STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » THERE’S NO BREAKFAST IN HEAVEN

A steady diet of the word of God might make for a healthy lifestyle choice in these belt tightening economic times but unlike this dynamic duo, when God calls me home, I am gonna be expecting endless breakfasts of maple syrup, grits, sausages, Captain Crunch, gravy, eggs, pork chops, sugar & rice, beef steaks, country ham, strawberry jam, and biscuits ad nauseam. Jesus died for his own dietary sins not mine.

This entry was posted on 03.12.09 at 9:17 am by Edgar Burns Crutchfield III. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

12 Comments

ashley Says:

shes a little flat.

03.12.09 at 9:51 am
ashley Says:

yeah she’s hell fat

03.12.09 at 10:00 am
word Says:

he seems really into it but she looks like she is going to pass out from “no more breakfast”

03.12.09 at 10:12 am
fruit Says:

this is pure gold, pure gold.

03.12.09 at 10:43 am
Patti S Says:

When suddenly Johnny gets the feeling he’s being surrounded by
waffles, waffles, waffles
coming in in all directions
white shining frosted flakes with their nose in flames,

03.12.09 at 10:47 am
jimmy dean Says:

OK so they’re telling me that breakfast is not the most important meal of the day in heaven? Well what if you’re in Hell? Please follow up Bonerheads.

03.12.09 at 11:57 am
Veevers Says:

Haha! I saw this last week and died 100 times. What’s her angle anyhow?

03.12.09 at 1:05 pm
srsly Says:

360 degree angle

03.12.09 at 1:15 pm
vegan jules Says:

Jesus was a vegan. That’s why they gatted his ass.

03.12.09 at 2:32 pm
pat Says:

BECKLES, throw in some Coleman!

03.12.09 at 9:01 pm
chris brashear Says:

what about Stockbaurian bratwrust wrapped in those tender Batter Blaster pancakes at the Street Carnage SXSW party?

03.13.09 at 7:30 pm
Howie999 Says:

I find the irony of “DARWIN” on the bass drum enthralling.

03.14.09 at 12:49 pm

STREET BONER 1127

Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.

ENLARGE

E-mail it! | 18 Comments

STREET BONER 1126

“Wiggers” is a mean word that stings like a motherfucker but, somehow, “Bonkies” doesn’t pack the same wallop.

E-mail it! | 14 Comments

STREET BONER 1125

Pulling back your sleeve to show your tattoos seems queer but that’s what tattoos are: accessories.

E-mail it! | 19 Comments

STREET BONER 1124

You may have noticed there’s a lot of music industry chicks at SXSW all dressed up with no interest in you whatsoever. You may have also noticed you’re not in a band.

E-mail it! | 15 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.

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