I was going over my money the other day, and saw that I have none. Now here’s my theory:
My first job outta college I was makin about 30 grand. My parents congratulated me and rightfully so – it took my mom 20 years of being a public school teacher to make that kinda bread.
30k was plenty – I could afford to eat out for every meal, and I was pretty much the man. However, when I wanted to go on my first vacation, I quickly realized that I had no fuckin money; I hadn’t saved shit.
That prompted my first experience with budgeting: I stopped getting a 3 dollar Odwalla juice every morning. It didn’t help.
Now meanwhile, my engineering team was being managed by this dumb Russian cunt – she had the IQ of mayonnaise and we hated her. She didn’t have the slightest fucking idea about what we did, and she made our jobs harder every single day. The WORST thing about her though, by far, was that we were all positive she was making WAY more money than the rest of us. We spent the entire summer of 1997 getting high on the roof and talking about how much money that bitch made.
38 grand kid…nah 42k, son…gitthefuckouttahere!!!!
We fancied ourselves as hackers, but that’s not how we eventually blew up her spot – instead, some other dumb bitch left a printout at the printer like they always do. When I first heard the magic number I almost shit myself: FORTY EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR HOOOOOWWhat the FUUUUUCK!?!?!?!?
I went home in a daze, kid. All of us were thinking about FORTY EIGHT thousand dollars – all the money in the world. What would you even do?? It was like the secret planning that occurs when you’ve got the mega millions lottery ticket sitting in your wallet:
Man, I swear I’d just pretend nothing happened – I wouldn’t quit working – nah, I wouldn’t change nothin’ – just put the extra money in the bank, keep living like the everyman. Just make myself comfortable but naw I wouldn’t change a thing.
But then something crazy happened: I got a raise. And another. And another. Somehow though, I still wasn’t able to save money – and life didn’t seem that different! I mean, mathematically speaking, I must have been doing some extra shit, but there was no asset – no concrete evidence to speak of.
That was Newton’s apple banging me in the nuts, and here’s the resulting theory:
Your expenses are silently, sneakily proportional to your minuscule income.
For you kids that have never had a job before, let me break it down like this: It’s like when you get an eighth of weed, and you make it last pretty well for about a week. And you think, man, if I just had an OUNCE, I could be set for July and August and wind up saving money. If I only had that ounce…
But then you drive up to Washington Heights and buy a Z, and you smoke it in a week and a half. When you buy more weight, you just smoke it faster.
Same thing with money, kids – right guys?
Well, at this point I make more than 3 times what I made at that first job, but I still have no fuckin money – and all evidence points to the theory remaining consistent at “insanely” high levels of income – just check out those crackhead fools on wall street repped by the the How The Hell Am I Supposed To Get By On 500k article in the NY Times.
You think they’re scumbags, but if you had that much money you’d be whining the exact same way. It’s all relative; your lifestyle adjusts to what you have, and you spend accordingly.
Now, the thing about this Relativity is that, as my FOOL says, it applies fairly universally to more abstract concepts such as morality.
This is NOT “moral relativism” – I’m NOT talking about some academic jizzcockery that philosophy 101 TAs use to woo asian-american freshmen girls back to their off-campus housing to play hide the whitesauce. This is not horseshit that ends with me saying “So in summary, who’s to say whether the holocaust was morally wrong?” Suck my dick with that bullshit – all I’m saying is that MOST people tend to act the same way in every moral situation. Sure you have .001%’ers like Manson and Madoff and MLK, but for the most part, everyone does the same shit.
If watching Randolph and Mortimer Duke reduce Winthrop to a sniveling drunken santa wasn’t enough of an illustration for you, let me add that in every single morally-sketchy business meeting I’ve EVER been in, (200+), I’ve NEVER seen a single person, smug Daily-Show moralist or otherwise, stand up and say “no, this isn’t right and I won’t participate.”
If that shocks you, go out onto the green outside the library and enjoy the sunshine and the hot girls with their bookbags, cause you’re undoubtedly in college.
The theory doesn’t excuse the current financial crisis, but it sure explains it. Makes the Wall St. fellas seem a little more sympathetic, no? Still hate those guys? I do. FUCK those faggots at AIG – Burn your bonus!! GO BARACK HUSSEIN!!
