Despite the PLEADING of 90% of the our readership, we WILL be accepting entries for the 2nd SBTVC open mic session this weekend. It starts now, so get crackin.
Why are we doing it again when everyone HATES it so much? We’re doing it again for one simple reason: because it’s fucking THERAPY for our writing staff. I can’t tell you how great it is to watch you loudmouth jerkoffs write such horrible swill and then get your asses torn out like a bunch of Mexican dogfighters. Why didn’t I think of this shit years ago?
This whole situation reminds me of how I scream at the television while I’m watching Mariano Rivera blow the Yankees’ lead in the bottom of the ninth inning:
Pitch the fucking ball! Just get that shit over thr plate! The FUCK is wrong with you ya little wetback bastard? YOU SUCK!
An SBTVC open mic weekend is like giving Mariano Rivera the chance to pull my spastic ass through the TV, put me in pinstripes, and watch the crowd scream for my head as I pitch the ball into the stands.
Bottom of the ninth inning, faggots; who wants the fucking ball?
Send open mic entries to sbtvc AT streetcarnage.com
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STREET BONER 1118
Just to be clear, this is not a hole in her tights. It’s a hole in the ass-time continuum that will swallow your entire paycheck if you go near it.
Bad Behavior has blocked 6542 access attempts in the last 7 days.
you suck
05.01.09 at 12:19 pm
i can’t wait to send mine iN….it gonna be the getty burg address YO! but less gay.
05.01.09 at 12:44 pm
Hey, fuck you buddy! I got a lot of positive responses to mine, BN! Though I freely admit it was a pile of shit.
If I think of something to write about I’ll send it in.
05.01.09 at 12:51 pm
Yeah, you’re right. I’m not good enough to have my name in lights at Streetcarnage. Now that I’ve finally realized that, I’m going to dedicate my taking a dump writing time to meticulously critiquing every one of blognigger’s posts from an embittered perch. I’ll post my thoughts in the comments section.
05.01.09 at 12:51 pm
Oh! Wat does it all mean!?
I am gonna be sending mine in soon.
Regards.
05.01.09 at 1:14 pm
this is fucking terrible
05.01.09 at 1:19 pm
i dont have time for this shit. see you monday.
05.01.09 at 1:20 pm
“90% of the readership” = Vane$$a
05.01.09 at 1:22 pm
If I’m going to read someone’s shitty writing, I want them to at least know Chloe Sevigny and David Cross.
05.01.09 at 1:34 pm
I don’t know Chloe Sevigny but my entry is at least as hacky as Big Love. Maybe more so.
05.01.09 at 2:46 pm
ha ha that’s funny
05.01.09 at 2:59 pm
edgar shine, you’ve got HELL of sass. ilu.
05.01.09 at 3:16 pm
Confession Time: I’m in love with Vane$$a.
05.01.09 at 3:38 pm
wanna know how to make a killing? sell surgical masks on eBay
05.01.09 at 4:10 pm
yawn
05.01.09 at 4:26 pm
“our writing staff”
05.01.09 at 4:45 pm
Time to up the meds.
05.01.09 at 7:05 pm
Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer of all time. Calm down.
05.02.09 at 5:24 am
Open mic is the best ever!
I can not get enough of it!
More please! please! PLEASE! PPPPPPLLLLLLEEEEEAAASSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lovin it.
05.02.09 at 7:39 am
i’ve been pretty pleased w/open the mic offerings. i think most are doing as good a job, if not better, than the regulars. plus, it’s a really decent thing to do so hats off to whomever came up w/the idea for it.
05.02.09 at 11:04 am