When I was a teenager I was a libertarian. I think it’s natural for
young people to embrace extreme viewpoints, whether that’s
libertarian, communist, vegan, whatever stupid idealistic bullshit it
is. But more and more I see full grown adults publicly and proudly
stating that they a libertarians and that they want the government so
small that they can drown it in a bathtub (Grover Norquist popularized
that saying. He’s a moron.)
Adult libertarians fall into one of two categories, or both I suppose.
Either they’ve lived a life of privilege or they’re a fucking moron.
Or like I said, maybe both I guess. Nobody who has had to actually
work for a living would believe for one second that corporate anarchy
would work. Because that’s basically what libertarianism is.
Corporate anarchy. Let’s unleash all the businesses and let them run
roughshod over the country (or I guess the whole world if they could
swing it.) It’s obviously a horrible idea for the same reasons
regular old anarchy is a horrible idea. Because people are garbage.
If there was no law saying I can’t rape your hot 16 year old daughter,
I’d fucking do it. Likewise if there’s no law saying I can’t use 8
year olds as slave labor to work in my circus peanut factory, that’s
what I’m gonna do too (and I’m gonna get those 8 year olds by knocking
up your teenage daughter.) Obviously that’s hyperbole, I’m going to
fuck your daughter anyway.
Seriously though, anyone who’s worked a real job knows what kind of
assholes are out there. For every “good” boss like the guys at Google
or whatever, there’s a billion fuckholes who dick over their employees
every possible way they can get away with it. And the idiotic
libertarian idea of quit that job and work for a boss that doesn’t
suck presumes that there is a boss that doesn’t suck. Then the
alternate of start up your own competing company and be the boss you
want is just childish and stupid. Most people are not in a financial
situation that would allow this, never mind that the real “market”
doesn’t work that way.
The simple example that seems to sink in for most people is
privatization of the roads. This is a pretty simple one, that
libertarians are generally in favor of. The problem being that with
roads, like a lot of other industries, there’s no room for a competing
road to run between my house and my job. So the whole idea of a
market system goes out the window. This is true for more industries
than people realize, there’s actually I think fewer places where
there’s a real fair playing field where a startup has any shot against
an established entity than naive libertarians would like to believe.
One of the biggest problems with libertarianism (or even just
conservatism in general) is that it does not acknowledge the enormous
role that blind, dumb luck plays in everyone’s lives. Sure, you have
to actually DO something to have a chance of it succeeding, but of all
the people that do something the few who succeed at it usually do so
out of luck. Oreo became more popular than Hydrox even though Oreo
was an inferior knockoff out of dumb luck, not merit. JK Rowling
became super rich over hundreds of other authors not because she is
especially talented or because she knew that a book about a child
wizard would be a big hit, it was just dumb luck. Most people who are
successful are there because they got lucky in addition to doing the
work. There were also a lot of other people who worked just as hard
who did not find success. My point being that the premise that anyone
who’s in a position of wealth and power is there because they deserve
it or earned it is ridiculous. Lots of other people “deserved” it
just as much and didn’t get it. It’s just luck.
So this shit isn’t much better than that other garbage I ripped on for
being rambling crap, but I don’t care enough to go back and edit it so
it’s gonna stand as is. To summarize, you have to be a fucking idiot
to call yourself a libertarian. I mean how would someone be greeted
if they were going around saying “I’m a Communist!” they’d be mocked
left and right. Libertarians should be just as mocked because they’re
every bit as fuckin stupid.
– SHITCOCK
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This is the dumbest fucking article I’ve ever read in my life. Please go do the world a favor and never write anything again.
04.25.09 at 4:24 pm
you are so fucking stupid i can’t believe they even put this on the website.
“if they said it was legal to rape your 16 year old daughter i would do it”. I think that says something about you, not about libertarianism. if murder was legal would you roll down the street shooting people? moron. LIbertarianism doesn’t advocate making EVERYTHING legal, so your whole fucking argument is just retarded.
its kind of sad that you think everyone who is successful is so just because of “dumb luck”. I think you are just jealous of others, and cant acknowledge that maybe that can create things better than you can. J.K Rowling wrote some good books that millions of people loved. and because she is successful and you aren’t it must be “luck”. bullshit. you could never hope to write a better book. so go fuck yourself, and stop blaming “luck” and everything outside of yourself for all of your problems.
fag.
