In real life, I’m friends with exactly one (1) celebrity. I’m not talkin about some Gavin Mcinnis-level jerkoff, I mean a celebrity. I grew up with her on the Upper West Side, and she’s a friend of the family – that pseudo-cousin at the Thanksgiving table that you wish you could fuck.
To make things easier, let’s just call her “Natalie Portman” – it’s not really Natalie Portman, but close enough: she’s young, very hot, and ultra-recognizable.
Now, as some of you know, (but not Leslie Afrin, who doesn’t have any famous friends) being friends with famous people can provide a fun rush of self-importance, but it’s also potentially very embarrassing: You have to be very careful WHO you bring into their little gay circle, because if you bring the wrong douchebag in, it reflects very poorly on YOU.
The golden rule is this: You can only expose your celebrity friend to people who know how to pretend they don’t care.
It is an absolutely bizarre fucking rule, but nonetheless it holds true for every single A-list celebrity. Every celebrity wants the public to jerk them off at a macro-level, but when they’re “just
chillin,” they want all normal plebs to back the fuck off and just treat them like plain-ol-Natalie.
I’ve violated this Golden Rule ONE time in my entire life – it was at my wedding almost 10 years ago, where Natalie Portman and her boyfriend were in attendance. Natalie HAD to cut me some slack though – what are the chances of getting an A-list celebrity in a room full of drunk blacks and jews and having nobody fuck with her? Luckily it wasn’t a Dominican wedding, or they would have stripped her for parts like a Porche parked overnight on 138th and Lennox.
Now, for the most part, our high-class Jewish relatives AND even my medium-class black cousins knew not to fuck with Natalie. No fawning, mentioning Star Wars, or direct eye-contact… but all it takes is ONE, and somebody did fuck up BIG:
You might racistly assume that the offender was indeed one of my black cousins; that maybe he ran up to her like a ghetto bojangles and was just like:
Natalie you a fiiiine bitch! Lemme get up in that ass girl like Anakin – I do it like Anakin – pump that shit up in that ass girl – who you think look hotta, me or my white-ass cousin? Yo baby what’s Yoda like? That nigga a muppet right? Oh he in a computer now? I got a helmet for that ASS girl nah jus playin ssss-ssss-ssssss-sss-sss.
But that is not what happened. Instead, it was my retarded brother-in-law’s JAPPY-ass girlfriend who isn’t even in the family anymore and embarassed us for NOTHING. Fuck. She ran up to Natalie at the cocktail hour, with NO abandon, and even though my brother-in-law swears she had been repeatedly prepped, she rampaged:
omg omg omg omg omg omg I’m gonna faint I am your BIGGEST FAN! When you’re in US magazine in the who-looks-better-in-the-same-dress feature, do they send it to you when you win? Cause you won against cameron diaz in May right? It was amazing!! You lost against Hillary Swank right? SUCH bullshit. So what IS yoda like? That nigger is a muppet, right?
It’s THAT desire; to superficially, spastically bond with a celebrity, has NEVER in the history of mankind been enabled like it has with the advent and mainstream usage of Twitter.
Twitter is an unprecedented tool in the analysis of Celebrity and pathetic-fan-jerkoff behavior. Let me give you the punchline first:
People are miserable. Everyone is insecure and feels worthless deep deep down inside. That’s secretly why people crave adoration from creating art, music, and third-rate blogs. It’s the same reason people wave to television cameras when they walk behind reporters. It’s the same reason people take tags on mailboxes: “Yo, you saw my shit!?!”
Yo: You saw my shit? If you saw my shit, it makes me slightly less worthless.
Now, The faux-LOVE that the entire world throws at celebrities causes normal people to perceive celebrities as being the OPPOSITE of worthless. They are worth a LOT, and therefore they get all this attention and fawning adoration.
Therefore, normal worthless-feeling people instinctively believe that if they get close to these people, it makes them less worthless; a person who is NOT miserable and worthless, a CELEBRITY has taken the time to give THEM energy and made THEM less worthless in the process.
We don’t have to speculate any more – with Twitter, we have the evidence:
Look at the huge numbers of followers that Ashton Kutcher (1,723,157), Diddy (886,546), and Seth Rogen (139,989) have. Now, why, ostensibly, do people follow other people on Twitter? To read their updates, right?
