Neo-Cynicism Now Strictly “For and By the Fags”
Hipster, Punk, Goth, Metal, Hippie, Hip-Hop, Queerbeast; Regardless of the clothing required or language faked, all “scenes” are spawned from exactly the same 2 human conditions: Insecurity and Boredom.
In Highschool, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking the music you feel most drawn to, dressing like the other people who listen to it, learning a baseball-card-fagload about it, and becoming obsessed. In fact, this full-scale immersion can be the key to getting friends, getting laid, and being happy. Anyone urging highschool kids to “avoid scenes,” “embrace individuality,” and “just be themselves,” has let a little too much time pass since they last stood alone in a school-gym shower, friendless and shrivel-dicked, facing the wrath of jocks with hugely successful portfolios.
As we grow older, our chosen scene begins to bring us value of a more abstract nature: During this phase, our scene is primarily useful in combating the metaphysical boredom inherent in the life of a 9-to-5 drone. Many more adults would succumb to boredom and sorrow related deaths (due, for example, to shotgun-face, openwrist, and the extended boomdrop neckstretch) if they were unable to count-down the days until they and their old nostalgia-droogs were joining up at Pete’s house to head to the next Screeching Weasel gig.
So, not only are “scenes” an American Tradition™ – they’re a goddamn survival technique! Despite the preaching of self-professed Scene-Haters (who as we all know, are hypocritical in their formation of a scene based on hating scenes – see facebook group: ‘people who hate facebook groups’), scenes are clearly a win-win.
…and it goes without saying that our own one-true-scene deserves special mention in this conversation, being that it is so much sweller than all other scenes!
But wait – Listen:
We must never fall into the common retard-trap of allowing ourselves to believe, for even a second, that there’s any deeper “meaning,” or “movement” behind our chosen music-and-t-shirt collective.
Just as we’d all laugh our asses off at a Hippie’s suggestion that they were somehow saving the planet by turning their heads into birds’ nests and listening to The Phish, equally laughable is the idea that cynicism, our scene’s version of a Hippie’s “peace n’ love,” is somehow making our society better. (see Fig. 0.9)
Being cynical is FUN, and it gets you pussy, but that’s not the same thing as it being an actionable worldview that makes you smart and helps the world get fixed: Therefore, never get uppity while you wax neo-cynical – fatal error right there!
Here’s a fun fact: I, me, Blognigger – I do not do anything to make a difference. I sit on my ass, jack it to pr0ns, listen to Daniel Carver of the KKK tapes, and think of funny shit to write. I’m a lazy cunt who for the most part cares only about my own family and sometimes other people’s families, IFF the director on cnn does a good job of editing the segment such that I feel bad and momentarily stomach-heavy.
If you’re like me and mostly don’t give a shit, and you wanna be a punk nihilist and sit around getting high and being an outsider – that’s cool. But let’s get it straight: WE’RE the assholes who don’t give a shit- Not Obama, for example, and not the people who optimistically worked to bring him to power.
Guess what – Obama has already changed the world by bringing hope and healing to B-B-BILLIONS of people around the globe. Neo-Cynisism can’t fuck with that – it’s real.
-”Obama brings hope but who brings the PBR son more pushups”
-”Yah and BILLIONS more are STARVING cause of Bush”
-”This bores my internets, cuntbat”
-”When did Blognigger go from being Dave Chappelle to Robin Williams”
These are all AWESOME responses offered up by FAGS – they are pretty funny! For even funnier ones, see the comments section below. StreetCarnage is funny shit that I read every word of. Love it! But remember that Hipsters are comedians, and don’t get confused and become self-righteous next time the real world issues come around! Remember: you’re a jerkoff.
As far as the actual, important, REAL issues are concerned, your cynisism is as useless as a hippie’s blonde dreads – and from now on, it is obsolete. Obama has proven you gay.
For those of you who say Obama is just-like-all-the-rest, some kind of shill for corporate interest: You’re the shill. What do you think all this hipster shit is? You spend your money on being told what to think until the biggest media empire of all time pays people like Gavin in treasure because they so perfectly control you. I don’t think that track record quite puts you in a position to judge shillage.
You’re the fucking shills.
NOT all of you! I’ve been amazed by how great some of the Streetcarnage readers are, namely the people who told Gavin to “grow up” during his don’t-vote post, or who supported David Cross in his recent email about how neo-cynics have a twelve inch penis growing out of their foreheads and thus can’t see shit since the balls are in their eyes.
Now prepare yourselves: This is an era in which you will find many people becoming inspired by government. You are going to see a lot of regular people asking what they can do for their country, applying to work for the Obama administration, and trying to make a difference in real life.
I myself won’t be participating, because I’m too fucking lazy, greedy, and scared. But I don’t harbor any illusion that my selfish path somehow makes me smarter than the people who are actually trying to help. (Many of you do – you are “Those in the Know,” as vane$$a says – there you go, you dumb racist cunt: you’re famous.)
Never believe that the cynicism you spend on scene-dues is actually legal tender in the real world – it would be as dumb as a Hippie thinking he can fight global warming by fashioning a testicle-choker out of hemp.
To re-cap, from now on:
“I LOVE Led Zeppelin but I HATE stairway to Heaven” = Ha! Funny and cool hipster cynicism. good stuff!
“The primary target of globalizati–” = ah-ah-ah; shut your cunthole.
Take care!
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thank jesus
11.12.08 at 1:52 pm
Fucking spot on.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. This is possibly the best thing I’ve ever read on SC.
11.12.08 at 1:54 pm
ballsy and true. im a hipster chick and i would fuck him.
obama!!!!
11.12.08 at 1:59 pm
get your own blog, nigger. too many fucking words
11.12.08 at 2:07 pm
Thank you, BN. It’s a new golden age of poseur-cynical bastards shutting the fuck up – Obama’s transition team is hard at work on that. And more matrices, please.
For the first time in a long time, I’m damn proud to be an American.
11.12.08 at 2:14 pm
wow. wow. really great post.
Something I want to see floated by Obama is a new public works project – a la FDR – using around 150 to 200 Billion USD to hire out of work Americans to fix our bridges, sewers, highways, rails, installing more broadband and other neglected infrastructure -which NEEDS fixing by the way – as way to decrease unemployment and again make the country more viable economically. I mean we have less broadband access per capita than Estonia – fact.
i wouldn’t actually participate – but it would make me feel inspired and not cynical.
PS: cocaine is proven to destroy your empathy over time – another reason for all the cynicism perhaps?
11.12.08 at 2:22 pm
I think all the delusional, empty, uninformed, zombie-eyed optimism is what causes cynicism.
Let’s give it two years and see who’s wrong.
11.12.08 at 2:26 pm
Excellence in journalism blognigger, I couldn’t agree more.
Vane$$a’s comment about not getting “black humor” was wickedly retarded. She gets classified as scary stupid.
Hipsterism involves some good music, and inspires cheap beers in my neighborhood. Things we can all be proud of. However their “profoundness” (if you will) is identical to that of every nauseatingly self-righteous hippie fuck I have ever met. Even when I was a 17-year-old dumb fuck full of LSD, opium, and alcohol trying to get laid at Sam Boyd stadium in Vegas, watching an imaginary movie projected onto the stage curtains, while the Dead meandered through a never-ending set, I still thought their bullshit was ridiculous.
BTW, have you ever heard Daniel Carver’s wife talk? Way more hardcore, and entertaining…
11.12.08 at 2:27 pm
I have a healthy dose of cynicism I think, and although I realize Obes is still a politician and a portion of those who voted for him are going a little overboard with the blind optimism like he equals world peace and no aids or sick babies, I DO think he’s a much better “vibe” than that old dude and the hot chick.
