The show must go on…
- Noel fucking Coward
What do Sonia Sotomayor and I have in common? We’re both bitter, uppity darkies with massive fucking agendas and a cock-ton of street smarts.
Just joking about the street smarts – Sotomayor may have grown up in the PJ’s, but if she spent the whole time upstairs studying, she probably couldn’t spot 5-0 if she was getting DP’ed by Tango AND Cash.
No, the most obvious thing we have in common is that we’re both affirmative action babies.
Listen, I’m not ashamed to admit it, and neither is Soto:
“I got into a New York City high school that I never could have got into if I had been white. My test scores were lower than the rest of my classmates.”
“I got into an excellent college that I never could have got into if I had been white. My test scores were lower than the rest of my classmates.”
“I won’t go so far as to say that got my job cause because I’m black, but having an ‘articulate’ black face in the company roster sure didn’t hurt, especially in the late 1990’s.”
Now, there’s three things I’ve learned not to discuss with my white friends: The Beastie Boys, OJ Simpson, and Affirmative Action.
(OJ Simpson dropped off the list when I grew out of my black panther phase in like 2002.)
Traditionally, Affirmative Action is the thing that pisses white people off MORE THAN ANY OTHER TOPIC! Affirmative Action makes Heidi Klum taking it from the midnight-black shapeshifter look like a Billy Joel concert. Affirmative Action is ENRAGING TO WHITES.
Here’s the thing – I don’t blame you. It’s completely and totally unfair. Why should I benefit from something because of the color of my skin? That’s RACIST, right? Right?
And it’s worse because most Black people do NOT know how to justify Affirmative Action. They’re just like:
“I had to sit through slavery muthafucka and Jim Crow bitch. The worst your ass can do is sit through a muthafuckin job interview to find one where there ain’t no black applicants!”
To which the white response is:
“Yeah but Laquita, you were born in 1981.”
That’s a RETARDED way of justifying Affirmative Action. Let me show you the appropriate way:
“I appreciate what you’re doing. America appreciates it – and your children will appreciate it too – and here’s why: By you sitting through a little bit of racism on this end – and yes, it is racism – you will create an America of the future that is more balanced. You can see it happening already – Sonia Sotomayor wouldn’t be where she is without it – neither would I. So I appreciate the sacrifice because it is a sacrifice you’re making. So thanks.”
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2 Short.
07.16.09 at 12:10 pm
I’ve been crying for 2 days and I needed this. The DP line killed me and got me over the hump. thanks bn <3
07.16.09 at 12:14 pm
Oh Laquita, when will you learn?
07.16.09 at 12:17 pm
Easy for you to say – you’re not the one getting passed over and dicked over for less qualified ungrateful and bitter dickheads
07.16.09 at 12:18 pm
Gimme a fucking break with this Air America bullshit
07.16.09 at 12:26 pm
when i read the last paragraph i realized that blognigger is probably smarter than me. dang. now i feel bad. tx you jerk.
07.16.09 at 12:28 pm
Love it. I would personally like to take moment to thank my parents for giving me a racially ambiguous name. The number of job interviews that I’ve wanted to shout “I gotcha!” after seeing the interviewers face has outweighed my sadness at never having a nickname like “Tee Tee” or “Niqua”.
07.16.09 at 12:30 pm
I think it’s pretty obvious that:
White males = earned everything they have on merit and hard work.
Non Whites and Females = given everything they have because they are non white or female.
07.16.09 at 12:30 pm
You’re welcome.
07.16.09 at 12:40 pm
don’t mention it.
07.16.09 at 12:43 pm
you’re assuming that most people think sotomayor is a wise choice. they don’t, and i’m not talking just the repukes.
07.16.09 at 12:48 pm
I saw a girl named Malaria working at McDonalds.
It was perfect.
07.16.09 at 12:49 pm
I hope we get a government full of darkies with low qualifications.
Maybe we can have a government as excellent as all those countries in Africa.
07.16.09 at 12:56 pm
it is super annoying watching that line of white men question-attacking her in their smug motherfuckin white man tones of voice. shut up whitey!
07.16.09 at 12:58 pm
You tell ‘em, imyar.
Rumor has it that Jon Kyl heaved a novelty sized bottle Cholula at Sonia while experiencing an episode of “white rage”. Fortunately Sonia, hands calloused from years of tortilla baking, palmed the bitch straight out of the air. She then approached the senator and proceeded to beat him with a strap.
07.16.09 at 1:12 pm
I guess it all depends on how one defines “Hispanic,” but if you leave Spanish people in the equation, Benjamin Cardozo, a Supreme Court justice appointed in the 1930s, was actually the first hispanic to serve on the SC. He was a Sephardic Jew descended from Spanish and Portugese people on both sides of his family.
