You blew it again America! I’m not talking about taking Caveman off the air — I’m talking about Canada blowing you out of the gravy with its Thanksgiving throw down! How many of you even bothered to compare your pathetic U.S. Thanksgiving to Canada’s superior one, which occurred over two fortnights ago? We’ve already shat out all that turkey, loon n’ coon, and you are just eating yours? WTF? How many of you even know you missed the party of the century, aka Canadian Thanksgiving? We rocked our Moccs off (moccasins) and pre-blew your turkey’s lil’, pathetic socks off.
All over Moose Jaw (two words) and all the other towns in the Canada country, people were doing all the Thanksgiving things (except for football because Canada has a “welfare” version of that). If only youse guyses could see the sleeves of our hockey jackets brushing up against the free-range turkeys filled with Kraft dinner or hear the lack of praying going on in our atheist nation, you’d stuff yourselves with bullets, in your heads.
Man, I feel so sorry for youse. I adore the robust pleasure of rubbing our superior festivities right in your faces. Watch these clips and experience the power of shame.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving, if you can. Maybe next year guys. Maybe next year.
Check out this message from a REAL man who leads a REAL country! Don’t let his cool, casual demeanor fool you; he’s a caustic, “take it to the mat” wimpy, prick!
Get your balls — eyeballs that is — ready for this feast! I’ll be over here next to the James Dean poster looking smug with my saxophone, flipping my collars up, all while I watch your faces melt from shame. Get ready to feel useless!
DEAL WITH THIS! Thanksgiving from two years ago when we were still reigned Victoria-ous over your crappy festivities.
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Canadians are ateheists?
11.26.09 at 11:53 am
What a pretty desk!
11.26.09 at 11:53 am
I’ve never seen anyone put so much effort into being a self-hating Canadian than you and Gavin.
11.26.09 at 11:58 am
This is a place for homosexuals…
11.26.09 at 12:04 pm
I’m not a Xenophobe I just think America is the Fucking Best! Why do Canadians have Thanksgiving? Is it doused in tradition like our American holiday? Did a boat of French people land in Canada totally unprepared, make friends with the Indians to get food out of them and later trick them into stealing their land?
11.26.09 at 12:21 pm
We are crazy fucking atheists, but for some reason that means that you drink, murder and sin less.
11.26.09 at 12:26 pm
Cadillac, you idiot. Or maybe you’re just trying to be funny…
11.26.09 at 3:48 pm
Elise Dyck has quite the spare tire.
11.26.09 at 4:48 pm
derrick’s posts on the blog are always terrible. dude cant write for shit, his humor doesnt translate to the page.
11.26.09 at 4:48 pm
whats canada?
11.26.09 at 4:49 pm
I thought the background music was her kids videogame before that sad reveal
11.26.09 at 5:28 pm
Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t even celebrated throughout the entire country so it’s bullshit.
http://www.gov.ns.ca/lwd/employmentrights/thanksgiving.asp
11.26.09 at 5:39 pm
HOLY FUCKING DANCING VAGINAS ON THE HEAD OF A NEEDLE, GET READY FOR SOME MOTHERFUCKING MACARONI AND CHEESE COMPARISON:
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/1234711_10046609_mywrite/kraftdinner.jpg
LOOK AT THAT FUCKING BOX ON THE LEFT. IT’S THE CHEESIEST, MOTHERFUCKER.
LOOK AT ALL THAT FAG-ASS FRENCH TEXT ON THE RIGHT. ASS-RAPING HOMO POP-TARTS, THAT’S FUCKING GAYER THAN BEING THE MEAT IN A LIBERACE/TRUMAN CAPOTE SANDWICH.
IF I WANNA CALL IT DINNER, I’LL EAT IT WITH SOME GODDAMN PUSSY-JUICY STEAK. FUCK YEAH.
JUST THE WORD CHEESE IN THE NAME MAKES IT MELT IN YOUR MOUTH LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING MAGICAL FOOD OR SOME SHIT, FUCK I DON’T KNOW
FUCK
11.26.09 at 6:12 pm
‘MERICA is #1 motherfuckers. get that through your hoser minds. eh?
11.26.09 at 6:23 pm
canadian desks rule
11.26.09 at 6:32 pm
Do Canadians go out to WalMart at 3AM on the day after THEIR Thanksgiving to buy cheap shit or is that exclusive to our “culture”?
11.26.09 at 7:08 pm
i love canada. it’s a lot like that girl…an insecure, awkward adult with braces
11.26.09 at 7:40 pm
Seriously fuck canada. we need to solve our own problems by invading that non-country and straight up invade that bitch viking status and turn it into an escape-from-new-york-style prison to be run by the only worthwile aspect of that god-forsaken wastelend, candian bikers. those guys are bad ass. even with the french accents. or maybe because of the french accents.
11.26.09 at 7:59 pm
Where’s the “oh my following” ending in the videos?
11.26.09 at 8:32 pm
Not just for faggots anymore.