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4714 access attempts in the last 7 days.
Throwing in a link to a 1300+ word essay your friend wrote makes your argument weak as FUCK!!!
03.18.09 at 1:28 pm
Wah wah wah I love dicks
03.18.09 at 1:36 pm
Ugh, so true! I hate it. I make a pretty decent amount of money, but somehow.. some-fuckin-how, I am reduced to eating cereal for dinner and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch because I can’t afford FOOD (and I cant cook). I have no idea where my money goes (yeah, I just spent $200 online shopping about 15 minutes ago, but still). I directly deposited my tax returns into my ROTH IRA because I dont even want to see that shit. I’ll just spend it on more clothes, shoes, or whatever it is that I buy.
03.18.09 at 1:37 pm
You adjust your income just like you become used to anything after a certain period. But there’s adjusting to your income and there being so fucking deluded that you believe you’d “struggle” to survive on 500K.
Boo-hoo, you can’t afford solid gold cutlery anymore and you’re going to have to fire 2 of your 4 mexican maids. My heart bleeds for you, you bourgeois pieces of shit.
03.18.09 at 1:49 pm
I tracked everything I spent my money on for a month. First I thought the Bodega was to blame becuase I always get last minute shit there instead of the grocery store. Then I saw my beer bills. Holy shit.
03.18.09 at 1:55 pm
too long. get your own blog, nigger.
03.18.09 at 2:02 pm
oh, and if you keep three emaciated thai teenagers in your closet and feed them watered down rice in between renting their wee assholes out, you can turn quite a profit. use your fucking heads people.
03.18.09 at 2:04 pm
AIG makes me sick.
I understand the whole relativity thing but…
03.18.09 at 2:06 pm
I fucking love it that all my Wall St. homo fag friends are sucking my balls for money for their A8s they paid cash for.
This is U.S. America. Money is king. Thank G-d our socialist Muslim president’s shifting it all to me and my half-Jew/half-black ass.
Praise Hussein!
03.18.09 at 2:11 pm
You live in New York, quit your fucking complaining. You could probably get a job in a place like Pittsburgh with the same paycheck and never have to worry about money again. Why the fuck do you think I live here? Because I can’t hang with all you cutting edge New Yorkers? No, it’s because I don’t like worrying about money. I can’t stand going into the grocery store and having to look at price tags. I’d rather live in fucking Idaho than have to do that. Did you ever read the interview that David Choe did in Juxtapoz with Aaron Horkey? Choe referred to Horkey as America’s greatest living artist or something. Horkey lives in Mankato, Minnesota. He and Choe talked some about how if you actually have an imagination, it doesn’t really matter where you live. Sometimes I look at these people chasing nothing in New York and figure that if they had to live somewhere more low key and more DIY, their minds would start to eat themselves like slot machines eat quarters. Aside from the billionaires, NYC is a land of daft masochists.
03.18.09 at 2:14 pm
haha, you morons. concerning this wall street fiasco, you are missing the point AGAIN blognigger. the million+ dollar bonuses that these guys are getting is bullshit, but it is small fucking potatoes compared to the TRILLIONS of dollars the government is spending (which they dont have). Go back a few days and look at the post about what a trillion dollars looks like, and compare that to a few million. forecasted deficit this year is around 3.5 TRILLION in this year alone.
One thing people fail to recognize is that a vote for the bailout is in fact a vote for these bonuses, as it is a part of these guys contracts, violating this contract would be unconstitutional. Do you honestly think that barack and his crew really had no idea that these guys would get these bonuses? get a fucking grip, they know exactly what they are doing. This is no shock to obama, all this bullshit is designed to get people pissed off at these few AIG and whoever bankers, while the obama team stealthily hands out over 50 BILLION to foreign banks. it is a distraction, plain and simple.
this video will hopefully show you the light (though i acknowledge beck is somewhat of a douchebag)
http://www.dailypaul.com/node/86471
03.18.09 at 2:31 pm
@ Captain Queef
I don’t think the point he was trying to make was about AIG bonuses. I think it was more about the public sentiment towards Wall St. and the subjective morality that led to the decisions these white collar faggots made.
