If you’re unfortunate enough to live in the Portland area, you are statistically very, very, VERY fucking likely to be of Caucasian stock, and I’d like to publicly shame you for not attending the pro-diversity “Roots Festival” being held there:
What does Portland have in common with places such as Canada and Australia?
It’s hard to find a whiter place on Earth!
What else do they have in common with those places?
Nowhere on Earth do people scream more loudly about “diversity”!
Can you—without inducing a brain hemorrhage—envision how ugly this scene will be? Imagine all the pasty faces forming drum circles, chanting, burning sage, closing their eyes, and pretending as HARD AS THEY FUCKING CAN that statistically, only Boston and Cincinnati are whiter than they are.
And at least Cincy and Boston have some real, hardcore, belligerent, riot-prone all-black neighborhoods. No such thing exists in “diverse” Portland.
I’ve been in Atlanta over a year. There’s a high likelihood that more black people live on my block than reside in all of Portland. Magically and mystifyingly, I haven’t heard the word “diversity” once.
Why is it that the least diverse, least truly multicultural locales—places such as Portland, Canada, and Australia—beat the “diversity” drum the loudest? Is it merely some weird racial mutation of survivor guilt? Help America’s Whitest Nigga out here, please.
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I live in Sacramento. We send all our faggy white hipsters up to Portland and in return, Oakland sends us all its black gang bangers. If that’s not diversity, I don’t know what to tell you.
05.23.08 at 11:42 am
Portland? That where they got all the trees and the rain and shit?
05.23.08 at 11:46 am
seems the echo is getting closer
http://www.jimgoad.net/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=news;action=display;num=1130514826;start=150#150
05.23.08 at 11:56 am
good comic. I think that white people get bored with each other! they want “diversity” to stimulate them, and so scream the word the way a child screams for sweets. But at the same time the white folk value their safety over anything, and so are stuck in boring places whining about homogeneity or whatever. Personally, I’d sooner risk murder or robbery over a slow and painful life in Canada any day.
05.23.08 at 12:34 pm
…and why does this bother you? Are you paying either website to read his stuff?
05.23.08 at 12:37 pm
Excuse me? Canada isn’t culturally diverse? What the fuck do you base that on Jimmy? Did you go to Saskatchewan for like 4 minutes once in the 80’s? We have one of the most multi-cultural society’s on the planet! Unlike the U.S. we don’t believe in an “everyone act the same” MELTING-POT, we have a cultural MOSAIC…Bitch!
05.23.08 at 12:38 pm
Apparently I know a lot more than you.
I know that Canadians like to TELL themselves they’re diverse, but the facts tell a different story:
Blacks? 2.6 percent of Canadian population. 13% of America’s. In fact, Canada’s TOTAL quotient of “visible minorities” is roughly the same as America’s percentage of blacks alone, who are currently outnumbered in the U.S. by Hispanics alone. So just counting blacks and Hispanics, we have more than DOUBLE your TOTAL quotient of nonwhites.
In 2006, there were nearly eight million more black people living in the USA than there were total people living in all of Canada.
In 2006, there were 12.7 million more Hispanics living in the USA than there were total people living in all of Canada.
In 2006, there were almost five million more foreign-born people living in the USA than there were total people living in all of Canada.
By the way, “societies” is a plural, not a possessive, ya retard.
05.23.08 at 12:47 pm
^^^ truth. I know J. Goad’s just being glib(ertarian) and all, but ignorance is ignorance is zzzzzz. Hey Jim SAY SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS!
05.23.08 at 12:55 pm
Thanks for proving his point about the jackasses who live in non-diverse places having some fruity need to insist they’re diverse.
05.23.08 at 1:02 pm
nice one jimsies! you show that little fag canada that it isn’t cool because nobody is black there at all! white people are snoozefest, nobody wants to live with all kinds of white people everywhere. fuck you non-cool canada. america: “i have black friends”
dear america, lets hang out sometime. maybe i can one day live close to a bunch of black people and automatically become a more interesting person.
your boring waste of existence white neighbor,
candyda
05.23.08 at 1:13 pm
Okay, somebody has to call Goad out for cherry-picking his stats pretty bad in his response. Including aboriginal peoples, Canada and the US have roughly the same amount of visible minorities per capita, so big whoop. And because Goad is so hung up on race (actually, Black People), we’re not even accounting for the real, actual, cultural disparity among the bazillions of different socio-political groups in Canada (ie – Quebecois might as well be from a different fucking planet). I’m not getting a hard-on for Canadian “multi-culturalism” or (puke) “the mosiac” (which is actually a bullshit nation-building political process whereby identities in immigrant and refugee communities are stripped and normalized), just saying that there might have a been a better example upon which to platform your spurious rhetoric (ie – Ireland, Iceland, or Argentina AKA surprise, the most caucasian country on the planet).
