Besides abortion, gay marriage and Asian pussy vs. Latina pussy, the only issue that instantly polarizes a room is Michael Jackson. That’s why earlier today at work when it was announced over the radio that M.J. might be dead, I knew shit was going to be interesting.
“Na, na, that ain’t possible.”
“Yo whateva, that nigga has sex with kids. Fuck ‘em.”
“Dude, that shit ain’t even proven.”
“Would you let your kid chill with him?”
“Na, I didn’t say that–I’m just saying…Why they gotta play ‘Rock with You’ right now? Fuck… I’m not going to cry…”
Now I’m sure that Blognigger is going to have a word about this, what with Michael Jackson being black for at least half his life and all, but I feel like I’m qualified to talk about this because brown people FUCKING LOVE Michael Jackson. If you venture out to the most remote Indian village the people might not know Barack Obama, but they sure as hell will know Michael Jackson. Shit, you’ll probably find someone named Michael Jackson Shreekumindanar. Need further proof? Benny Lava. When was the last time a black person embarrassed his/herself and entire race so thoroughly for Michael?
Anyway, what my worked up coworkers failed to realize is that Michael Jackson’s been dead since 1993, specifically since the day he maybe/possibly/probably molested that little kid. After that his face started melting, skin started turning white and he just generally went insane. This is also when he started doing all that really crazy shit, like naming a kid “Blanket” and dangling him outside a four-story balcony.
Yeah, on that day in ‘93 Michael Jackson died and was replaced by a bat-shit crazy, possibly extraterrestrial, suspected pedophile. The problem was no one realized it then so they’re mourning it now. So listen here angry black kids at my job: you’re both right. Michael Jackson was fucking awesome and it sucks that he died, however long ago that was; also, the world’s little boys are certainly safer now without that questionable, pasty-faced alien that collapsed earlier today from acute cardiac arrest. Let the mourning/celebration commence.
- Arv
rough-draught.blogspot.com
P.S. Apparently Farrah Fawcett died today too. Sucks to be her.
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4384 access attempts in the last 7 days.
Yo, I heard it was food poisoning that got Michael.
06.26.09 at 12:00 am
i was with a friend at a restaurant in india ,when the waiter noticed my friends elvis badge.this was the conversation..
waiter ‘who is this? michael jackson?’
my friend ‘no! it’s the king!’
waiter ‘of england? ‘
06.26.09 at 12:10 am
“Michael Jackson Shreekumindanar” is probably the funniest thing I’ve read in months.
06.26.09 at 12:59 am
King of Pop? More like King of Heart Attacks.
But seriously folks, the children are safe now.
06.26.09 at 1:04 am
Al Sharpton said something about him being the Original Negro, or something like that. He just kept banging on about how black he was. And that he was more niggerish than Tiger Woods — which isn’t difficult to be.
06.26.09 at 1:11 am
They fucking LOVE MJ in Tamil Nadu (southern India, where this video is from). Weirdly, they seem to like early 90s “Scream” Michael Jackson best. No idea why.
06.26.09 at 2:00 am
I am, was, very close with Michael. I called him Fondue and he often referred to me in private as Book Shelf, mutual terms of endearment pause. Yes I did some enabling, guilty as charged, but I can assure you he never dangled a hooded infant out a window while making a menacing terror face as your drawing implies. I can assure you that was just a rumor, I was there when it didn’t happen.
06.26.09 at 2:10 am
i heard he died choking on a 8 year old wiener.
06.26.09 at 2:19 am
Im not that surprised, he had been looking a bit pale lately..
06.26.09 at 2:29 am
I’d be happy to let MJ rape every child in the world for one more song half as good as “Rock With You”.
06.26.09 at 5:05 am
Dave Chappelle on MJ: http://tinyurl.com/cqrjt6
06.26.09 at 5:40 am
R.I.P King of Pop Michael Jackson
May he rest in peace.
We all are going to miss him.
He’ll live in our hearts forever.
06.26.09 at 5:51 am
annie are you okay?
will you tell us that you’re okay?
there’s a sign in the window
that he struck you, a crescendo annie
he came into your apartment
he left a bloodstain on the carpet
then you ran into the bedroom
you were struck down
it was your doom
r.i.p. king of pop…
06.26.09 at 6:08 am
Wasnt MJ famous in the 80’s?
Who REALLY gis a fuck?
Come on people!
06.26.09 at 6:22 am
I’m not dead yet.
06.26.09 at 6:33 am
@ZLUR
I LIKED FARRAH FAUCETS NIPPLES THEY SHOULD MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT HER JUST LIKE WALK THE LINE BUT WITH CHARLIES ANGELS INSTEAD OF COUNTRY MUSIC
06.26.09 at 6:38 am
Today and this weekend are going to kick total ass.. Has anyone flipped on the TV. He’s taken over every channel. VH1 and MTV are playing non-stop Michael all day and I’m sure it’ll be all weekend. YES! I recommend having a bender this weekend and cramming your brain full of Michael. Download the video game too while your at it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF89npFbn8g
06.26.09 at 7:59 am
It really scares me, how impious people can act, just because they feel anonymous…
Write silly blogs/make grose comments about someone who recently DIED?
Have you no other possibility to express yourself………….or a life?
I feel sorry for you, having no idea what “ethic” is…
06.26.09 at 9:07 am
There are two old men in the food court next to me having an argument about MJ. One contends that he is a ‘weirdo’ and the other thinks the government was behind everything.
06.26.09 at 9:48 am
Of course he was black. Forget the skin color. White people can neither sing nor dance like he did.
06.26.09 at 9:57 am
tina, i gather you’re new here, welcome! ahaha!
06.26.09 at 10:06 am
I always hoped Michael would do a cover version of “Macho Man”. I guess that dream is dead.
06.26.09 at 10:24 am
right on. good post.
06.26.09 at 12:16 pm
Hey, at least I’m still alive!
06.26.09 at 1:29 pm
I don’t think that Michael died so much as he just decided to be Latoya full time.
06.26.09 at 2:03 pm
Arv for Prezzidaaant! Bravo on the post-o.
Tina, suck a cock with it.
06.26.09 at 3:42 pm
Are you lost?
06.26.09 at 3:53 pm
Everyone knows that when Jackasso dangled that kid he was reviving an ancient african tradition of presenting the new child to the tribe. Haven’t you fags seen “The Lion King”? Duh
06.26.09 at 5:04 pm
my dad thinks he’s just faking his death cuz he was in a lot of debt/he didn’t want to do that concert thing.
06.26.09 at 8:19 pm
“ethic” hahahaa fuck off you silly twat. defending someone you never met is just as silly as making fun of the guy, so get over it you whiny douchebag.
06.26.09 at 10:09 pm
as far as i am aware “farah faucet” is neither a gay porn name nor a drag queen name yet
06.27.09 at 4:09 am
soon hes gonna look like tha corpse from the thriller video….no makeup
06.27.09 at 4:03 pm
u sad fucks,,,,leave him alone
06.27.09 at 6:38 pm
well kuntz,ur a dick head
06.27.09 at 6:40 pm
You ppl have no respect at all michael Jackson was a good man and did alot for everyone he never hurt anyone let alone children!! he was proven innocent of all charges! Maybe you should read up on the skin condition that he had that made him lose all pigmintation in his skin!!! If it wasn’t for Michael Jackson you ALL WOULD BE NOTHING!!!! R.I.P Michael we all love you! Now your free no oone can hurt you anymore!!!
07.12.09 at 3:48 pm