1. Sophie Says:
   

   i love the egg on the windshield, carefully avoiding the body of the car

   
   01.14.09 at 12:09 pm
2. Sophie Says:
   

   Your boyfriend sounds like a whiny pussy. Keying a car?

   
   01.14.09 at 12:10 pm
3. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something Says:
   

   Sorry sophie, I said her boyfriend’s a whiny pussy, I know you were pumped on the smashed egg’s position and not so concerned about the “tough.”

   
   01.14.09 at 12:12 pm
4. VW Says:
   

   keying a car anonymously and leaving a fake name and number…. now thats manly.

   
   01.14.09 at 12:29 pm
5. Chachi and the MS-13s Says:
   

   “It’s the most diplomatic piece of anger I’ve seen since lovemaking.” I laughed.

   
   01.14.09 at 12:49 pm
6. Street Boning Says:
   

   Alarming!

   
   01.14.09 at 1:17 pm
7. matt c Says:
   

   I did this to a car once (the egg) and it never parked there again.

   
   01.14.09 at 1:20 pm
8. imyar Says:
   

   happened to my old roommate in park slope, the horn relay woke us all up at like 5am, she didn’t know it was her car so we all went back to sleep, in the morning lo and behold a police note politely slipped beneath the wiper blade – something to the effect of we dismantled the battery, next time do so yourself or your neighbours will FOR YOU. as in: smashed windshield, what have you. k bye!

   
   01.14.09 at 1:53 pm
9. wolfshirt420 Says:
   

   Brown eggs – classy!

   
   01.14.09 at 1:55 pm
10. E. Pubert Unum Says:
    

    I once hit a parked car while I was trying to park behind it, I ripped the dude’s bumper off pretty bad, and a whole bunch of people standing around saw me do it.
    So I got out, got a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote a note to put under the guy’s windshield. The note said “I bet you think this is gonna have my phone number on it.” Then I drove away.

    
    01.14.09 at 2:09 pm
11. imyar Says:
    

    BAHA!

    
    01.14.09 at 2:14 pm
12. Cap'n Glitterfuzz Says:
    

    What a bunch of arrogant idiots operating in the security of anonymity. And boy, I sure hope courageous Kev wasn’t listed! That’s a count of misdemeanor vandalism!

    Anyway, buy a pistol.

    
    01.14.09 at 2:55 pm
13. Johann Ritter Says:
    

    Ummm…egging is good, salami and shaving cream on the windshield is also good. Keying cars is not okay. Do you have any idea how much it costs to re-paint a car? I caught a skater doing a boneless off the roof of my car a couple years ago. He ate it when he landed. I handed my glasses to my friend, walked calmly over to the guy, picked up his board, and smashed his f*cking face with it. If I caught your boyfriend keying my car I would have strangled the motherf*cker. After he passed out I would leave a note on his chest saying,

    “To Whom it may concern-
    You keyed my car btwn 2am and 7:30am.
    Please don’t key my car in front of my apt building. Very frustrated because you keyed my car. This is a warning!!
    F*ck off !!!

    -JR”

    
    01.14.09 at 2:55 pm
14. Vane$$a Says:
    

    I like hearing about shit like this. It’s inspirational.

    
    01.14.09 at 3:10 pm
15. Termbo Says:
    

    I agree, your boyfriend does sound like a bitch.

    
    01.14.09 at 3:11 pm
16. No Thanks Says:
    

    Just watched a movie about all of this called Noise, staring Tim Robbins. Aside from the beautiful love interest(s) in it, it sucks. Dude goes all vigilante on car alarms in NYC.

    
    01.14.09 at 4:05 pm
17. Nathaniel Day Louis Says:
    

    There’s an entire coffee table book full of little notes from roommates, coworkers and neighbors, laughing at or laughing with each note. “passive aggressive notes: painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings” by Kerry Miller. Not bad if you’re killing time and a bookstore is nearby.

    
    01.14.09 at 4:40 pm
18. Beef Says:
    

    I vomited through the open window and onto the front seat of a car, because it was parked on the inside of a blind curve, which almost killed me and another driver. He parked there to play faggot baseball, so I interrupted their game by screaming, “Faggots!,” stuck my finger down my throat and had me a ball.

    
    01.14.09 at 5:31 pm
19. peeps Says:
    

    Lol those are totally brown organic eggs form Whole Foods.