So, are you going to tell me that the CONTENT of any one of these three celebrity Twitter streams is more entertaining than @jimgoad’s? (87 followers). Not possible.
So why are all of these people following these celebrities? I mean, Seth Rogen is an EXTREMELY FUNNY movie star who is also cool as shit and smokes weed. I love him. So, since he’s great at that, maybe he’s SO funny and cool that he also writes really great and funny Twitter updates! That’s why he has so many followers! Let’s test this theory by looking at his tweets:
Wow! I’m astounded. Each tweet is a self-promotional stroke of his cock with literally no content of any kind! I guess just because someone is good at one thing or is a celebrity, it doesn’t necessarily mean they can write interesting shit.
I wonder how the people of Twitter react to the gigantic discrepancy between Seth Rogen’s extremely humorous movie talents and the shitty content he provides on twitter:
Jeez, tough crowd!
And of course, Seth Rogen never tweets back at any one of them! He spends all his time sucking up to Diddy and talking to people he feels are his equals – and that’s what you would do too!
Now, at this “mainstream” end of the spectrum, it’s all very easy to poke fun:
Ha-ha, look at the Denny’s customers of America, all trying to jock Will Smith and co. and getting continually dissed.
BUT – are you secure enough to point this high-powered staff of introspection at you and your crew of cynical coolkid nihilists!? I AM!
Twitter has proven that I AM A STAR-FUCKING JERKOFF TOO!
I couldn’t help it – I saw the drummer for The Roots hanging around all the time, and I started following him – he just seemed so close, like he was right there – like I could reach out and TOUCH ‘EM! And before I knew it, I had sent a tweet right to him. In fact, I sent him a terrible joke which he did not respond to.
GOT ME!
I know for a fact I have siblings in this shame – from what I understand, Leslie Afrin spends a good deal of time Tweeting pseudo-celebrity models who do not respond. @dianalmiller – who the hell is that? Seriously.
Whoa, she seems deep – no wonder you wanna jock her.
However, it’s not just nobodies like me and Leslie that are guilty – the shame also works its way all the way UP the food chain. According to my analysis, EVERYBODY has fallen into the trap of trying to reach out and hi-five some celebrity and ending up smacking themselves in the nuts.
I may have tried to suck @questlove’s dick, but HE tried to suck YOKO ONO’s dick and got dissed!
And I’m sure it keeps going from there: Yoko Ono probably reaches up to try to get props from HER superiors, but like the rest of us, ends up just getting no love. But yo, in her defense, it’s not just anyone that can get a response from @paulmccartney.
I’ll leave you with the sum total of my research – Twitter is the microscope, and this is the theorem: Everyone is fronting and full of shit in a different way, according to the their respective real-world insecurities and egotism.
In GENERAL, this pyramid accurately represents how the degree of real-world celebrity affects twitter users’ online behavior:
See you next week, when I will be presenting the HARVEY MILK MEMORIAL GAYEST CELEBRITY TWITTER AWARDS for Q1 2009. Please submit your nominations in the comments section or to me, Blognigger, via Twitter.
If I like what you write, maybe I’ll even reply.
Leave a Reply
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boooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggggg
05.13.09 at 12:13 pm
the more i read about the world, the deeper i french kiss the walls of my home. saucy little walls, enticing me with their adept ability at keeping others out.
05.13.09 at 12:17 pm
Tweetarded…
05.13.09 at 12:26 pm
The only way to win at Twitter is to not have a Twitter account.
In 6 more months saying the word “tweet” when not talking about a bird will make you look as dumb as someone who now asks you to go check out their LiveJournal.
05.13.09 at 12:26 pm
Scarlett?
05.13.09 at 12:27 pm
ahah, kind of true, kind of bullshit, as usual. but surely highly symptomatic of your own nevrosis.
puh-lease nigger, don’t answer this message, it could get me all erected, y’know.
05.13.09 at 12:31 pm
I @-replied BN and he sent me a private message back AND I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL AS SHIT. So whatever, if Questo wrote you back I’m sure you’d be mildly impressed with yourself.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that pretty much everyone tries to get responses from celebrities or bloggers they like, but when they see their friends doing it they realize how lame it seems. But that’s the point of twitter, to give people the attention they crave, Ashton Kutcher BEGGED for followers, some people beg for him to write them back.