04.25.09 at 4:35 pm
You’d rape a 16 year old, you should get your ass beat.
04.25.09 at 5:48 pm
Hahaha do you fucktards not know the meaning of the word “hyperbole”? Of course I wouldn’t rape a 16 year old. That’s like at least 8 or 9 years too old for me.
04.25.09 at 6:05 pm
Article sucked, title still accurate.
04.25.09 at 6:06 pm
Honestly he’s right about luck. We tend to overevaluate the importance of our own will, but when it comes down to it, the greatest of achievements owe more to historical contingencies than any one person’s individual will.
Right now, there are a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand potential rock stars living in Iran who will never make a successful record. Why? Not because they don’t have the talent. Because there aren’t enough people to organize concerts, willing to buy albums, willing to brave the police and the Islamic beauracracy. Could they do it in America? Maybe. But they’re there and that is that.
By the way, most men would rape 16 year olds. If you don’t believe that, read a couple of articles on what went down when Yugoslavia started to break apart.
04.25.09 at 6:19 pm
Shitcock just made my day and this better have made yours too because if it didnt, well then, you are an idiot.
04.25.09 at 6:24 pm
My fabulous article over at nigger beats was way better.
04.25.09 at 6:24 pm
I think that this open mic thing is a good idea. Gives us a chance to see who has the balls to step out of the audience.
This is pretty good. But still, you called yourself a libertarian when you were a teenager? Who are you? Jeffrey Dahmer? The only thing I called myself as a teenager was was horny and bored.
Luck is certainly a part of success, but it pales in comparison to the ability to suck a mean dick, both metaphorically and literally, and that’s the truth. Where do Libertarians stand on that?
04.25.09 at 6:30 pm
I did not make that 6:24 comment. Get out of my computer, motherfucker!
04.25.09 at 6:31 pm
WELL “SHIT COCK” YOU DEFINATELY MAKE SOME GOOD POINT’S BUT I WO’NT TO CORECT ONE POINT YOU MADE. IN LIBERTARY SYSTEM’S THEIR REMAINS A POLICE FORCES TO PROTECT PRIVATE PROPERTY. NOW IN AMERICA MANY YEAR’S AGO WE IRRADICAED SLAVERY, WHICH JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT AMERICA IS A SHINING BEACAN FOR ALL THE REST OF THE WORLD BECASUE AFTER THAT MANY OTHER COUNTRIES SUCH AS EUROPE IRRADICATED SLAVERY IN THEY’RE OWN COUNTRIES. SO ANY WAYS, IT IS NOT LIKELY THAT A 16 GIRL IN AMERICA IS THE PROPERTY OF ANY ONE, WELL MAY BE A RUSSIAN GANGSTER LIVING IN AMERICA, BUT DO YOU THINK HE WILL CALL 5-0 I CERTAINELY DO’NT. SO ANY WAYS IN LIBERTARY SYSTEM’S YOU MIGHT GET IN TROUBLE FOR RAPING A 16-YEARS GIRL BUT ONLY IF SHE IS THE PROPERTY OF A MAN OR LEZBO
04.25.09 at 6:35 pm
I called myself horny and bored but also a libertarian, I grew up in a political town. I think I was mostly reacting to all the vegetarian socialists around me playing hackysack and shit.
04.25.09 at 6:56 pm
What town was that? Washington DC?
04.25.09 at 7:24 pm
b-b-b-but I thought this site was a Libertarian utopia run by Gavin?
I’m all for someone taking the piss out of libertarians. Taking an ideology like classical liberalism and running it into the ground with half-cooked bullshit ideas like private roadways and coin-op fire departments is nothing more than some jerk-off fantasy for kids who read Ayn Rand’s wikipedia page as a replacement for actual political thought. Enjoy what the lack of proper government oversight did to the world’s banking system, then rinse and repeat.