Another thing you guys have in common? Both gay, maybe?
07.16.09 at 1:23 pm
Excellent…EXCELLENT!!!
07.16.09 at 1:30 pm
That last paragraph = you being as dumb as Sonia Sotomayor.
07.16.09 at 1:38 pm
If you’re equal, work to prove it. Don’t take fucking
handouts, and if you do, at least stop preaching in my poor white face.
07.16.09 at 1:39 pm
We need affirmative action going the other way. Let’s let some white folks cut in line on the dole queue. Let’s get out there and encourage white people to have 11 babies and charge the government for ALL of it. That way our nation will become more “balanced” much faster.
07.16.09 at 1:41 pm
wait a second.
this is completely wrong.
i dont trust you or your argument because it has a thick shiny coat of ignorant thinking all over it.
ok when people talk about affirmative action they will always place minorities in a sub-par category, as if it is totally impossible that AA could in fact help a few people out.
The fact that people really do think its about putting a retarded nigger in a position that a highly qualified white angel could otherwise do is completely ignorant. But here is the kicker, the original intent was to offset racist thinking. But like all things involved with humans, it got raped and its image changed.
I am convinced that whites are just as whiny as black people when things don’t go their way. The math is that blacks in the states are about 13-14% of the population. Even if every black person in the the united states got a job because of AA there would still be a gazillion other jobs out there.
Furthermore, its pretty gotdamned baby-like to cry over a rule used to help outsiders while the whole game is in your favor.
07.16.09 at 1:43 pm
also…..i just used black people as the most obvious minority group. insert, bitches or beaners or what ever to make it work….
07.16.09 at 1:44 pm
IQ
07.16.09 at 1:45 pm
no one has a prob with asians in the work place.
07.16.09 at 1:46 pm
If I need emergeny surgery, I want Dr. Affirmative Action at the knife. Why? Because whenever I look at that jagged scar and think of the crack pipe he left in my small ntestine, I’ll be reminded of how beautiful this country really is.
07.16.09 at 1:48 pm
your welcome niggers.
07.16.09 at 1:52 pm
fuckin hell that picture is funny
07.16.09 at 1:54 pm
fuck your sad justification of affirmative action and fuck you. how about “thanks blacks for being slaves our young country needed some labor but now that rich people are ok with it you’re freeeeee.” same limp-dick argument.
sotomayor went to yale so she isn’t exactly pounding tortillas or selling mini guitars in nogales. also she looks like the oracle from the matrix. of course you asshole gladhanding shitheels think she’s wise and pat yourselves on the back for being amazing. you saw her tell neo what to do!
07.16.09 at 1:59 pm
booty clap dick trigger:
I am being totally straight faced and serious:
Do you realize that your comment is completely incoherent and impossible to understand?
07.16.09 at 2:01 pm
Mo Bitter, highly likely, im hunover, hungry and im at work. so posting to streetboners is not unlike jail sex; i have to do it quickly, finish fast and hope no one saw it go down, meanwhile, i get to feel guilty about doing what i needed to do.
07.16.09 at 2:07 pm
a very marxist argument–good work!
oh and spanish doesn’t equal hispanic, sorry
07.16.09 at 2:09 pm
Hey, anytime. My test scores were high and my pizza delivery job and bartending gig paid my way through college for me, so I was just as lucky as you were.
07.16.09 at 2:10 pm
this whole essay , your point of view and this racism filled little shitty corner you just created . all blows . i didn’t even grew up here . i came for my school . i was 19 when i set foot here . and i am amazed fuckin , shocked , in awe to all you fuckers attitude .
like any of you ass wipes had a choice of what race you wanted to be . like it was asked to you ? you own your race like you went and bought it . you put it on and said . yeah i really like this puerto rican shit . ohh maybe ill be black thou . they get to be lazier and you know welfare doesn’t hurt . than you own it . every fuckin tiny stereo type that comes with it . fuck that . what is this .
i thought you were smarter than this . write something worth to read next time , won’t you . oh yeah , make fun of the poor girls english since its only my third language . cheers .
07.16.09 at 2:28 pm
I have zero problem with affirmative action for native born blacks and native Americans. The rest of you can fuck off. No Italians, Irish, Jews, Hunkies, etc. ever got affirmative action in this country, so why the fuck should the new wave of voluntary immigrants get it? It makes no sense.
07.16.09 at 2:40 pm
hey lord chuchenstein are you fking stupid?? That’s exactly what we do say to black people!!! Thanks for the slavery fuckers, now are we cool?