11.12.08 at 2:32 pm
brilliant, piercing essay.
and for publishing it, my estimation of mr. mcinnis just went up.
11.12.08 at 2:32 pm
Hmmm, I’m caught. On the one hand, I agree with BN. After I turned 23 (maybe it was 24?) got out of NYC and experienced what life was like the real world, I realized how unimportant the “important people” in NY were and how retarded scenes and fashion etc were. On the other hand, I think it’s important to not be blinded by optimism and to always have a healthy skepticism regarding the government and politics in general. (Healthy Skepticism does not entail black helicopters around the bilderburg conference the 9/11 truth movement or morons of that light, but a realization that most significant changes in this world get done because of money or bullets. For example, Vietnam protesters that think they are the reason we pulled out of Vietnam are deluded.) That being said, I’m not sure where I stand. I want to make the world a better place, I strive to, but then someone brings up the negative effects of do gooder NGO in Africa, and I’m met again with my own cynicism in regards to helping. I’m going to cautiously proceed forward.
11.12.08 at 2:51 pm
Wait, this site has things on it other than BN posts?
11.12.08 at 2:54 pm
I must say, this is my favorite blognigger post.
11.12.08 at 2:56 pm
Ahahahaha, thanks blognigger.
11.12.08 at 2:56 pm
Our generation is already fucked, and this is where the gap lines will be drawn.
Just as the Me Generation jacked off on Mailer and Updike’s never-ending penis screeds, we will continue to wallow in the same Vice-eske banter until we actually *do* grow up (unlikely), or we stop being lazy (far more unlikely).
That is to say— Gavin will never be out of work. But it’ll still be funny to see our Big Cynical Laffs go the way of Beetle Bailey.
11.12.08 at 3:00 pm
call me a cynic, but won’t hipster cynicism cause them to agree with you? (see above) nihilism respects least of all itself.
11.12.08 at 3:01 pm
I’m literally like, shaking….
I love you SO much man. thank you….
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
11.12.08 at 3:10 pm
Blognigger in ‘12!
11.12.08 at 3:12 pm
I like the logic statement.
PS dont watch CNN, shit rots tha brain.
C-SPAN is where it’s at. Batshit crazy callers on washington journal in the morning= great way to start the day.
11.12.08 at 3:22 pm
Thank fuck for this post, and for calling Vane$$a out on all of the completely retarded shit she says.
Suck it, cunt.
11.12.08 at 3:29 pm
If you think hipsters are bad, you should hang around the rockabilly scene for six months or so. OY VEY!
11.12.08 at 3:30 pm
love
11.12.08 at 3:32 pm
“The Phish”? theyre almost as good as “The Sound Garden” or “The Guns and The Roses”
11.12.08 at 3:33 pm
re: The Phish
it’s a joke genius
11.12.08 at 3:38 pm
I always liked hipsters because the “scene” didn’t back any beliefs or motifs
11.12.08 at 3:41 pm
I like how everyone says, “Amerikkka somehow overcame it’s deep seated latent racism and elected a black man. It’s a miracle” but nobody says, “Shit, maybe America wasn’t so racist after all.”
11.12.08 at 3:45 pm
And another thing. Everyone has ALWAYS hated us. Tourists who went to Europe during Jimmy Carter days we constantly harassed about American Foreign Policy. Shit, the term “Ugly American” comes from 1950 motherfucking 8.
11.12.08 at 3:46 pm
just for the record it has been proven that Vane$$a is a dude – yes a dude – to show how much more retarded it/she/he/it is.
11.12.08 at 3:46 pm
@Sarah O Sarah – BEST POINTS YET.
Great post BN. Really the best. thanks.
11.12.08 at 3:50 pm
Until this post, I assumed BlogN was cooning. Now I love him.
11.12.08 at 3:54 pm
I think all Gavin was trying to say is: it’s a roll of the dice what happens because government is inherently incompetent and the IQ of the president is irrelevant. Reagan ended communism and boosted the economy and he was a Hollywood moron. Jimmy Carter was the sweetest man who ever lived and he nearly bankrupt the country. To be skeptical of the government machine is not nihilism, it’s refusing to believe the hype.
11.12.08 at 3:56 pm
Red you moron – Gavin said DON’T VOTE… how can you misinterpret that???
11.12.08 at 4:06 pm
Well done. You get to sit on the rickety chair.
11.12.08 at 4:09 pm
Red, That’s not what Gavin was trying to say at all. He’s as well-spoken as a negro with a bachelor’s. If he was trying to say what you think he was trying to say, he would have, but he didn’t. It’s great to be skeptical of Government, but be equally fucking skeptical of people who don’t care about anything. They don’t have your best interests in mind either.
11.12.08 at 4:09 pm
Ur smart and funny! oh yeah and honest, non delusional .. cool. I am so not trust funded!
11.12.08 at 4:27 pm
just wanted to point out that Ms. Lindsey Lohan has weighed in, with her usual eloquence, on the significance of the Obama victory: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,450347,00.html
11.12.08 at 4:32 pm
Uhhhh, you guys really thought this was great??? This was boring schlock, as are most of BN’s posts
11.12.08 at 4:41 pm
@tommy
what’s wrong with that?
11.12.08 at 4:41 pm
Trustfunded2: Wanna guess the problem?
Everyone is LAUGHING AT YOU.
You are what the joke is about and you are too stupid to understand why.
You’re the guy.
11.12.08 at 4:45 pm
If you care about the world then you have to love Obama! His presidency will fix everything and make poor people well of and violence cease and if you’re too “cool” to get that than you’re not really cool at all, are you?! ha ha you stupid hipsters will soon learn what it means to care because the new world order commands it
11.12.08 at 4:47 pm
wow. all I can say is wow. This is beyond brilliant.
I gotta take BN to a new level in my brain.
i would say fuck the haters, but there aren’t any. just vane$$a posting under a buncha different names.
11.12.08 at 4:52 pm
Good post. No reason we have to be assholes just because this is Streetboners & not, like, MoveOn.org.
11.12.08 at 4:56 pm
Why do people feel a NEED to be cynical? Did this essay just fly over your heads? Whats wrong with blind happiness? I feel the age old phrase “ignorance is bliss” has always rang true. What you guys are referring to as cynicism I always referred to in myself as mild depression (which may be equally as self-centered). I mean, yeah, in the last century there has been wars and a lot of big corporate companies are doing some pretty nasty things that are mostly fueled by greed. But doesn’t everyone excluding hipsters know that too?
People aren’t all they were cracked up to be in relation to our adolescent presumptions — so now we can never presume anything positively again? It makes us come across as pretty childlike in itself — “we’re so jaded, what we thought was gold was just a pile of shit.” Our culture or scene is based more upon being soft and unable to overcome common losses than we’d like to let on. Which is okay, feeling a level of depth over any matter isn’t wrong — high highs and low lows make people interesting.
I guess what I’m trying to say is when people are trying to be positive with this American election why rain on their parade? Just as BN said, cynicism doesn’t achieve shit — so yeah “Red”, we get what Gavin was trying to say but why did he even have to say it? It’s not going to achieve anything besides mild entertainment. If I could be happy all the time, if I could be “blindly” glad to wake up every morning — I would be. But I feel the cynicism is second nature, just something I can’t really control, or I’m too lazy to deal with it like an adult and get therapy. So I’m a pessimist with an acute sense of loss but I wish I wasn’t — I do my best to hide it. I guess thats what drew me to this “scene” in the first place, I thought everybody was concealing their mild depression by partying too hard and only letting it escape through some artistic outlet.
