Nick Chapelle and Paul K circa ‘99

Most friendships are forged by some sort of common interest, like music, sports, macrame, collecting sea shells or comics or whatever — something social, something boring. The common bond between Nick and I is being huge pervs. He’s the only guy I know who I can smoke a bowl with, put on a Hertzog film for background cadence, and talk about all things related to fucking for hours.

Our dedication to all things relating to “The Beast” took on a dubious twist in 2002 when we began collaborating on two novels about a group of teens that all once belonged to the same adult website: runawayteenfriends.com. (These jizz soaked literary gems should come out late 2010; think if Larry Clark directed Badlands or Chinatown with the old cast of Degrassi, blasted on acid.)

One of my favorite, intensely pervy “Nick moments” was in college when he took me on a very detailed tour of his new place. He often spoke of his new roommate, Jenny, yet all I knew about her was that she had dreds but was still hot enough to jack off to in the shower.

This “tour” consisted of him showing me Jenny’s laundry hamper and a folder on her desktop called “Aruba ‘98.”

This story is about Jenny’s panties and their many attributes.

-PAUL K


(Taken from the “Aruba ‘98″ desktop folder)

Jenny and I lived together for two years. She was one of about five roommates I had whilst living in this large house during my college days. Jenny was super hot. I’m not into hippies, but Jenny was so hot I wasn’t even bothered by her dreadlocks.

Anyhow, so when everyone else would go back to their respective homes for Christmas break I would stay in town. I found the empty house much more calming than hanging out with my family.

It took me about five minutes after the last roommate left town for me to come up with the idea to take a look in Jenny’s room to see if she had left any of her panties in the hamper or closet. I don’t usually go around fantasizing about eating out random women’s vaginas but something about Jenny kept me wrapped up for 20 minutes, sometimes just trying to imagine the many looks and textures of her cunt in various states of arousal, how it would taste / smell — that sort of thing.

So the idea of maybe finding a pair of her tiny (dirty) panties with maybe even some smell left on them was a major turn-on, and I was in luck ’cause in her hamper she had about five or six pairs with varying levels of vagina evidence on them. Needless to say I was fucking ELATED! I had a boner so hard I had to rub it through my pants as I finished picking through her hamper and made my way up to my room.

My treasured panties all had their own uniquely lovely attributes:

There was the baby blue pair that still held the contours of Jenny’s labia as if the panties themselves were thinking about her pussy, aching to be near it as much as I was. They held her smell too, though the hold was fragile and I was instantly worried that after a few stiff sniffs the scent might disappear from these altogether.

The pink pair had a few white scuffs at the bottom where her pussy must have warmed itself throughout the day and spread it’s loveliness. Even seeing the marks sent my heart racing, but smelling them was fucking heaven.

Then there was the red pair where I actually found a little pube. I loved these too.

But the purple pair were my favorite by far. These had even more white marks and held her smell a bunch more than the others. I ended up keeping the purple pair under my pillow that week.

I spent the next few days masturbating incessantly with Jenny’s panties over my face, in front of my nose, or in my mouth. I’d picture us fucking graphically in the shower and then me eating out her wet pussy on her bed afterward to my heart’s content — all while I scratched, sniffed, and licked Jenny’s panties like they were the lickable wallpaper in Willy Wonka. I’d cum all over the place, feeling like I’d just won something huge.

For those of you who feel that no pervy deed should go unpunished, you’ll be happy to know that Jenny ended up finding out about all this.

I had a friend who also had a crush on her, and when I saw him next I told him about the panties, then swore him to secrecy. Predictably, he brought it up in front of one of my male roommates, who I then had to let in on it. That roommate told his girlfriend, who also lived with us, and she told Jenny.

Luckily, Jenny thought it was funny and was always super flirty with me after that, which only made me want to eat her vag more. Unfortunately, her panties were the closest I ever got.

-NICK CHAPELLE

No related posts.

This entry was posted on 12.17.09 at 9:00 am by Paul K. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
24 Comments
  1. .......? Says:

    i as a strait male have no desire to stick random panties in my mouth and beat off relentlessly. maybe im more normal than i thought


  2. Zippy Says:

    Why do you block out the girl’s face but subject us to that shaved head Amish guy in the first photo?


  3. homeless. Says:

    hahahahah fuck yes! this is gold.


  4. Malibu Says:

    ….? Total normy, not to mention you’re also a huge dofus my friend!


  5. doobies Says:

    hahahahhaha so great. I love it.


  6. .......? Says:

    @malibu, i dont know what a dofus is, but fuck you anyway


  7. porkbelly Says:

    Im not really feeling the fanny pack.


  8. Charles Says:

    The photo looks like this happened a long time ago.

    I’m not going to say whether I or anyone I know can relate to this story. But it was somewhat entertaining. Um . . . more pictures of Jenny?


  9. Dyke Van Dick Says:

    Jesus John, how horny are you?


  10. MaltLikkaSippa Says:

    funniest shit ive read in a while.


  11. errrrr Says:

    nick chapelle?


  12. vulkoqq Says:

    Like all great literature, this made me feel less alone in the world.


  13. Scientific Feelings Says:

    Hot, lots! ‘er, um,, Nick Chapelle..

    Keep up the good work.


  14. Jimmy Fucking Carter Says:

    what the fuck is a”Total normy.”


  15. UNCLEDADDY Says:

    You shoulda eaten her tampons from the trash, THAT’S SOOOO ROMANTIC.


  16. uncleanlady Says:

    this guy must totally suffer from the devastating clarity of his vision.


  17. UNCLEDADDY Says:

    ^^^ I like the look of your name, you should send me your pants.


  18. uncleanlady Says:

    lol, this post has inspired you to take up a new hobby i take it. good for you. every girl has a soft spot for charming pervs.


  19. clarabobeara Says:

    really? really? really? boys will always be secretly gross 13 year old boys rubbing their boners against raw liver.


  20. UNCLEDADDY Says:

    UNCLEDADDY & uncleanlady
    <<>>

    ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?


  21. UNCLEDADDY Says:

    forever


  22. Katie Says:

    That wasn’t pervy at all. I mean, yes, bad on him that he took her panties without her knowing, but the pro-vagina-ness of it all it just too damn precious. & sexy.


  23. poopsmear Says:

    keep it comin, paul k, keep it comin


  24. Lady Friend Says:

    this IS golden


Leave a Reply

STREET CARNAGE RADIO 07.12.11
ZEBRA KATZ MIXTAPE: CHAMPAGNE

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

STREET BONER 1681

Looks like Dora the Explorer is all growed up and ready to party!

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1680

This is just as ridiculous as BeyoncĂ© doing shampoo ads for “blondes.”

★★★★★★★★★☆

STREET BONER 1679

Meet the exception to the “Women are attracted to confidence” rule.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

STREET BONER 1678

When I’m mayor, brass knuckles will no longer be illegal but short hair and flats will.

★★★★★★★★☆☆