03.18.09 at 2:40 pm
Uhhh, “violating this contract would be unconstitutional”???? The contracts were already in place before the bailout. The Constitution states that Congress can’t make a law which affects the power of contracts (look it up), which has absolutely nothing to do with the issue here. AIG is worried about lawsuits brought under Contract law, not Constitutional law. There is no federal question present. The real fear is that this loophole will persist, in that companies receiving bailout funds will hurry up to write contracts in order to funnel the funds into the private accounts of executives, with the government able to do fuck all about it. Obama and his advisors know that they can do little against the common law forces they are up against, unless they want to turn the whole of contract law on its dick. The real solution is to stop the bailout funds to AIG, so they get sued into oblivion and default on all of their insurance contracts. Then the economy implodes, society crumbles, and your biggest worry becomes finding a friend w/ a shotgun and a can opener.
03.18.09 at 2:52 pm
Yeah captain queer, now take your ron Paul buulshit and shove it up your fuckin aaaaasssssssss
U lost the election cause you’re gay
03.18.09 at 2:53 pm
so, you saw coming to america on bravo to a couple of nights ago, good shit
03.18.09 at 2:57 pm
These white-collar faggots are a necessity. Their spindly, greedy, asshole ticklin’ fingers punch the numbers that provide us with a respectable fuckin’ existence. Sure, they drop the ball. They skim a bit of cream to blow on prepubescent prostitutes.
Gluttony strikes us all.
Few men are equipped to handle such power and capital, so quit condemning. Yes, they’re a bunch of cum kissed assholes.
You’re right Mr. Nigger; we’re a bunch of financially irresponsible pussies, and that’s why we’re in this mess.
03.18.09 at 3:45 pm
Killer post image ftw
03.18.09 at 4:15 pm
yawn, this is getting so tired.
03.18.09 at 4:18 pm
whiners suck is a llllllaaaaawwwwwyyyyyeeeeerrrrr…never thought ahd see da day wen the frase “federal question” made its lil’ ol’ way to deez here comments.
btw – the gov/AIG could simply say, you didn’t perform your obligations, you breached the contract, now you don’t get paid. ooo you think we’re wrong? ok, sue me for the bonues you think you’re entitled to.
but why don’t they take such a simple and clear position? cuz they’re Geithner’s friends. can someone now tell Kanye West and Sean Penn that, sorry, a new day has NOT dawned.
03.18.09 at 4:31 pm
Yes as Captin Queff saying that Trillions is all for the China. Ha-ha=Ha!
Hey American, we are cashing our bonds and you and Brock Obbama can now work in Fulan Gong camp of death to sweep the blood of victious American greedy mans.
Teh only “bonuses” WILL be for China. Again for China. Always for china. Trillion and trillion and trillion because you guys all sucks.
from Preck
03.18.09 at 4:46 pm
It’s getting too hard to parody the lack of both critical thinking and self-awareness that goes into these posts. This “web sight” has become a parody of itself. Attacking shopworn ol’ debbils like the Daily Show and grad students is exactly what Bill O’Reilly does, except he does it a lot better, makes a lot more money, and doesn’t need Steven Seagal (to put the piss in compass) or fashion critiques to draw in viewers.
What kind of nobility is there in being the “Web 2.0″ Bill O’Reilly? Do you want to make less money than he does? Is SBTVC to glibertarianism what Ian MacKaye is to punk? “We here at SBTVC try to keep the door down for the kids.”
03.18.09 at 5:47 pm
pot, kettle,…i’d like you to meet normal.
03.18.09 at 6:09 pm
Gavin? I never leave comments on here, but can you PLEASE add Vane$$a to the list of “People who need to get the Fuck Outta Here”?
Has anyone on earth ever talked about themselves more? And in the most depressingly tedious detail. Please, get her the fuck outta here.
Also, the racism from the couch ranters is such a bummer. You should seriously consider banning morons with uncontrollable emotions. Not because they shit on pretty much everything, but because they are so. incredibly. lazy. I mean calling someone a nigger is as uncreative and easy as it gets. “Too long?” For what? You to finish reading? Please go back and masturbate on your couch where you belong. Andafuckayou.
