Attached is a photo I took on a recent trip to the Netherlands. The word is out: even Dutch vandals know Jack Johnson is a dildo.

-Kate G.

  1. OPEN MIC: CAN I WRITE FOR YOU?
  2. OPEN MIC: MOUNTAIN OF SHIT
  3. OPEN MIC: @EVERYONE
  4. OPEN MIC: CROOK
  5. OPEN MIC: AND EVERY DAY WAS OVERCAST

This entry was posted on 04.26.09 at 2:40 pm by SBTVC . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
22 Comments
  1. JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL) Says:

    WELL IT JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW STUPID THE DANISH ARE BECASUE IF A DILDO REALLY HAD THAT SHAPE WIHT HORN’S ON IT IT WOULD PRETTY MUCH DESTRUCT THE VAGINA BUTT OR MOUTH OF WHO-EVER WAS USING IT SO I THINK THE JOKE IS ACTUALY ON YOU. YOU SHOULD STICK TO USING AMERICAN-MADE DILDO’S LOOK FOR ‘MADE IN THE USA’ OR JUST USE ‘THE REAL THING’ IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN [WHICH I THINK YOU DO AND NO NOT THE ALBUM BY 'FAITH NO MORE']


  2. white power Says:

    “jack johnson” perfectly describes the man and his music.


  3. Kiff Kankler Says:

    cutting edge stuff people


  4. you're not tough Says:

    in other news: obvious things are obvious.


  5. ZLUR Says:

    How much more open mic do we have to endure?


  6. i'm sensing a pattern Says:

    hey Gavin are you about to jump ship again and start a new site? because posts like this remind me of when vice started blowing MTV


  7. ZLUR Says:

    What do you think Gav will call the new site?

    How about Bumballs.

    Just a thought like.


  8. ZLUR Says:

    Bloody MTV! Grr!

    Swines!


  9. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Says:

    ^ hahaha!

    seriously, fuck this open mike thing. when it was first mentioned I was like “perhaps I could do an article” then my common sense kicked in and I realised I cant write for shit and I have nothing interesting to talk about. apparently these people dont have that area in their brains. Vane$$as was the only good one and that wasnt even on this site.

    in short, this has been an brilliant example to show that slightly hip comment vultures are just massive bores


  10. pingpong Says:

    link to vane$$as


  11. Link to Vane$$a Says:

    Vane$$a Guestpost


  12. Link to Vane$$a Says:

    gee I wonder who wrote those last three comments……please give up the tireless self-promotion. It’s gone on too long, get your own blog….nigger


  13. Vane$$a Says:

    I’ve been glued to this shit all weekend. All the “attention” has blinded me to the obvious.


  14. pingpong Says:

    yeah but i did genuinely enjoy vane$$as post


  15. Dick the Cock Says:

    @(JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL) )
    WELL IT JUST SHOWS HOW STUPID YOU ARE FOR THINKING DANISH LIVE IN HOLLAND (STEAD OF DENMARK…)


  16. French Ass Raper Says:

    Is Jack Johnson a dildo?


  17. ZLUR Says:

    Yes he is.


  18. whiners suck Says:

    @JANG: Bawhahah


  19. JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL) Says:

    WELL ‘DICK MY COCK’ I AM A BIT OF AN EXPERT IN THIS BECASUE I BEEN TO AMSTARDAM SO I THINK I KNOW JUST WHERE THE DANISH LIVE. WELL ACTUALY RIGHT NOW THE DANISH LIVE IN MY STOMACH BECASUE THAT IS WHAT I ATE FOR BREAKFAST [AU BON PAIN 'NUFF SAID] BUT LET ME GUESS ‘DICK MY COCK’ NOW YOU SAY ‘WELL I DO’NT BELEIVE IT I NEED TO GO LOOK DOWN DONNIE’S THROT OR UP HIS BUT TO SEE THE DANISH FOR MYSELF’ WELL GOOD LUCK ‘ON THAT ONE’ BUB, IT AI’NT HAPENING


  20. whiners suck Says:

    Whoops, I meant JAG.


  21. Vane$$a Says:

    livin’ life way 2 gay, amirite?


  22. ZLUR Says:

    Amsterdam has a top wee ciney – turn left comin out of central station, you’ll pass “Rasta Baby” and bingo…


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STREET CARNAGE RADIO 03.19.10
BUZZCOCKS

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STREET BONER 1127

Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.

★★★★★★★★★☆

ENLARGE

STREET BONER 1126

“Wiggers” is a mean word that stings like a motherfucker but, somehow, “Bonkies” doesn’t pack the same wallop.

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1125

Pulling back your sleeve to show your tattoos seems queer but that’s what tattoos are: accessories.

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STREET BONER 1124

You may have noticed there’s a lot of music industry chicks at SXSW all dressed up with no interest in you whatsoever. You may have also noticed you’re not in a band.

★★★★★★★½☆☆


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