04.25.09 at 7:42 pm
~Stop the Cyc… AMIRIIIIITE?!!”
I write
to
keep my soul
free
Who the fuck
are you
to
bark up my
tree?
-ne$$.
04.25.09 at 7:46 pm
I see what you’re getting at, but the whole “article”(?) rests on a faulty premise: the true definition of “libertarianism” is totally misunderstood.
also, the open mic thing IS a good idea. but it also opens the doors to long-windedness. every magazine or newspaper has word limits. can you do that here, too?
04.25.09 at 7:47 pm
It’s called “not fit to print.” The best.
04.25.09 at 7:49 pm
OMG this open mic shit is turning into the street boners version of “sphere” . They grant u the ability to do anything u want and this is what u do??? CHRICHTON WHAT HAVE U WROUGHT?!
04.25.09 at 7:53 pm
also libertarians blow syphilitic dix. m dads ex-bff was a self proclaimed libertarian who like wacked off to atlas shrugged and he made his one kid he liked less join the army or some shit to pay for college and he left his wife n stuff but that was kewl by me cuz when she used to babysit me she made me watch general hospital even though i like passions way better and only let me eat watered down kool aid and those store brand vanilla oreos.
04.25.09 at 7:59 pm
ITS BETTER TO SIDE WITH FOX NEWS AND BE CUTTING EDGE
04.25.09 at 8:06 pm
Thank You for writing this article, It’s high time someone said the king has no clothes when it comes to just how horrible an idea “Libetertainism” actually is. Thank You kind sir.
04.25.09 at 8:12 pm
I read the comments firsts, glad i did… In the immortal words of Me, Mom and Morgentaler : “J’aime la vie en anarchie!”
04.25.09 at 8:23 pm
oooohhh… stick it in my warm butt please.
04.25.09 at 9:09 pm
fucking retarded
04.25.09 at 9:17 pm
wait, whats wrong with harry potter?
04.25.09 at 10:02 pm
When I was a teenager I was a libertarian. I think it’s natural for
young people to embrace extreme viewpoints, whether that’s
libertarian, communist, vegan, whatever stupid idealistic bullshit it
is. But more and more I see full grown adults publicly and proudly
stating that they a libertarians and that they want the government so
small that they can drown it in a bathtub (Grover Norquist popularized
that saying. He’s a moron.)
Adult libertarians fall into one of two categories, or both I suppose.
Either they’ve lived a life of privilege or they’re a fucking moron.
Or like I said, maybe both I guess. Nobody who has had to actually
work for a living would believe for one second that corporate anarchy
would work. Because that’s basically what libertarianism is.
Corporate anarchy. Let’s unleash all the businesses and let them run
roughshod over the country (or I guess the whole world if they could
swing it.) It’s obviously a horrible idea for the same reasons
regular old anarchy is a horrible idea. Because people are garbage.
If there was no law saying I can’t rape your hot 16 year old daughter,
I’d fucking do it. Likewise if there’s no law saying I can’t use 8
year olds as slave labor to work in my circus peanut factory, that’s
what I’m gonna do too (and I’m gonna get those 8 year olds by knocking
up your teenage daughter.) Obviously that’s hyperbole, I’m going to
fuck your daughter anyway.
Seriously though, anyone who’s worked a real job knows what kind of
assholes are out there. For every “good” boss like the guys at Google
or whatever, there’s a billion fuckholes who dick over their employees
every possible way they can get away with it. And the idiotic
libertarian idea of quit that job and work for a boss that doesn’t
suck presumes that there is a boss that doesn’t suck. Then the
alternate of start up your own competing company and be the boss you
want is just childish and stupid. Most people are not in a financial
situation that would allow this, never mind that the real “market”
doesn’t work that way.
The simple example that seems to sink in for most people is
privatization of the roads. This is a pretty simple one, that
libertarians are generally in favor of. The problem being that with
roads, like a lot of other industries, there’s no room for a competing
road to run between my house and my job. So the whole idea of a
market system goes out the window. This is true for more industries
than people realize, there’s actually I think fewer places where
there’s a real fair playing field where a startup has any shot against
an established entity than naive libertarians would like to believe.
