This has been floating around but I couldn’t resist posting it on the off chance nobody’s seen it. Assuming it’s real, it’s one of the most brutally honest things a bottom could ever say to a top. I saw it on Craigslist Seol
“Do you have a drinking problem? Do you believe your crappy childhood exempts you from having to be nice to other people? Is “enraged” the only emotion you are capable of feeling? Do you make twice as much as me, yet still need to borrow money a week after you get paid? If so, I am the lady for you! I’m a queer femme who enjoys being yelled at, ignored, and told what is best for me. I’m short, thin (maybe that will trigger your teenage eating disorder issues! Feel free to blame me!), and smart (unless you find that threatening! In which case I am not as smart as you!). I do have clinical depression, which I manage with medication and, ideally, a steady supply of judgment from you. I’m looking to continue along my current dating path with someone who is immature, unpleasant, and bad at listening. Bonus points if you:
-fetishize my mixed-race background, use it to impress your liberal Korean friends, and know exactly what “my people” are doing wrong
-make “ironic” racist jokes
-are a spoiled-ass mama’s boy
-have no friends of your own, preferring to use me for all of your emotional needs (if you must have your own friends, I would rather you use them to cheat on me and/or commiserate about what a terrible girlfriend I am)
-hate fat people (although I am not fat myself, I love it when people rip on my friends and expect me to agree because of my genetics)
-understand that being an asshole and apologizing for it later is exactly the same as not being an asshole in the first place
-use “non-normatively gendered” as a synonym for “teeming with internalized misogyny”
Hopefully we can build a lasting relationship and maybe move in together so that you can decorate the apartment with old beer cans filled with cigarette butts and containers of half-eaten takeout food covered in fruit flies. Don’t worry, I’ll clean up after you. I’d prefer if you are Korean and middle-class so you can lord it over me all the time. Physical age unimportant as long as you are emotionally 9 years old. Your pic gets mine!!!”
I searched the line:
“Do you make twice as much as me, yet still need to borrow money a week after you get paid?” on google…
And it came up multiple times in numerous postings. It seems that this may have become a bit of a chain letter. The most recent post is on the “The best of craigslist: San Francisco” posted as “Doormat seeks muddy boots.”
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/749878367.html
After reading I immediately replied to the ad with a picture of myself and the words: “Marry Me.” Which no one responded to. I’ve noticed some of the other posts have removed the “Korean Friends” line and replaced it with “White Friends.” I suspect that this has become an instant part of internet lore, dare I say an urban legend. I will dig deeper and see if I can find it’s origin. It would be fucking cool to interview the original poster.
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
dude this is so fake. it’s no good it’s no good
12.05.08 at 5:27 pm
Of course it’s fake. Craigslist suckles at the tit of irony/satire as much if not more than the rest of the internet.
12.05.08 at 11:11 pm
fake eye, I think “chain letter” implies fake. goddamn was it too long for you to read past the bonus points?
12.05.08 at 11:14 pm
beautiful
12.06.08 at 11:35 pm
ive never actually even looked at craigslist, AND i dont know how to work the coffee machine in the cafeteria. todays a new day though, im going to turn over a new leaf and do both.
and some work. a lot of work i think / hope.
12.07.08 at 6:41 pm
craigslist org…
…
12.13.08 at 7:21 pm
Dear Craigslist community! I am a young male unicorn located in London, Ontario who enjoys the romantic and sexual company of both males and females. Lately, I have not been having as much companionship as I would like, so I decided to post an ad and try “online dating”!
My interests are varied and exciting! They include:
* music (I play the glass harmonica)
* interpretive dance
* magic
* caring for my plant friends (that is NOT a subtle intimation that I smoke “weed” just so you know)
* alt-country singer/songwriter Ryan Adams
* writing poetry (often love poetry so if you like romantic poems written about you, you should definitely hook up with me!)
* forensic science
* bubble baths
* Olympic aquatic athletes (particularly the attractive ones so if you swim you should definitely reply to my ad!)
I hope all of you are enticed by this ad, but just in case you need more convincing I have enclosed a photograph of my handsome visage!
I look forward to making your acquaintance.
Much love and joy,
ShimmerShine Moondreams
Unicorn Prince
12.23.08 at 9:26 pm
Your blog is very interresting for me, i will come back here..
05.22.09 at 4:10 pm