05.13.09 at 12:43 pm
Dearr Mr. Gavin and Derreck Beceles (the blognigger!),
I was awokken this morning to understanding that your websites have used my image and name ILLEGALLY in your stupped “Blogniger” postings. You cannot do that without my permession legellay.
I DO NOT give permissions for you to say my name and images. This is not public property for you. This is private for me for web sites.
I am officially mad and angry and seeking revenges toward you and your web sites.
From preck.
05.13.09 at 12:48 pm
i know and work with lots of celebrities. that’s because i am much better than most of you and live a life on the daily you can only dream about. my GF is a famous, beautiful dancer. i get free bottle service at places you will never see the inside of like Above Allen and The Eldridge. speaking of which, its off to lunch @ Chanterelle to talk about important music business shit you wouldn’t understand.
05.13.09 at 12:52 pm
jim goad, funny guy….he made a joke about not being able to understand spanish speakers but nevertheless is fluent in ebonics- that guy owns!
05.13.09 at 12:55 pm
I hate Twitter and celebrities, even the cool ones.
05.13.09 at 12:59 pm
Lot’s of dick-sucking going on.
05.13.09 at 1:06 pm
well, i don’t care just how much balls this piece about twitter sucked right now, mr beckles approval rating has gone up a thousand thousand fold because the truth is finally out now! So Derrick? are you going to continue writing worthless shit like this one, or what, ‘cos, We wanna know right fuckin now nigga!
05.13.09 at 1:08 pm
Lot’s of dick-sucking going on.
05.13.09 at 1:09 pm
the idea that a celebrity is in any way less worthless or less miserable than the rest of us is not true
05.13.09 at 1:13 pm
fucking awesome post BN, you nailed this shit
05.13.09 at 1:15 pm
I don’t get it.
05.13.09 at 1:16 pm
@srsly
I too got the feeling that BN is Derrick while reading this. How’d you know?
05.13.09 at 1:22 pm
That’s my guess.
05.13.09 at 1:28 pm
oh come on, this ‘preck’ guy is too good to be true.
05.13.09 at 1:32 pm
tldr. srsly.
05.13.09 at 1:32 pm
Lesley Arfin? Play that nigger off, Keyboard Cat.
05.13.09 at 1:34 pm
everything you said is true. seth’s PR is likely tweeting for him.
05.13.09 at 1:38 pm
um, I know Beckles, and I do not thing that BN is him at all, not one bit…
05.13.09 at 1:41 pm
yeah, definitely not…
05.13.09 at 1:58 pm
# orly? Says:
05.13.09 at 1:41 pm
um, I know Beckles, and I do not thing that BN is him at all, not one bit…
RE:
Weird! BN tweeted me to e-mail him because i supposedly left my sweater in his car one night.
That same day i really DID leave my sweater at Beckles’ place. COINCIDENCE OR NOT?
Deedoodeedooo the Twiligggght Zooone.
05.13.09 at 2:20 pm
Good article. I’m friends with a ‘celebrity’ too, but we live in Hollywood. No one bothers celebrities in Hollywood because everyone sees them all the f*cking time. I wonder what Vegan Jules would say.
Does it make any sense to say that twitter is basically the moral opposite of 4chan?
05.13.09 at 2:25 pm
Finally, I get to peer into the mind of the guy that stands at my corner selling patriotic pencils. Really, this has been fascinating, to say the least. And you know what? I feel like a real idiot because I always thought that Leslie AFrin’s name is Lesley ARfin. Thanks for clearing that up. Anyways, this psychological shit has me in way over my head. What I need to do is return to college and take Introductory Cocktail party Psychology 101 all over again. It’s pretty obvious to me that the profession has changed a lot in the last 15 years. Time to get up to speed.
05.13.09 at 2:25 pm
Haha, Seth Rogen…funny? Pot smoker? People who actually come from the real world know that funnier people can be found in gas chambers. They also know that when you’re not at the level of gas chamber comedians, one of the short cuts to convincing morons that you’re funny and cool is to pretend that you smoke weed and then milk it for laughs until the retards finally catch on. Jesus Christ. I’ve flushed dingleberries that are more intelligent than you farts.
05.13.09 at 2:30 pm
I have 228 Facebook friends and they’re all coming over for a bitchin’ party on Friday night. Yesss!
Fuck Twitter, man. Fuck sociology. Let’s par-tay! Let’s pong some beers! Let’s crunky!! Bee-otch!