07.16.09 at 2:44 pm
White people who haven’t worked hard enough to distinguish themselves amongst their minority competitors love to use AA as a convenient excuse for their failures. GET SHIT DONE AND BE A BETTER PERSON, FUCKING WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Also… just because AA gets you in the door at some great school or job DOES NOT have anything to do with how well you perform there. If you didn’t deserve the opportunity, you will fail on your account. So when these folks end up doing really well, mother fuck AA. They earned whatever happened afterwards.
07.16.09 at 2:52 pm
if your white n u want to be special n complain about discrimination all the time just do what selfish, whiny caucasians have been doing for millennia : convert to judaism.
07.16.09 at 2:53 pm
Sotomayor has agreed with Republican colleagues 95 percent of the time. She has ruled for the government in 83 percent of immigration cases, against the immigration plaintiff. She has ruled for the government in 92 percent of criminal cases. She has denied race claims in 83 percent of the cases and has split evenly on employment cases between employer and employee.
07.16.09 at 3:04 pm
In Chinna we superier so neve r needing the AFFIRMETIVE ACTIONS for job or scholing. Never because of superier to USA.
Most of HEORINE manufacturr in world come not for Afganistans or Colombia but from CHINA for poison to “yankee” Americans.
You are warrned.
From Preck!
07.16.09 at 3:05 pm
ew <3’s preck 4evr
07.16.09 at 3:08 pm
Well thanks for your candour blognigger. In return, I would like to thank you and your brethren for YOUR sacrifice(s) on behalf of the cotton and tobacco industries.
07.16.09 at 3:19 pm
Uhhhh, it’s “candor” genius
07.16.09 at 3:31 pm
I’m sorry you didn’t like the way I spelled/spelt candor/candour. Retard.
07.16.09 at 3:44 pm
aa still too much work? tired of getting a good job ahead of more qualified people, and having to prove yourself afterward ? come to canada and file a human rights complaint; it’s so much easier to get paid here!
ps- the comments section is turning into a skull-fucking spelling bee; fuck off already smarty-pantseseses.
07.16.09 at 3:56 pm
The best aspects of this Sotomayor debacle is that:
a) it’s becoming clear that everyone outside the major cities thinks that Puerto Ricans are the same as Mexicans – eating tortillas, listening to ranchero, etc.
b) with Obama as president, as with the gays, teh blacks have kicked their Latin homies in the face right on down the hierarchy, after so many years of the less-darkys being slightly ‘less threatening’ – the joke acceptability has increased tenfold
c) everyone is worried that she is looking out for Hispanic interests – isn’t that why they put Thurgood Marshall in there waaaayyyy back? Isn’t it about trying to create the illusion of non-whites’ viewpoints being represented? Isn’t this what all you hipster-yuppie homo rainbow of friends want? I mean, Obama seems to be going way out of his way to hire anyone who isn’t white into every position, much like your brunches where you all want only one person of each race to place in your gay menagerie…
d) she’s not Mexican – don’t worry about the borders flying open or your illegal help getting raises. PR’s hate Mexicans just as much as everyone else, and maybe, just maybe she’ll help us get rid of those dirty Dominicans once and for all.
07.16.09 at 4:22 pm
She belongs to the National Council of La Raza (“the race”). I believe it’s fair to assume she lumps all Hispanics together.
07.16.09 at 4:49 pm
Bad assumption – it would then follow that any NAACP affirmative action members lump themselves together…yeah, there’s no inner-racial hatred going on there. Our inner-city black population and off-the-boat Haitians get along beautifully, eh? But, considering most white people judge them the same, they band together for the greater good.
07.16.09 at 5:37 pm
I’d hit it.
07.16.09 at 5:46 pm
Affirmative Action saved my no SAT takin’ ass. I nap at work and lift shit from everyone I can. I have so many “baby mommas” I lose count (ha, if I could count, rite?). All white, doy!
Thank you white, liberal guilt. You are the bricks upon which my kingdom of leisure is constructed!
07.16.09 at 6:08 pm
@fik
how fuckin dare you come to my country – which brought my ancestors’ ASS over as a slave, and start judging what sorts of restitution and compensation is due to African Americans for the fact that our familys were ripped apart and destroyed to ***build this country***
You came here of your own choice you big slovakian dummy – and your probalyt white too – you have these privleges and then you think you can tell ME what the fuck? Bitch you’re lucky I’m behind a computer right about now.
07.16.09 at 6:53 pm
butter face.