03.18.09 at 6:22 pm
this is why I live on a farm with my friends hunt, raise and grow my food and work with my hands because when the chinese kill us all I want to be happy with my life.
03.18.09 at 6:24 pm
yep the more money you make the more you spend. we make money to spend it, we’ll always have bills and the more money you make the more expensive your bills will be. your fucked and will always be a slave.
03.18.09 at 7:01 pm
I’ve only used that word (nigger) with the utmost respect, Aviva. It’s the tail end of his moniker, so I wouldn’t get all coiled in the gash.
03.18.09 at 7:04 pm
I make 160K and I still can’t afford a boat. This relative money thing is a bummer.
I also love Aviva, but no banning. Its better to let the speech run free. We can judge the person who wrote it.
“Where there is much desire to learn, there of necessity will be much arguing, much writing, many opinions; for opinion in good men is but knowledge in the making. ” –
John Milton – Areopagetica
03.18.09 at 7:28 pm
HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
I fucking told you so!!!
03.18.09 at 7:33 pm
Oh man J.A.N.G., you really let us down. Stick to your character – the fag that’s behind the curtain is just. not. pretty.
Don’t be like Woody Allen and get all deep – stick to dressing up like a sperm or no one gives a shit.
03.18.09 at 8:46 pm
Cap’n Glitterfuzz
I wasn’t talking about you. You’re cool dude. But there are others who, if I saw them walking past me, I would trip. Hard.
But Vane$$a… you have got to GO!
Anyhow, carry on
xx
03.18.09 at 8:59 pm
there is not much in this world more loathsome than the creature who screams “BAN THEM!” during discourse. typically the ones asking for the ban of others offer the most banal and predictably dull-witted dialogue of all. case in point upthread @ aviva’s post. much like the ones in the room who speak with their loudest “outside” voices, these creatures are never the ones whose conversation we wish we could overhear.
tolerance, it does a body good. just because others don’t say so every time somebody posts a pile of shit doesn’t mean that they don’t suck.
learn some manners, woman and please never include that horrid link again. you are trite and devoid of charm. finally, keep in mind that the best defense is not a good offense when you have nothing to back up that offensive play.
03.18.09 at 9:03 pm
Hey Hey Vane$$a had valid points.. I probably enjoyed reading their post more than the last 10 BN posts collectively.. but that ain’t sayin much. I’m not sure what happened, but white guy’s post started to really suck after that whole gay-suicidal-wall street-pseudo prostitute thing that happened awhile ago… maybe BN always sucked, I guess he pushed it too far with that shit, followed up by his mid-life crisis journal entries that followed.. But on the other hand, at least its better than Jim Goad’s stuff..
03.18.09 at 9:11 pm
YES, just a normal guy – that is brilliant.
Gavin and blognigger are JUST like Bill Oreilly
really good comparison!
sure glad you’re not leaving those funny comments anymore!
03.18.09 at 9:13 pm
What=Vane$$a
03.18.09 at 9:14 pm
If anyone out there actually gives enough of a shit to write a reply about whether I leave misspelled comments on this site any longer (which a few readers seem to be), then he is an idiot with misplaced priorities.
The pool of commenters and the comment count are decreasing, JANG was getting old, mental retardates like Loomis and Sarah O Sarah (among others) couldn’t tell that JANG was fake, and the site has just become “grad students suck, grunge aliens are squares, vegetarians are pussies, fags have AIDS, Oliver (sic) Zahm rulz, Chris Brown is black, people in China spit on the sidewalk,” boring Andy Rooney/O’Reilly/David Horowitz shit. The crew in charge is just tilting at liberal windmills from the 1990s, as if anyone really gives a shit about Tibet these days; ever since Michael Pollan was on NPR a few years ago there aren’t any vegetarians left, which is fine by me; etc.
03.18.09 at 9:45 pm
THERE IS NOTHING TO DO IN PITTSBURGH. AT ALL.THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T LIVE THERE UNLESS YOUR OLD, LIKE +30. AND BORING.
