A few months back I was in Hawaii on the set of TV show LOST, shooting an episode based on the enigmatic Agent Mule’s quest to identify the source of the Island’s power. In an off-island flash-forward purporting to be in Ethiopia, he confronts Charlotte Lewis, the anthropologist played by Rebecca Mader. Charlotte’s not happy to find Agent Mule on her ass, but she’s cunningly manipulated into allowing that the source of energy at the heart of the Island derives from the the biblical Ark of Covenant. WTF, you say?
Well, remember LOST scripts are mind-boggling. The back story, however, goes something like this: The Ark of the Covenant was taken from the Church of Saint Mary of Zion in Aksum, Ethiopia, where it had been hidden for centuries, after having been stolen from the Temple of Solomon by the bastard son of the Queen of Sheeba and King Solomon. Clear? Somehow the Ark’s power has been harnessed to run the LOST Island in a quasi Old Testament parable meets Tesla of the Illuminati plot device. As a clue for the hardcore Losties, a prop book, “The Sign and the Seal,” was shot quickly to support this magical story-line contention.
Well, the whole shebang was wicked: An imagined 3rd world market setting, mystical religious intrigue, plus a ballsy sex kitten of an actress playing opposite the Agent. Unfortunately, that bastard JJ Abrams decided to kill off Charlotte’s character in last night’s episode on ABC, and that means Agent Mule’s scene is now soaking in the tepid piña colada puddles of a Hawaiian cutting room floor. (SPOLIER ALERT!) These bastards are super-secretive and of course won’t release the footage, so all we have are few camera phone outtakes. Rebecca is taking this turn very hard indeed. In fact, she couldn’t be mader.
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I have no fucking idea what I just read.
02.12.09 at 9:44 am
damn I love that girl. is this true?
02.12.09 at 9:48 am
SHIT i was saving last night’s episode for next wednesday at 8
02.12.09 at 10:29 am
people on lost never die, they just fade away.
they either live on as ghosts or in flashbacks.
so this is some kind of troll, i think.
02.12.09 at 10:33 am
WHO IS TRACE AND WHY IS HE SHOOTING ON THE SET OF LOST
02.12.09 at 10:38 am
You fools no not what you talk of and should watch the ILLUMINATI’s Covert War Against HAILE SELASSIE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4DTPxsbLzI
02.12.09 at 10:55 am
Huh? You always did have a way with the ladies, though. Poor Rebecca.
02.12.09 at 11:54 am
Ha, the ethiopians claim the ark of the convenant is there, but it’s a load of crap. they won’t let anyone inside except for the monk dude who lives. My uncle was there during the war, he said they had no one guarding it, he could have stormed it if he felt so inclined but decided it was pointless.
02.12.09 at 12:09 pm
lost is for dumbshits
02.12.09 at 12:16 pm
Anonymous posters are chickensh*ts.
02.12.09 at 1:47 pm
who watches that fucking show?besides all the retarded koalas I work with….
02.12.09 at 3:05 pm
uh fuck i wish i didn’t skim this i’m catching up on lost now cos i am fucking old and boring
02.12.09 at 3:17 pm
I think Trace has been spun into Charlotte’s web. Go easy on the big guy, Charlotte. We’ve grown fond of his antics.
02.12.09 at 4:13 pm
Trace was on a LOST episode? That is great. Thanks VBS
02.12.09 at 6:19 pm