George Bush Jr. had the swine flu engineered to kill a certain minority of the population, that being people from Mexico. Why?? Well why would the CIA(George Bush’s Dad) make AIDS? Why would George Bush Jr. try and build a stupid wall along the mexican/ american border? Why because George Bush senior is a homophobe, and George Bush Jr doesn’t like mexico. So why doesn’t he like Mexico? I don’t know maybe he hates tacos, but I have a few sketchy ideas on that, if you believe that the Bush’s are Cocaine dealer’s. (CIA brought lots of Cocaine into America invented crack and put it into the inner city’s trying to kill off the African American population with crack). So let’s just say the Bush family has been dealing Coke since the late 70’s, and a shitty Coke deal went down with the Mexican president and George Bush, so in retalation Bush designed a flu that will only kill Mexican coke dealers,
Or George Bush just doesn’t like Mexican’s and tacos especially pork ones, and also he failed at building a wall at the border so he’s pissed and this is way easier than building a wall,
Or George Bush bought alot of tamiflu and he might even have shares in the company,
Or this flu could be a government experiment gone wrong, American Army tries to kill the enemy with a flu instead of bullets, let’s face it bullets are expensive and no one is winning in Iraq, the economy is fucked, what’s a cheap way to get rid of everyone? flu, but not just any flu, a flu that will only kill a certain type of people, first this flu has to be tested, notice how not one american has died, and have had only mild cases of this flu?
So the easiest place to test this flu hmmm, no not Canada not yet we still need their water, but let’s test it on Mexico, easy give it to one lady she gives it to someone so on and so on,
Why did George Bush wait to unleash it now when he’s no longer president?
duhh so no one thinks it’s him,
Don’t you also find it strange that this flu appeared at the end of April not at a normal flu season, also another interesting thing this flu is part bird, swine and spanish flu, I find that strange, if you eat birds with bird flu you die but so far we can eat bacon all day long and not get this flu, why is that? still don’t believe me,
my sister, who is not mexican was living in mexico for a year just got back from mexico three days ago, she is not sick and she probably won’t get sick only because this is a scientist made flu to kill people that love tacos.
-Rachel B
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
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this is easily the dumbest fucking shit I have ever read.
05.02.09 at 11:41 am
minority? surely you meant that in the oppressed sense.
05.02.09 at 11:44 am
Also, you are a total toilet.
05.02.09 at 11:58 am
this piece smells of conspiracy:see all the coke references, now who among the “streetcar’s writers” knows all about the booger sugar.
05.02.09 at 12:14 pm
Personally, I’m more interested in what’s NOT being reported when something as superficial as this becomes the darling of the media. Also, you broke the threshold of credibility with the whole “The Bush family is dealin’ coke/ made crack” so I hope and assume this whole thing was written in off hand smug-i-ness.
05.02.09 at 12:42 pm
Whoever wrote this has a sever cognitive delay
05.02.09 at 12:53 pm
terrible
05.02.09 at 1:28 pm
im a sucker for conspiracy theories. that more nonsensical the better. did you hear that barack obama is actually tupac?
05.02.09 at 1:31 pm
Hah, as far as theories, I prefer the one that says swine flu hysteria is manufactured to take our minds of the other, other crisis… you know, the financial one.
05.02.09 at 1:42 pm
have you guys ever heard of satire? look it up, this is a comedy piece not a real conspiracy, making fun of people who believe in conspiracy and the whole flu epidemic bullshit, grab a brain
05.02.09 at 1:56 pm
umm, might be some tiny truth to this, look up air america airline, cia drug smuggling while george bush was in the cia, they made a whole movie about it, ricky ross dealt and bought coke from the cia
think about it people, your government is fucking with you,
05.02.09 at 2:03 pm
BOOOOO BORING
05.02.09 at 2:37 pm
I never thought I’d be nostalgic for the good old cave man days, but we really need to get back to a place where stupidity is fatal again. A couple generations of soft living have allowed the fucking idiot gene to flourish unchecked. This shit is velcro shoes retarded.
05.02.09 at 2:46 pm
he’s hot
05.02.09 at 3:02 pm
who cares?
05.02.09 at 3:03 pm
This wuz some ill shit. King of the Open Mics, thusly far.
05.02.09 at 3:04 pm
ella – I have heard of satire. This falls into the subcategory of “not the least bit fucking funny satire”.
05.02.09 at 4:05 pm
+1 facekick
05.02.09 at 4:20 pm
Your whole explanation about the Iran-Contra affair sounded pretty whack although it is definitely fact that the CIA helped funnel coke from Nicaragua into California. Or Ollie North decided to overlook the tons of cocaine that came from the Nicaraguan Contras entirely because it was helping to fund the CIA’s agenda. Also, it wasn’t under Bush’s presidency, Reagan was in power when the scandal went down, although Bush Sr. was head of the CIA then.
05.02.09 at 4:33 pm
i second mr. cruel. i think we should just turn open mic into an open forum for real and satirical conspiracy theorists.
05.02.09 at 4:58 pm
^^ wow ur so fucking knowledgeable…you must be a high school grad
05.02.09 at 4:58 pm
that was for cuntvomit
05.02.09 at 4:59 pm
Do you purposely select THE WORST open mic submissions? FUCK this isn’t even well written.
Bullshit its made for mexicans- who’d make up America’s cheap labour force otherwise?
If Bush was going to manufacture a super-flu he’d send it to China. A good flu epidemic thins the herd, naturally. There’s WAY better and easier ways to FUCK the rest of world than germ warfare, theres no barrier for the flu.
I heard it was the Illuminati that manufactured and sent out the virus. fucking university student conspiracies. Funny that the CIA funded and trained the Contras terrorism and in turn the Contras funded the CIA with coke. Everyone knows that was a dirty dirty war. But this post made me vomit in my mouth a little.
05.02.09 at 5:35 pm
I eyes got fed up and stopped reading, I wanted to know how it ends, really! I just couldn’t give a shit, it’s not MY fault…
05.02.09 at 9:29 pm
Where is the quality control on this shit?? What the fuck.. has SBTVC dropped below Vice levels now?
05.02.09 at 9:42 pm
Open mic justifies this site’s operators’ not-so-good postings. If their worst work is better than the best the rest of the world can offer, then SBTVC is the best in the world. There is no shortage of wasted words on the internet. I am responsible for some. I wish I had something else to read, but I support this Open Mic, in the hopes that I will someday laugh again, like I used to do here, ten months ago.
05.03.09 at 5:52 am
Pretty bad (not like the kids say but like the adults say). But…erm…at least it’s not Vegan Jules?
05.03.09 at 6:04 am
nobody sucks more cox than vegan jules.
05.03.09 at 7:35 am
This doesn’t make any sense because no one can not like tacos.
05.03.09 at 1:45 pm
Mexicans run the drug trade since the fall of the Columbians. It’s in that Javier Bardem movie.
05.03.09 at 2:39 pm
yet another case of blognigger and street carnage being misinformed:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/apr/17/columbine-massacre-gun-crime-us
05.03.09 at 2:46 pm
On a posi note, however, the photo is pretty good.
05.03.09 at 7:34 pm
You people don’t find anything funny. You come here constantly but then bitch about everything they post and call it boring or too long.
That shit wasn’t that funny though I have to agree.
05.04.09 at 2:03 am
Tupac Obama?!?! Brilliant!!
05.04.09 at 3:01 pm