TOILETS IN IRAQ
The KBR* toilets kinda suck since they can only flush down piss and TP. They also don’t flush down with rotating water going counter clockwise or clockwise as they do in Australia.
FOOD IN IRAQ
The chow halls in Iraq are pretty kick ass and we get to eat like kings every day here. I just had T-bone steak this evening. But the food gets old no matter what and the first thing I want to do back home is buy a six pack of Guinness and a plate of sushi. You can’t get alcohol or sushi out here. It’s fucking lame.
PORN IN IRAQ
We’ve set up a porn server and we filled up a 200 gig hard drive full of porn made up of all the porn all the Marines had in their own hard drives and lap tops. Fucking 200 gigs. That’s like three life times of masturbation.
I fuckin’ hate the Corps. I should’ve enlisted in the Army. Jodie Foster’s Army.
Semper Fidelis,
Me
*KBR stands for Kellogg Brown and Root, Inc
They were a subsidiary of Halliburton that are directly funded by the government to build construction work in Iraq. They do ridiculously over-charged work with our tax dollars and coincidentally enough they are moving their operations out of Iraq right when we are going to have another Presidential election. Who would have thunk?
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Wow, cool feature. I’m loving these– along with the WWII vet from yesterfar, I’m liking what you’re doing here, StreetBoners.
03.10.08 at 10:08 am
porn and death. who woulda thunk?
03.10.08 at 11:28 am
Ok, toilets that only flush piss and TP…what happens to the shit? this is fascinating.
03.10.08 at 12:44 pm
I cannot think of a singly War movie where being in the army was fun. The Deer Hunter – Christopher Walkins shoots himself in the dumbest game ever, The Thin Red Line – Woody Harrilson blows off his ass and while he dies he whimpers to his comrades “please don’t tell my mother I died like this!”, Full Metal Jacket – a fat guy blows his head off because American’s taunt and pick on their own comrade, Jar Head – Jake Gyllenhaal is dumped by his girlfriend and like this guy finds out that KBR toilets suck and maybe like this guy has to clean the toilets also.
Cool!
03.10.08 at 12:52 pm
The KBR pissers work on these shitty above-ground septic tanks and we weren’t allowed to shit in them, only in the porta-johns. Imagine being in a full-on flame-retardant jumpsuit, in the dead of the summer in the middle of Baghdad, and you gotta go shit in a small plastic box that stinks like the worst parts of a Ben Affleck movie and has turd on the seat because the haji who went in before you likes to hover (they all do.) The only redeeming quality is the excellent literature one encounters on ever portapooper wall.
03.10.08 at 1:39 pm
You can tell it’s me when every word and name is spelled correctly. A “singly” war movie? Walkins? Harrilson? Negro, please! That wasn’t me.
But Taeil rocks major ass. I’ve been looking at his myspace bulletins for a while now.
03.10.08 at 3:46 pm
this guy examplifies dont ask dont tell
03.10.08 at 5:14 pm
woops, typo, “exemplifies”
03.10.08 at 5:17 pm
Dude, more gay jokes please. Bring it on.
03.10.08 at 5:40 pm
MR. Kim
we hate you
dont come back to t town
03.10.08 at 6:02 pm
Taeils my boyfriend cant wait till he gets back from Iraq…
03.10.08 at 6:04 pm
what isn’t gay about the iraq war? nothing. private pyle getting wacked in the nutsack with bars of soap is iraq and the whole entire world stands and watches idly by as iraq(gomer) gets fucked in the ass.
03.10.08 at 7:58 pm
wait a second. that’s deliverance.
03.10.08 at 8:04 pm
taeil is gayer than nine guys blowing ten guys; for serious, one of these hypothetical guys has got two dick in his mouth, and taeil’s still gayer.
let’s put the truth aside for a moment though…do you shit in the road?
03.10.08 at 8:44 pm
a fuckin’ JFA fuckin’ reference!!!! no way!!!! rippin’ style, holmes!!! hands down the coolest marine to walk the earth…
03.10.08 at 8:56 pm
brilliant! fucking hilarious. keep ‘em coming!!!
03.10.08 at 9:34 pm
Hey Jim Goad would you like to write for ebony magazine?
03.10.08 at 11:12 pm
finally, something decent on the internet.
03.11.08 at 9:59 pm
finally, something decent on the intrawebz
03.11.08 at 10:03 pm
finally something gay on the internet.
03.11.08 at 10:03 pm
Hey, great post, very well written.
09.09.09 at 4:11 am