Being in this sausagefest that is Iraq especially as a Marine out here in a Task Force Military Police unit, it’s pretty insane how gay things get amongst guys around here. You gotta realize though that Marines are one of the most stereotypical jock-bro-douche-working class-asstards on the planet. These are the guys who would have literally kicked your ass in highschool because you styled your hair (if you were a dude), let alone clock you if did something like hit on them as a gay guy. These are the most most virulent homophobes I have ever met in my life.
They also happen to play gay chicken more often than any other guys I have met in my life. Seriously, you would see guys break in the middle of a conversation to play this game. No, I haven’t see anyone both lose (actually kiss) but I haven’t seen anyone both break away either. No one has dared playing against me because guys actually think I’m gay since I just like antagonizing everyone by being really good at being fruity. When some other Marine does something sexually ambiguous, it’s funny. When I do it, it’s just simply gay. It’s like watching Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier doing Men On Film and then watching Richard Simmons.
I don’t know what’s worse for a Marine, to be considered a fag or be called a pussy. So I guess it’s pretty insane and yet makes enough sense that the repressed homo tendencies come out in forms of gay chicken, dry humping, and the word fag and ass rape thrown away ten million times a day. I’m just letting everyone know however, if you ever pass out in front of Marines while your drunk… Your ass really hurts and you shit out blood and sperm. It happens every time.
There’s a saying around here… it’s “the Marine Corps is the longest running gay joke of 1775.”
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Most liberals would say this is proof we are all secretly a big gay. Even Henry Rollins says the mosh pit is just men secretly embracing their love of man-to-man contact. The idea that we’re all dying to suck each other’s cocks is a common myth. In fact, Gay Chicken proves the opposite. I used to work for the phone companies in the middle of nowhere, and there’d be days at a time where it would just be 12 guys alone in the woods, repairing telephone poles. Our gay jokes would get so gay our day to day was totally indistinguishable from a gay porno. This is because we soon realized how ungay we were and pretending like we were was as funny as dressing up as a woman and saying, “I’m a lady” like they do in that show Little Britain.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AxLBpa7g5fg
06.05.08 at 9:48 am
Well, the guys in Little Britain are actually GAY!
06.05.08 at 10:15 am
Only 1 of them is gay you uninformed piece of shit.
06.05.08 at 11:35 am
Only 1 of them is gay you uninformed piece of shit.
06.05.08 at 11:35 am
men on film is so great
06.05.08 at 11:40 am
the one baby killer with his tongue hanging out looks gay, how can he not be…killing babies is so gay
06.05.08 at 11:50 am
Always wonder how liberals can square Darwin’s theory of evolution with the belief that sexual orientation is determined 100% through genetics. Also, those guys look pretty gay to me.
06.05.08 at 12:14 pm
isn’t that the guy from pot psychology on the right?
06.05.08 at 11:57 am
i dont give a fuck
06.05.08 at 3:38 pm
Gayness can square with the theory of evolution because when a species is in trouble because of over population they get gayer. It doesn’t promote the genetics of that one animal, but its good for the group and evolution works that way sometimes. Also, all armies have gone gay forever.
06.05.08 at 9:29 pm
gay armies make better soldiers because they “got each other’s back”
06.05.08 at 10:04 pm
oh, like butt-fucking right?
06.05.08 at 11:32 pm
this picture has made me hard….
06.06.08 at 8:14 am
Like always there’s one educated person in the bunch. I’ll elaborate on what Marie said.