05.23.08 at 1:25 pm
“Including aboriginal peoples, Canada and the US have roughly the same amount of visible minorities per capita, so big whoop.”
Your source?
And nice misuse of “per capita.” You can’t have “minorities” per individual head, genius.
05.23.08 at 1:29 pm
“Including aboriginal peoples, Canada and the US have roughly the same amount of visible minorities per capita, so big whoop.”
Percentage of nonwhites in America (this includes Hispanics of all races): 34%.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_states#Demographics
Percentage of nonwhites in America (unsure how Hispanics are tabulated, although “Latin Americans” are included): 16.2%
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visible_minorities
05.23.08 at 1:35 pm
“Including aboriginal peoples, Canada and the US have roughly the same amount of visible minorities per capita, so big whoop.”
Percentage of visible minorities in Canada: 16.2%
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visible_minorities
Percentage of “minorities” in America: 34.%
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_states#Demographics
These stats are somewhat murky, as the American stats include “Hispanic or Latino (of any race),” while the Canuck stats only allow for “Latin-Americans.”
Still, if a race-specific bomb were to kill EVERY Hispanic in America, Euro-descended or not, America would STILL be more diverse than Canada.
You will now apologize.
05.23.08 at 1:39 pm
Jesus Christ. I’m not rigorously foot-noting a street carnage comment for peer review, you douchebag. my source, as it is with every other statement on the internet, is wikipedia. If you don’t believe me, take about 4 seconds to look it up.
05.23.08 at 1:42 pm
nothing is more white than Poland or Belarus or Russia or lots of other Eastern European counties. and ain’t nobody clamoring for diversity.
i think jimbo is talking about comparitively rich white people – oregon, Canada etc.
cuz in Russia when non-whites started coming lets just say no one was forming fucking drum circles – unless you count using the african dude’s head as the drum and your boots as the drum sticks. ditto for Scotland actually – Rangers FC bitches!
05.23.08 at 1:43 pm
From Wikipedia:
Percentage of “visible minorities” in Canada: 16.2%.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_Demographics
Percentage of “minorities” in USA: 34%.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_states
The latter stat is somewhat muddy, as it counts Hispanics “of any race,” while those diverse Canadians only count “Latin-Americans.” But even if a race-specific bomb were to drop and kill every Hispanic in the USA, including the perhaps DOZEN MILLION or so with no European ancestry, America would still consist of 19.9% nonwhites and outpace Canada on the diversity tip.
05.23.08 at 1:49 pm
Oh, I get it now. Canada and Australia aren’t cool at all because they aren’t culturally diverse enough. Ohkayyye.
Thanks for clearing that up with all those stats Jim. The rules of this fucking whose cooler game/more ironic contest are getting a bit much dont you think?
Just FYI – by 2015, 25% of the population of the city I live in (and its in Canada) will be Native Canadian (I cant say Bogan b/c thats not PC). Do I qualify as living in a diverse enough community to be recognised or do miniorites other than black people not count? Personally, I dont sit around with my cup of joe in the morning, musing about how un-diverse I am and then making myself feel better by reciting the mantra, “i am am diverse” all day. Apparently, many much cooler Americans spend thier time thinking about Me sitting around in Canada telling myself “I am diverse”. Thats gay and a bit of a waste of your time.
Fuck you and your cool police.
05.23.08 at 2:07 pm
Cultural homogeneity in no way makes Canada and Australia uncool to me. And the fact that my fam is the only white one on my block in Atlanta is A-OK with me, too. I made a conscious decision to move into an all-black hood. That’s how “hung-up” I am on black people.
But the overweening need of Canadians and Australians and Portlanders to repeatedly fucking ANNOUNCE they’re diverse when in fact they aren’t, at least not compared to the locales they’re always demonizing for being racist, impresses me as tres uncool.
Clearer?
05.23.08 at 2:23 pm
Ok. I get that. and I do see your point about the fucking soapbox us Canadians can sometimes get on. However, some of us from said locales dont go in for the soapbox bullshit and truth be told, we veer as far away from that shit as possible.
So, yes, you may be correct about our diversity insecurity BUT not all of us are waspy soccer moms in magic wagons with something to prove. I bet you know that too.
Hug a Bogan today (thats supposed to be a joke, assholes in case you have no sense of humor)
05.23.08 at 2:33 pm
I’m not really sure what you’re saying Goad. Are you saying that you’re the only enlightened person who really understands the race issue (You seem to be the mayor of Blackton based on your blackest of black streets, No diggity)? Or that there is no race issue in America today? Or that the race issue should just be ignored? It’s one thing to call out all the bullshit pandering and empty gestures thrown around by those fighting to “end racism” (which is fucking impossible. Until evolution makes us all a delicious shade of mocha someone will always hate the way you look and act for no other reason than it’s different). But you don’t really add anything. Doing nothing but calling bullshit on everyone else all day is nothing more than bullshit itself, it’s like the people who sit at home watching sports and talk about how “we’re” doing, you’re not really in the game.