One of the biggest problems with libertarianism (or even just
conservatism in general) is that it does not acknowledge the enormous
role that blind, dumb luck plays in everyone’s lives. Sure, you have
to actually DO something to have a chance of it succeeding, but of all
the people that do something the few who succeed at it usually do so
out of luck. Oreo became more popular than Hydrox even though Oreo
was an inferior knockoff out of dumb luck, not merit. JK Rowling
became super rich over hundreds of other authors not because she is
especially talented or because she knew that a book about a child
wizard would be a big hit, it was just dumb luck. Most people who are
successful are there because they got lucky in addition to doing the
work. There were also a lot of other people who worked just as hard
who did not find success. My point being that the premise that anyone
who’s in a position of wealth and power is there because they deserve
it or earned it is ridiculous. Lots of other people “deserved” it
just as much and didn’t get it. It’s just luck.
So this shit isn’t much better than that other garbage I ripped on for
being rambling crap, but I don’t care enough to go back and edit it so
it’s gonna stand as is. To summarize, you have to be a fucking idiot
to call yourself a libertarian. I mean how would someone be greeted
if they were going around saying “I’m a Communist!” they’d be mocked
left and right. Libertarians should be just as mocked because they’re
every bit as fuckin stupid.
04.25.09 at 10:24 pm
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So that guy who quoted me verbatim (and made me realize I typo’d “are” as “a” in the first paragraph) must really wanna bath my scrotum with his tongue. No thanks buddy, I don’t swing that way.
Also Harry Potter is OK if you like reading children’s books written by a menopausal single mother. Hmm, wait a second does anyone else even write children’s books? Oh wait I forgot closeted dudes.
04.25.09 at 11:13 pm
anarcho-christian-communism and the 1000 year agricultural revolution is the only true political ideology that will work. everything else is suicide.
04.26.09 at 12:22 am
im not sure whether the fact I 100% agree with your views on libertarianism has clouded whether or not I think this is a good article, but I enjoyed this. I find the social aspect pretty retarded as well. Not just for buttfucking the constitution and referring to it like some kind of oracle, but for the conceptualisation of “property” and how you own your “property”. That kind of rampant fear that everyone and everything will fuck up your shit so you need an assault rifle for your house is so paranoid, and kind of reminds me how a kid with autism will make loud noises if you try to hug him for invading his personal space. Therefore Id probably say libertarians arent so much stupid children as stupid autistic children.
04.26.09 at 2:23 am
I’m a soft-dicked libertarian.
I like the idea of a free market and self government, but know that people are too fucking stupid to “do the right thing” if they were given the option.
So mostly when I vote, which is never, I vote libertarian in a blind “I know my vote means shit” way being in the state of MA.
blah blah blah, let’s play bioshock and fuck.
04.26.09 at 2:47 am
I think he is right. I like to vote for the worst possible candidates because I think anarchy comes from within. But at the same time i’m also stupid. not libertarian stupid but more in a plain vanilla ice cream way.
04.26.09 at 4:17 am
PLEASE, JESUS, DON’T DERIVE YOUR POLITICAL BELIEFS ON THE FUCKING VIDEO GAME “BIOSHOCK” EVER. caps attack.
04.26.09 at 4:56 am
You may find many commas and semicolons in my work, but you will not find excessive caplocks. It’s not my style (AMIRITE).
?!!
04.26.09 at 11:07 am
Oh god just stop already. At this point I would like to offer a public apology to Blognigger for ever questioning the quality of his work, or better yet, daring to have the audacity to make some friendly suggestions from my decidedly unimportant peanut gallery perch. Happy?
04.26.09 at 1:14 pm
Honestly JK Rowling fucking SUCKS.