11.26.09 at 9:32 pm
i am living it, loving it. poopiies in my mocs (moccasins)
11.27.09 at 12:29 am
Canada has been Americanizing for decades. It’s not the Canada that was once superior to the USA, its a watered down country now…with most cities being just a like an American city, but without the mass amount of people and overzealous police/sheriff departments. So, still a lot less ignorance, but ultimately the same. It’s the Wal-mart culture.
And, Moose Jaw is two words.
11.27.09 at 1:24 am
A black guy who wants to be white is also an American that wants to be Canadian. Love yourself Beckles, you are a good person.
But, onwards I go…even the Canadian school systems are as bad as American, nowadays. Sure, in the American ghettos, the folks prefer not to go to school, but at least they have a reason. The weather is warm enough to sit on the stoop and shoot people. Western civilization is too busy giving thanks for the shit world thats been created for them, instead of realizing that there is nothing to be thankful for. Wait! I take that back…there’s a sale on a Walmart. (cheers Mr. k)
11.27.09 at 12:53 pm
canada will never be america fuckin accept it already no matter how many chain restaurants we plunk down. RUSH RULES!
11.27.09 at 2:01 pm
Sarah Palin say’s to “Keep the Faith” that one day hopefully the Canadian health care system will be more like the American one.
http://crooksandliars.com/bluegal/sarah-palin-wants-dismantle-canadian-healt
Keep the faith people, Keep the faith.
11.27.09 at 5:34 pm
ohya? at least we have ketchup chips. and as for some of youz guyzes canada hating…. we dont even give a care cuz we’re smokin doobs and not getting arrested for it every 5 minutes, our money is prettier, we’re not fattys and our beer is better. don’t hate us because we’re beautiful.
11.27.09 at 6:44 pm
Canada: America’s ass-hat.
11.27.09 at 9:48 pm
Peep hole, Peach blow, Pandora, Pompadour
Pale leaf, Pink sweet, Persephone.
Near our rito
Peep peep hole, Bit animal, Peep peep
He didn’t deal, little rito, Peep peep hole
With the part animal, Peep peep, Near our rito
Peep peep hole, Bit animal, Peep peep
He didn’t deal, little rito
Peep? peep hole
With the part animal
Predentive, Predo
Pra-da-da-dee
11.27.09 at 10:03 pm
Dude up^^ there is not Maxwel.
i don’t know why that bothers me.
11.28.09 at 4:30 pm
America – Canada’s toilet. all you fucking shitbirds are good for is making TV movies and porn for us to watch, and as a vacation spot for us to come down and fuck your wife while she’s having your ugly baby. our dick slides past your child as its goobering out your wife but we pull out before the foot clears the cunt so we are technically not pedos, just champs. actually I think we’re in the clear until that jew you’re paying thru the nose snips the cord with his beak
look at all these american faggots who idolise two canadians and check their site every day, but are all hurt because pinky made fun of the stupid holiday they all take soooo fuckin seriously. they trying to be sassy about it but coming across more hurting than Screech (typical american male).
thanksgiving is a harvest festival so it should be in september or early october like our fine canuck holiday.. americans moved their shitty day into the dregs of november when it’s frigid like your sister cos you fingered her and all the crops are deader than dad.. I don’t remember why I think it was for football and because they are all fat pieces of shit? and then they have to go home again like 3 weeks later to suck mom’s dick for christmas.. jingle all the way shitbags
11.29.09 at 12:19 pm
and when I say faggot let me make it clear I mean straight people. your faggots are all right
11.29.09 at 12:20 pm
Derrick,
Are all Black people as white as you in Canada?
11.29.09 at 12:50 pm
blognigger is from NY ^^^fuckhead^^^^
11.29.09 at 1:05 pm
Dear DEMOB Happy,
Please do not try to communicate using written language. It isn’t working for you.
11.29.09 at 4:40 pm
Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT. Canadian PORN? Is there something that differentiates it from American porn?
11.29.09 at 7:19 pm
seriously, fuck canada
11.29.09 at 10:28 pm
What a piece of shit article.
11.29.09 at 10:35 pm
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT. Canadian PORN? Is there something that differentiates it from American porn?”
uh, small uncircumsized cock?
11.29.09 at 10:38 pm
Can anyone tell me who the guy in the picture is? I’m 100% serious when I say that I think it’s my father.
11.30.09 at 2:08 am
@fuck this blog
If you are indeed clueless you will never understand this , so read on…
if you think this is an “article” you are insane. These guys are geniuses at reporting on fun, unimportant but important bullshit randomness and love reactions from the clueless. Does that help?
11.30.09 at 12:59 pm
“…suck mom’s dick for christmas”
@DEMOB Happy:
I’m pretty sure moms can’t have dicks. You’ve obviously been misinformed by those horrible Canadian Sex Ed classes.
11.30.09 at 10:04 pm
RACISM – it’s what’s for dinner.
12.01.09 at 11:35 am