05.23.08 at 2:34 pm
My “point,” which is essentially the ONLY point I’ve hammered on in my writing for the past decade or so, is that human psychology is fraught with hypocrisy, scapegoating, and guilt-projection to a degree I never anticipated in my younger days.
This is why people living in non-diverse climes who scream about diversity are interesting to me. Same reason that fat dykes with Charles Durning faces who scream about “sex-positivity” are interesting to me. Same reason that American blacks who yammer about how bad they have it here but never THINK about moving back to Africa are interesting to me.
And as far as calling bullshit being bullshit, you just called bullshit on that, so you’re far deeper in the bullshit than I am, my friend.
05.23.08 at 2:41 pm
Psychology…
Agree with that people bragging about being diverse is stupid.
Take Toronto, Ontario where they advertise themselves as the most diverse city IN THE WORLD like it’s not going to suck. Who gives a shit if your neighbor is whatever? Unless you take note that all violent crime is by Jamaicans/west indians.
05.23.08 at 3:05 pm
Um, what locales do Canadians actually “DEMONIZE” for being racist? Aparthied South Africa?? Maaaybe? In my experience, the only people Canadians really demonize for being racist are racists. Which might have something to do why I’m calling you on this, not coincidentally. Congrats on living by black people, by the way.
Moreover, if by “Canadians” you mean your pie-in-the-sky group of pure homogenic whiteness to the north who act in lockstep then you’re underscoring the ignorance of your point. If you’re talking about our Government, then , hey, there’s a shitload of us who think it is also tres uncool, but not because we’re ignorant enough to deny that there is diversity here in the first place. “Multi-culturalism” is a policy of whitewashing our many many cultural identities. Other than “Not-being-American”, the “Mosiac” is all the flimsy Canadian Nation really has to hold it together, and its a stupid oppressive nation building term, much like, oh I don’t know, “Liberty” or some other Bush-ism has become for America.
Real talk.
05.23.08 at 3:09 pm
master, I’m sorry, but your last entry made no sense
05.23.08 at 3:20 pm
Hey Jim,
Dont you hate it when people call you “jimmy” or jimbo”
Thats gay.
05.23.08 at 3:23 pm
Jim, although you’re right that Atlanta has a high black population, it is by no means diverse. A city whose population is over 92% Black or White can’t really be described as racially diverse. So that’s probably why you don’t hear too much about diversity, because you live in one of the most dichromatic cities in the U.S. Just sayin’ is all.
05.23.08 at 3:24 pm
Master: You will henceforth spell “mosaic” correctly. You’ve blown it twice now.
Regarding your question: For what seems like a dozen years now, it’s been my consistent observation that Canadians (and, ironically the British people whose ancestors were the primary colonizers and enslavers of Africa) tend to weld the words “Americans” alongside the word “racist” or “redneck.”
I’m not saying my experience is representative of everyone’s, but I sat silently for years while self-proclaimed Canucks ascended the soapbox and ragged on the USA for being a hotbed of bigotry. I’ve been exposed mainly to magazine rants and online ramblings rather than your government-sponsored propaganda, so that’s how I formed my opinion that a substantial quotient of Canucks hold such opinions about Americans.
This has always struck me as hypocritical, because it would seem that in order to be racist, you need races in the plural sense, which Canada sorely lacks in comparison to the USA. In other words, Canadian’s haven’t been really put to a real test of their ethnic tolerance. (BTW, wikipedia’s “Canadian Demographics” page lists a quotient of 16.2% “visible minorities.” That includes all perceived nonwhites, including your hordes of aboriginals. This is roughly the same quotient of blacks alone in the US (12.9%). And as stated previously, Hispanics in the USA outnumber the blacks.)
You have a good point that multiculturalism seems designed to homogenize rather than truly encourage and homosexually “celebrate” human differences.
05.23.08 at 3:44 pm
Yes, I realize I just made the plural “Canadians” into a possessive. It’s karma for being a fag and lecturing others about grammar.
05.23.08 at 3:45 pm
How much mure fun wood tha internat be withot all the Grammarnistas?
05.23.08 at 3:50 pm
Ok, cool, I understand. If your personal experience is grounded largely in online ramblings, etc, then, sure, you’ll find Canadians (and every other stripe of person) who believe that latent racism is just part of American Southern culture(s). Moreover, most rational, non-online-rambling Canadians do probably believe that the USA, as a nation and hegemonic structure, is, at the very least, a little racist (but is far from unique in that capacity). But I just don’t buy that most average Canadian individuals believe that most average American individuals are anymore bigoted or racist than Average Joes in any other country in the world. If that is what your contending, then we just disagree.
