Imagine a nightmare: You’re a chambermaid in Thailand… wait, there’s more.. You enter a room to clean it. As you survey the room you notice something. “Ohh what’s this, a cord?” you say to yourself in Phad-Thai. You open a wardrobe to find David Carradine’s dead, semi nude body hanging by the neck.
Did he die of Michael Hutchence disease (as thousands do each year) or was it a suicide? All we know so far is that you (Mr Carradine) inspired an entire generation of men throughout North America to take King Fu lessons and misuse them in disputes at shopping malls and bars. Let’s find a cure for this disease that I really want to try out someday and will become addicted to.
Here he is battling Brandon Lee. Let’s hope they have a rematch in Heaven to that JAM SANDWICH of a song, “New Sensations.” Cheers buddy.
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this ain’t funny
06.04.09 at 12:13 pm
Beckles has to post under the columns now just to trick suckers into watching his shitty mashups.
FAIL
06.04.09 at 12:16 pm
“Your a chambermaid”?
Write much?
06.04.09 at 12:20 pm
jesus. i hate that stupid third grade mistake. fixed
06.04.09 at 12:26 pm
I know he didn’t really know karate but damn I loved the kung fu tv show. RIP your alcoholic bad acting death race 2000 ass will be missed.
06.04.09 at 12:30 pm
This is fucking hillarious, who are you kidding?
06.04.09 at 12:31 pm
this poetic post has made my day!
i can now visualize and have musical backdrop to an otherwise obscure incident
thanks beckles for opening my eyes
06.04.09 at 12:32 pm
Why are so many white guys offing themselves? Was he white?
06.04.09 at 12:36 pm
there is a support group for friends and family of those who die of MH disease, for real
06.04.09 at 12:41 pm
i gotta feeling grasshopper’s been touching kids
06.04.09 at 12:45 pm
Oh Ur, that was my first thought too. What else would an old white guy be doing in Bangkok?
06.04.09 at 1:04 pm
y
06.04.09 at 1:30 pm
Man. Good thing I’m not white or 72 years old. I would have fucking killed myself too.
06.04.09 at 1:35 pm
OOPZ
I meant to say I saw Caine in a toronto airport in 1994, he was about to board the same flight to LAX and I only knew him from Kung Fu The Legend Continues which was a shitty canadian update of Kung Fu filmed in the style of T&T, a fine Mr T vehicle that filmed on my pal Chris’s street in Riverdale, Toronna. so I thought he was kind of a corny bitch.. and I says to my mate chris I says “yo there’s that faggot from Kung Fu The Legend Con-URRNNAAGGHHH” cos he heard me and JAPOUNCED on my head. he systematically broke two ribs and then pinned a copy of this promo pic onto my nerple:
http://www.kweb.be/images/stories/News/carradine_autograph.jpg
I jacked it hard and looooong that night lemme tell you. annyways here’s hoping Kung Fu’s ghost does the same to Beckles for being such a news pouncer.. fucking hell think of the guy’s 5th wife, she doesn’t need to read about him jacking it to def you divot
06.04.09 at 1:36 pm
@ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah, I wish I was a member of that accomplishment laden ethnic group we call the Puerto Rican. The endless list of smart white guys who make the world go round ain’t got nothin’ on the likes of Hector “Macho” Camacho. Luv yer blog, by the way.
06.04.09 at 1:49 pm
Puerto Ricans….hahaha…
06.04.09 at 2:03 pm
David Carradine died?! I just shamelessly watched (Rob Schneider’s) Big Stan the other night. It sucked big time (and I liked Deuce Bigalow II), but Carradine was awesome in it.
06.04.09 at 3:10 pm
funny post, yes. But now I have to go to my closet and think about this.
06.04.09 at 3:17 pm
I am hungry for some Phad Thai on Jam Toast now. it totally syncs up!
06.04.09 at 3:20 pm
Noose Sensation
06.04.09 at 3:37 pm
Wondering if they’ve questioned Uma Thurman?
06.04.09 at 4:57 pm
AMAZING. This is why pinky rules.
06.04.09 at 5:13 pm
noose sensation…hahahahaha…good job derrick, er…FaceKick
06.04.09 at 5:24 pm
bloggnigger is very not funny man. You should go to Fulan Dafa camp on first visit.
from Preck
06.04.09 at 8:00 pm
Awright – I say we ban JANG & replace him with PReck_. 10 bucks says it’s the same dude anyhow.
06.04.09 at 8:28 pm
How fucking good were INXS. Very good you little bastards.
06.04.09 at 8:56 pm
Film Goober Quentin Tarantino has announced his intention to remake one the most perfect American movies ever: Russ Meyer’s “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”
Is it asking too much to hope that Quentin dies jacking off in a closet before he can do the remake?
06.05.09 at 4:12 am
^ But after the new Tura Satana is discovered, ok?
06.05.09 at 5:22 am
He could have been saved and an Italian-American could have taken his place.
06.05.09 at 6:06 am
“shitty mashups”?
hey, that hurts!
D.E.B.
06.05.09 at 5:03 pm
holy shit:
carnage = historical and hysterical genius
06.06.09 at 5:08 pm
at least Carradine got a lot of living in before he passed on, RIP
06.09.09 at 3:55 am
I never really understood Carradine’s death. I guess that’s why there’s a new book on the topic, “David Carradine: The Eye of My Tornado”. Maybe the book will try to explain things.
05.12.10 at 12:01 pm