Who’s to say when and if we die? I’m a firm believer in God but not in the sense you’ve probably berated the almighty too. To not believe in God is to have a closed mind. Sure it’s really easy to say religion is fucked up and for God sakes the rules definitely are, but doesn’t not believing in some kind of all-knowing hand that smites you or controls you by fear of damnation an easy thing to do? I say take spirituality by the hand, believe in the force. The God I believe is in control, as in he fucks people up, blesses’ others, and does what ever mind blowing shock-tas-tickly raptures it wants to keep the ball (earth) rolling. I guess you could say I believe in an old testament God but I wouldn’t know, I’ve never read the bible.
What I’m getting at here is that I think we’re already dead and that no one ever dies.
Maybe you died in your sleep and didn’t know it waking up in another galaxy or time space continuum arranged for your own attunement but you were unaware. I’ve almost died numerous times, once by commercial airliner and only God knows what else. People are dying all the time, all around us, but I think God puts each person in their own place of consciousness as they perceive their death amidst the world. If by chance I were to happen to die next week, in my own mind I would still be alive attempting to bang out more propaganda for your eyes. In your reality (hah) you would perceive me as dead, but NO I would really be writing another agitprop for next week you goddamned un-believers.
For instance, along time ago in a galaxy far, far away…. I already died and the folks that know me are mourning somewhere else but what I see around me is the same beings being led to the false conclusion that I’m alive because God foresaw it to be. Did that make any sense at all? Basically all for me, all for Lance, all the time, and it could be for you too if you’d just put a little faith in something. (God)
I know this kind of thought process borders on insanity so if next month I end up in an insane asylum than apparently God‘ll want me to do a back flip while strayed back by the jacket, face-first into some ironclad loony-bin bars so I’ll drift off and wake up somewhere else, in a different time. In conclusion, open your inconversant souls and believe in God, or that other God, or those Gods. Just because a few eggs got broken (listen to this in its entirety) and the concept of religion has a book themed after it doesn’t mean you can’t interpret it anyway you want too.
So let’s rejoice, I’m starting a new church soon so keep praying and maybe I’ll get this thing off the ground kind of like that sprit thingy did that got mherderalized by those pig-eating bible-shorteners. We’ll live forever doing back flips in padded rooms! You’ll need to fill out an application to pass the specified qualifications for entrée. Sample questions: sexual preference, height, weight, facial consistency, income, by the way that reminds me, payment must be received prior to completion of said application. Information coming soon!
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What do you think the over/under of me reading this post is?
04.21.09 at 2:32 pm
are you steve-o or something?
04.21.09 at 2:32 pm
oh god, please stop posting all of these.
04.21.09 at 2:53 pm
fucking awesome. Blog nigger is getting pwned. Gavin please keep posting Lance, don’t burn his bridges
04.21.09 at 2:58 pm
You got a beat like a cop. No but really, stop it. Not everyone deserves a forum.
04.21.09 at 2:59 pm
Attaboy Lance.
04.21.09 at 3:01 pm
So… then if that were true then it would be your fault that I am stuck in a crappy job that I hate because you perceive me to have a crappy job that I hate? Thanks a lot asshole.
04.21.09 at 3:22 pm
Principal Kiddydiddler?
04.21.09 at 3:32 pm
Streetcarnage has finally found its Andrew Dice Clay.
04.21.09 at 3:50 pm
I’ll bet your room is immaculate and your jaw slides like a foosball figurine.
04.21.09 at 3:52 pm
This kid is like a vulgar JEan TEasedale. I fill sorry for him.
04.21.09 at 3:56 pm
Uummm…yeah, this is a work. Lance Kilby is like so obviously a gimmick.
04.21.09 at 4:06 pm
aesk47 Says:
What do you think the over/under of me reading this post is?
agreed. Lance, I vouched for you. shorten it up man.
04.21.09 at 4:10 pm
I only read the first paragraph, but I don’t get how having an open mind about religion goes with never reading the bible.
04.21.09 at 5:26 pm
Sooo…which one of you guys is Lance? there’s no way he isn’t commenting if he’s that hard up to write for this site….Riddler?
04.21.09 at 5:36 pm
Blognigger getting pwn’d?
Lance isn’t even as funny as Drew.
It’s ok kid, yr still young.
04.21.09 at 7:07 pm
this “kid” is not young
04.21.09 at 8:13 pm
Drew is the shit
and i mean that in the best way possible
04.21.09 at 8:32 pm
Lance Kilby is America’s greatest living writer.
04.21.09 at 8:49 pm
for god sakes?
04.21.09 at 9:08 pm
Oddly, your idea makes perfect sense.
04.21.09 at 10:14 pm
“…but doesn’t not believing in some kind of all-knowing hand that smites you or controls you by fear of damnation an easy thing to do?”
“…but doesn’t not believing [X] an easy thing to do?”
what the fuck
does this mean
04.22.09 at 12:04 am
talking…talking…jibber-jabber, jibber-jabber…talking…talking…etc.
04.22.09 at 12:41 am
Why even print this.
04.22.09 at 1:01 am
i meant the shit as in poo, not in the way the coloureds use it.
04.22.09 at 1:49 am
so the angle is that this guy does drugs/knows dudes who do drugs? edgy.
04.22.09 at 4:04 am
It’s not edgy you butt, it’s the answer. There’s no way he shaves his balls.
04.22.09 at 8:17 am
This guys is the worst. this was boring
04.22.09 at 10:06 am
I like Vane$$a, I think Vane$$a is funny.
04.22.09 at 1:12 pm
i don’t. i think Vane$$a is a retarded slut
04.25.09 at 5:13 am