03.18.09 at 9:57 pm
“I mean calling someone a nigger is as uncreative and easy as it gets.”
Easy? Definitely. It’s a career move. Saying “nigger” opens doors for people in this country. Everyone is saying it.
03.19.09 at 12:45 am
That’s true. The real difficult and brave thing these days is to say racism is wrong.
03.19.09 at 1:12 am
I never got control of my spending until I went vegan. Without it you’ve just got an insatiable urge to consume. The finer moments of life have nothing to do with money, but you can’t be in a headache over it, you won’t enjoy them.
P.S. What if you like both Vanessa and Aviva? Then it’s like a beautiful cat fight!!!
03.19.09 at 3:54 am
shut up
03.19.09 at 4:42 am
@Just a Normal Guy
Big fan. Listen, I have some feedback:
a) You are kidding yourself if you think there was a single person on the planet who thought that your JANG character was real. We just thought it was FUNNY.
b) You are very talented. At JANG. The Woody Allen analogy someone else made really is pretty good – you were talented at JANG, but you are not talented as a political analyst. Your posts on this thread are dry, hackneyed, and boring.
c) The only reason you could possibly be so defensive about grad students is that you are one. IF I AM RIGHT, please promise to do some serious thinking about how I would know this. There’s no way for this not to sound patronizing: You will feel VERY DIFFERENTLY after you’ve been out of school for 10 years. I know you won’t take my word for it, but when it happens to you, please reflect back to this comment.
d) Streetcarnage says un-pc stuff, but in CONTEXT, it’s a very important site. The Left wing controls most good entertainment in the country, and it is IMPORTANT, REFRESHING, and DIVERSE to be able to make fun of them and their causes.
Thanks for all the laughs.
03.19.09 at 5:21 am
Even I say nigger. Look at the thread before this one.
There’s white folks, and there’s ignorant motherfuckers.
There’s black folks, and there’s niggers.
03.19.09 at 5:36 am
JANG: “The pool of commenters and the comment count are decreasing…”
WELL, ONE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR ALTAR EGO THAT REALLY DOESN’T EXIST IS THAT YOU PULL FAKE STATISTICS AND STRAWMEN ARGUMENTS OUT OF YOUR ASS.
LOOK BACK A YEAR AGO. FIVE COMMENTS A POST. SIX MONTHS AGO. TEN COMMENTS A POST.
03.19.09 at 6:00 am
Aren’t we post-nigger yet?
I thought I’d have to use a time machine in order to remember when the word “nigger” had so much power.
I’m a Nigger, he’s a Nigger,
She’s a Nigger, we’re a Nigger,
Wouldn’t you like to be a Nigger, too?
Be a Nigger ~ We are the Nigger.
Easy to type anonymously, but I bet there’re plenty of yous who cannot physically – in for real life – say the word in public. Try it though (it’s ok, I’m half-black so you have half-permission). Rhymes with “trigger” (could get you shot) and “bigger” (uh, the dick thing, you know).
03.19.09 at 7:39 am
“Streetcarnage says un-pc stuff, but in CONTEXT, it’s a very important site. The Left wing controls most good entertainment in the country, and it is IMPORTANT, REFRESHING, and DIVERSE to be able to make fun of them and their causes.”
Is it possible to successfully create a web-site that parodies liberal entertainment media when so many of the people associated with the site would give their soul to be members of the liberal entertainment media’s demonic inner-circle? That’s a recipe for pussyfooting if I’ve ever seen one. It is important to have sites like you describe, but only if the people who make the site are willing to truly have at it. It’s so much easier to make fun of “Vane$$a” or whoever instead of taking a chunk out of Al Franken’s completely bogus yet ridiculously “sincere” public persona. After all, some of us are still hoping that SNL is going to call.
03.19.09 at 7:55 am
Oh man vane$$a, I can’t believe you just teed this up for me for free- I’m like jittery with excitement here:
Dude, YOU would give your soul just to be a writer on streetcarnage!!
You’re so jealous of the three g’s (Gavin, Goad, and ‘gnigger) that you sell stolen chat logs!
So what does that make you: META-pathetic?!
Oh the horrible irony!!!