07.16.09 at 7:01 pm
It would seem that DASH was the cherry on the sunday that Pinky prophesied. God’s punishment for Gavin being a sadistic, lazy, cowardly, bully. Revenge is sweet.
07.16.09 at 7:13 pm
Whatever black slaves built, it was entirely and thoroughly demolished in the Civil War. So let’s end the nonsense about them “building this country.” You don’t build a country picking cotton, ‘K?
Exploited workers of all colors built this country, but there was nothing left of the South after the Civil War. And the North obviously had more wealth and industrial might, or they wouldn’t have won the war. And lots of the North’s wealth was built by 5-year-old white kids laboring 20 hours a day in New England factories.
Jesus Christ, you’re all so predictably wrong about everything.
07.16.09 at 7:45 pm
@ damien
jesus, that’s almost scary
07.16.09 at 8:50 pm
every black person i ever had the pleasure of working with in the corporate jungle was blatantly lazy and proud of it. they also spelled like first-graders. that’s my experience with aa.
07.16.09 at 8:56 pm
the chinese always worked like they were afraid of being beaten if they didn’t reach quota. they were by far the hardest-working minority group. the indians always seemed possessed of high intellectual ability but they came across as a bit arrogant and were also terribly messy in the workplace.
07.16.09 at 9:05 pm
blacks and hispanics can’t be “racist” only the Ruling Class (crackers) can possibly be racist
07.16.09 at 10:10 pm
the probbelm Derrik is that you ARE inferier. even more inferier then avverage USA mans (or even womans too]. so you needing the afriican action programs to helping you to be equal but youa re still BLACK mans in USA.
I study your historrys and initial pressidents have SLAVES like Washington and Jeferson and Franklin too.
SLAVES. see? do you understand? not of equal at all.
From Preck!
07.16.09 at 10:22 pm
I’m tired of race. Having to think about it at all is a fucking nightmare. It’s a drag. Can I just get some more tips on how to take good shits or something?
07.16.09 at 10:39 pm
It all means nothing. If the good-ole boys club running things (the same one that’s been running things since Holy Roman times) decides you’re in and you suckle from their teet, these days it makes no difference which global path your personal genetic code shows it took.
07.17.09 at 12:17 am
Blognigger, if pressed, would tell the truth.
Fact is, he’s smart enough to have “made it” without a damn thing, assistance-wise.
His writing’s hilarious. There’s a market for that, especially from a black guy who talks shit to all the right people. Affirmative Action might have made it happen a little faster.
07.17.09 at 4:30 am
“Now, there’s three things I’ve learned not to discuss with my white friends: The Beastie Boys…”
why?
07.17.09 at 7:44 am
” my country – which brought my ancestors’ ASS over as a slave”
If your original “country” was actually a “country” instead of a prehistoric hodgepodge of tribal warfare, maybe this never would have happened.
Your “ASS,” most likely, was sold by an enemy tribal chieftain to get the whole process started. Be brave for one minute and tell the whole story.
07.17.09 at 7:58 am
Cunt Rag is right. Nobody has a problem with asians in the workplace. Obama told all us nigras at the NAACP that the problem is education. The rice-eaters send their fucking kids to after-school test prep and saturday classes so they can get into Stuyvesant. In short, chinamen don’t have a problem because they, as a unit, more or less stay in line and are good at math.
07.17.09 at 8:54 am
Remember that old analogy about how if you’re a right-handed person, and you want to make yourself ambidextrous, you have to use your left hand more than your right hand for the same amount of time that you let your right hand run things in order for both hands to be equal? Yeah it’s kinda bullshit.
PS preck is awesome. I would read preck’s blog.
07.17.09 at 12:15 pm
dearest beardedfuckbitch ,
i wonder what you are reading lately , and how you fill up empty time around . are you artistic at all , i paint you know , i like courbet a lot, i think he kinda understood what the real realism was like antinio lopez garcia and sort of like dash snow . i think i am gonna paint a portrait of dash . and give to another painter friend who is really bummed for his passing , so where were we again ohh yeah you were fucking stupid !
holy fucking jesus shit , did you even understand a fucking word of what the fuck i was talking about . oh wait i really dont think you have the brain juice for that . you didn’t get it . dumb fuck .go read it again . and than maybe again and again until you say”- oooo she meant that this racism in america has been hidden under the carpets , away from the image of the mighty united states so when somebody comes here from over there ( can you tell i am dumbing this down for you !) they are fucking shocked with how much racism every day actions are filled with ! when they feel alone because no one fucking says “-hi ” to them because but just because of this idea that they have been fed for so long that now they themseleves believe in it . racism .
soo i should maybe go say hi to my armenian neigboor and not be a fucking stereo type ! oh yeah she has a point , no body picks their own fucking race so how can i be proud with something i had no control over to begin with .
i am sorry i dont have one fuckin cell in my body that understands things like fasism , race , color, nationality, religion , god ! so maybe thats why when you get all stupiiid like i get a bit worked up but hey all good in the hood .
i am not even gonna touch the rest of the word salad you wrote , how dare me . oh shut the fuck up . and me being a slovakian ! where the fuck did you get that from ???
love
yours truly
fik .
