
We’re going to Salt Lake City to teach the Mormons about train surfing and being an asshole. Of course, no Mormons are invited to any of the movies. Only chubby Jewish men with big jackets and their heads shaved so short you’re not supposed to notice they’re bald. We are not going to bring scarves as a silent protest to all the assholes who keep their fucking scarves on even when they’re inside and they’re just wearing a t-shirt. We’ll also be secretly scratching anyone who wears those stupid Peruvian wool hats with the ear flaps. It’s going to be a rough 3 days as far as eyes go.
“Asshole” is here.

“Sanza Hanza” is here.
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i live in salt lake. maybe i’ll see you there. and besides, it isn’t that bad here, look at the people on the real world as proof. they show that utah is not only mormons and trend whores. oh wait.
01.15.09 at 8:03 pm
The Jews gave the Park City Pirus the green light on Street Carnage crew.
01.15.09 at 8:09 pm
I’ve got one nugget of advice for you. BYOB. It is hard to get a drink in that town especially at 3am. It’s also the best skiing in the country. And no I’m not talking about coke.
01.15.09 at 8:17 pm
Oooh. Thanks for the tip. I am going to LOAD UP at the airport.
01.15.09 at 8:30 pm
I got mad cousins there, if u need a dealer or a repo man hit me up. Go to the Red Iguana, it’s yumtown.
01.15.09 at 8:35 pm
The guy at the top – You must get into a lot of fights because your nose is FUCKED.
01.15.09 at 10:05 pm
gavin looks like the father of the short story.
01.15.09 at 11:09 pm
a car drove the the red iguana the day after my family was there over christmas
01.16.09 at 1:33 am
^what?^
it’s the first place I wanna go when i visit slc
01.16.09 at 2:01 am
Gavin! Your Sundance film is featured on our site this week: thebestshortfilmsintheworld.com We interviewed the lads who made it. PS. I loved the film. Good luck in Sundance.
01.16.09 at 10:07 am
when did scarves become a dont? Are they like crocs in that they are always bad or is there some leway?
01.16.09 at 11:16 am
Scarves are fine; it’s cold, you wear one… they’re like gloves. The person writing this sounds like they’re from LA.
01.16.09 at 11:40 am
I heard that no mormon has ever gotten aids. Is that true?
01.16.09 at 12:01 pm
Uhhhh, “when have scarves become a don’t”??? Did you read the article??? He’s just giving shit to those that deserve it, i.e. assholes who wear scarves as a fashion statement instead of a device to keep warm in the winter, i.e. they wear them indoors w/ a t-shirt. Would you wear gloves indoors w/ a t-shirt??? Are you Michael Jackson???
01.16.09 at 12:37 pm
But they said on the news that all the gays are boycotting Sundance this year.
01.16.09 at 12:50 pm
shit, meant to say a car drove INTO the red iguana
01.17.09 at 2:01 am