This just in: Jesus is the CumNigger!!
You know how Andre the Giant has a posse or whatever?
Well Jesus Christ – the FAMOUS one, not some Dominican rapist in Queens – owns and operates a blog called “CumNigger,” for niggers who love and enjoy cum and cum byproducts. It’s a marriage of convenience because Jesus himself is a cum-loving nigger!
Offense offense offense; suck my halfjew jewhating blackballs.
Now, what exactly pushes human beings from a reasonable response to what I just said, e.g. “Hey fuck you – that’s my religion – ok, what’s for lunch…” to a hysterical response in which tears are shed, proportion is blown, work is abandoned, problems are ignored, meetings are held, and laws are enacted to prevent people from ever being offended again.
This week, Mexican Playboy gets Burger King-supersized props for publishing an issue of their boring grampa rag with a picture of a naked Virgin Mary on the cover. All of Mexico freaked the fuck out, as did hypocritical liberals in the regular world, the story made it to the Huffington paste, and once again Playboy is on everyone’s mind.
God you fags make it easy to generate publicity.
Allah Akbar do I only just wish this had been a picture of a slut in a burka instead; too bad Playboy’s just daring, not suicidal. Damn though, imagine? I would give the rest of my Dutch hash just to make that covergirl a naked Muslim woman with tit-holes cut out of her Darth Vader cape. There’s just one practical problem, and that’s that every muslim woman is fat and hairy and repulsive and you could NEVER find one you’d wanna bang or get a footjob from, let alone one that was hot enough for Playboy.
Not so for Christian women! Take a look at this virgin mary – god DAMN who wouldn’t fuck this holey bitch in half. No wonder she had to lie to Joeseph about being fucked by a 6 foot 8 negro moor-shepherd!
As for you brainwashed Catholics, snap out of it you Katie Holmos:
Once again you’re paying attention to some shiny-object bullshit instead of the real fuckin issues:
a) Mexico is a country riddled with corruption, drugs, crime, and pubic lice. Maybe if their faggot government had an epileptic seizure over these issues instead of over a naked woman with a mosquito net on her head, their people wouldn’t have so many flies on them (not their white-looking people, i mean the dark Aztecy ones with the baskets).
b) Christianity itself (forget the murders and dick yankings of the past, I’m only talkin about TODAY) has got rampant problems including widespread J-priestly sexual abuse and teaching its followers that they’ll burn for letting gays have health insurance.
Practicing catholics: Please concentrate on fixing these sorts of issues before you start freaking the fuck out that someone got naked, fucked before marriage, or sent this to your kid on myspace:
Take care,
Celebrating 0009 days since my last proper dump.
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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somewhat disappointed.
12.17.08 at 1:49 pm
You’re trying too hard.
12.17.08 at 1:51 pm
this is written so dumbly.
12.17.08 at 1:58 pm
^^ you’re trying JEW hard
It seems pretty wrong that a lot of us defenders of western civ now take a pathological glee in offending Muslims. I mean, the reality is that we just want to punch the fascist ones. But it is what it is, word two kimbo
12.17.08 at 1:58 pm
Short but great and too the point. People get worked up over shit like this to distract the masses from the real shit.
12.17.08 at 2:01 pm
You have taken a heavy burden upon yourself and you are starting to suck. In the immortal words of Kool Keith “Your mom is your fanbase.”
Your mom is white.
peace nigger
-ian
12.17.08 at 2:10 pm
haha, looks like you offended some SC christians! wahhh don’t talk about our jesus – you’re starting to suck!!
12.17.08 at 2:30 pm
Somehow I don’t think the Mexicans that I see in strip clubs blowing air into the pussies of bent over crack ho dancers will get too freaked out by that issue of Playboy. And yeah, it looks like people dig it when you rail on just about everything else on the planet except their mystical idols.
12.17.08 at 2:40 pm
i would have more respecti if i thought you had the balls to talk to/about your wife and daughter(s) the same way. but i don’t get the feeling that you do.
12.17.08 at 2:41 pm
there are no words to describe how perfect her boobies are.
12.17.08 at 2:53 pm
I know I’ll get destroyed for this, but yeah, I think this is going too far, I’ll admit it. I don’t think it’s right to be quite so disgusting and intentionally hurtful when you’re dealing with people’s beliefs- even if they seem ludicrous to you.