11.12.08 at 5:04 pm
BLOGNIG! – yer starting to get wack holmes…sorry to say. As for Barack’s big victory, I’m proud of my country for the first time in a long time…but like when my wife’s pissed at me, it takes a little more than a movie and some pelvic massaging before she’s done with hating my ass. The USA and Skinny B can do it tho dude. I think, naw, I hope, we could make something good out of this big belligerent dog of a nation. But the thing is BN, my cynicism doesn’t come from posturing, it comes from being well-informed. The country has been into some EVIL SHIT for a long time, pre-W, as I imagine you know. Not just overseas, but here, fucking up and exploiting its most vulnerable citizens for hundreds of years…but you know where I’m going with this. Alls I’m saying is that it’s not a pose to be cynical and hesitant to jump all over the USA’s dick cuz we elected Barack. In fact, your doing so (jumping all over the aforementioned metaphorical dick) is kind of a pose ain’t it – dude hasn’t even been sworn in…
11.12.08 at 5:09 pm
blognigger is like 22 billion times awsomer than sc so eff you fucks and hipster fags all suck and i will continue to read anyway due to a low tolerance for the infinite boredom i suffer as the result of working in front of a computer all day…..as a recap fuck you
11.12.08 at 5:12 pm
what if i am cynical and volunteering or practicing the great and sacred kantian altruism?
and does this mean that joan didion is a vacuous hipster?
http://jezebel.com/5083302/joan-didion-is-kind-of-a-downer-about-the-election
this little essay sounds a lot like the argument that people who expressed doubt in the face of government action during the opening salvos in the war on terror were traitors. you would do yourself a service by avoiding this kind of summary declaration. churning the waters as such might push up the view numbers now but relevance is fickle.
11.12.08 at 5:13 pm
i dont know why i come to this site i should just go straight to blognigger
11.12.08 at 5:17 pm
yeah you should – and you should get your own name too…
11.12.08 at 5:19 pm
You’ve got to anticipate a hipster backlash though… All across America, millions of hipsters are looking at the shepard fairey poster they paid 200 bucks to have framed and realizing that they’re in the position of die-hard, been-there-since-the-beginning U2 fans after “The Unforgettable Fire” was released.
11.12.08 at 5:24 pm
In ten years all these baby deer will morph into the most bitter, cynical generation this fine world has ever known.
11.12.08 at 5:40 pm
Randolphin: I think it’s pretty obvious by now Gavin likes to be a “provocateur” and I think his “don’t vote” shtick was to get across that the two party system is not ideal. If you read the whole thing you would have picked up on that.
11.12.08 at 5:41 pm
jhala, you’re right about well placed cyn. but cmon. gavin and the hipster credo was NOT TO VOTE CAUSE ITS GAY.
and how did bn jump on obama’s dick? all he said was that obama has already created hope for billions: that much is true, aint it?
11.12.08 at 5:44 pm
See, here’s the problem: cynicism isn’t always part of some strange pussy grabbing technique, sometimes it’s based on historical precedent. For example, do you really think that people who are willing to kill millions of innocent people for a second yacht are going to let a young black male threaten their stranglehold on the world? Even if Obama means what he says (and I genuinely hope he does) his victory isn’t a cue to shut the fuck up and hug each other. THAT’S what hippies did after they ’stopped Vietnam’ and they all became the scum of the earth they supposedly fought against. Don’t sit there and vainly hope that by voting for Obama you somehow did enough that you can pack up your misgivings and go on a holiday because that’s just as useless as the cynicism on the other end. The only reason a black man can be a president in 2008 is because of the action taken over the last fifty + years, not by politicians, but by regular people who decided to take the respect they weren’t given when they asked.
11.12.08 at 5:56 pm
hey -
before everyone gets too excited about obama ‘being president’ (ie: he’s not) can i just point out that its still 90-odd days left of bush being president, which means AND YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT THIS EVERYDAY that we are all one hair-trigger away from DICK CHENEY BEING PRESIDENT. OF THE WORLD. because he’s given himself that much power.
obama is not president yet. i like the dude, i shed a tear or whatever. the rule, not the exception, with these cats, is they get shot. i know it sucks but hey.
11.12.08 at 5:58 pm
dude you are just a selfish sex addict who can’t get it up enough to fuck his wife. You write really well but yes you’re a selfish, self-interested cunt (from meat-eating–>social darwinism). In this way you are typical of many Americans. Obama can’t save you lot from yourselves (I’m American living in the UK). But anyways… You obviously aren’t that selfish your posts help so many people survive man, myself included. So whatevs, don’t label us all a bunch of lazy, self-interested cunts, because we’re not, even if you say you are.
11.12.08 at 5:58 pm
Sarah o sarah, the point you made about america “maybe” not being that racist after was seriously the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. Really.
11.12.08 at 5:59 pm
Would you like to pen your own letter to Williamsburg? You can do so here, at http://Dear Williamsburg.tumblr.com. Send correspondence to dearwilliamsburg@gmail.com and join the fun!
11.12.08 at 6:00 pm
@julian masterson
“you lot” ???
you only LIVE in the uk but you’re american, right?
looks like you just proved one of bn’s points re: language faked
11.12.08 at 6:04 pm
So, to say the election is bullshit and you don’t trust Obama is to be a “nihilist” and think “nothing matters at all”? Why didn’t Chomsky get shit for saying that?
Obviously, if your job is documenting pop culture you must give a shit about the stuff you’re writing about otherwise, why bother? I didn’t vote because I live in NY State and it’s always Democrat but I was too scared to tell anyone because people were rabid about it here.
11.12.08 at 6:04 pm
Thanks for that…I feel as if I’ve been drowning in a sea of these kinds of people in New York…some sanity
11.12.08 at 6:06 pm
Palin 2012!!!
11.12.08 at 6:07 pm
Loomis:
-50 incomprehensible
11.12.08 at 6:11 pm
As an Obama enthusiast, I find this post pretty pathetic. First of all, “hipsters” is a group largely excited by the president elect, overall. I mean, the victory party that broke out on Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg was only one of the most vibrant and happiest ones in New York City. Lashing out against a whole group (if “hipsters” is even a real group) based on what ONE MEMBER of the group did or say is totally asshole behavior. It’s prejudice, which we need less of.
Also, I love Led Zeppelin and don’t like Stairway to Heaven. That’s not cynicism, that’s taste; it’s not because it’s a bad song, it’s because the other songs are way *better*. How is that cynicism? That’s pure love.
cynic |?sinik|
noun
1 a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or unselfish reasons
A dash of cynicism and skepticism is healthy, it’s only bad when cynicism comes in the way of living a fulfilling life. Anyway, this is a totally useless post.
11.12.08 at 6:15 pm
Yeah, good points. Not wanting to give the President a rim job AND reach around AND swallow (like all these die-hard sheep) and you are somehow branded you a Nihilist? I thinks its a bit normal to have healthy CYNICISM (YEAH I SAID IT) ABOUT THE FUCKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Next election wouldn’t it be cool if the love-child son of Bob Marley and Bob Dylan and whoever else is “awesome and nice” got elected.
11.12.08 at 6:17 pm
The gang of stationary hipster cynics serves a purpose just as the hippies loosely did. They’ll toss their parents money at every last cause…. Oh yeah, blow.
Have you considered delighting a crowd of eager minds with your cultural observations while sitting fireside whittling miniature animals from a hunk of teak? Admission may solve your financial woes.
11.12.08 at 6:17 pm
BUGSBARK:
YOU WERE TOLD REPEATEDLY TO STOP PROMOTING YOUR AWFUL BLOG
11.12.08 at 6:18 pm
@milky fattit: what?! maybe you’re talking about some other bugsbark.