03.19.09 at 8:46 am
Stay on topic peoples
03.19.09 at 9:20 am
oh sweet Aviva……you are the good lord’s gift to trolling…
i found your picture – you sexy jewish optimist.
03.19.09 at 9:44 am
I have never tried to explain the JANG joke but it is clear that people have never gotten it. I will still not explain it but there are two things I am picking up from this thread.
If you think you can reduce JANG to a simple liberal/nonliberal political binary, you don’t get the joke.
If you think telling me that I’m a grad student will hurt my feelings, you don’t get the joke.
If any of the above applies to you, you are a simple-minded moron who is entertained by calculated, repetitive caps-lock misspellings. You should kill yourself.
03.19.09 at 9:59 am
@ JANG
If it makes you feel any better, I always knew that you were a joke. Problem is, I never thought it was a funny one. I’ve seen the same persona, right down to the clueless political incorrectness, hatched on many a message board long before I saw you do it here. I also believe that its funniness has a shelf life of a about a week for those who have never heard the joke before. Sorry. But I was over you before you happened.
03.19.09 at 10:17 am
Insert narcissistic rage directed at Vane$$a here
03.19.09 at 10:19 am
gosh, there’s a shitload of comments. I can’t keep up cause I’m either a day early or late. Live in Tokyo, the most expensive city in the world. I totally agree. Once my banker bf get more yen, we have to go out to expensive ass places and I have to pretend to give one shit(which also costs)… so, yes ans yes…
can’t talk now, SOUP’S ON!
03.19.09 at 10:29 am
Acutally, I’m usually hard on vane$$a, but she just COMPLETEY owned JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL) better than I ever could have. Really good.
JUST A NORMAL GUY (THE ORIGINAL) – I have to say, I actually did enjoy what you did on Street Boners, but after revealing yourself to be such a self-important dickhead, actually getting UPPITY about JUST A NORMAL GUY being some grand political statement, I’m glad it’s dead, for I could certainly never enjoy it again.
03.19.09 at 10:30 am
WELL AVIVA YOUR COMMINTS JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT THE NYC LIBS ON THE UPPER WEST SDIE NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME ON JDATE AND A TREDMILL AND LESS TIME WORRIED ABOUT THE NEGROES IN THE SOUTH
03.19.09 at 10:43 am
AVIVA & VANE$$A CAT FIGHT!
i’m throwin’ my D’s on Aviva’s royal fly-ness. She is also probs 10x hotter than Cunte$$a.
Vane$$a lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
She would kill her first born to be able to post on SBTVC…
or at least lick BN’s feet clean.
She believes brown & black don’t go together & likes to call me fat.
She thinks i go to NYU & haven’t been outside the “bubble” but
i have probably seen more countries than she’s seen dicks.
03.19.09 at 11:12 am
I often feel that Bloghonky attempts to hide the fact, with irony, that he knows nothing. Inside of him there’s someone who’s dying to be a serious social commentator, yet he knows that he doesn’t have a real gift for it. Irony, as great as it is, can also serve as a huge mask for an equally huge deficiency. Look at Bloghonky’s fawning support of Obama coupled with his condemnation of Wall Street. Is he honestly unaware that 75% of Wall Street’s presidential campaign contributions went to Obama? Is he unaware that Obama’s White House is filled with Goldman Sachs people and that Goldman Sachs received a colossal chunk of stimulus money? I’m guessing that there aren’t any Lehman Bros. people on Obama’s “team.” And AIG? That’s a smokescreen to make you feel like something is being done. It’s just like the semi-revocation of Bush’s stem-cell edict. All we see is the one small thing Obama changed/stood up to, yet we never think about how it’s all the same, how he might as well be Bush but 10 times more evil, how we’re now getting anally fucked by a giant dick instead of a squiggly little pig-tail dick. And don’t give me any of that “Oh I’m just pretending to be a clueless Obama supporter for the sake of irony, blah blah blah…bullshit.” I’m not buying it. What it comes down to is that this site probably is floundering, and it’s because no one around here is intelligently committed to anything outside of being committed to nothing. You should have some people write for this site (NOT Vane$$a or Val Ang!) who actually take themselves seriously. Why don’t you try and get someone like David Duke to write a piece or maybe Daryl Hannah to come on here and lecture us about fur seals or something? Then we can have some sick ass fun making fun of them. Set some real motherfuckers up for the smack down. There’s little joy or entertainment, let alone fame, money, or chicks, in pooping on the anonymous. Oh, but that’s right, this is just a blog, a hobby, a distraction, an intramural game of dodgeball or some superfluous shit like that. Sorry. I’m sure that you never hoped to profit from this minor avocation. I guess I’ll just head over to the National Review where they actually have something to say. Hey, it beats the living, animate shit out of Mother Jones.
