I’ve recently become obsessed with a rarely-viewed YouTube vlogger who goes by the name joeythepinkblowfish. He’s gay, he lives with his mom, he has lawn furniture in his bedroom, he wears an ankle bracelet that’s too tight, and I’m convinced that he’s either mentally retarded or a serial killer. I just can’t figure out which one yet.
Here’s a picture of his boob:
Judging by this photo alone, the butterfly tattoo, 100 in between his fingers, and his flapjack tit would lead me to believe that he’s a female bus driver from a poor white school district attempting to be naughty.
Retarded traits:
1.) His screen name. He’s brimming with gay pride, so I’m assuming his YouTube name is a reference to SpongeBob SquarePants‘ Patrick the pink starfish, who is thought to be a homosexual. I think that Joey meant to call himself a pink starfish rather than a blowfish. Although something tells me that his starfish is not pink.
2.) His hair.
3.) His lack of shoulders.
4.) He had to have one of his toenails removed because he didn’t care for it properly, and it never grew back.
Serial killer traits:
1.) In one video, he drinks a mason jar filled with a creamy, white fluid and pretends it’s semen.
2.) His hair.
3.) He has insomnia.
4.) One gets the sense that at any given moment in Joey’s videos, “Goodbye Horses” will begin playing, and he will say into the camera, “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.”
Here is his idea of trying to be sexy.
His thoughts on racism (he has black and Chinese friends, FYI):
Cum in a jar.
Trying way too hard to be gay:
Joey’s hot, sexy, gay feet (his words, not mine):
Here’s one where he pukes:
He has type 2 diabetes:
He uses his moles as an excuse to show off his body:
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boy version of noorna
11.13.08 at 2:31 pm
i just jerked it and puked and then jerked it again, using the puke as lube, the smell of which made me puke.
11.13.08 at 2:34 pm
I had to have one of my toenails removed and it never grew back.
11.13.08 at 2:52 pm
He looks like Captain Kangaroo minus the red blazer and facial hair — except I want to push this guy.
11.13.08 at 3:17 pm
He’s almost as good as that cookie fanatic from the UK Big Brother. She should be this dude’s fruit fly.
11.13.08 at 3:46 pm
the amount of nose blowing in these videos is canceled out by that huge silver chain he is rockin.
11.13.08 at 4:00 pm
His facial expression at the beginning of the strawberry video (which I think is the best) is so retarded it’s like a gifted comic actor trying to look retarded to save his life. The whole strawberry sketch is the funniest thing I have seen in a while. The fact that he looks like what one of my friends would look like after a stroke (and thus the fact that I’m able to e-mail the video to the rest of my friends under the title “***** after his inevitable stroke”), just makes it even sweeter.
11.13.08 at 4:32 pm
I like strawberries too, but I will probably never eat them again after watching that first video.
11.13.08 at 4:37 pm
sweet candy coated christ! is this really tracies? she’s the cutest. and her hair is really shiny!
11.13.08 at 4:55 pm
serially retarded
11.13.08 at 5:33 pm
wuss good, slut machine…aye ma, you got icq – less chat, meet up and wutnot antes de you be some dude’z ole lady
11.13.08 at 5:47 pm
its fun to press play on all the vids and listen to them at the same time.
11.13.08 at 6:02 pm
why are his hands all beat up and the first strawberry has a rotten spot
11.13.08 at 7:28 pm
What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.
11.13.08 at 7:30 pm
Once the phones stopped ringing Perez decided he needed to take shit to the next level.
11.13.08 at 7:35 pm
jt knows where it’s at. Play them all at the same time.
11.13.08 at 7:41 pm
You guys should take it easy on him. He’s been through up’s and down’s in life, and now he’s trying to make an important video about stuff. You never know when you’re going to die. Jeez.
11.13.08 at 8:47 pm
amazing! he should go on tyra
11.13.08 at 9:25 pm
This sucks a DICK. MOAR BLOGNIGGER
11.13.08 at 10:21 pm
PATRICK’S GAY?!?!?!? :O
11.13.08 at 10:40 pm
My grandmother has the same butterfly tattoo in the exact same spot. right on the meat between the thumb and forefinger. I’ve always thought that was a great place for a ink.