12.17.08 at 2:55 pm
http://flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/sets/72157611367006606/
12.17.08 at 2:58 pm
Donnajean- i feel the same way as you. Just kind of gross, dumb and hurtful from start to end. It’s not even well done.
12.17.08 at 3:02 pm
@ Radracer: No one said anything about being offended. This is inflammatory tripe. You’re a dickrider.
12.17.08 at 3:04 pm
haha shiny object bullshit
12.17.08 at 3:05 pm
I still think BN should write a book, but I feel like I’ve heard thise gripe a million times. But this was a recent event that happened, so at least it didn’t cum out of nowhere. (Pfff, hahahahahahaa snort!!!)
12.17.08 at 3:07 pm
yeah this doesn’t have that blognigger “fire” that we want. The thing you put on blognigger.com about fighting your wife over who gets to shit first was way better, you should put that one up here instead.
12.17.08 at 3:17 pm
I know the blognigger type, he needs competition to produce quality.
12.17.08 at 3:20 pm
Good Posting BN. Nobody causes more poppers in this world than the muslims. Of course with the mexicans, YMMV
12.17.08 at 3:25 pm
wow, just wow. Finally we get to see what happens when bn offends white Christians. This is exactly the same as every one of blognigger’s posts, except this time it’s about YOU, and you don’t like it one bit.
Amazing how all u kewl kids are just like everyone else. Enjoy the mall.
12.17.08 at 3:33 pm
Not bad, but once you take a proper dump rewrite it. I’m sure it’ll be better.
Happy shitting!
12.17.08 at 3:33 pm
I don’t think anyone is offended by its content but more its execution… Not the BN we know and love.
12.17.08 at 3:41 pm
HOLY SHIT, people are calling this “hurtful”?? is that a joke?? I’m a jew and you know how often shit gets said about us? And it doesnt even fucking matter because no one fucking cares!! Deal with it, whiney bitches.
12.17.08 at 4:29 pm
cuntegonde is right. you can’t write if you’re filled with toxicity. you need to take care of your body. miss cleo and miss appalachian are worried about you blognigger. miss cleo thinks you should seek out a shaman. honestly though, anal sex is the best way to cure your problem. you need to get fucked in the butt.
this writing is for the compost.
12.17.08 at 4:31 pm
What a bunch of fucking pussies…
Waaaaaaaah don’t make fun of my monsterrrrrrrrr
12.17.08 at 4:48 pm
I like how the most religious people in the world are the ones that were forced to take that religion when they were enslaved. i.e. Mexican Catholics and Black Christians. Being poor and needing something to give you hope has a lot to do with it, but that’s irony for ya.
12.17.08 at 5:20 pm
lol@u
First good comment on this whiny thread. You’re right, that’s interesting and I hadn’t thought of it.
12.17.08 at 5:31 pm
I read this site daily and I realize that at some point someone is going to make fun of things that are close to my heart. Well, I’m black, so on this site it happens all the time. However, I take Christianity way more serious than race. So…this sucks. I appreciate Muslims for the way they ban together and stick up for their beliefs. I wish Christians did that more often and not in the “don’t give gays health insurance” kind of way.
Not mad or anything, I just think this post is trying too hard to be controversial. By doing that, it has failed to be interesting or relevant.
12.17.08 at 5:45 pm
Here’s a slide to analyze: Is the BN via SBTVC fan base brutally honest, or pitifully fair-weather?
You’re filthy, insensitive, and ripe with social commentary geared toward typically unsettled young people who are amidst a struggle to formulate their own opinions. Unfortunately this recipe has boxed you in like Mark Hamill. If you fail to deliver a hearty dollop of angst ridden substance (as evident in this post), your readers (SBTVC) will yank up their pants and spit until you’re a runny Clay Aiken.
You’re heinous motherfucker as usual, so I’m happy.
12.17.08 at 6:06 pm
Agreeing with most people above.
Trying too hard to be offensive in such an obvious way is more offensive than anything that was actually said in this piece.
It bores me.
12.17.08 at 6:07 pm
To clarify:
That was intended to be fairly supportive. You’re not the source, you’re the UPS man.
12.17.08 at 6:25 pm
but i love you blognigger.
12.17.08 at 6:35 pm
Buncha playa-hatin’ fanboys hatin’ on a man because he’s black.
12.17.08 at 6:37 pm
Jesus is the cumnigger? Really? Does that even mean anything?
12.17.08 at 6:39 pm
Well, it’s a very interesting question Cap’n, and in the end, it’s the latter.
