I’m way too broke to pay $750 for an official SXSW badge, and I blew it on the deadline for press passes this year (not to mention the super-limited lodging), so I decided I would just go and see how many free drinks I could grift and barge as many shows as possible. After an 11-hour, Nyquil-blurred sojourn from San Francisco, I managed to somehow secure the last bunk in the only hostel in Austin.
Honestly, the five-person dorm is pretty cozy outside of three X-factors:
1. The Paki (that’s not the right word is it? Indian? Non-American Indian, Indian?) who snores so loud I refuse to believe it’s not physically agonizing for him.
2. This guy, who wouldn’t fucking quit mumbling about Motörhead as he followed me around the facility. He’s Australian, just like most of the other people in the hostel (except for the Paki).
3. The pompous British fuck in the bed beneath me.
I enjoyed a brief nap above aforementioned limey, took a shower, and jumped on the bus bound for 6th Street where I met Jessica.
This was awesome:
There was supposed to be free tequila at Club DeVille, but it never really happened and Jessica was bummmmmed.
But this car was a total upper:
Then my friend Sean dragged me out to this showcase that turned out to be pretty good. The only band we caught was called Fenech Soler. They were kinda like Phoenix, only without vaginas. Super moody, more aggressive, and BONUS: They were all wearing sequins. Their set made the Lone Star taste like Chimay.
On my stumble back to the hostel, I decided to grab a hot-dog ($5).
Thing is, I was too shitcanned to realize that I only had $2 until homegirl had loaded up my sausage with the goods (yeeeeaaahhhh…). She happily gave it to me for free, stuffed the $2 in the tip jar, and agreed to let me take this picture:
Austin rules.
More tomorrow, patna.
Total free drinks to date: 5.
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I loved this!
03.17.10 at 4:15 pm
Ha. The demographics and corresponding behavior types of that hostel sound exactly like those of every hostel I’ve ever been in.
03.17.10 at 4:51 pm
That Hot Dog looks good.
03.17.10 at 4:52 pm
jessica looks beat
03.17.10 at 5:19 pm
jessica is my favorite…if someones keeping track.
03.17.10 at 5:55 pm
Jessica has small hands
03.17.10 at 5:59 pm
I’m positive the Aussie hates your stupid ass too! Teh freez drinks countz, yo. I was soooooooooooooooooooooooo wasterd.
03.17.10 at 6:01 pm
um.. Why didn’t you take me with you?
03.17.10 at 6:04 pm
jessica! i miss you, buddy!!!!
03.17.10 at 6:17 pm
get out of austin asap once this shit show is over, one thing texas does not need is more drunk assholes roaming/driving around. fuck sxsw.
03.17.10 at 6:54 pm
you know that look on a girls face when you first put it in her butt? well jessica seems to have that look.
03.17.10 at 7:26 pm
sure is trying hard to appear confrontational in that picture. The old middle finger, these kids today have no manners what so ever, ouch.
03.18.10 at 1:08 am
i’m sorry you guys i actually take that back. i didnt notice at the time but while i was typing that some dude was slowly pushing this pine cone up my ass. yeah i didnt mean to be so standoffish — it’s out now though so forget what i said and come on through
03.18.10 at 1:35 am
Jessica’s hot.
03.18.10 at 4:27 am
five, five, five dollar hot dogs?
03.18.10 at 5:11 am
I could go for a hotdog. Why am I a vegetarian? Oh yeah, because I’m a stupid pussy.
03.18.10 at 9:06 am
PFFFRR
03.18.10 at 12:04 pm
So – ‘Paki’ isn’t a racist term in Texas?
03.18.10 at 1:57 pm
@Atheist – are you new here? Many of the people here are trying to push your buttons, so congratulations! You won!
03.18.10 at 3:10 pm
@unclaimed smegma – Thanks for clearing that up. This whole post was about pushing racism buttons? I guess I got the wrong end of the stick, I thought it was about SXSW. Without your clarification, I would have wandered for days through the drivelling white noise of nihilist hipster navel-gazing, desperately trying to right the off-kilter post-modern attitudes of futureless art-students and furtive work-shirkers in a one man quest for righteousness and equality.
Fuck.
03.19.10 at 7:23 am
^ Close call
03.19.10 at 9:55 am
you were wasted after 5 drinks??? sxsw is going to kill you.
03.19.10 at 7:17 pm