STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE

This video was filmed at a place where no one has exercised in about a year, maybe more, unless you count making a curling motion with a beer from waist to mouth area all night long.

But that’s the beauty behind this amazing workout. Everybody fucks, whether it’s hot or cold out, whether there’s a fucking tornado going on outside your door, whether you’re a fat pig or an anorexic mental patient. I have a 400 pound friend who gets more pussy in one year than your mom.

Also, TIP: If you’re going to videotape your friend’s video, don’t be an idiotic super retard about it. OK, so maybe you didn’t go to film school, or maybe you didn’t even graduate high school. But they make video cameras that are easy enough for monkeys with downs syndrome to use now. So fucking get your head out of your ass, shit for face, and keep the camera still. Also, don’t laugh your creepy cackle into the speaker, you total dick in every genre of dickdom. You even cut off the first few words of the sketch because you were too busy making mouth love to a Twinkie when the video started. I told you to be ready, you complete waste of any existing thing.

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This entry was posted on 01.23.09 at 11:49 am by Jessica Delfino. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

22 Comments

Captain Obvious Says:

I hate these drama club types.

01.23.09 at 12:12 pm
Toe surgeon Says:

Fucking camel toe ahoy!

01.23.09 at 12:18 pm
Mike Says:

I want to meet this 400-lb. man who gets so much pussy. I also want to meet these woman, and a totally new life while I’m at it.

01.23.09 at 12:28 pm
Vincent Dermody Says:

this episode of saturday night live was a little funnier than last week’s. fred armison really delivers the laughs during the sexy stretch sequence.

01.23.09 at 12:49 pm
b Says:

That’s some fuckin art shit.

01.23.09 at 1:01 pm
Dick Butkus Says:

This does not make me feel good about sexual intercourse.

01.23.09 at 1:20 pm
Coral Reefs For Cheeks Says:

(to commenters) You sad and angry fetus brains are really too cool for this world. You should kill yourselves and go to a better, cooler place. Don’t wait, do it TODAY!

01.23.09 at 1:24 pm
Ms. Toe Says:

Where I come from, camel toe is a sign of welcome.

01.23.09 at 1:30 pm
drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something Says:

ever notice how the writers on the site always try to sound like gavin and fail?

01.23.09 at 3:48 pm
jimmy says Says:

I’d stack em up and play tick tack hole

01.23.09 at 3:55 pm
asdf Says:

holy shit, that was unbearable

01.23.09 at 5:23 pm
danny Says:

Anything to wear leopard print tights, reeboks, and head bands.

01.23.09 at 5:23 pm
ur doing it rong Says:

Hey, Coral Reefs For Cheeks, it’s still some fuckin art shit.

01.23.09 at 5:46 pm
SHITCOCK Says:

I’VE SEEN A COUPLE THINGS THAT WERE FUNNY IN MY DAY, SO I FEEL COMFORTABLE SAYING THIS WASN’T.

ALSO SOMEHOW IT MANAGED TO NOT GIVE ME AN ERECTION, WHICH IS AMAZING BECAUSE EVEN LISA EDELSTEIN ON HOUSE DOES.

01.23.09 at 6:25 pm
man Says:

when unattractive drama nerds talk about sex, it’s like when sixteen year-olds talk about being “hardcore”. who fucking believes them?

01.23.09 at 6:47 pm
drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something Says:

I have noticed that, cocksucker. Now come up with your own childish name.

01.23.09 at 6:49 pm
Satan Davis Jr. Says:

these prostitues are on some wack shit.

01.23.09 at 7:36 pm
fizzlebottom Says:

Jessica Delfino may not be the hottest girl out there, but I still want to fuck her until her vagina breaks.

01.23.09 at 8:44 pm
Godfrey Jones Says:

Yeah. I couldn’t get through that. I’m actually worried my roommates think less of me now.

01.23.09 at 11:27 pm
penisbreath ombudsman Says:

i’m 2:40 in, and they’re not naked. i’m outta here.

01.24.09 at 6:39 pm
JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL) Says:

WELL TODAY’S YOUNGER GENERATION OF “WOMYN” HAS REALLY “THROWN OF THE SHACKELS” AND IT JUST GOES TO SHOW BY WATCHING THIS VIDEO BECASUE THIS OBVIOSULY AI’NT YOUR MOMMA’S GENERATION RIGHT HERE!! YOWZA. BUT ANYWAY IF YOU DO’NT THINK THIS IS FUNNY YOU ARE A LOOSER, RIGHT SWEET CHECKS?

01.26.09 at 12:41 am
SEPT POL Says:

The Scott Thompson channeling on “silly bitch” = 1st runner up
The race-gag handicapped line = Ding ding ding!!!

PS: It’s called FUN, it’s not gonna steal your girlfriend or nothin’.

01.26.09 at 8:43 pm

STREET BONER 1681

Looks like Dora the Explorer is all growed up and ready to party!

E-mail it! | 4 Comments

STREET BONER 1680

This is just as ridiculous as Beyoncé doing shampoo ads for “blondes.”

E-mail it! | 7 Comments

STREET BONER 1679

Meet the exception to the “Women are attracted to confidence” rule.

E-mail it! | 13 Comments

STREET BONER 1678

When I’m mayor, brass knuckles will no longer be illegal but short hair and flats will.

E-mail it! | 11 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.