07.17.09 at 1:37 pm
Affirmative action is like the Special Olympics. If you win the gold medal, you’re still a retard.
07.18.09 at 1:55 am
Shit I love to see commentors coming around putting up their straw men & knocking ‘em down. Fuck backpacks, these kids have fucking SUVs to unpack.
07.18.09 at 10:45 am
smells like jim goads relentless tough-guy / girl internet crusaders for truth & whiterness around here these days.
i thought that was a great article, the last paragraph was beautiful. im not even sure that im a proper white person since i dont seem to harbor any deep seated racial resentment or guilt, but i thought it was a cool post.
also this: “every black person i ever had the pleasure of working with in the corporate jungle was blatantly lazy and proud of it. they also spelled like first-graders. that’s my experience with aa.”
..dude thats my experience with AUSTRALIANS. never mind black people, work on eradicating the australian stain on the white race and then u can look at other ethnic groups. being forced to spend extended periods of time with australians will make you LOVE all other racial groups.
i wonder if even half the commenters on here have ever left the united states, or their parents house for that matter.
its like a club for 14 years old white boys who are scared to actually be racist out loud.
i dont think you even know what you’re angry about..
07.20.09 at 3:26 am
I think it’s neat. You don’t hear much about race these days.
07.21.09 at 10:31 pm
Dawns and Dons-
Australians! Har! The rednecks of the southerns hemispheres!
The Georgians of the South Pacifics.
07.22.09 at 11:31 pm
BN-
This would be more profound if you weren’t white.
07.22.09 at 11:44 pm
got me
08.07.09 at 8:59 pm
Dear TL and TT,
I feel bad for you TL. Dirty Dominicans? Thats a generalization. Sort of like saying all puertoricans are butt of all jokes, ignorant, racist, etc. Unfortunately, there is something wrong with all races and we tend to deny it. There is no perfect race. BTW the smartest woman and teacher I ever had was from Puerto Rico, and yes, I am Dominican.
There is a real big problem with racial identity issues, intelligence and culture in our Dominican and Puerto Rican community. We must address these issues.
For TT, you ignorant boy, how sad. Who runs shit in this world? Who has brought the US to its knees? Their own white politicians. You can think minorities are shit all you want. You can even blame it all on Barry. However, treason comes from white minds and hands. When this ship sinks, we all know who did it and why.
We must love one another and work on fixing our problems whether they are imagined or genetic.
Stop praising corrupt institutions and the monkey sellouts who jump through hoops and join shady clubs in order to be accepted in this CULTure we call the world.
BTW being lazy at work at corporations that pimp us out is actually smart, but most of you worker bee slaves would not understand that.
Affirmative Action is a useless joke. It just gives the poor white, battered, marginalized white man more to complain about. What race are the people in charge? What color are the money changers? Traders make millions, name one prominent Hispanic or Black trader (not broker)? Yet white people feel as if they are victims.
What color where the slave owners? The college professors that impoverish ALL of us to repeat 2 years of High School and only learn 30 credits worth of our majors? You idiots are enslaved on this planet because of the things you strive for, ACADEMICS, GOVT and BULLSH*T.
Most geniuses are self taught, not indoctrinated p*ssies with piece of sh*t degrees from racist mental institutions called College.
Bill Gates- College Dropout
Kanye West- College Dropout (self made millionaire as well!)
Einstein- Horrible Grades while in school
Michael Dell- Yup, COLLEGE DROPOUT
Larry Ellison- COLLEGE DROPOUT
To all of you Kool Aid drinkers who are high on Affirm. Action…Do you know how many people this woman had to f*ck over in order to be accepted? Do you even know why Judges wear black?
I am in the effing matrix, so many ignorant people with computers….soooo sad.
I will be proud when a scientist, poet, or liberator of color will get to prominence, not some self admitted moron who clawed her way through these racist dog and pony shows gets accepted into the same supreme court that allows millions of people to suffer in jail for stupid sh*t like smoking plants, while smoking other plants that cause cancer are LEGAL (tobacco).
08.25.09 at 5:17 pm