    
    01.14.09 at 5:49 pm
20. Dizzy Dean Says:
    

    I knew NY had fallen off, but this is fucking pathetic

    
    01.14.09 at 6:01 pm
21. lamazoid Says:
    

    keying a car and leaving a fake number? are you fucking kidding me? your boyfriend is a punk bitch.

    
    01.14.09 at 7:38 pm
22. miss appalachian Says:
    

    agreed. your bf is a nerd.

    
    01.14.09 at 8:54 pm
23. ew Says:
    

    the handwriting on the yellow note is fucking beautiful. it looks exactly like microsoft word font bradley hand itc tt. and i can say, as some one who has never owned a car, that keying cars is always high-larious. especially if u scratch on an upside down star of david and then write “satan rulez!” . ah, seventh grade. good times.

    
    01.14.09 at 9:45 pm
24. HalfAfrican Says:
    

    If you ever see a sticker or front license plate on a car, with a design that’s a black rectangle with a blue horizontal bar across the middle, that’s the symbol for a police officer or friend / relative’s vehicle, and it signifies, “Don’t give me a ticket.” You know what to do.

    
    01.15.09 at 3:45 am
25. hozman Says:
    

    HAHAHAHAHA! white people. so funn-ay!

    
    01.15.09 at 7:37 am
26. jerkin' it like it's 1982 Says:
    

    keying someone’s vehicle is pretty lame. slashing the tires is the more gentlemanly thing to do. they’re not as expensive to fix, and it still gets the point across.

    
    01.15.09 at 7:40 am
27. jerkin' it like it's 2009 Says:
    

    let the air out of the tires.

    keying a car is pretty fucking lame, even if the alarm was going off. i hope your boyfriend gets a venereal disease and passes it on to you! p.s. superb penmanship on that first note.

    
    01.15.09 at 8:11 am
28. Kennedy Says:
    

    Star of David is the same upside down. You’re talking about a 5 pointed star. I’m not even half Jewish like the rest of you queens!

    
    01.15.09 at 9:35 am
29. fartbombs Says:
    

    HalfAfrican Says:
    01.15.09 at 3:45 am
    If you ever see a sticker or front license plate on a car, with a design that’s a black rectangle with a blue horizontal bar across the middle, that’s the symbol for a police officer or friend / relative’s vehicle, and it signifies, “Don’t give me a ticket.” You know what to do.

    is that for real???

    
    01.15.09 at 9:50 am
30. deathbreath Says:
    

    I got into a scuffle with a huge 300lb polack a day or two ago here in chicago because he stole a spot that i dug out of the snow. The fag came at me with a shovel after i fucked with his car. When i told my old man about the fight he called me a pussy and said that when he was my age a friend of his and him broke out some dudes windshield and filled the inside of the car with water. His story made me feel like a pussy.

    
    01.15.09 at 10:28 am
31. SHITCOCK Says:
    

    NO, THE NOTE WITH THE FAKE IDENTITY IS NOT ANY MORE MANLY THAN THE OTHER LAME NOTES. NOR IS KEYING SOMEONE’S CAR WHEN THEY’RE NOT AROUND TO SEE YOU DO IT. YOUR BOYFRIEND IS JUST AS MUCH OF A DICKLESS WIMP AS THOSE OTHER 2, DON’T KID YOURSELF.

    
    01.15.09 at 10:59 am
32. Johann Ritter Says:
    

    @ Vane$$a

    Inspired by the article or by my post? I used to get into a lot of sh*t in SF before I moved to Hollywood. I’m on probation now so I can’t really strangle as many people, but I’d make an exception for the author’s boyfriend.

    
    01.15.09 at 6:53 pm
33. blognigger Says:
    

    hey faggot johann ritter – that a violation of your parole right there – physical threat wiseass

    
    01.16.09 at 12:22 am
34. Johann Ritter Says:
    

    Why so angry BN?

    Technically hypotheticals aren’t treated as “physical threats.” That’s like being arrested for saying,”If O.J. Simpson killed my mom, I’d totally strangle him.” Stop being a dick.

    
    01.16.09 at 6:19 am
35. Johann Ritter Says:
    

    No response BN?

    
    01.16.09 at 7:14 pm
36. dah man Says:
    

    What “Street Boning” said was dead-on.

    
    02.03.09 at 1:03 am
37. lol@u Says:
    

    christi is cool

    
    08.20.09 at 4:03 am

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