It’s hard to imagine somebody that would actually read this shit. I mean a person with $12 that willingly reads one of these. Who are these poor fools?

Thin Rich and Happy

Thin, Rich and Happy
There is no way that anybody could read this book in 3 minutes.

Dreaming in Libro

Praise for dreaming in libro

Dreaming in Libro
There are tons of these “love story” novels about animals. The only blurbs on the back are from other female authors that write about pets. Like, “Allison Pace, author of Pug Hill”.

In the Line of Fire

In The Line of Fire: A Memoir
What is it with Pakis and their style? Hey Pervez, could you design an uglier cover, please? PS: nobody reads memoirs. The word “memoir” alone is soporific.

The Power of Body Language

The Power of Body Language
Instead of words, this book is just more pictures of the author.

The Goomba Diet

The Goomba Diet
This one is all about a Goomba and his sandwiches. Somebody helped him write it.

Reposition Yourself

Reposition Yourself
This guy makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Home Girl

Home Girl
There is nothing about this that doesn’t suck.

There when he needs you

There When He Needs You
Can I somehow mail this to my dad 21 years ago?

It aint all about the cookin

It Ain’t All About the Cookin’
You got that right, PD!

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This entry was posted on 08.29.08 at 11:26 am by Sam Metteer. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
12 Comments
  1. neezy Says:

    lafffffff


  2. Bertram Settlemires Says:

    Didn’t Big Pussy die in like the first season of Sopranos? How is he getting so much mileage off that?

    Also, writing book reviews from a book store is awesome.


  3. SMOKIN' BONES Says:

    reposition yourself got me chucklin


  4. HoBO Says:

    That’s not Big Pussy, it’s Bobby Baccala, who dies in the retarded last episode.

    This would be more entertaining if they weren’t all one-liners.


  5. fuck haute couture aka hater bo-baiter Says:

    i read that memoir by musharraf. It was excellent and you’re a dumbass.

    i did laugh at the ’somebody helped him write it’ line concerning the goomba diet.


  6. Emily H. Says:

    OMG “building a dream house on a lawless block.” There appear to be members of the Afro-American community outside, talking on cell phones & wearing tight-fitting clothing? YIKES, BETTER STAY INSIDE THE DREAM HOUSE!


  7. circumcised Says:

    reviews on books no one will ever read, genius.


  8. planner Says:

    When you mention that there are tons of these “love story” novels about animals, are you referring to a bestiality series? Perhaps, by Beeline Books?


  9. iheart Says:

    I myself have thought about venturing into the realms of zoophilia, I just really do love my dog.


  10. billiam5billion Says:

    You know what else is hilarious? The alarming number of femal authors who write about crime-solving cats.


  11. Barry Says:

    this was a funny post


  12. babz Says:

    i fucking hate paula deen. last thanksgiving i had the pleasure of sitting through her entire thanksgiving special. i now know what a “turkduckin” is and pray for the day when i forget.


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