Those of you not from New York or those who do not keep up with local politics may be unaware of the recent shit storm to happen in Albany. Let me set the scene for you: The year is 2009 C.E., the state Senate has a Democratic majority of 32 Senators to the Republican 30. This is the first time in about 40 years when the Democrats held the Senate. The Senate is on the verge of voting on gay marriage in the state as well as voting on the issue of Mayoral control of the public school system of NYC. On June 8, two Democrats voted with the Republican minority to change the leadership in a session that ended with the lights and video feed of the chambers being cut and everyone generally losing their shit. The two Democrats, Senators Hiram Monserrate and Pedro Espada, voted to change the leadership seemingly as a protest to how the Senate was being run. Both Senators are under ethics investigations (who isn’t now-a-days?), Espada for not filing about 40 campaign reports since 2002, making it near impossible to see how or from whom he’s raising funds and though he has a house in his district, he most likely does not live there. Monserrate is accused of slashing his girlfriend’s face with a broken wine bottle in an altercation, but now they both claim he tripped with it in his hand. Whatever, nothing proven. Maybe it’s just bad luck, right?

It appears that the Democrats had some dirt on Monserrate because he switched back a few days after the coup. This left Espada stranded on the Republican side with the numbers no longer on his side and the spotlight, what little there is when it comes to state politics, focused on him. Basically, the man whipped it out and now he was stuck there with his limp dick in his hand. The Senate was left dead locked 31 to 31 and remained so for the next month. Normally, the session ends on June 22, but Governor Paterson kept it going until someone could make a decision as to who was in charge. In a tie like this, there is normally a solution that the Senators could go to: a tie-breaking vote cast by the lieutenant governor. So why wasn’t this done for the month of gridlock? Because there is no lieutenant governor, at least there wasn’t until very recently. This problem goes back to the resignation of former Governor Eliot Spitzer, the man who loved his prostitute too much, who left his lieutenant governor, Paterson, in charge. There is some uncertainty, but most agreed that according to the New York constitution, Paterson could not appoint a lieutenant. The Senate was stuck in a cycle of sessions occurring with only 31 Senators in the room. Each claiming the other was illegitimate, stupid and unable to maintain basic hygiene.

This whole thing came to a head last Wednesday night when Paterson appointed a lieutenant governor in a steak house. Richard Ravitch was enjoying a large slab of meat with his wife when a couple of attorneys came in, swore him in, took a few photos and left him to his meal. This was a move by Paterson attempting to stop the Republicans from challenging Ravitch’s appointment before he got in. The threat to Espada’s position of power elicited a reaction which cemented him in the halls of spineless politicians for all time, he switched back for a nice title and some cash. He is now the Majority Leader in the Senate, he gets to be the most powerful man in the room, an extra $41k a year and hundreds of thousands in special member items (basically money he can give to any organization he damn well pleases). He does have to share the power with another Senator and he also has to deal with Sen. Smith as the President of the Senate (that’s the guy who used to have the job he now does). The funny thing is: he did this, according to him, to give more power to the ordinary Senators. Now that he has all this power, let’s see if he gives half a shit about the rest of the Senate. (Hint: he doesn’t.)

So that’s how it all played out. Monserrate is hated by everyone, including probably himself. He has no power and will probably get voted out. Espada went from rags to riches, politically, and will probably slide out of all this like an eel doused in oil. The Dems look weak and incompetent, taking back the guy who fucked them eight ways from Sunday. The Republicans are probably going to head downhill in terms of power, but no real change there. So kids, the moral seems to be it pays to be a shameless, money-grubbing prick, but you already knew that, right?
- Olek

No related posts.