Ever had a BBQ and that one cool uncle comes over? The one with a beer in one hand who’s cracking jokes here and there? That’s Obama. Uncle ‘Bama.
Noticed how he said “Where do you guys get these ringtones, by the way?” Showing that he’s older, jesting us youngsters at the kid’s table.
If you’re BBQing, there are bound to be flies. How’s Uncle ‘Bama handle that?
Well, since he’s buzzin’ he talks to it. “Hey! Get outta here.” Then when it lands on his hand, he kills it via bitch slap. Like any man, he is impressed with his kill–“I got the sucker.”
Now that he just killed a fly and the sun is going down, he’s feeling a little frisky. Time to flirt with his wife as he cracks open another beer.
Oh nos, there’s conflict at the BBQ! Don’t worry, Barry has it under control. He sits the two down, gets beers for everyone, and chats with them. Cracking jokes and offering advice, the conflict is soon gone.
-EazyE
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who gives a fuck!!!! its not like any of the presidents before him didn’t bbq drink beer or kill flies. This is just like those “Celebrities are just like us” collumns in People or whatever trash magazine. Oh look Cameron Diaz bleeds from her gash too! I am special after all. I like Obama, but quit dangling shiny objects in front of my face, it doesn’t work.
09.11.09 at 11:13 am
i dont know if this was worth publishing .
Im just not sure .
09.11.09 at 11:15 am
fuck off with these Obama blowjobs all of the time. For CHRISSAKE don’t you realise you’ve all been fooled. Obama is basically doing to white gay middle-class hipsters what GWBush was to Christian fundamentalists, he plays up to whatever idea you’ve had constructed for you by the media of who he is and then laughs as you shovel it in with both hands.
I thought Street Carnage was about controversy. This piece of cumrag is about as controversial as suggesting we all go for Thai food instead of pizza.
Again, FUCK YOU whoever wrote this.
09.11.09 at 11:45 am
^^ What a fucking douchebag. Yeah, SC is about “controversy” all right, that’s why every post either concerns 1. Pants; 2. Crass; 3. What pants Crass likes to not wear.
This column was obviously a spoof, although not a funny one, and anyone who is sick of “Obama blowjobs” should probably focus more of that righteous indignation on getting their own dick sucked
09.11.09 at 12:02 pm
Actually…Obama is the cool brother-in-law I wish my lame sister would marry.
The one with a secret bag of weed in the garage, an X-Box console for when the guys come over and a couch I can crash on when my girlfriend throws me out.
Just saying. I get all of the retarded jokes (and even all of the paranoid haters) but for fuck’s sake, he admitted to doing blow. Who the fuck ever admitted doing drugs and still got elected?
OK? In my mind that makes him not a fucking liar and also the coolest President ever.
09.11.09 at 1:04 pm
Erik Kolacek ever consider that he is a liar for admitting that stuff? just saying.
09.11.09 at 1:23 pm
fuck, did i fall for a spoof post! shit is always flying way over my head. no more coffee for me, i keep jumping the gun.
09.11.09 at 1:33 pm
“The bums will always lose!!!”
Mel I thought you only did AlJazeera.
09.11.09 at 1:34 pm
@Just a cunt hair away: Yeah, I know…just let me have my fantasy. I’m trying to rationalize the hundreds of grams of cocaine I have consumed in my shady life.
09.11.09 at 1:38 pm
Erik Kolacek that’s so cool- i mean, yeah me too.
09.11.09 at 1:44 pm
barrack’s a drunkard
09.11.09 at 2:35 pm
fuck off. barak’s a fucking badass
09.11.09 at 2:57 pm
At what point does the media begin to gag on Obama’s schlong of hope? Perhaps they’re just masters of the partisan deep-throat. Get ready for the swallow…
09.11.09 at 3:00 pm
if obama were here he’d tell you all to chill
09.11.09 at 3:37 pm
Y’all trippin. Uncle Barry got this shit on lock. He’s gonna fix everything while drinkin’ a cold one too. So sit back, have a beer, and enjoy the BBQ
09.11.09 at 7:26 pm
Always remember: it doesn’t matter who the president is when your country is a bag of shit dominated by lobby groups. Y’all read about this shit in Civics, right? Any President (good, evil, or somewhere in between) has a relatively small hold on power & needs support of Congress to pass most new laws. The Canadian PM has more domestic control in his own country by a longshot. So, regardless of Bush or Obama, power can only be asserted by a matter of degrees, unless you fire/reappoint people in the public service.
Fuck all these hipster kids who blindly supported Obama thinking he’d make it easier for white kids to feel less awkward riding the subway, then turned their back on him when they realized he isn’t their city councillor.
09.12.09 at 2:13 am
Arvind, is this sarcasm? If so, it needs to be ramped way more to be funny. If it isn’t I’m ashamed to have it on our site. What’s with these posts? Do you love your president? How queer are you?
09.12.09 at 10:41 am
It’s sarcasm. Sorries.
09.12.09 at 12:32 pm
Karl Rove was the weird uncle at the BBQ, inviting the little nephews to walk over and see the inside of his cool, tricked out van. Just don’t tell your dad about this, we know how jealous he can be!
09.12.09 at 12:37 pm
Listen people. It’s go time. I still don’t have a dick in my ass.
Regal Theatre on Broadway Avenue 6pm today.
First stall on the left.
Lets do this.
09.13.09 at 11:26 am