04.26.09 at 1:35 pm
some of your points were teenager-ish (i dont think youd ever actually rape anyone) but overall good article – makes the gavins and south park writers of the world frown and do more coke
04.26.09 at 2:12 pm
Actually Private Roads has been well researched and discussed and privatizing them has done very well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mAYC-wmXpU
It also works well for schools. Do you know how hard it is to fire a teacher in today’s “Free Market free” system? It’s a nightmare. Voucher programs are saving education because they give teachers a reason to come to work.
The strange part of all this anti-libertarianism is how much people prefer the gov’t over private citizens. They think we are all scumbags that need some fucking bureacrat keeping us in line. Yeah, that’s what I need, a civil servant taking all my earnings and handing parts back to me when he’s decided I’m good and ready.
04.26.09 at 2:30 pm
Please provide ONE, just one example of the gov’t handling something better than private enterprise. I can provie about 100 examples of the opposite.
04.26.09 at 2:32 pm
youre a fucking idiot, your “article” is shit. go back to jerking off to your mass marketed obama propaganda, while you dangle from the celling fan with a rope tied around your neck you piece of shit.
the only people who think gov control is better then private citizens taking care of them selfs. are lazy POS who wont take any accountability for their lives, and change whats wrong, instead of bitching about it
“im sick and tired of youre bitching and moaning boo fucking hoo!”
04.26.09 at 3:35 pm
@Red: You’re adorable. I’m sure privatized roads work great out in Montana where the population density of deer is twice that of people. But in the real world it’s a fucking terrible idea.
It’s also obvious from your short little comment that like pretty much every other libertarian your views are more like a religion to you than based in reality. “.. need some fucking bureacrat kepeing us in line.” Yeah, man that’s exactly what most people want, you obviously are not at all living in some paranoid delusion.
@Loomis: Ahh the classic libertarian canard. I almost addressed this directly in my post but I got bored and I kinda wanted to see how long it took for someone to say it. The government is a tool for us as citizens to use. If it’s not performing the way you like then it’s your fault as much as anyone else’s. It’s very easy to get involved and change things. You’d just rather sit on the sidelines and cry about how you want the government out of your life than get up off your ass.
@yes: I don’t have a ceiling fan, is it OK if I use the shower curtain rod?
The government *is* us taking care of ourselves. Like I just said, if you don’t like it, you have nobody else to blame. It answers to us, get more involved, run for office, support candidates that you agree with.
But of course we both know you won’t do that, because like I said originally; libertarians are stupid children.
04.26.09 at 4:26 pm
Has anyone read the latest issue of foreign affairs? The interesting thing is that despite all of the heightened rhetoric, the lines between public and private are blurring. Case in point: when people talk about Big Oil, they forget to mention that the 15 biggest oil companies in the world are state-run. Add to that the nationalization of most of the american economy, and you realize that today the government just acts like another corporation, albeit one with a considerable competitive advantage: a virtually limitless capacity for credit and the power to literally print its own money. Besides, they never actually have to turn a profit.
04.26.09 at 5:36 pm
@ ummm
that is because america is on the fast track to becoming a fascist country. and to all you ignorant asswipes out there nazism and fascism are not the same thing, so get “bush” and “republicans” out of your mind because its just two different heads of teh one state system.
shitcock, you are extremely stupid and naive to think that what the government does is somehow an intrsument of “the people” and private citizens. we elect someone every 4 years, and then they do what they want. how many people wanted the bailouts? stimulus? war in iraq? i could go on and on and on and on but the fact is that government very often acts in direct contrast to the wishes of the citizens.
its also sad that you seem to think that the government is the only vehicle we have to take care of ourselves. most if not all government programs designed to help people are completely useless, and in some cases make things worse.
keep reading, and try again
04.26.09 at 10:06 pm
“we elect someone every 4 years”
That statement alone demonstrates that you are completely and totally ignorant and prefer dogma to actual knowledge. Once again; stupid children.
04.26.09 at 10:36 pm
instead of picking a fragment of a sentence, argue the whole piece.
04.26.09 at 11:43 pm
[...] STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » OPEN MIC: LIBERTARIANS ARE STUPID … [...]