11.12.08 at 6:22 pm
ahahaha bugsbark’s newb is newb
11.12.08 at 6:25 pm
The other night my mom was encouraging me to be careful of cynicism and to read Obama’s biography so that I could “understand” him. I felt weirded out, as I have lately, when people talk about Obama and other politicians outside of their role as politicians.
I think it’s psychological dissection is important in many cases but it feels totally inappropriate to have that sort of an intimate view/relationship with the president elect…I guess I think it’s weird the way politicians, namely Obama, are celebratized in this really shallow way–”Obama smokes CIGARETTES!”, “Obama has dreams from his father!!”. How fucking irrelevant. This isn’t humanizing, it’s a weird transmogrified version of reality television.
Not to be too cheesy-postmodern, but: Big Brother (from 1984)–Big Brother (the reality show where we watch the weird intimate trials and tribulations of strangers living in a house together)–Big Brother (The 2008 United States Presidential election where we watch the weird intimate trials and tribulations of strangers trying to become leaders of the free world). Did everyone know–Sarah Palin’s daughter’s babydaddy had a myspace?! He was a total gross bro and I would TOTALLY never voted for Mccain because, well, look at his running mate’s daughter’s babydaddy’s myspace. OH–and his policies are diametrically opposed to my values and his running mate is a fucking creepshow Minnie Mouse chart topping nut.
Someone above described hipsters as lacking empathy, but it’s not that I am lacking it. It’s that I don’t want to have that personal intimacy with a politician. Because thats what he is! Even if he’s a good one…he’s still a president of the United States–is a fucked up place that does fucked up things!! I mean…Bush may have been satanically bad but just because this eloquent, attractive, diplomatic, with it, dude-from-a-generation-not-the-babyboomer-generation is now the president doesn’t mean I suddenly am down with capitalism, or down with globalization, or down with imperialism, or down with the system in any way. Like the government? Trust the government? WTF YOU talkin’ bout, Blognigger?
Don’t tell me, “Love It or Leave It”, because there’s always “building the new within the shell of the old”…and that’s my adult-lifespan plan, but I certainly don’t have any delusions that Obama is on MY side, he’s just the less-ugly face of the same enemy. That’s why I don’t really want to empathize with the guy, to learn about his childhood and why he is the way he is, to learn to identify his psychological makeup, to learn to love him. I want him to be my president, and I respect him as such so many millions of iotas more than Bush (I can even say I am moved by his speech and wish him luck), and maybe if he gains my trust through repeated displays of good choices, I’d even say I like the guy. But I don’t feel that I need to empathize with him. It’s kind of a gross request, like asking a kid to find their father attractive as a man.
I am beginning to count the comparisons between Obama and FDR. It’s eerie. If that’s true, well, let’s all build dams to utilize some renewable resource, and create community art projects and rooftop gardens to feed the inner city populations. That’s fucking great. I’m totally 100% on board with not a lick of cynicism to taint my efforts. But I’d still not trust the government. In that scenario it’s all about relying on the community’s backbone and working together. More like, thanks for not being a TOTAL shithead in these fucking dire times (which were created by politicians), politician.
My mom keeps saying she feels like she woke up from a bad dream, she says it feels safe to listen to NPR while making dinner again. I don’t really get it, I think her hope is based on the assumption that that other guy was a two-term, eight-year fluke and now we can be proud to be Americans again. Actually, she said that. My cynicism is based in not being cynical but being extremely cautious about what basket I put my eggs in, and in the meantime, keepin’ on keepin’ on, doin’ my thang and wearing vintage t-shirts (hey, reduce, reuse, recycle, right?!), listening to The Ween and cussing about the mainstream with my crew of like-minded youths.
11.12.08 at 6:35 pm
oh bn
i really, loved this. gawker put you up and they’re confused.
11.12.08 at 6:37 pm
YES. Preach it.
11.12.08 at 6:38 pm
im with fuzzyduck. when obama won i felt patriotic for the first time since i was in grade school.
my generation (im 20) did most of their “maturing” during the bush years creating an ass load of cynics, jilted by politics. everyday i hated the administration more. all we know are the the lying ways of bushtown, usa. but now, i feel like something amazing is going to happen, and this cynicism will hopefully wash away. i can already feel it. it started the second obama’s election was announced. it was the first time i saw a group of hipsters optimistic and excited about anything! people were crying for gods sake!
11.12.08 at 6:48 pm
Please address gawktards at some point in the future, BN
11.12.08 at 6:51 pm
@a lady: you and the rest of the world. hence, the “hipster” premise in this post holds no ground.
11.12.08 at 6:53 pm
@Badtooth: I’ll tell you where the confusion is. The words “cynicism” and “hipster” are being misused throughout the post, apart from the fact “hipsterism” is not defined by politics. If the title were, OBAMA VICTORY RENDERS CYNICAL “MOVEMENT” OBSOLETE then it would make slightly more sense, although not total sense since there is no such “cynical MOVEMENT” in place at all, let alone “hipster movement”. Perhaps a modest title like OBAMA SHAKES UP CYNICISM would’ve been totally appropriate, sufficient, and true and un-douchebaggy.
11.12.08 at 7:00 pm
miss universe is cool but ween is a played out musical reference. now if you had been more specific and said that you were listening to 12 Golden Country Greats and wearing vintage t shirts, i would have said miss universe is the new angel who calls himself blognigger.
hipsters are the shills and i’m divorcing my parents. i hope ya’ll ladies have Clarks.
11.12.08 at 7:00 pm
bugsbark, you cant be this stupid.
bn is talking about GAVIN and his subjects. GAVIN said not to vote: THATS the hipster premise, you dolt.
11.12.08 at 7:03 pm
Hey, I can’t do anything but be myself. And I just got into Ween.
11.12.08 at 7:04 pm
ok i’m sorry i love you. it’s the hippie in me.
11.12.08 at 7:06 pm
a lady, I couldn’t agree with you more.
bn, I couldn’t agree with you.
And I don’t think Obama is making huge “save the world” promises. But is it so bad to have a president who at least cares about the middle class, the underpriviledged, education issues, foreign relations, and Afghanistan? He didn’t say he would save all of that, but he did say he would start paying more attention and working toward solutions.
I’m not cynical or overly excitable. But I love Obama.
11.12.08 at 7:07 pm
To Sarah O Sarah:
America wasn’t racist after all? Are you completely retarded? Holy FUCK.
11.12.08 at 7:13 pm
@Check is out fellas + Sarah O Sarah
Ima quote my parents again and say: my Southern father sleepily told me after Obama’s speech on election night that he thinks it’s the tendency of people in his generation (he cited his civil-rights marching and the shit he got in with his racist family/community as street cred) to think of the Obama presidency as “The Culmination Of The Civil Rights Movement”. It might have been the Klonopins talking but my dad told me that isn’t happening until we all have “beautiful brown babies”. Anyway it helped me understand the way boomers were swooning for Obama, because it was different than the way other demographics swooned. It’s like–maybe this makes up for the 40 acres and a mule? Please? Can we just get post-racial and forget about that whole mess already? It wasn’t OUR fault–WE didn’t own slaves–WE’RE not racist! SEE! Our president is BLACK, for goodness sakes! I think this is somehow connected with the blind hope in Obama. Like……is being skeptical of Barack Obama racist? Better play it safe and believe in a better tomorrow via “becoming inspired by government”.
I still want to ask what I can do for my country, and do it (what the fuck else am I going to devote my life to…dot coms? The future is now and it’s trying to screech to a halt and switch directions before we march straight into the maw of destruction) but I doubt I am going to apply to work for the Obama administration, at least not if I want to “make a difference in real life”.
11.12.08 at 7:35 pm
daniella, you must be from gawker: you’re so stupid, you dont even realize you’re agreeing with bn.
