Total Crap Uninc is the name of the line helmed by my friend Saira Huff. Saira played in one of my favorite fuckin’ bands of all time, Detestation, many years ago, and while she is still playing in lots of incredible bands, she is also killing it on the fashion front. I went to her show in Brooklyn at the end of New York Fashion Week, and after 7 days of bullshit at the tents and all the boring fucking girls getting all dressed up to stare at each other and freak out over celebrities, Saira’s show was a welcome departure from all the, well, total crap. Most of the collection is pieces she’s designed for her and her bands to wear on stage (remember, she was also in Faggot), and she rounded up a bunch of friends to model, all equaling out to be a great show with Queen as the soundtrack.
The full show:
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GROSS.
10.13.09 at 12:06 pm
Someone please shoot this tasteless idiot.
Seriously? All the stuff you saw at fashion week was “total crap”, but this monstrosity you approve of? What was it? the young Howard Stern in a banana hammock and fishnets on his arms, or was it the old flabby stomachs hanging below the putrid vaginas that got you? This is not a fashion show, more like a sideshow.
10.13.09 at 12:09 pm
Tastefully done: this is not that.
10.13.09 at 12:13 pm
Anti-fashion?
10.13.09 at 12:19 pm
The whole homosexuality thing is so played out. Saira Huff is endlessly fuckable, though.
10.13.09 at 12:23 pm
Looks like another Portland fashion show.
10.13.09 at 12:28 pm
so extreme
10.13.09 at 12:34 pm
Does this sight have absolutely no editorial oversight? Seriously, I just got the worst case of transferred embarrassment watching that video.
10.13.09 at 12:48 pm
wack.
looks like Liquid Sky meets Turbonegro
10.13.09 at 12:52 pm
this looks terrible
10.13.09 at 1:04 pm
Wow, this is so bad it’s bad. Seriously, if you wear this shit in SF it’s not “fashion”, it’s “Lovefest” and it’s a great way to end up with the clap and a bunch of glitter in your bed.
10.13.09 at 1:15 pm
When you trust someone
and you know you’re on their back
You ain’t got no trusting about you
And you claim that you
Don’t care what where I’m at
You’ve given me reason to doubt you
Say you trust someone
Why are you calling all around
Think I’ve got some dip on the side
Girl you don’t trust no one
And you’re constantly in doubt
You lose the game, if you play that way
Get up off my back
Save a heart attack
Ain’t nobody Humpin’ Around
No matter what they say
No it ain’t that way
Ain’t nobody humpin around
10.13.09 at 1:17 pm
YIKES
10.13.09 at 1:22 pm
are you telling me you didnt even have a Cool Pix on hand to shoot these photos? You had to use your inferior 1.3 megapixel camera phone? It fuckin hurts
10.13.09 at 1:22 pm
That’s flaccid.
10.13.09 at 1:33 pm
at least use a camera.
10.13.09 at 1:44 pm
10/10, 5 stars. where can i purchase these items. perhaps a website?
10.13.09 at 1:47 pm
If by “it” you mean my boner, then yeah, she’s killing it alright.
10.13.09 at 2:01 pm
were they models like 30 years ago? honestly, they should’ve just gone with obese chicks instead of these women. lumpy and misshapen is not as provocative as full-out free-flying flab.
10.13.09 at 2:04 pm
i get that this is supposed to be some big fuck you to the hoity toity fashion world and blah blah which is fine and everything but when you do that with absolutely no talent you end up with with an embarrassing pile of “look at me im different” that yes, DOES look exactly like love fest.
10.13.09 at 2:17 pm
hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
outtakes from a will ferrell movie, right? i’ve seen that one.
10.13.09 at 2:34 pm
brooklyn? no. shambhala? yes. wear that shit in the sunshine in the mountains when everyone’s trippin.
10.13.09 at 2:35 pm
detestion was the best, this is shit
10.13.09 at 2:36 pm
I saw a Kenny vs. Spenny episode like this once.
10.13.09 at 3:06 pm
Jesus. Warn a guy, please.
10.13.09 at 3:28 pm
I heard there were some artistic types in New York, but this is ridiculous!
10.13.09 at 4:32 pm
Ugh. Cannot unsee.
Apparently people want to impress this guy’s friend so much they’re willing to pretend this is actually decent.
10.13.09 at 4:49 pm
i think i pissed my pants
10.13.09 at 4:56 pm
this pretty much justifies everything it was supposed to be against.
10.13.09 at 5:05 pm
I do like the studded eyepatch.