1. Emotional tendencies are created by genetically defined affectional structures; in the context of mammals we call them “social behaviors.” They are basically brain structures that are forced on us through genetics, rather than self-built through experiences. The reason they call them social behaviors is because they put the survival of the group ahead of the survival of the individual; they always do, otherwise we wouldn’t have them! Anyways, look at Bonobos or Dolphins. They fuck whoever they want, and they fuck all the time. They have oral. Even with their relatives. It’s a social thing. It makes the two individuals more emotionally dependent on interaction with the other. That’s what loneliness is; the brain imagining itself without the interaction of another individual, of who’s interaction the first person is neurologically dependent. This creates a self-defining algorithm, pulling mammals together into packs, and forcing them to watch out for each other. No, you don’t have to have sex to have affection for somebody, but it makes affection come quicker because of the extreme positive emotional responses. And evolution likes that.
2. Yeah, armies have always been gay. I guess the obvious example is the Romans. Governments/religions were even gayer tho. Historically, government and religion were both products of things called ‘Mystery Schools.” From Egypt to Sumer to the Indus to the Yucatan to the Andes to Africa to Greece to Rome to present day United States – pretty much throughout history the lives of all humans have been controlled by secret heirophant fraternities – men only clubs with secret handshakes and cyphers and whatnot. And I’m sure plenty of stuff with butts.
But when you get down to it, there’s nothing natural about buttsex. And I’m a very feminine person, but the thought of kissing a guy is gross. But those are just cultural preconceptions I guess…
06.06.08 at 2:37 pm
As far as I’m concerned you’re all gay. Also, liberals suck at life and should shoot themselves in the face. That is all.
06.08.08 at 9:00 am
This shit makes me want to join the military!
Are there any glory holes?
Oh’ oh’ oahhh, I just came…
03.30.09 at 12:02 am
Were all a little bit gay or bi. But gay chicken also helps knock down homophobia. a case where a little bit of guilt and a little bit of gay sex (kissing) goes a long way to improving society.
In lots of societies, eg mid east, France, there is absolutely nothing wrong with men kissing other men on the cheek. I’ve even seen video of Breznehev , ex soviet leader, doiing it. And these are guys who killed to get to the top.
And though I’d never do buttsex – prefer pussy, a little kissing, nipple play etc, especially when kinda drunk is great at the end of a long day.
And re DADT – isn’t it time to Defend America, Not Homophobia. We had a few out gay people in our platoon. Perfect soldiers. Just had a real understanding that the upper level officers were not to find out, though the company commander knew and was in on the deal. And some of the gay guys really saved a couple other guys lives.
06.01.09 at 12:39 am
During my AIT the males would bag each other In thier sleeping bags and proceed to take turns riding someone while one would drag him across the bay to make sure everyone got a “ride”
02.13.10 at 3:18 pm
Men left to their own devises will pleasure themselves anyway they can regardless of their beliefs, moral standing, faith, upbringing or what they would otherwise profess. When a male any age who normally claims “str8 as an arrow” enters a sexually charged environment his curiosity gives in and soon he will find himself doing things he would’ve never thought of doing otherwise. Usually after the first half dozen times, his thinking will change to “what no one knows won’t hurt” and he will secretly seek out venues to cater to this need. I witness this on a first hand basis everyday and it is more common than anyone will give credit to however it is a big secret and no one else needs to know. Whenever a group of males are alone regardless of orientation, someone will always play the gay card and before one knows it, there is action. Just guessing, 70% or greater of the male populous will play. We are sexual animals and one way or another that need will be filled. So for you men who profess one thing on the outside, remember inside I know your dirty little secrets and for me that is a good thing. See you at the tearoom.
03.13.10 at 12:45 pm
Hey! My boyfriend is a Marine! he’s told me all about the gay jokes and stuff, but he also says most really dont care one way or the other whether someone is gay or not (I hear this from military personell from all branches). He doesn’t come out though since he wants to stay in the Marines!
06.18.10 at 12:00 am
[...] got plenty of things I can tell you about the Marines which can out gay that. Can you tell me any specifics about Afghanistan? Where are [...]
05.03.11 at 8:25 pm
[...] got plenty of things I can tell you about the Marines which can out gay that. Can you tell me any specifics about Afghanistan? Where are [...]
05.04.11 at 5:35 pm