11.12.08 at 7:39 pm
Dang, Blogcolored. Now I’m all cynical again as my patriotism is melting off like the pounds on those fatties on The Biggest Loser. Not that I wasn’t proud and happy and such but given the American attention span, I’m already forgetting who this Obama fellow was. Oh yeah, the dark. What’s next?
Scary thing is from top (Barack) to bottom (door-knockers), the Obama Klan actually believes its shit (unlike McCain and def unlike Hillary or Rudy or Mitt or any of those other sacks). As campaign hack Alyssa said about the Obama Klan, “Oh, my God, these guys are serious!”
Thanks for keeping us straight, Blognigger.
11.12.08 at 7:41 pm
i love americans. i am not one myself, but i love each and every one of you. you guys are the best.
11.12.08 at 7:55 pm
Why the picture of Drop Dead Fred? Is it because he’s cynical?
11.12.08 at 7:55 pm
Everything Randolphin said.
11.12.08 at 8:29 pm
miss universe makes a valid point: why is having a little healthy skepticism of THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD so bad/uncool/gay.
and if he’s suddenly going to change things, whose to say his changes won’t lead to massive fucked-up problems in the future? until our country is no longer a hegemon, i will reserve the right to be extremely wary of the federal government and the president.
at the end of the day, we still need some cynics among us, especially considering how many people seem to be fawning over this guy; this is probably all part of my own personal cassandra complex, but i think the obama cult of personality has the potential for a hilariously ironic ending, one of historic proportions.
and no, not because he’s black.
11.12.08 at 9:25 pm
I fucking hate vane$$a…
11.12.08 at 9:27 pm
I fucking hate vane$$a
11.12.08 at 9:30 pm
All of you who are stroking yourselves over how wonderful you are to have elected BO and “spread hope to billions” (any proof of that BN? Fuck no. You just made it up) should enjoy it while it lasts. You have 90 days to pat yourselves on the back. After that, every little kid in Iraq that gets blown apart by US soldiers will be on your head. Every wedding party in Afghanistan that gets incinerated (you’ll start calling it “collateral-damage” in three months just like the Bushies did) will be on your head. Every time you see someone raging against the USA for killing their family, it will be you, personally, that they are raging at. They will hate you for the rest of their lives because you voted for the man that is continuing to bomb the shit out of their country for some bullshit reasons.
The president has the power to end combat in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Somalia and Pakistan with a stroke of a pen. You just voted for someone who has pledged not to end any of it. Get ready to start justifying the “war on terror” that you just spent years bitching about, because, thanks to your vote, it will continue.
Are you mad that Bush is spying on you? Are you a little concerned that by using signing statements the executive branch has reduced the power of the Congress to make laws? Do you think the recent financial bailout for Wall Street is a load of shit? In ninety days you will be a full throated supporter of all of the above, since you voted for a dude who will little if anything to stop any of it.
11.12.08 at 9:38 pm
EVERYTHING BETWEEN BLOGNIGGER’S POST AND THIS COMMENT IS GREASY VAGINAL JUICE THAT SMELLS LIKE SUN-BAKED RAW TUNA AND GYM SOCKS.
I LOOKED INTO OBAMA’S EYES AND I SAW FOUR LETTERS, H-O-A-P.
I WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL.
11.12.08 at 9:39 pm
Here hear har! Some of these hipsters hide their conservative politics behind a veil of sarcasm and supposed humor. When you hear people constantly espousing Pat Buchanan’s beliefs “ironically”, you eventually have to question just how ironic they’re really being. Lets not forget that Mr. supposed Uber-Nihilist Gavin Mcinnis wrote a surprisingly earnest article in “The American Conservative” entitled “Hip to Be Square: It’s getting cooler to be conservative”. Not such an ironic title there. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think everyone who wears (what is it these days?) um, an ironic tee is a right wing douche, but a lot of hardcore hipsters like McInnis are really nothing more than frat boys/ sorority girls who listen to better music. The self centeredness, the machismo, the small town white boy asshole flavored conservatism, the drinkiness/drugginess, its all there, and its just as repulsive as a bunch of frat brothers getting blotto and paddling each other in the Florida State chapter of Alpha Alpha Sigma. Just cause they’re listening to DMB doesn’t make them fundamentally different from a lot of these Williamsburg white boys.
11.12.08 at 9:49 pm
How gay. Easily the gayest post ever on any website. You stupid clowns ever heard of Rahm Israel Emmanuel? Hhaahhaahaha change indeed. I’d encourage you dumbfucqs to buy gold and silver, but i think i’d prefer to see you rot when GM and Bear Sterns officially go under. HAHAHAHAHA
11.12.08 at 9:57 pm
Whoa Whoa, who is the moron talking shit about my magazine?? Point me to ANY magazine that has been more consistently anti-war, anti-Bush, Pro-civil liberties and pro-economic freedom than mine? Hmmmmm?? New Republic? The Nation? HAHAHAHA.
It really is too bad that you art majors are unable to grasp anything relating to politics other than the fact that you are anti-racist. How quaint. How perfectly braindead.
BTW, if you do have some semblance of a brain left, and if you do not believe race is the be-all and end-all as pertains to politics, please check me out. It’s free. I promise i won’t make you straight or make you stop doing drugs or force you to wear a suit to work or even liking gay bullshit like Hold Steady or CSS.
http://www.amconmag.com
11.12.08 at 10:13 pm
disregard that; I suck cocks.
11.12.08 at 10:17 pm
I guess I’m a trendy nihilist because I found that post extremely fucking stupid. Sorry, but its going to take more than bullshit hype to get me to jump onto your cute bandwagon.
I voted for Obama, and I did so without embracing the illusion that you guys are all so enamored with. Pull your heads out of your asses, to support one of the most powerful humans on earth and do so without questioning any of his actions is extremely naive. It isn’t a matter of cynicism being hip or not, its common fucking sense. This is bigger than your silly little subculture club.
As others have noted, lets wait 2 years and then talk.
11.12.08 at 10:18 pm
Ah this whole place is overrun with Gawker faggots!
Get the fuck outta here you goddamn queers!!! Cover your asses, here come the Gawker punjab cocks.
Anonymous 10:18 – what POST are you reading?!? Where did BN say anything like “support Obama without asking questions”
You are getting all this info from the horrible unfounded gawker article which did no research!!
YOU LOVE COCK! LEAVE!
11.12.08 at 10:21 pm
The American Conservative & Dear Williamsburg
YOU WERE TOLD REPEATEDLY TO STOP PROMOTING YOUR AWFUL BLOG
11.12.08 at 10:22 pm
buy gold!!!!!!!!!!
11.12.08 at 10:25 pm
There is not a fine line between healthy skepticism and hanging up 9/11 truth movement posters. I REPEAT, there is NOT a fine line. Continue.
Also, does anyone think if Matt Taibbi and BN joined forces they could create the most amazing, no bullshit magazine on the face of the earth? I’ orgasm.
11.12.08 at 10:37 pm
http://dearwilliamsburg.tumblr.com
11.12.08 at 10:39 pm
MMM, dear god shutup. The president doesn’t have that power, please reread the constitution. Also, there are some places we shouldn’t pull out of. We should put more troops in Afghanistan. Fucking Taliban throwing acid in little girls eyes because they went to school, and you want to pull out and let them rule? When will people understanding that being humane and isolationism are NOT mutually exclusive.
11.12.08 at 10:40 pm
Holy SHIT Gawker -
Can ANYONE from your fucking site READ?!?
READ the fucking post before criticizing BN’s viewpoint – 75% of the people who think they disagree don’t even understand BN’s point.
The Gawker article reads like a fucking vaudville pratfall.
