STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL MY VACUUM CLEANER TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL MY VACUUM CLEANER TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT

Dude, fucking RELAX. You’re a vacuum cleaner, okay? You get lint and dead skin particles out of carpets. You’re not at NASCAR. You’re not a super hero. You don’t save babies from burning buildings. You’re a vacuum cleaner. Take your sunglasses off and stop trying to fuck my wife. No one thinks you quote unquote rock.

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This entry was posted on 01.20.09 at 12:29 pm by Gavin McInnes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

18 Comments

Bob Dylan's left nut Says:

Look at that fucking thing! Which brewery sponsors it?

01.20.09 at 12:52 pm
fuck you, penguin Says:

what is this, that show 30 rock? why am i being subjected to jokes stolen from other people’s blogs?

01.20.09 at 1:04 pm
dual edge lover Says:

Wow, that vacuum has “dual edge” cleaning technology.

01.20.09 at 1:06 pm
laaaaaaaaaame Says:

yeah, we’ve all seen fuck you penguin before. just cuz you change it to “fuck you vacuum cleaner” doesn’t mean you made it up.

01.20.09 at 1:44 pm
i fucked my housemates sister on friday night Says:

People will pay good money for hoovers on ‘roids with ‘turbo balls’ and ‘deep suck action’

You did anyway.

01.20.09 at 1:50 pm
Loomis Says:

Put that shit on your balls, bitch.

01.20.09 at 2:01 pm
Jorge Negro Says:

gavin was stoned when he came up with this bit.

01.20.09 at 2:53 pm
guy Says:

What? I hadn’t heard of “Fuck You, Penguin” until right now, when one of you mentioned it. I Just looked it up. It’s reasonably funny, but if you’re under the impression that that blog has a patent on comically angry derision at oblivious animals / inanimate objects, please don’t try to comment on anything. What we have here is a splendid entry in a beloved comedy staple that’s been around for ages. In fact, this isn’t even the same thing as that penguin thing. That’s schtick and this is witty observational humor combined with schtick, which is a DO, a total Street Boner.

I’m sure something similar goes for whatever that one dude perceived as 30 Rock ripping off something he liked. Some people need to get a better idea of how funny works.

01.20.09 at 2:58 pm
kafy Says:

your suck device kind of looks like a high-powered blender that once contained a milkshake or a coke float. When’s the last time you drank a coke float?

01.20.09 at 3:18 pm
i fully enjoy, Says:

my vaccum. mine comes with a little duster attached to it. for those hard-to-reach places. the little duster is automatically cleaned when you stick it into its home on the vacuum’s holster. a vaccum that vacuums itself, nibble on that.

01.20.09 at 4:02 pm
do you own, Says:

10 dogs or something?

01.20.09 at 4:08 pm
??? Says:

IKEA rug!

01.20.09 at 5:57 pm
loser Says:

wow. what a waste of internet space this is.

01.20.09 at 7:14 pm
trust funded Says:

hahaah. I don’t know why everyone is getting their knickers in a twist cos that was funny.

01.20.09 at 8:31 pm
Hangin' With Mr. Cooper Says:

Don’t worry i know Cole,He always goes the high side

01.20.09 at 9:43 pm
dim sum Says:

This is why I pay Puerto Ricans to lick my floors clean.

01.21.09 at 10:31 am
Christian Lipschits Says:

I was just about to call the shit I just took “easy empty”, but now that it’s been trade marked I’m fucked.

01.21.09 at 12:28 pm
Anonymous Says:

u have 2 much muney

01.22.09 at 12:27 pm

STREET BONER 1682

There’s a certain look girls have where you can just tell her boyfriend sucks and you could probably sweep her off her feet.

E-mail it! | 4 Comments

STREET BONER 1681

Looks like Dora the Explorer is all growed up and ready to party!

E-mail it! | 7 Comments

STREET BONER 1680

This is just as ridiculous as Beyoncé doing shampoo ads for “blondes.”

E-mail it! | 7 Comments

STREET BONER 1679

Meet the exception to the “Women are attracted to confidence” rule.

E-mail it! | 16 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.