The first of a series of investigative reports documenting Gary Coleman’s “beautiful mind” ranging from romance to sex to women to greed, Gary has a succulent opinion. Gary is GOLDEN; twenty-four karat golden to be exact. He is a gift from Heaven. A man who has lived life to its fullest and who can not help but impart his years of wisdom, EVER.
From his immediately recognized catch phrase “What ya wanna do dad” (Often mistaken for ”Yaba Daba Doo Dad!”) to “greed is good” Gary says words. It is as if he is inside of your mind, reading it like a book he just pulled off of the shelf of his personal, expansive library, of books.
So, once again to all women who are punching their fists through panes of glass for not scooping up this treat: HE IS MARRIED! YOU LOSING LOSER THAT DESERVED TO LOSE DUE TO YOUR LOSING INABILITY TO WIN! LOSER!
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HILAR! The files are endless!
PS LOVE WHEN TV ATTACKS!
02.14.08 at 5:10 pm
Oh this is soooooooooooo funny. Lol. Jesus, it was really, really funny. OMG, this was THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER WATCHED. PLEASE STOP, YOU ARE TOO FUNNY! MAYBE YOU CAN HELP GAVIN OUT A LITTLE BIT SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY THE FUNNY ONE.
02.14.08 at 6:07 pm
As a subscriber to Streetbonerstvcarnage.com, in all seriuosness I have to say that the last six articles by Derrick Beckles are the best six articles of the past six years; however, I’ve seen quite a bit of good raw material from Gavin lately. He’s really turned his life around. Fatherhood can do that.
Keep up the good work guys, but mostly Derrick.
02.14.08 at 7:15 pm
At this point Derrick Beckles has basically amassed enough Gary Coleman material to write a doctoral dissertation. Someone please give him a MacArthur grant to further his studies. Like now.
02.14.08 at 10:02 pm
Hats off to Larry? Fuck Larry! My pith helmet is raised for Derrick and his relentless pursuit of Gary. While millions dedicate their lives following the teachings of JC, Derrick has dedicated his life following GC, and teaching millions. Now look who’s laughing. Head writer for streetbonerstvcarnage.com. Does it get any better than that? A man so magnanimous to keep Gavin on despite the blinding overshadow of the Coleman project.
02.15.08 at 10:32 am
I don’t have a lover, but this is the sweetest Valentine I have ever received. Please, kind sir, more Coleman.
All Coleman, all the time!
02.15.08 at 11:19 am
AM I MISSING OUT ON A BIG STREETBONER JOKE?? HIS FAMOUS CATCH PHRASE IS “WHATCHU TALKIN’ BOUT, WILLIS?” OR SO I THOUGHT!! SOMEONE TELL MEEEEE
02.15.08 at 1:06 pm