BLOGNIGGER never says that being critical and analytical is bad you fucking asshats!
He’s talking about severe hipster apathy like McInnis telling people not to vote. Get a fucking clue!
11.12.08 at 10:47 pm
“Funny shit to write”
11.12.08 at 10:48 pm
There is a difference between hating Obama because everyone like him, and actually calling him out on his shit. Most of the comments don’t seem to realize this.
Ill admit that I misunderstood BN. In that vein, I didn’t misunderstand the dumbshit comments, and although BN never said “support Obama without asking questions”, a lot of the comments basically did.
Also, I know I’m not hip enough to put the word “native” in my name, but that doesn’t make me a gawker fag. That just makes you a plain fag. I have been here for probably at least as long as you. Congratulations cocksucker.
11.12.08 at 10:56 pm
@Anonymous 10:18
“I’ll admit I misunderstood BN” = “I admit I didn’t read the FUCKING article and shot my mouth off anyway.”
Not even a downsyndrome deaf freak could misunderstand this post if they read it. Dumbshit.
At least you admit failure tho, props.
11.12.08 at 11:00 pm
Let me elaborate what I meant by misunderstood.
I read the article, and had the impression that BN had basically implied near all cynicism directed towards Obama is nothing but hipster bullshit. After I had read it again, I realized it wasn’t that. I stretched it a bit and I’m admitting I did it.
I still stick by my first post though, even though it may not be true for BN’s post, I consider it true when directed at 99% of these fucking comments.
11.12.08 at 11:12 pm
This is brilliant brave and true. It has inspired me to lie around doing nothing while talking a big game although come to think of it that’s not much of a change… BUT NOW at least I have a contemporary script — I’ll be stealing blognigger’s whole trip and using the magic vibra-jujube of blogniggers nuanced sophisticated good for nothing layaboutism ( “you good people over there, though I am useless, I can see that you are rockin’ — CARRY ON… good show”) I will cause hipster chicks to think quietly to themselves, “if he weren’t so old and fat, I’d fuck him” — small consolation you say, for an old fat layabout — hah, shows what you know… it doesn’t get better… erm, sadly…
11.12.08 at 11:20 pm
original BN fan here, and I give big props to ddf 11:12 for admitting his mistake…
you’re a stand-up guy
11.12.08 at 11:32 pm
Man, don’t buy gold, you can’t eat that shit. The best thing I can think of about the “financial crisis” is that maybe no one will ever believe in that system again. I hope it collapses so hard that we decide to upgrade to a different model. I hope the economy is truly fucked. So gold couldn’t help us. Gold is shitty, our dollar doesn’t even have the gold standard anymore it’s just metal and paper, but even if it did I think that sucks. I think we should have the barter system, and general stores. It’s a lot scarier version of what the world could look like when we run out of oil, I guess. I think we should remember that the government isn’t just a tool of imperialism and there are many fucked up things going on in this country, that we are headed into some scary times. He knows it, too, Obama…He managed to mention the darkest fucking times in his acceptance speech: the depression, the DUST BOWL?!, etc….anyway all I’m saying is: invest in hemp. Buy weed. Stop circulating money in the formal economy because it’s just keeping the sad old thing wheezing along.
11.12.08 at 11:33 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnLvP57UWh8
Y’all should watch this video. It’s about Cuban rooftop gardens. I think a lot about that kind of thing when I think about the future of this country without oil and global hegemony and how the fuck we’re going to eat when our apples are imported (using gasoline) from New Zealand. I think when people imagine running out of oil they think of commuting to work or something but what about how the industrial agricultural monster’s veins are totally pumped with the stuff? WTF, you guys!!! This is what I mean you should invest in hemp. Invest in some skill that will serve you well when it falls apart. That skill is NOT screen printing or txting or making mix cds, btw.
11.12.08 at 11:47 pm
This essay is obscenely good. Anyone saying it “sucks” in these comments are the absolute definition of hipster pretension.
Seriously, this is impressive shit.
11.12.08 at 11:49 pm
Did blognigger officially quit writing on StreetCarnage? FUCK!!! NO! Did he? Because if he did, that means that Gavin wrecked the best thing on this site. I’m sad. Help.
11.13.08 at 12:09 am
Wow, well point.
I thought Gavin’s post on election night “We did it you guys! We saved the world with Obama’s Awesomeness” (I’m paraphrasing here of course) was some kind of weird watershed moment. There was almost a slight whiff of desperation- the cool kids whose attention he had held for over a decade found something cooler.
Gavin takes credit as being “the architect of the hipster movement”
fine.
He can keep that.
But suddenly the whole notion of hipsterdom seems incredibly dated.
I’ve often wondered how sincerity, dedication and genuineness could ever trump the irony and aloofness of the hipster movement.
It seems like people are genuinely excited about Obama, not just the man, but everything he embodies.
Maybe the times are simply calling for something new, I can’t predict the future as it takes shape, but I can tell you this- Gavin and the Empire he built out of snickering complacency seem incredibly dated. Old news.
Don’t get me wrong, I always did and still do think Gavin is funny, but its time to hang up your hat.
Fuck not caring.
11.13.08 at 12:21 am
fuck it.
God, I wish obama would paint my face with his thick gooey ropes of hope and change.
11.13.08 at 12:31 am
hooray!!!
11.13.08 at 12:33 am
i have no fucking idea whats going on any where in this post or this thread. i only voted for obama cuz he doesn’t shot wolves out of airplanes r have a pregnant retard baby so europe won’t make fun of us. .I also hate self professed hipsters cuz everyone knows ur only cool if u don’t (or pretend to) not know it. theres my two euro cents.
11.13.08 at 12:36 am
Can we all at least agree that “Chachi and the Boy Meets Worlds” is the best name in the history of anything ever.
11.13.08 at 1:06 am
haha – gavin mcinnis fucked around and made the best site on the internet, again.
11.13.08 at 1:24 am
youth movement queef and miss universe: you missed the point.
What does skepticism achieve? SO what, you aren’t all in on a new president — that doesn’t change shit for shit. What if he decided to wage a new uneeded war tommorow — would your skepticsm change that outcome? No. It just makes everyone bummed out. The whole point of the article was to show how hippies and hipsters aren’t doing shit for the world. Do these points really just fly over your heads?
11.13.08 at 1:51 am
Great, great post.
11.13.08 at 1:54 am
Don’t give Gavin all the credit for making this the greatest site on the internets. It was all of us, together. We’re so great. I love us.
11.13.08 at 2:00 am
if you ever need a blowjob pls contact at website address provided
11.13.08 at 2:09 am
meh, obama wont change a damn thing. call me whatever you want, but i will be able to say i told you so in 4 years.
11.13.08 at 2:22 am
If that was the point of the article, then what was the POINT of the article? Skepticism lacks utility? The chic of indifference doesn’t have the appeal it used to? Move aside, because there’s a new cultural movement acomin’? Your inaction is like, so not conducive to action.
I’m a pawn, and I fucking realize it. BN usually hits the nail on the head with his posts, but this one, like the apathy he’s giving the finger to doesn’t seem to have much of a point.
Apathy does make a difference. It keeps me from going batshit crazy. It keeps uninformed (or incredibly naive people) from participating in government, and ultimately going batshit crazy. It can even prevent ridiculously horrific shit from going down (see cult of personality).
call it neurotic, cynical, whatever. the fact of the matter is that things probably aren’t going to magically change for the better because we voted for this guy. at the end of the day, he’s a politician.
and if i end up working for the government, which is a strong possibility, it’s not going to be so that i can make a difference. it’ll be for a motherfucking paycheck.
11.13.08 at 2:39 am
hemp will replace cereal.