03.19.09 at 11:17 am
I’m going to make Aviva fall in love with me.
03.19.09 at 11:19 am
And fuck you Rad Racer. Who are you again, smart ass?
03.19.09 at 11:20 am
Val’s pic FTW!!!
03.19.09 at 11:29 am
Dear Blognigger,
My bandmate last night came up with a theory that a lot of people who win the lottery go batshit crazy because they are usually adults suffering mid-life crises. i told him if i won the lottery i wouldn’t be coppin’ Lamborgini Diablos when i know the money gnomes are just issuing me a check for 5 grand every week until i’m 80 or somethin’…
Do you think this is true? If i, a 21 year old brokey broke college student, won the lottery would i spend the money relative to my lifestyle now (Brokelyn NY state of mind living) or relative to that of a bazillionaire cumillionaire?
Would i really be able to pull a Bridget Fonda in the 1994 movie “It Could Happen to You” & keep my waitressing job, purchase my daily groceries, go home to my humble apartment in the ghetto, & eat my favorite pack of peanuts? Maybe even marry that studly cop Nicolas Cage?
Or will i ride the baller train a la Lil’ Kim & owe nearly a million dollah dollah bills yall in back taxes?
LUV U 4EVER,
Val
03.19.09 at 11:57 am
^^^^ that whiners suck up there isn’t me. But I understand the handle use because this post is essentially whining and I came up with my handle, whiners suck, in response to a sobby ass article on here several months ago professing how hard it is to live in NYC on 200K when I do it on 40K, support my student boyfriend, and pay 6% of my income to a 401k, and pay off all my credit cards every month. Its not that fucking hard to make a budget so stop bitching about your own irresponsibility, dang. You sound like this “I made a conscious choice, the outcome sucked, I keep doing the same thing over and over again, and it still sucks, now listen to me whine about it, instead of doing something different.” Nobody likes that shit except other whiners.
@JANG, I iz in lovez wit you, officially
03.19.09 at 12:14 pm
hey…Val…come here…a little closer…lean in…ok, here’s the deal – Vane$$a is a dude who, among other lame as monikers, is known as tony badassanino. it is believed he lives in ohio in his parents basement.
oh, and aviva is not a cutie, she’s only sexy as troll bate, and i agree with teh great and noble JANG that a little jdate and some treadmill time might help her stop embarrassing herself by criticizing my lucid racial commentary that happens to be an inside joke between me and my part time lover BN.
03.19.09 at 12:16 pm
Lucid racial commentary my ass. You remind me of one of those hipster girls that does childlike art because she knows that if anyone ever criticizes her art, she can just say, “But I wasn’t even being serious, I was just doodling. I didn’t even try.” (being ironic in your speak). Your irony and your alias(es) are hackneyed shields against the truly perceptive critics of the world. Despite my vitriol, let me make it clear that I say this because I am watching you waste your fucking time on this shit. You’re all like: “Hey if you guys have any connections in the entertainment industry, be sure that you tell them about me!” Why? I don’t know you. All I know is that as far as I can see, you’ve never put your real name on anything that says anything. You’re all smoke and mirrors.
03.19.09 at 1:17 pm
Hi Erik,
I am duly chastened by your vitriol.
I do want to thank you for taking the time to notice me.
Sincerely,
Tommy
03.19.09 at 1:47 pm
Good.
03.19.09 at 2:14 pm
hey Erik – why do you go by Vane$$a when you really a dude.
03.19.09 at 4:15 pm
Chaching!
03.19.09 at 4:24 pm