My one nephew cannot go without seeing his mommy for even one full day. He starts freaking out, crying, calling her name. It’s not that he’s a momma’s boy, it’s just that my sister-in-law has always been there for him. For these first three years of his life, for the most part, she has been in the same room or no further than two rooms away from him every single day. That’s her fault. She created this bond that keeps him from enjoying his life when his mom’s not around.
My advice to all new mothers: leave your kids behind. Wherever you go — the park, the supermarket, the mall — just leave them. When they’re not looking, just take off. Let them look for you. Let them realize they are all alone in that mall and in this life. Let them come to grips with the fact that they must fend for themselves or die. I’d suggest paying for your groceries, packing them into the car, going home, unpacking them, putting the cereals and the fruits away, and then going back to the market to fetch the kid. Trust me, do that a few times and before long that kid will just walk home on its own. Separation anxiety will be a thing of the past.
I remember growing up and waiting to get picked up after basketball practice. And seeing all the other kids getting into their parents cars and driving off until the parking lot was empty. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. This was a semi regular occurrence until I realized, “Shit. No one is coming.” And then I walked my ass home. And I’m a tougher person for it.
-CHRIS NIERATKO
ChrisNieratko.com
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4411 access attempts in the last 7 days.
SB=BB
11.17.09 at 11:36 am
You’ve got to let kids find there own way in the world from the get-go and while suckling teets is pleasant pastime, it makes for weak knees. If you love someone set them free…
11.17.09 at 12:33 pm
More Nieratko!!!
11.17.09 at 12:37 pm
Yeah, more Nieratko.
11.17.09 at 1:11 pm
holly fuck that sucked. if only there was a parenting site you could post crap like that on for other fags to read, as well as simultaneously posting it on platform.
repeat: sucked.
11.17.09 at 1:34 pm
Awesome. Nieratko is the one thing I truly miss from the days before Vice started sucking giant buckets of soggy dicks. Maybe he still writes for them, I don’t know. But I do know that he should write here daily and you should pay him handsomely for it.
11.17.09 at 2:11 pm
He still writes @ Vice, and this still sucked
11.17.09 at 2:44 pm
Nieratko was the only thing I missed from Vice. Get him on here fulltime!
11.17.09 at 2:52 pm
I miss big brother….
11.17.09 at 3:06 pm
Haha, this guy is awesome. And yes, I recall the good old days of being the last kid to (not) get picked up.
11.17.09 at 3:57 pm
Yep, people should stop treating their kids like Fabergé eggs, they need to grow some hair on their chest. They’re not even allowed to ride their bmx bikes down to the old condom factory for chrissake!
11.17.09 at 4:27 pm
I saw him spooning Knoxville hung over in texas once, they were both sleeping for like 9 hours straight, just spooning all cute-like and shit.
11.17.09 at 5:28 pm
This is the perfect example of how people can like a guy so much that they’re blind to the fact that some things he does suck shit.
This is a terrible post, and all the fans going “hahaha I love this guy!” probably didn’t even read it – they just saw his name.
It’s like watching a sex pistols reunion – “HA I love these guys!!!” – Yeah, too bad they sound like shit.
11.17.09 at 5:31 pm
can’t believe he dunked that baby like a basketball into a clothes hamper and then tossed it into the pool!!!!! Enjail this phyco permanently with the other cholos this hamper makes doing laps so annoying you have to dodge mid-way!
11.17.09 at 6:14 pm
Church.
11.17.09 at 7:36 pm
I’m willing to give up blognigger if it means more nieratko.. his skinema book is still on my crapper.
11.17.09 at 7:38 pm
OHFUCK – Consider the link to viceland.com de-fucking-leted. I wasn’t using that shit much anyways.
11.17.09 at 9:48 pm
I like to lock my kids in a closet to brew some toughness into em.
No food or water or sunlight for a few days they come out like men.
11.18.09 at 9:25 am
This site just vastly improved in quality.
11.18.09 at 7:38 pm
This is my dream!
11.19.09 at 6:52 pm
[...] STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » PARENTING TIPS FROM CHRIS NIERATKO … [...]
12.11.09 at 9:24 pm