You know, the most ironic thing about joining the Marines and seeing how the military runs has made me pretty anti-government. I’ve been all anti-government before back when I was a liberal douche bag because Joe Strummer told me to be one but then I finally got a brain and thought, “Hey, government is not so bad.”
So then I lost it again and joined the Marines. What to me was a world you see in Hollywood with all these GI Joes walking around, working hard, fighting the good fight was really a world as pretentious and lame as high school. The real military is a socialist bureaucracy with guys who are supposed to run the show ultimately caring more about their careers and pensions rather than getting the job done. Just like in school, there’s too much bullshit and you deal with rampant incompetence.
Higher ups don’t really work when they gain a certain rank. Once they get promoted they tend to wait and hide or kiss up to the Commanding Officer and keep an eye out for their retirement. The military isn’t a place where things are exciting all the time. It’s more like hurry up and wait. Then there’s the fuck ups that screw you when you are working.
For instance, on one of our convoys, a supply truck ran out of gas because the Third World Country National driving it forgot to fill gas tank. It left us stranded in the middle of nowhere in Iraq for hours trying to figure out a way to tow that bitch. Next thing I know, I had to check on every freakin’ supply truck (they were around fifty sometimes) to see if it had enough gas before every convoy.
Then there was that one time a gunner lost a laser dazzler after a 12-hour mission. The captain made us clean out and catalog every item from the vehicles for another two hours. We had to get up in five hours for another mission. That’s three hours of sleep.
I do not hate the actual concept of the military. It’s the bureaucracy I hate. You ever notice how every socialist/communist country has fallen apart or remained a shitty country to live in? It’s because it’s all run like the military, as a bureaucracy. The free market has been the only thing that’s worked and many businesses run much more ethically than most government agencies because they are more interested in the bottom line than running a charade.
Even after getting back from Iraq we were getting screwed. Other Marines and I put in extra money for the G.I. Bill only to have it disappear; Just another case example of the Green Weenie fucking us. It’s something you deal with on the regular basis in the military. Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. Semper Fucked. The best way to deal with it is “adapt and overcome.” Semper Gumby.
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STREET BONER 1118
Just to be clear, this is not a hole in her tights. It’s a hole in the ass-time continuum that will swallow your entire paycheck if you go near it.
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Cool khakis.
11.11.08 at 1:54 pm
Happy V day there buddy!
11.11.08 at 1:57 pm
I enjoy the Iraq Report. Keep ‘em coming!
11.11.08 at 2:07 pm
yoU Signed the Motherfucking Contract
11.11.08 at 4:30 pm
ya capitalism works great especially with 700 billion socialist bailouts for the wealthy (just none for the poor). neither system works they both rely on people and when you rely on douchebaags you get what you deserve
11.11.08 at 5:52 pm
Well, John I absolutely agree. Bailouts are horrible and no better than socialism. But that ain’t real capitalism either, that’s corporate welfare. Capitalism is more like the whole concept of “Do-It-Yourself” punk rock indie labels/stores/zines which ironically is somehow what the epitomizers rail against. Anyways, I know the post was pretty much a sob story, but its for people outside with a glimpse of my own experience. I’m pretty sure a lot of grunts who were in the shit years ago will say, “Oh that’s nothing, I had to stay up for weeks during a siege” but that’s THEIR story. This was mine.
And you don’t have to remind me, I know I signed the contract.
11.11.08 at 6:03 pm
“You know, the most ironic thing about joining the Marines and seeing how the military runs has made me pretty anti-government.”
Did it also make you fail at engrish? Read this sentence aloud slowly, liver lips.
—
by the way, thanks for your service; you’re more of a man than I.
11.11.08 at 11:03 pm
Sorry for the typos, I can’t exactly make changes to posts since I don’t actually post the blog. By the way, thanks for your confession. But I already knew that.
11.12.08 at 12:25 am
^ That was me by the way.
11.12.08 at 12:26 am
I am also enjoying the khakis. Dockers? Bugle Boy? Cherokee?
11.12.08 at 6:56 am
thank you for that taeil. your posts are better and better.
11.12.08 at 9:23 am
it’s all cool and macho and appropriately anti-authoritarian while still being a total government bandwagon placeholder but beyond that its the Bud Light that’s sticking in my craw. Sipper fine?
11.12.08 at 11:17 am
nick chen-yin was a fucking marine?????
11.12.08 at 11:24 am
Wow this article could probably win an award for containing the most contradictions and logical fallacies in a single piece. Bravo!
11.12.08 at 3:11 pm
somebody deleted my motherfucking arse-fuck of a comment!? sucks.
and to ^^ the more ‘contradictions’ in a piece, the more i like it, the more real it is, the closer it is to the real world and all our hypocrisiesyyesysysieisiss.
11.12.08 at 6:01 pm
Yes Benny that is true, its like the idiots version of Catch-22
11.12.08 at 7:19 pm
dont call the bailouts capitalism. farthest fucking thing from it.
11.12.08 at 10:07 pm
that chubby chinese guy has some pretty cool shoes..
11.12.08 at 11:23 pm
^ Wasn’t me. (But I agree)
11.13.08 at 1:09 am
[...] getting a hearty chuckle out of Taeil Kim’s Street Carnage posts. (This one is my favorite.) Today’s post got me thinking: what in hell is a “laser dazzler”? It sounds girly and [...]
11.14.08 at 5:57 pm