I just moved into a new place in Minneapolis. And as a result, I am now in a gang. Not just any gang though. I’m in one of, if not thee, largest and oldest Mexican-American street gangs ever, Surenos 13. That’s pretty impressive for a white dude from northern MN. I know it’s hard to believe, but it even says so right on my garage. I didn’t even find out until this morning.
Okay, so I’m actually in South Side Razas 13, but from what I gather, we are just a younger sub-sect of Sur 13 (Southern United Razas). In fact, I think I’m the oldest cholo in SSR 13. I guess that makes me the O.G. It’s weird because I don’t really remember signing up or getting jumped in or anything. But when it comes to a gang adopting you, I think it’s just best to roll with it. I’m a little confused about what we do but it looks like we wear blue & grey (grey is so versatile, I just love it!), do terrible graffiti and have killed, or are wanting to kill, putos from our rival gangs, Vatos Locos and Latin Kings. Also, we only listen to Surenos Music and get all of our CDs from this website. And apparently, on occasion, we replace the “i” in words with a 1 and the “e” with a 3 and randomly capitalize some letters AND add something about killing our rivals at the end of a sentence. It’s all very confusing and I still have a lot to learn. Anyway, here are some pics of my homies from the gang. Sorry, I mean heR3 r sUm p1Cz ov My HoM13z frOm da gANg VLK moko K1ll3r LKK Sur x3.
And me, the O.G.
-7 INCH
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Southside 13 is currently seeking a motivated individual with high school diploma, GED, or equivalent for an exciting career in digital media. Must be proficient in Photoshop, Illustrator, or I guess MS Paint is good enough. Really any program that has that little airbrush tool to cover our faces for our myspace pictures.
08.14.09 at 12:32 pm
puttin the gay back in gangster
08.14.09 at 1:33 pm
What an impressive group. Is that the “getaway bike” in the foreground?
Now, clean that shit off the side of the garage before your father comes home and gangbangs your ass with his belt.
08.14.09 at 2:26 pm
You Fucking Killed It! (well played sir)
08.14.09 at 2:31 pm
the only open mike i’ve had the attention span for, i.e. less than 100 paragraphs
08.14.09 at 3:24 pm
This shit was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
08.14.09 at 3:54 pm
Fuck Scraps, Kill all Sur Ratas. Northern Califas XIV POR VIDA!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOr4bojumTA&feature=PlayList&p=0EDE5500D69C8D09&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=28
08.14.09 at 5:34 pm
3xc3ll3nt!!!
08.14.09 at 5:41 pm
I think they’re just interested in using your garage for crime purposes. I say consult the local office for membership confirmation before claiming gangsta just to make sure.
08.14.09 at 6:38 pm
FUCK ALL THE WORLD FUCK EVERY ONE IN THIS TOWN. FUCK MOKOS,FUCK KAKAS (Seriously? Fuck kakas. I hate kakas. This is probably the only thing Sur 13 & I have in common), FUCK PPL,FUCK EVRY HATER IN THIS FUCKING CITY IS ALL ABOUT THE REAL CRIMINALS FROM SUREÑOS WORLS BIG 13. FUCK EVERY ONE
08.14.09 at 7:16 pm
thats actually really funny
08.14.09 at 7:25 pm
LOL
08.14.09 at 7:45 pm
Net-anonymity at it’s brightest.
08.15.09 at 12:04 am
It’s an endless barage of stupid useless shit that the young people of this world fixate themselves with. Y’all and this website included. Shit ain’t gonna make anything better ever.
08.15.09 at 5:29 am
you must have moved to midtown. It’s on my garage toooo
08.15.09 at 7:07 pm
This is really funny. I assume you are counting on a high rate of illiteracy amongst the older Sur 13 members, as well as a lack of awareness when it comes to holier-than-thou, hipster blogs.
08.17.09 at 11:29 am
Bl1ng33 rulz!
08.17.09 at 2:32 pm
they’re gonna see this and youre gonna be FUCKED
08.23.09 at 12:04 pm
HEY YOU FUCKING RED NECK VERY FUNY BUT GUESS WHAT I HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE U LIVE U DUMB ASS U DONT EVEN KNOW WAT U GOT UR SELF IN TO WATCH OUT CUZ UR DEAD .STUPID RED NECK DONT EVEN KNOW WAT UR SAYING
01.28.10 at 3:06 am
south side 13 for life homie,who gives a shit if yu white boy homie,yu wit us.dont let these busters get yu down ese.wen we come find the ass they dont say nada
09.08.11 at 4:23 pm