11.13.08 at 10:47 pm
seriously, i have a huge crush on tracie and i can barely contain it. girl, if you ever come to boston, look me up.
11.13.08 at 11:30 pm
“Jigglytitties, you really were serious, you sent me a sperm jar!!”
– Thanks for this post, now I’m obsessed.
11.14.08 at 1:49 am
this guy makes me kind of horny but he has no shoulders
11.14.08 at 2:03 am
His upper body is a glorified thumb.
11.14.08 at 8:15 am
This man sounds exactly like Mr. Slave
11.14.08 at 8:25 am
“Although something tells me that his starfish is not pink”
I love you Tracie Egan
11.14.08 at 9:10 am
shit, tracie, this is like gonna turn into anonymous internet battle royale. It all boils down to who’s got the most spare time.
11.14.08 at 10:44 am
and also, y r u saying i live in boston?
11.14.08 at 10:49 am
I cant even hit play on any of those videos…. look at his fucking FEET in that one embed.
FUCK the stills alone are making me want to throw up.
11.14.08 at 11:01 am
RETARDED OR SERIAL KILLER?
Why should we ever have to choose? Let him be both!
11.14.08 at 11:26 am
hi guys its me joey i am new too this street boners stuff so this is a test only?
08.21.09 at 6:48 pm
hi guys its me joey ok guys i just now read all the stuff you guys sead about me lol and i hope i can hlep you guys learn stuff about me ok guys no i am not perfect butt i try too do the best i can as a person the videos you guys put up there r one year old r so now i am not sure y you guys r mad at me r y you guys hate me? i never new there was a website called street boners and i do not know what this website is for r about? butt guys in them old videos i made i was not trying too make no one feel bad and i was not trying too hurt no one feelings ok guys i am so sorry if i said something that hurt someones feelings i am not sure what i did bad r if i did bad? butt guys its been a long time now its been more then one year r so and i have not realy make no new videos in all this time butt i will be makeing a new youtube name and stuff ok i am going too make new videos about alot of stuff ok theres moer for you guys too read ok.
08.21.09 at 7:52 pm
hi guys its me joey ok guys i do not know who all you guys r? maybe your my youtube fans? i do not realy know ok butt this i do know ok guys i know who and what i am as a person i am a very very very good and nice loveing sweet guy this i do know about me ok guys i know my old youtube videos were shit videos ok guys lol yes thay did suck butt guys i was just haveing fun and enjoying youtube ok guys i was very very very new too youtube at the time ok guys so i was just haveing fun makeing them videos i was not trying too hurt no one out there ok guys you guys may think you know who i realy am as a person by seeing me in my old videos i read what you guys have been saying about me >>>>>>.THIS GUY: RETARDED OR SERIAL KILLER? humm? well yes i maybe abit RETARDED lolol SERIAL KILLER? humm? well i am not really killing butt if you guys r haveing fun saying all this stuff about me np its all cool by me you guys have a right too say stuff about people np butt i know who and what i am i am a very good person and guys i am teling you this stuff about me because i am a real and very good person and i hope in time you guys will see that i am a very good person when you guys see my new videos on youtube that i will be makeing soon guys i will be makeing videos about alot of stuff the new videos i will be makeing r not just going too be about me being gay r doing dummbass shit ok i will be makeing videos about art and videos were i am tlaking about the world and stuff like that some of my new videos maybe just about me doing silly stuff butt guys i just want you guys here and out there and on youtube too know i am not a bad person i am not a asshole i am about love i am about hleping people i am about doing good and like i sead i will be makeing a new youtube name and new videos on youtube too ok guys your moer then welcome too go see them when i make them on youtube ok guys if you like my videos r not its all good np say whatever you feel about me i am not a god ok i am just a person and all i can do is try the best i can wiht what i got and like i sead be for if i hurt someones feelings if i sead something bad in my old videos too you guys i am very sorry i was not trying too do no bad too no one out there ok guys and yes my real name is joey and i will like too say too all you guys here i thx you for seeing my old videos and i do thx you for teling me how you feel and i hope you guys read all i had too say in here on this post about me and if you did read all this i sead about me and you guys i thx you all and hugs too you all and good by ok .
08.21.09 at 8:19 pm