04.27.09 at 12:07 am
I’d just like to point out that the reason Libertarianism has become a popular ideology is because our government that is indeed supposed to be ‘us’ is pretty much doing its own thing. And yes, many of ‘us’ are responsible for letting this happen, but then again they ingrain in ‘us’ a deep optimism for it. You also have to admit our options have been limited. And ‘we’ really don’t have much say over some pretty key things, such as our current monetary system. I agree that too much optimism in the individual (libertarianism) is very naive and dangerous, but too much optimism in the government handling everything can lead to danger.
04.27.09 at 2:04 am
The article’s premise, which appears to be that voters have full rein…or even majority rein…or even a minor influence…over the laws and policies which elected officials enact at the behest of their financial overlords, is fatally flawed and stillborn.
And the idea that most working Americans have the fucking TIME to lobby and agitate and sit in drum circles, or whatever he thinks will have the remotest impact on actual public policy, is likewise delusional.
The author suffers from an infantile affliction called “voter’s naivete” yet is sufficiently infantile to call others children.
Fail.
04.27.09 at 5:46 am
There’s nothing stupid or childish about the handle I chose.
04.27.09 at 6:06 am
The real children in this equation are the ones who think we need Big Brother.
04.27.09 at 6:11 am
It does not take much time or effort to be aware of what’s going on and be involved. I work 6 days a week and I’m exceptionally lazy.
You little kids would rather just sit around going “OMG Obama is doing whatever he wants! The government is too big!” than actually expend the tiny amount of effort it takes to not be an ignorant retard.
It’s ok though like I said, you’re stupid children. Go turn on Glenn Beck and cry about it.
04.27.09 at 9:52 am
You’re definition of libertarianism is excessively vague, while equating libertarianism with anarchism is certainly a stretch – and displays your ignorance despite your claims. You’ve barely got an argument besides “Libertarianism is stupid and childish.” Also, you put way too much faith in the structure and politicians of liberal democracies. Yes, it is meant as a tool to serve the people but, as i’m sure you’ve experienced, it frequently fails (Canadian health care is a good example – more choice now!) largely due to the bureaucratic nightmare of it all. Of course, lawlessness is not the solution, that is not the essence of libertarianism anyway.
Also, reducing every success to luck is silly and defeatist. Einstein didn’t get lucky, he studied and furthered his human capacity. The United States did not become the world’s superpower through luck, but rather through a course of events affected by foreign, economic policy, etc. If by luck you mean cause and effect, perhaps you should consider a course in Philosophy or even basic science.
04.27.09 at 2:10 pm
gggggiiiiiizzzzz aaaaaaa faaaaagggg eehhhh?
04.27.09 at 4:07 pm
Actually the United States became the world’s superpower EXACTLY through luck. Honestly, being a superpower isn’t so difficult, Persia was one at a point in world history and look at them now. Why do you think Ahmedinijad is so fixated on acquiring nukes? To show the world that Persia is capable of its former glory.
The US became a superpower by staying the fuck out of world wars until everyone else ran themselves into oblivion and then taking over while everyone else was in tatters. It’s a winning strategy that anyone who has played the board game ‘risk’ will know about (that and securing Australia, although sometimes you can do the same thing in South America). By the way, America didn’t win the Cold War, the Soviet Union lost it, and that’s not the same thing. In the 80s people like Kissinger were predicting the Cold War as an inevitable fact of life.
Sad thing is, within 10 years of becoming the unquestioned power of the world, the Americans IMMEDIATELY blew their load fighting stupid wars (Iraq, twice). America has always been about isolationism, NOT empires. Nice one, you guys.
04.27.09 at 10:14 pm
Also, equating libertarianism with anarchy is a stretch? You do realize that Robert Nozick’s seminal libertarian work is called “Anarchy, State, and Utopia”, right?
BIATCH!!!
04.27.09 at 10:15 pm
Ummm Roger G. …Ever heard “don’t judge a book by its cover”? Nozick argued for libertarianism in opposition to statism and anarchy.
05.02.09 at 6:50 pm
good lord what a moron. read about already so you at least have some idea of what you’re talking about.
05.29.09 at 7:11 pm