When straighties roll up to gay karaoke on a Friday night, it would seem that they are only looking to have a riotous, show tune-filled evening of gaiety and merriment. It’s hard to find your soulmate when everyone else’s soulmates harbor matching genitalia. And even if your gays can fill your stroke bucket with enough “Hey SEXY GRRRLL”s to make you menstruate, the last thing straight girls would be looking for on these forays into gaydom is an ultra sexy, also-straight Mexican to call their very own. Between the Liza Minnelli, the fankicks, fruity drinks, and being the token hag of the evening, the likelihood of mating seems slim to none.
So even though I embarrassed myself in a way that would probably ruin my ego if caught on tape, I guess I was wrong about what makes a proper mating call. Apparently really sexy, straight yuppie Mexis hang out with their gay friends too, and get super into it when you hag it up and make a spectacle of yourself on the mic.
While before this, I’d never slept with anyone who wasn’t a white, awkward piece of 20-something shit, take my recommendation and don’t write off 30 year old, possibly pedophilic Mexican doctors. Salsa, chips, Magnum XLs, pretending to be madly in love for an hour… I want to put myself inside you, too, Pepe. I want to put myself inside you too.
- Lori
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This is post is confusing.
07.17.09 at 12:00 pm
uhhhh..
07.17.09 at 12:57 pm
umm.. so you got DP’d by those 2 wrestler dudes??
that’s cool.. did they sign your cast?
07.17.09 at 1:35 pm
JOU JYOS’ GOT EY-FUCKED!!
JA JA JA!!!
07.17.09 at 1:43 pm
i’ve got two years left before I’m “old”
07.17.09 at 2:22 pm
You’re fucking gross.
07.17.09 at 4:30 pm
This was awesome.
07.17.09 at 6:44 pm
Mexican dick you say?
07.18.09 at 12:55 am
magnum XLs and mexicans doesn’t make a shit of sense. they get droopy and then just fall off on small mexi-dicks. you are a liar. check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1oy_TQ9tyE
07.18.09 at 6:07 am
Sweaty Mexicans fucking rule.
07.19.09 at 3:51 am
this is mostly good news
07.19.09 at 4:16 pm
Get ready for them to crash the stock market in the near future party like it’s 1929
also when you say “straighties” you have to put “Mexican” — everybody’s default subject of conversation is white people because they/we invented the internet (with the help of asian drones). So you need the extra adj, check Strunk and White.
07.20.09 at 10:27 am
wait… so did lori wear the XL’s???
Even mentioning that has no redeeming quality from the straight up garbage dripping down from her brain to her typing hands
07.20.09 at 4:02 pm
[...] crawled all up in my lip space. The tongue-fest was fine, but it was going nowhere fast as my one night standards are pretty high. I made that perfectly clear, and went back to the roof to get drunk. Five beers later, all was [...]
10.07.09 at 10:02 am
OK, can we get a sexually liberated girl (who can actually write) to post on SBTVC? Or does such a beautiful creature not exist? Seriously guys, a little editorial discretion please.
10.07.09 at 2:45 pm