11.13.08 at 2:58 am
I’m sitting in my underwear listening to Everything Went Black. My mum pays the rent.
11.13.08 at 3:04 am
does this mean BN quits writing for this site?
11.13.08 at 3:17 am
THIS is Street Carnage the way it should be. No fucking lazy, boring-ass, look-at-me hangover pictures and no saying “nigger” should be used ironically but not in front of black people because they just don’t get irony. I don’t actually agree with a lot of this post, but it’s innovative and sharp. I do agree that hipster culture (like hippie culture) has become a culture of critisizing but refusing to actually contribute anything. And I’m glad someone here said that.
11.13.08 at 3:32 am
tl;dr
11.13.08 at 4:01 am
this is an okay post but you totally said “actionable worldview”
11.13.08 at 4:28 am
Bravo… Way to see the forest through the trees, and justifiably insult your target demographic with the precise impunity that we admire.
Remember: you’re a jerkoff. – probably the most prescient statement in the whole post.
11.13.08 at 4:40 am
I still talk with an American accent. I say “cell phone” instead of “mobile,” tomato instead of “tomahto” I say “you lot” because it’s a more economical and less ghetto sounding way of saying “y’all”, “you guys” or some other such not as effective expression for describing “you lot.”
11.13.08 at 5:39 am
P.S. Vane$$a was already famous. She didn’t need BN.
11.13.08 at 5:40 am
@ The American Conservative and others.
a) I’m not some Gawker troll, I live in the heart of darkness on Seatle’s capitol hill district and Ive read SB for a long time.
b) You know, I have no problem with people honestly making a case for conservatism. But this this whole hipster ethos is evil because it is at its core a rejection of seriousness. It posits that serious debate about real issues is a stupid and worthless endeavor. If you want to argue for conservatism then great! I will listen to you and disagree with you loudly! But just saying “fuck everything and everyone” just doesn’t cut it when we’re facing Great Depression 2, two foreign wars, and a million other serious problems. Serious problems require serious philosophy, and “hipsterism” is sorrowfully short of the challenge.
11.13.08 at 6:04 am
@julian lennon
ha ha! made you explain yourself. you fail.
you shoulda just said “fuck you faggot.”
11.13.08 at 6:14 am
On about 5 different levels, Blognigger is brilliant here, and this is clearly the most brilliant post ever to be on streetcarnage.
You’re right – Gavin created the best site on the internet: by discovering and hiring blognigger.
11.13.08 at 6:22 am
“neo-cynics have a twelve inch penis growing out of their foreheads and thus can’t see shit since the balls are in their eyes.”
hahahahaha
11.13.08 at 6:34 am
Hipsterism is, as Wolfgang Pauli said, not even wrong.
11.13.08 at 6:39 am
@Drippy Dog Dix and Cum Bubbles or something
click his link man – that whole thing is about Carver’s wife
11.13.08 at 7:27 am
Randolphin: Nah, buddy, you missed my point. And what exactly are you arguing? Take it one step further: you can’t change anything because everything that matters (i.e. foreign wars, i guess…?) is controlled by the all powerful Government and so–why be blue about it? Might as well jump on the posi-core bandwagon, throw caution to the wind cause fuck it!, especially after those eight years of the worst president EVERRR.
I disagree with you on two counts: 1. I think you can be cheerfully skeptical–I love life and I’m not bummed about everything: I really dig the sun and my space heater and making shit and doing things.
and 2. who says I’m not doing shit for the world? Who says you are? Shit’s subjective, man. Cause we all are. But, um. Anyway. I’m not all in on the new president, I’m also not all in on shitting on him. I’m just saying I ALWAYS don’t trust the president. Thats what my lifetime of experience has taught me. I was bred in the briar patch, man. Bush has been an 8 year training on how to recognize the enemy. Haven’t you heard all about a well informed populace and didn’t you see the bumper stickers next to the Kerry/Edwards ones that say “dissent is patriotic”?? What–Love it or leave it?! Well, Legalize! Oh, come on…These colors don’t run…is that all you got?
11.13.08 at 7:42 am
How did this conversation get from the original post:
–Blognigger slams on people for saying “fuck it, i’m not voting cause it’s all bullshit”
to a fictional lie made up by someone who couldn’t/didn’t/wouldn’t read blognigger’s post:
–Blognigger SAYS ANYONE WHO DOESN’T TRUST THE PRESIDENT IS AN ASSHOLE
11.13.08 at 8:00 am
Y o Y chill ppl chill. The good things about BN’s post havent even been touched upon, its just some long thread about hope and Obama. What about how exacting he was about why we all become parts of scenes? That was the good part.
11.13.08 at 9:53 am
WTF is up with that Goofis bitch? We should have MORE troops in Afghanistan because they throw acid on girls that go to school? Ok, well let’s just take roll call of every fucked up policy every fucked up group of people do in this entire world and send our fucking world police to every inch of the planet instead of FAVORING COUNTRIES THAT HAVE OIL PIPELINES.
idiot.
11.13.08 at 10:05 am
Ahhhh, let’s all cry a cesspool for the poor narcissistic victim of narcissism and his narcissistic rage. Trust me when I tell you that although Obama (aka human Viagra for the anti-virile set) might do many things for you, he will never be able to give you a working johnson or an interesting mind. Your legacy will be the legacy of the zero. Shouldn’t you be in an MFA program at some broke dick state college, playing the part of the “edgy guy?”
And once again, is it really necessary for you to write all that shit as an excuse to get in your bush league rabbit punch at the bitter end? Ugh. This is the last time I acknowledge you and your flaccid drawers.
11.13.08 at 10:21 am
obvious troll is obvious
11.13.08 at 10:55 am
touring police, I cited that as a specific example, not as the end all, be all of the situation. And yes, we should have never invaded Iraq and placed more troops in Afghanistan from the start to keep out those wacky pakis.
11.13.08 at 10:57 am
The author and his jive ass message obviously originate in the skull of an Atlanta, Ga. honky deluxe.
11.13.08 at 11:48 am
miss universe – I don’t know what you can do for your country, but I have a few idears what you can do for Tommy!
11.13.08 at 11:56 am
How the hell does being cynical get you pussy as you so delicately put it. I must be doing something wrong.
11.13.08 at 1:00 pm
vanessa is a man from ohio and hater is mulatto. HA.HA!
i love it man.
11.13.08 at 1:20 pm
vanessa is a man from ohio and hater is a mulatto. HA.HA!
i love it man.
11.13.08 at 1:20 pm
Jive Ass Messenger is Vane$$a. And, yes, it’s a guy who also calls himself “Tony Badassassino.”
11.13.08 at 2:03 pm
Fuck you. I will once and for all prove that I am not a guy by sending a nude pic to Gavin. The onus will then be on him to prove the doubters wrong on my behalf. Of course, since I hold a prestigious position in the world of business, I will be unable to show my face.
11.13.08 at 2:10 pm
good job summarizing my feelings, BN. too bad nothing can be said to make the vane$$a collective stay away.
11.13.08 at 3:29 pm
Bullshit. There is a difference between being cynical and actually opposing certain government actions. It’s the difference between assuming something is bullshit and knowing exactly why something is bullshit. Yeah, it’s meaningless if you don’t do anything about it, but ranting about it on a stupid website is sometimes all you can do.
I don’t like the idea of Obama extending the War on Terror further, or of huge bail outs, or of compulsory “civil defense” youth brigades. I don’t want government taking over healthcare.
I’m not cynical because I assume they won’t work or something, I know that I’m opposed to them on principle.
It’s retarded to conflate that kind of real criticism with “cynical hipsters who somehow think they matter.”