10.13.09 at 5:47 pm
you are a terrible photographer
10.13.09 at 5:53 pm
i saw faggot play once. had a great time, the costumes added a lot to the stage show. not sure how well it translates though to a place that isn’t covered with piss, vomit, and crusty dyke vag smell like where i saw them play, hammered at 2am. i actually suspected that the dreadlock gal might be a pretty convincing tranny, givin that she’s kind of built like a man, has a lot of testosterone and it would be totally in line with their whole genderqueer ethos.
a funny note from the faggot show; somehow there was a weird hick guy there with a huge dragon tattoo on his neck and a nascar jacket, and he was wandering around, giving people the stink-eye. one of the band members, a very attractive gal in a bikini bottom exposing her bountiful ass jumped up on one of the audience members and wrapped her legs around him while flailing and thrashing her arms in the air. suddenly, nascar dragon appears out of nowhere, coyly and quickly grabs her cooch from behind, then takes off as if nothing ever happened, like he had been waiting for that moment all night.
10.13.09 at 6:34 pm
Will this be available at Opening Ceremony?
10.13.09 at 6:34 pm
I should have none better than to click on this. Jesus. My eyes burn. Please, please, please, please just shut up with the “killing it” nonsense/hype/promotions.
10.13.09 at 7:34 pm
Hey those girls in the red and purple dress were kinda cute though…They were the only ones who looked like models.
10.13.09 at 7:39 pm
i dont get it
10.13.09 at 7:42 pm
i can’t fap to this.
10.13.09 at 8:07 pm
That girl should have gotten cartoon characters tattooed on her breast. Then her child can be entertained while working the teat in five years.
10.13.09 at 8:57 pm
Who’s the fat turd in picture four and six? Don’t tell me Handsome Dick Manitoba is making a comeback!
10.13.09 at 8:58 pm
jen, i’ve come around. i used to hate your posts so much but now i realize that the hate you receive is the absolute payoff. keep sucking/doing a fantastic job.
10.13.09 at 11:17 pm
Mission accomplished.
10.14.09 at 12:12 am
If I sat down, right now, and decided to make my own fashion line (bearing in mind I have no talent, skills, or originality) I’d still come up with shit that was ten times nicer looking than this. It’s like they ransacked the wardrobe department for The Tribe.
10.14.09 at 12:32 am
so much droopy white ass.. reminds me of the surrealist bound fat obscured bodies..
10.14.09 at 1:11 am
This is the Wiliamsburg high fashion version of the crying game.
10.14.09 at 1:50 am
HOLY SHIT DID YOU KNOW THAT “I WOULD DIE 4 U” IS ABOUT JESUS?!?! IT’S SO FUCKIN TRUE!!!! I’M FREAKIN THE HELL OUT EVEN THOUGH I’VE KNOWN IT FOR A LONG TIME AND OH AND ALSO THIS ARTICLE IS BORING OR SOMETHING OH LOOK AT ME COMMENTIN AND SHIT I GUESS I SHOULD BE MORE DISMISSIVE?!?!?
10.14.09 at 3:23 am
i can smell the herpes from here
10.14.09 at 4:50 am
from top to bottom:
fap fap fap fap fap fa ffff….droooop
(gets up and goes for a cold shower)
10.14.09 at 4:54 am
has officially jumped the shark.
Gavin is over.
10.14.09 at 5:02 am
boring. teenage-mall-loving-emo mixed with sex shop fashion. boring.
10.14.09 at 7:57 am
how do you become friends with so many trannies?
10.14.09 at 9:49 am
this is no better or worse than the stuff that’s in Vice or even Vogue. fashion is bullshit and no one ever actually wears it except in these shows
10.14.09 at 11:03 am
This looks she cut up all her clothes from 1997, added some shiny underwear and told people to walk down a runway. Embarrassing.
10.14.09 at 11:52 am
woah, man.
10.14.09 at 2:00 pm
Don Decker died and apparently nobody gives a shit.
10.14.09 at 2:48 pm
don decker mattered 2 me…
10.14.09 at 5:10 pm
Decker was a nice guy who worked hard at being an asshole. (Unlike Earl Root, who was a nice guy who worked hard at being a nice guy.) Favorite memory of Decker is of him handing out porn mags to kids at an all ages Anal Blast show at the 7th St Entry.
10.14.09 at 6:21 pm
i get the feeling there’s a lot of little vice magazine trolls commenting on this site these days… cant you get your aspiring interns to do something better with their time???
10.15.09 at 4:03 am
Fucking more wannabe Burning man. Tell these people that punk fashion is just fucking ugly. Although I did think the rat traps were cool.
10.15.09 at 12:16 pm
I liked the line kind of biker chic stepping on the line of trashy and not giving a shit what you think. I think real great for rock, metal or punk singers. I also dig Both blogs. Thx jen
10.15.09 at 12:56 pm
[...] know you were all big fans of my friend Saria’s line, Total Crap, last season and now, with New York Fashion Week being accompanied by Williamsburg Fashion Week, [...]
03.08.10 at 10:01 am