This is absolute exactly the same kind of thing BN has always written:
Offensive, funny, interesting, smart: typical BN.
And this post has its gems- e.g. using “Katie Holmos” in that context – pure brilliance.
but you know, people are funny. They fall in love and become quite fickle – it happens again and again. Cross that with the fact that people really do not like their religion fucked with, and you get a response like this one.
Look at how dramatic people are in these comments- It’s obvious that they expect a lot, and are quick to turn as soon as they don’t get what they think they want. This is why kurt cobain blew his brains out before the honeymoon period ended- an approach which has its benefits.
12.17.08 at 6:43 pm
It’s fine, if a little to short. I myself enjoy Blognigger’s meanderings. The Goad thingy is way more inflammatory than this.
We should all play a game. Share with us what it is that you really do to bring home the bacon.
I’ll go first for all you pussies.
I work two jobs, and I study. I work at a library and a group home.
There, that wasn’t so hard – spill it fuckers: I am what I do.
12.17.08 at 6:50 pm
Oh and Vane$$a was kinda right in brevity being informative of wit. Not always though, it’s but one way. Not to be on the Lesley beatdown train, but her screeds are short and not all that polished.
But Blognigger, you don’t need to heed that advice. Fuck a short attention span, take me away! I could smell the cum in that rub and tug piece, and made some side trips along the way.
12.17.08 at 7:01 pm
BN, you talk much and say nothing.
12.17.08 at 7:31 pm
trust me, you guys can stop with he advice. you feel how he wants you to feel, and react accordingly.
12.17.08 at 7:36 pm
Jim Goad wrote: “Buncha playa-hatin’ fanboys hatin’ on a man because he’s black.”
So are we hatin’ because he’s a playa or hatin because he’s black? Internal incoherence means YOU LOSE the argument. Too bad.
12.17.08 at 7:44 pm
Ha,
Say this to yourself, and let it resonate:
“I’m a victim of Blog Nigger’s ethereal wisdom.”
Right?
12.17.08 at 7:48 pm
The economy can’t be all that bad if all you assholes can find to worry about is what some guy wrote on this shitty site
12.17.08 at 7:51 pm
All of you trying to defend this way below par offering: in’t one Obama enough? BN missed with this effort and that’s the truth. Stop trying to polish a turd.
Ona brighter note, at least he finally dropped a load. It just happened to land on his audience.
12.17.08 at 8:42 pm
merry christmas blog nigger. god is punishing you for your blasphemy with anal blockage.
12.17.08 at 9:02 pm
street boners has never seen a more hilarious moment than all of you faggots arguing over a joke. simply incredble.
12.17.08 at 9:20 pm
PERSIAN BITCHES ARE FINE!
12.17.08 at 9:44 pm
Correction: He’s a cum loving SANDnigger.
12.17.08 at 11:36 pm
homeless said it best
12.17.08 at 11:55 pm
Blog N-Word does what Vane$$a tells him to do. It’s super spooky.
12.18.08 at 12:41 am
Oh I know. I’ve been watching this whole thing go down from the git, holmes. She got up in his head. It’s all witchy and shit.
12.18.08 at 12:48 am
Hot, rich Muslim women have their facial hair ripped out every week, like clockwork. BlogN needs to do some more traveling.
And I can’t believe Street Carnage readers are this easy. Seriously?
12.18.08 at 4:48 am
im no christian, i just…didnt enjoy this one. It didnt make me laugh.
12.18.08 at 4:16 pm
I hope blognigger doesn’t read all of the comments on all of his articles. I mean I probably would, but when I imagine him doing it, for some reason he seems like a big loser and I feel really sad for him.
12.18.08 at 6:25 pm
He fucking writes 90% of his own comments. Get a clue.
12.18.08 at 8:56 pm
I was brought up catholic and I kinda like this photo shoot, not offended by BN either. But seriously 9 days without a proper shit I don’t think thats good for you…
12.18.08 at 9:15 pm
Jesus is spat in the face, yet again
12.18.08 at 11:35 pm
Argument: spot on. Yes, we’re easily distracted; yes, no religion get’s a get-out-of-being-made-fun-of-for-being-delusional-sheep-free-card. I especially like the fucked-the-black-guy-and-lied-about-it bit.
Don’t use your fuckcumniggerfag asides as a crutch. Just read Friday’s BN: that’s what I”m talking about. Don’t be lazy.
12.19.08 at 8:38 pm