05.13.09 at 2:33 pm
Okay, so because you desperately wanna get high from choking down celeb jizz that means that everyone else does too? WOW. I feel so transparent right now. Thanks for coming clean for all of us.
05.13.09 at 2:34 pm
Okay, since I read the last few comments…I’m finally getting it. Thanks for the translation guys.
05.13.09 at 2:37 pm
Greaaaaaaaaaat Post! I joined twitter to follow BN (and WELL for JANG too) howz that for sucking the proverbial celeb cock?
05.13.09 at 2:38 pm
When I met Carrot Top my self-esteem meter went through duh ROOF, yo! I was braggin on dat shit for like 5 years and whatnot. That’s some fuckin real ass shit right there homeys!
05.13.09 at 2:40 pm
Fantabulous writing…brah.
05.13.09 at 2:47 pm
I meant JAG.
05.13.09 at 2:49 pm
I get really embarrassed for people when i see them freak out about celebs and the word on the street is Kenny Power’s Twitter is hilarious. if you want some funny shit. I also heard Shaq’s twit skills are borderline retarded.
05.13.09 at 2:57 pm
Can’t get over the “Twitterz is lamerz” comments– you guys are the best, thanks for solving the riddle of the internet by commenting on websites. Totally different!
05.13.09 at 2:59 pm
i like you
05.13.09 at 3:03 pm
^^ not me up there. But I am on twitter and JANG wins for funniest twits. I mean the whole somali pirates joke thread was priceless.
As for following famous people, I’m too narcissistic to reply to someone’s twitters if I know they won’t give me the time of day. My ego couldn’t handle it.
And what the hell is LOCKED IN? I’m gonna punch the next one of my friends that says they are LOCKED IN. Seriously.
05.13.09 at 3:07 pm
scarlett johanson
05.13.09 at 3:11 pm
Erykah Badu @tweeted an “LOL” to my this guy i know. That’s kind of rad i guess.
@diplo & @atrak are famezys DJs who @’replied me.
Why are comedians on Twitter never really that funny? Like Louis CK is even heh heh ok…
y’know who is famous & actually awesome? @MICHAELIANBLACK
i want to make babies with him.
but
JANG FTW on most entertaining & hilarious tweets!
05.13.09 at 3:17 pm
I’m paid a shit-ton of $$ to sit at a desk and look busy, so twitter is a good time waster, and I go for the funny ones like blognigger and jimgoad, too. Since I spend 9.5 hours a day on the interwebs, it makes me really jaded and things have to be funnier than usual because of the info/humor overload that I experience on a daily basis. I generally tend to untwitter the starfuckers and the self-promoters. The suckage is high.
05.13.09 at 3:22 pm
follow Jenna Haze. It’s fucking magic, “I love 4:20!!! Gotta go shoot this weeks anal scene for my new dvd!!! Friday I’m stoked!!!”
OK I made that up, but srsly that’s the shit she writes.
05.13.09 at 3:54 pm
again, what is twitter?
05.13.09 at 3:54 pm
i kind of feel like an idiot posting anything after reading that.
At least on twitter you aren’t getting shut down in person. I hate meeting celebrities because you get so excited but when you meet them you realize that you have nothing to say to them besides “I’m a huge fan”. Then you feel like a moron when they don’t treat you like their best friend.
05.13.09 at 4:02 pm
@ val really
“Erykah Badu @tweeted an “LOL” to my this guy i know. That’s kind of rad i guess.
@diplo & @atrak are famezys DJs who @’replied me. ”
Could you translate what the fuck you just said? By the way, Guinness is better than Vitamin Water.
05.13.09 at 4:03 pm
Banned? Because I don’t like Twitter? Thank you. Adios.
05.13.09 at 4:06 pm
twitter is the seven trumpets, the marking of the chosen, and beginning of calamities…..
the end of the world is near.. thank god… everything sucks cock..
05.13.09 at 4:08 pm
twitter is the gayest shit known to mankind
05.13.09 at 4:10 pm
BLOGNIGGER=FUNNY, BECKLES=VERY UNFUNNY
05.13.09 at 4:26 pm
^obviously not me
05.13.09 at 4:27 pm
My favorite BN twit so far was on April 27th after the flyby scare.
