I was recently challenged to a blind taste test in order to determine which bourbon was of higher quality, Maker’s Mark or Wild Turkey. EVERYONE (including me) who hears about these kinds of tests, scoffs and says, “I could tell no problem” but give it a try. Nine times out of ten people cannot identify their favorite drink. I have made tens upon tens of dollars betting people re this challenge and was disappointed to discover how easy it was to fall into the same trap.

PS look at my fucking Dad’s face. What is he, a turtle with AIDS? He looks like David Letterman in a thousand years if he was mummified. My brother and I call him Letterman 3009. He looks like this.

PPS Women shouldn’t drink.
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that’s because Makers and WT are both shit. It’s all about Jamison
01.08.09 at 11:44 pm
i want to make a mark on your ass with my teeth.
01.08.09 at 11:46 pm
Jameson??? ya rube??
01.08.09 at 11:54 pm
Jameson is an Irish whiskey. Maker’s Mark and Wild Turkey are Kentucky bourbon whiskeys. Huge difference.
01.09.09 at 12:03 am
im a recent convert to J&B, and im never going back to my old self.
01.09.09 at 12:40 am
What’s the drunk woman saying at the end? “My friend’s racist in Jesus Lizard”?!
01.09.09 at 2:34 am
i was always weirded out by friends who could call their parents fucking ugly mutts to their faces. it was some strange goyish behavior that was totally foreign to my household. still, your dad must be proud.
01.09.09 at 2:57 am
Well, women get as stressed out. In fact, they’re twice as likely to suffer from depression, so drinking to fill a void makes sense (since a lot of the time doctors just perscribe alcoholics with prozac). You do make a good point about females having to carry a baby for 9 months… but men also have to keep their body free of toxins to better be able to spread their seed and spread healthier seeds.
And about women being annoying drunks and men just chilling when their drunk…. I mean, you’re just kidding, right? I know you’re always kidding, but this time your *just* kidding, right? It was hilarious, anyway. I mean, men are more likely to rape and beat women when inebriated… obviously, it doesn’t turn them all mellow.
Dude, you have the best deadpan delivery. Oh, and even when you do gross shit like pick your nose, you look dashing because you always come off as the world’s least self-conscious man.
01.09.09 at 3:07 am
Makers mark till death. The netflix interview thing is lame.
01.09.09 at 3:24 am
well, fuck
“you’re”
“they’re”
leave me alone, Goad
01.09.09 at 3:31 am
the middle one isn’t me
you know, it’s mighty irritating that the username of the last person who posts a comment enters all the “name boxes” or whatever
it’s stupid and confusing
seriously, why the cock does SC do this? this is the only site I know that does it
01.09.09 at 3:33 am
Wild Turkey is ok. It’s the name that gives it a bad rap because it sounds tough.
01.09.09 at 3:44 am
hahaha—i solve this problem by posting under at least twenty monikers. i believe that being attatched to one name is a symptom of ego-based society, beginning a few millenia ago when ancient man heard a voice in his head and called it ‘god’. we now call this voice ‘I’. in the future, such ego-divisions will be broken down, and human interaction will be modelled on flows of desire and energy. the skin of the individual will not be unconsciously considered the wall between self and society, but rather what it actually is–a permeable membrane that facilitates continuous communication between the world within and the world without. carpe diem, my brother-sister.
01.09.09 at 4:03 am
i am the woman who orders makers on the rocks
01.09.09 at 4:24 am
poopside burnout- yeah, i agree. but if you become a regular, you can be accused of being a pussy who doesn’t want to take responsibility for what he/she says. anyhow, i add certain give-aways like “cock sprout” and “cock ferret.” my trademarks.
oh and people can still comment under your username because of convenience. there will still be confusion. it’s just so useless.
01.09.09 at 4:52 am
bourbon.. why don’t you just knock the neck off a perfume bottle and drink that, you gay?
01.09.09 at 4:53 am
yeah, what if i’m a femme who drinks whiskey out of the bottle? do i get a pass? i hate dumbass cocktails, too.
01.09.09 at 4:53 am
Bourbon is butch; I drink Wiser’s, Canadian Club, & Royal Reserve.
01.09.09 at 6:35 am
“PS look at my fucking Dad’s face. What is he, a turtle with AIDS? He looks like David Letterman in a thousand years if he was mummified. My brother and I call him Letterman 3009. He looks like this.”
that was really funny.
hahah i also love how fucking happy you looked when you thought you guessed it right. you were totally all like “yes! im the man! i fucking picked that shit out!” and then you just got shot down, right at the peak of your joy and pride. that too, was funny.
01.09.09 at 10:27 am
if you’re in a relationship, and you don’t want your woman to go out and potentially be hit on or start flirting with other men, gavin’s rant is a good one to keep her home. you make her laugh, you tell her what to do without telling her what to do, and you make her feel insecure and stupid. men trying to control their women, take note.
01.09.09 at 10:47 am
is your dad irish ?
01.09.09 at 11:06 am
Wow, poopside burnout is dropping Nagasaki-sized knowledge bombs on us! Look, he already has a convert.
01.09.09 at 12:34 pm
The Irish Whiskey called Black Bush is very, very good.
01.09.09 at 1:19 pm
Jim Beam!
01.09.09 at 1:25 pm
makers for sipping, wild turkey for tipping!
01.09.09 at 2:13 pm
Evolution is a bunch of crap……1. men have nipples; 2. gays have been around for ever……both destroy the whole “adaptation/mutation to promote the survival of the species” line. That said, women are shitty drunks (so are babies!)
01.09.09 at 3:31 pm
fuck yeah-Black Bush!!
01.09.09 at 3:55 pm
I think his dad is Scottish!
01.09.09 at 5:24 pm
i drink whiskey and ice all the time
but im french
and british
and a potato
01.09.09 at 7:50 pm
I just can’t get over it. Why the cock would you use someone else’s name? I want a cocksucking identity!
01.09.09 at 7:53 pm
Makers Mark is crazy overrated. Try some Blanton’s or just take a Black Label, it’s better even though its a blend.
01.09.09 at 8:06 pm
Jesus Christ we got some snooty monocle-wearing assholes here. Ancient Age and Old Crow for the blue collar bitches like myself. Sure my head hurts in the morning, but at least it doesn’t hurt from the knowledge that I spent an inordinate amount of money to turn myself into a blathering monster.
01.09.09 at 8:42 pm
Straight whiskey will make you shit yourself. Literally shit yourself. I’ll stick to the gin-tonics.
01.09.09 at 10:24 pm
I cane note posit thee words I wont two, fackin coont.
http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/f/firm-script-transcript-gary-oldman.html
01.10.09 at 3:42 am
what are you buttheads going on about whiskey for? who cares what brand you enjoy. I just want to know what’s up with this guy’s clothes. He’s one of those buy the same outfit in every colour kind of guys. Now that he’s bought everything that fred perry ever made, he’s working on getting the same tartan shirt in 50 colours. What a butt.
01.10.09 at 4:02 am
but whatta guy!
01.10.09 at 6:07 am
indeed
01.10.09 at 9:11 pm
all this booze talk is distracting everyone from how amazing that drawing of your dad is.
01.12.09 at 4:09 pm
I’m a man and I’ve been drinking nothing but box wine and aids blood all day.
01.12.09 at 4:18 pm