11.13.08 at 3:59 pm
If there is one singular group of people I simply cannot stand, it is the hipster. From the idiotic tattoos to the lips rings and gauged-out earlobes, to the flannel shirts and “ironic” trucker hats, I have never met a group so ostensibly devoted to “individualism” so selfishly mired in conformity.
One particular subset of these cretins in my town is the bike messenger. The bike messenger is the lowest form of hipster. Careening through traffic, running over pedestrians, riding on sidewalks, they constantly complain about nearly getting hit by this bus or that taxi, and making no money whatsoever.
Ummm, how about obeying a few simple traffic laws? Maybe not blowing through that red light? How about getting a real job? You know, one that any idiot can’t do? One that doesn’t involve Presta valves, inner tubes or packing tape?
And if you’re so goddamn poor, how is it you have all that ink all over yourself? Or that $2500 Bianchi? Maybe if you showed a little finacial foresight, and say, DIDN’T get ANOTHER Che Guevara t-shirt or a $300 bag, you’d be able to afford a little more than $2 PBRs and a vermin-infested apartment you share with nine roommates.
Idiots.
11.13.08 at 4:10 pm
oh my wheezing bagpipe vagina. oooh
11.13.08 at 4:43 pm
@beeline:
You’re just one oozing bundle of generalization, irony and cynicism! Either you’re completely self-unaware or a brilliant troll.
11.13.08 at 5:09 pm
Haha Vane$$a is famous but does that giv her the right to spout off about “prestigious positions within the business world”?
Which positions are those, Vane$$a; on your back or on your knees, hmm? Doesn’t matter does it, because it’s prestigious. And you work prodigiously at your position as well.
jus sayin
11.13.08 at 7:35 pm
god, it’s shit like this that makes me hate the internets.
11.13.08 at 8:09 pm
hahaha – the reason people get so mad at the whole ‘hipster’ thing, and this makes me love it, is because they just have no idea what it is and it makes them ANGRY. like “IM supposed to be cool goddam it, who do these kids think they are?!” a lot of people make their living off telling companies whats cool and whats not cool and how to market their brands better and know whats cool and whats not etc, and then along come these goddam so called ‘hipsters’ who ruin their whole scam because aging cougars who work in marketing are EXCLUDED from the whole thing. i love it. ive never been cool enough to be part of the whole thing, but i love that these kids come along and totally fuck over everything with their obscure fashion. its like punks in the fashion world, i dont know or give a flying fuck what theyre doing, but i like the fact that theyre there. they make parties look better.
god bless the super fashionable idiot teenagers, i love em.
williamsburg, wayfarers, skinny jeans, ten speeds, floppy hair, the whole 9 yards. its not my problem and i fucking love it.
i just drank so much coffee it tastes like somebody shit in my mouth
11.13.08 at 8:23 pm
yeah: “remember – you’re a jerkoff” i screengrabbed that and its going on my wall
fantastic advice
11.13.08 at 8:25 pm
[...] November 14, 2008 by Kaitlin The Hipster punk blog entry that changed the world. Here’s my favorite quote from it. You can find the entry en total on Street Boners and TV Carnage. [...]
11.13.08 at 10:43 pm
Pretty good post, but some of the commenters are ass-hats.
shut up about hipster culture being a culture of cynicism. i mean, that’s such a boring generalization. Most people are a combination of cynic, scaredycat, optimist, altruist, and selfish dongsucker. The easiest, and stupidest most pointless thing to do IN THE WORLD, aside from raping food, is criticize a “culture” for it’s general failings. Guess what those general failings are… they are HUMAN CHARACTERISTICS.
anyway, whatever, who cares… purplenurples are the new ratslaps
11.13.08 at 10:48 pm
Anyone who can wax bullshit so extensively about hipsters does not require Viagra to get it up for hipsters.
11.14.08 at 12:16 am
I think I have a preference for the Church of the Sub-Genius. This shit is like…I don’t know…Bob Dobbs, Jr., but instead of promising chicks and money, it promises community service. It’s the irascible former child-star and son of a semi-urbane celebrity. I suppose I can glean a temporary love for that, but I’ll live to scratch a nasty case of herpes for me troubles. As long as you’re identifying shills, why don’t you admit that nearly every form of human being is shillesque, excepting the rarified true believer. Write an Encyclopedia of Shillage 2008. There’s an idea. It will be the truest message of the true. Tell us how everyone is a shill, admit that every dusty, roach infested corner is in a state of blanket cynicism relieved by weed (praise it). Get over your dogma. Hope is D-E-A-D…DEAD!!! Are you operating in the web of irony? I always forget about operating in the web of irony.
11.14.08 at 1:01 am
That sounds really cool! Let’s put on our tie-dyes, smoke some bongs, and listen to “The Phish!”
11.14.08 at 1:04 am
“The truth is that Badassassino loves all ladies and all ladies love him in return”
11.14.08 at 5:42 am
I’ve never done coke homie. I’m quite cynical. I get pussy 1 out of 20 tries, and 85% of NYC voted for Obama. Wha do you want?
11.14.08 at 1:53 pm
Remember electroclash!?
11.14.08 at 6:28 pm
@sarah o sarah
you are a complete idiot.
america’s hated by other countries for valid reasons: theyre powerful, and less powerful countries are jealous but also because america’s made a shit load of mistakes.
maybe america wasn’t racist to begin with?
where the fuck have you been, douchebag?
11.14.08 at 10:41 pm
“ballsy and true. im a hipster chick and i would fuck him.
obama!!!!”
you’re the type of idiot he was making fun of.
11.18.08 at 4:27 pm
this article meant nothing
11.19.08 at 7:45 pm
[...] know cynicism was supposed to have been rendered obsolete with Barack Obama’s election, but I can’t help but notice that Springsteen’s new [...]
11.21.08 at 9:31 pm
I just read an article in NOW Magazine – Toronto , here: http://www.nowtoronto.com/lifestyle/story.cfm?content=166405\
The article is extremely lame btw !
It heavily quotes this essay !
and according to it BloggNigger is ” Robert Dobbs Jr., a blogger and self-described hipster who lives in Brooklyn (ground zero for hipster cool) ”
WTF BN so are you a 30 something hand-jobs loving software engineer with 2 kids or a “self-described hipster” !
and WTF “self-described hipster” even means !
12.16.08 at 11:23 am
[...] This sentiment was shared by 0 hipsters in the world (not even at this site – see David – see Blognigger) but somehow they get this reputation as, “Totally over it, man.” This is because out-of-touch [...]
12.16.08 at 10:17 pm
[...] steer the free world anymore, the disillusionment isn’t really justified, hence ”Obama Victory Renders Hipster ‘Movement’ Obsolete“: an essay by the ever-hip blog-machine Blognigger for Gavin McInnes’s website, Street [...]
12.18.08 at 2:22 pm
So, like, NOW Toronto picked this up, then we picked it up on our blog and ran with it too. You can read more reaction action here: http://thetragicallyunhip.com/2008/12/18/end-of-the-hipster-hmm.
12.18.08 at 2:46 pm
[...] weekly, NOW Magazine, declared to its readers that Hipsters are obsolete, parroting the call of BlogNGR on streetbonersandtvcarnage who opined that the recent Democratic victory in the U.S. meant the end of the hipster [...]
01.17.09 at 12:52 pm
i got here by searching for “fuck everything and everyone”.
01.15.10 at 4:17 am
Blognigger, you’re so far up your own ass, you don’t know up from down. Fuck, you are stupid. You think you know something, and you think you’re in a position to know who’s a shill and who isn’t. Fuck, you are stupid. When you finally realise how fucking clueless you’ve been, I hope it’s not to late to do something about it. Fucking dumber than worm shit. Really.
04.16.10 at 5:10 pm