“I was in Lower Manhattan today – it was like the Polish 9/11″
05.13.09 at 4:42 pm
@Bedroom Athlete
(@ replies are used on twitter to get this, “REPLY” to people’s messages. @diplo & @atrak are twitter usernames…)
& EW GUINNESS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!
Stella Artois is the love of my life.
05.13.09 at 6:09 pm
ouch. me fewlings hwurtinggggg
05.13.09 at 6:16 pm
you hav fewlings?
05.13.09 at 6:34 pm
to be honest. barely any.
xo
05.13.09 at 6:50 pm
thus the name “fewlings”
05.13.09 at 6:50 pm
@ VALERIE
Lulz. I knew what you meant silly head. You’re just making it harder for you and everyone else by adding the “@.” Taking the extra effort to hit ’shift’ and ‘2′ at the same time shaves precious minutes off your life. You can just say Diplo or Atrak next time, most people who know bad music are familiar with their names.
PS Love the subtle shoulder pic.
05.13.09 at 6:52 pm
i love you
05.13.09 at 7:10 pm
Really? You’re Derrick Beckles? I somehow like you much more now. It must be the fame thing. Weird. Anyways, I couldn’t stand Derrick Beckles and all his guilt-tripping when I used to smoke, and then when I was going through withdrawl I kept seeing him in those ads and was like: “You gotta do it for the black Sideshow Bob. He really wants you to quit.”
I think I’m gonna start smoking again.
05.13.09 at 7:54 pm
[pant, pant] am i too late?
Happy Easter!
05.13.09 at 8:10 pm
i thought jim goad was blognigger?
05.13.09 at 8:18 pm
[...] Extra-Gay World of Celebrity Twitter (Street Boners and TV Carnage / [...]
05.13.09 at 8:18 pm
oh wait…blognigger is david duke and jim goad is saint louis farrakhan
internets….like water for chocolate…HI JANG!
05.13.09 at 8:23 pm
bn has gotten so fucking good, i feel like he wont last much longer before offing himself
05.13.09 at 8:32 pm
If it can’t be DB, I’m hoping it’s Ty. I was watching that show Daisy of Love on VH1 the other night while I futzed around in a Baltimore hotel room. That one shy guy that got kicked off named Cable Guy looks just like Ty. Oooh, I’m rhyming. And then I thought of how there’s a dude on this board called Cable Guy and freaked the fuck out. Anyways, whoever it is is like a serial killer in that he likes to hang around the scene of the crime and kinda wants to get caught because he’s digging on the possibility of fame. Hear what I’m saying? I always picture Ty lurking about the yellow police tape with them glasses. But I don’t think that the real BN is violent at all. Like me, he’s a man of peace and narcissism, possibly even a semi-buddhist.
05.13.09 at 9:23 pm
a semi buddhist, like david duke
05.13.09 at 9:38 pm
like the byzantine empire
05.13.09 at 9:39 pm
like the creation of the world was theft….mcinnes purloined the immutable stuff of the universe and fashioned a pitiful menagerie….byzantine usa
05.13.09 at 9:43 pm
Fucking YES. This makes me proud to be an OLD blognigger fan – pre gawker ‘08 chief. attaboy bn
05.13.09 at 9:47 pm
i’m so tylanted and foolish its absurd……….like 40 acres without a mule
05.13.09 at 9:48 pm
WE ARE ALL BLOGNIGGER
05.13.09 at 9:53 pm
Word
05.13.09 at 10:00 pm
It’s all VERY post-modern.
05.13.09 at 10:10 pm
I see you and we’ve met before…I’m like Jacob.
05.13.09 at 10:15 pm
handsome comments or not
05.13.09 at 10:20 pm
Kanye don’t like no muthafuckin Twitter. He went off on it all JANG caps lock style at his blog. Maybe JANG is Kanye? Click my name.
05.13.09 at 11:09 pm
There’s a flaw in your theory: porn starlets, camwhores, etc. Then again, that’s the flaw with nearly every good theory.
05.13.09 at 11:23 pm
IT’S ME. I’M BLOGNIGGER. AND VANE$$A.
05.13.09 at 11:39 pm
I don’t understand this. diana is my friend. what’s the problem?
05.14.09 at 12:02 am
I tweeted Diana because i took her sister to the hospital and she was thanking me, you fuckin idiot.
05.14.09 at 12:04 am
like the origin of consciousness in the breakdown of the bicameral mind….was that jim goad or blognigger? i think it was jarred ball or julian jaynes or alfred jarry
05.14.09 at 12:15 am
what a blow….not that kind..to have jang all double fisted when he has a house and home right near…to close to touch, yet, not irreprehensible….jang got a place at breadloaf reserved. dial
05.14.09 at 12:30 am
The Gayest Award should go to the makers of Twitter.
05.14.09 at 3:03 am
you replied to me you fucking equal.
05.14.09 at 3:48 am
You are a cunt and nobody is interested in your shit.
05.14.09 at 4:01 am
nO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!! BLOGNIGGER AND VANE$$A ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON!!!!! o H GOD!!!!!!!!!!
05.14.09 at 6:56 am
Oh yes we are.
05.14.09 at 7:07 am
did anybody actually get through all of this garbage?
05.14.09 at 7:41 am
Is anybody mapping this shit? That is, who is blognigger, ty, dereck, vane$$a, goad, JANG, and all the rest? is is all one person or what?
05.14.09 at 8:54 am
Ty
Jang
Preck
Blognigger
Vane$$a
Goad
Beckles
And I know for a FACT that VAL is miss scarlet from the conservatory
05.14.09 at 10:27 am
b-nig @replied me twice and i showed 2 all my freinds but i got the feeling he was just bored and no1 else was on…meh
05.14.09 at 10:34 am
This is the kind of awesome idea that I used to read your blog for.
Not all that drama and bullshite for a while.
You got me back holmes.
05.14.09 at 10:44 am
someone please find out and reveal who BN is… i know it’s gay but i really want to know what he looks like.
05.14.09 at 10:48 am
all right all right i don’t give a flyin fuck if you steal my name and add it to your little post modern stew but if you ever make any bread off it can you at least send me a fin so i can get me some thunderbird and drown my silly fucking sorrows away? hold the anthrax. confession time: i’m retarded.
05.14.09 at 10:58 am
That Ty is one evil little fucker for real. Did you ever see them pics of him hangin in his bubby’s rumpus room? sent a chill up my spine.
05.14.09 at 11:00 am
Squirter fuck you, who cares what you read faggot
05.14.09 at 11:43 am
99th
05.14.09 at 12:00 pm
JAG, Whiners Suck, Blognigger, Vanessa and Val all do infact have twitter and converse quite regularly. Who was bitching about how lame they were a few weeks ago? Streetcarnage is falling off the rails.
05.14.09 at 12:56 pm
^I would say having an account is better just than lurking around twitter, but your sluething must not be that great cause I don’t think Vane$$a has it, Vane$$a please confirm.
05.14.09 at 1:12 pm
i’ve never even been to twitter and i ain’t going there until the postman brings me my new MAC that I just dumped 2K on. i can’t even get into the web-surf these days knowing that some chinaman is out there building the beast that will change my life. no i’m not on twitter but please don’t pull a kanye impostor on me and go make me a twitter unless you give me the passkey. if you do i’ll get caps lock level pi$$ed.
05.14.09 at 1:21 pm
“The golden rule is this: You can only expose your celebrity friend to people who know how to pretend they don’t care.”
Truer words rarely spoken.
05.14.09 at 1:36 pm
IP addresses. Duh.
05.14.09 at 1:46 pm
I got your “too long”! Straight mollywop you with it too.
05.14.09 at 10:35 pm
America’s obsession with celebrities is amazing. Researchers call these pseudo-relationships “parasocial” relationships.
Twitter can be fun for a laugh but there’s a life beyond tweeting and Facebook folks! Get a clue, get some real friends and see them face to face.
Pot, kettle, black.
05.15.09 at 7:26 am
seth rogens was fake, ladies is crushed.
05.18.09 at 2:15 pm
SORRY BUDDY BUT I WAS SETH ROGEN!
-J
05.18.09 at 4:21 pm
[...] THE EXTRA-GAY WORLD OF CELEBRITY TWITTER STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE – PeopleRank: 0 – May 13, 2009 In real life, I’m friends with exactly one (1) celebrity. I’m not talkin about some Gavin Mcinnis-level jerkoff, I mean a celebrity. I grew up with her on the Upper West Side In real life, I’m friends with exactly one (1) celebrity. I’m not talkin… Cited people : Ashton Kutcher Natalie Portman Seth Rogen Will Smith Yoko Ono + vote [...]
05.19.09 at 6:02 am