Another, more fundamental, disagreement might be that you see plurality or racial convergence, in the 21st century, as a catalyst for fomenting racism. On the contrary, some of the vilest, most retarded forms of racism are fostered in racial seclusion, the product of profound cultural and physical disconnection. I mean Racist attitudes and beliefs always reveal much less about the race being discriminated against then they do about the individual who holds them. You can definitely have racism without racial plurality (see a KKK meeting), so if you really believe Canada is am especially heinous WASP Valhalla, then in this analysis, you might be spot-on. But, in my opinion, you got Canada’s demographic twisted.
05.23.08 at 4:45 pm
I’m sure our larger land mass with remote northern tundras skew the statistics. If you look at urban areas the statistics are much different than Mr Goad believes
For example
Toronto 43% visible minority, Vancouver 42% visible minority
05.23.08 at 4:54 pm
yeah and about those remote northern tundras (like 75% of the country’s land). there isn’t a white dude to be found there, and white dudes have no business going there.
05.23.08 at 4:59 pm
wow, Jim, you really are a shit-magnet. Check out how many Canadian-windbags you’ve roused!
05.23.08 at 5:48 pm
Fuck Canada.
05.23.08 at 9:58 pm
I can’t believe I actually read all of that. I mean the celebrate diversity cartoon and writing was funny but it was definitely downhill from there.
05.24.08 at 1:16 am
jim likes to think he’s controversial……….he’ll be the first one to say he’s a scapegoat boo fucking hoo
05.24.08 at 10:29 am
This is why people living in non-diverse climes who scream about diversity are interesting to me.
Maybe you could start actually naming names? Not the name of a festival, but the names of actual people. Real targets. Otherwise it’s just your-pet-peeve strawman bullshit.
But the overweening need of Canadians and Australians and Portlanders to repeatedly fucking ANNOUNCE they’re diverse
Yes, it was very annoying when I went to Australia. People wouldn’t cut the “overweening need to announce they’re diverse” act, and it totally ruined my vacation. Same for Canada. I’m never going back there. Every day I was there, every Canadian I met was up in my face screaming about Canadian diversity. Mostly the white Canadians, though. That really chapped my hide!
05.24.08 at 11:34 am
I knowingly moved into a black neighborhood so I could be a martyr about it.
05.24.08 at 11:41 am
come on don’t leave us out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plQpLPy1eao
some dumb canuck trying to say Canada is a successful experiment in diversity/multiculturalism even when he was proven otherwise in a debate with Jared Taylor:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5026142511425632410
notice also how the canuck calls Jared Taylor a racist and claims Taylor’s ancestors were slave owners to try and win the argument.
05.24.08 at 4:24 pm
What’s worse? People living in mostly white communities, claiming to celebrate diversity, or people living in diverse communities, claiming to celebrate diversity, yet never actually hanging out with the people who make it “diverse?”
05.25.08 at 1:17 am
Are you doing some sort of Canadian diversity Math?
05.25.08 at 5:49 am
white people are stupid and try to hard to “prove” things
i love being a dirty bean
05.25.08 at 6:19 pm
In general white people view themselves as saviors and that’s the problem- they always seem to know what’s best for you and therefore have all the fucking answers. Perhaps if the decision makers, i.e., the master fucking race, figured this one out for themselves for once instead of always having to be told then perhaps maybe we’d all get past the fucken retarded bullshit. just saying.
05.25.08 at 7:07 pm
i wholeheartedly agree with Mr Goad on this one.
i never had the urge to side with him before, but the comments on here, with their knee-jerk emotional reaction, where in typical internet fashion everything is taken as a deeply personal offense… by some bleeding heart, devil-may-care, post-9/11 chat-room warrior who argues like somebodies mother at a ‘dinner party’ after they’ve had too many wines.
goddam, you all just made me a Jim Goad fan.
Cheers.
Ps. and f*k australia. they used to have a game here (not so long ago really) where the idea was to bury an aborigine in the sand and see how many kicks it took to knock their head off. but you’d never know that because the australians are such down to earth people.
05.25.08 at 7:08 pm
it aint that white here in australia.
its turning yellow.
05.25.08 at 7:57 pm
Bal’ed, if your kiss-off “Cheers” doesn’t epitomize the metal-up-your-ass!!! attitude of a “devil-may-care, post-9/11 chat-room warrior,” I don’t know what does. Pretty corny. Check these out:
Cheerio.
Tally ho.
Ta ta for now.
05.25.08 at 10:54 pm
Lot’s of whitey in Utah. Lot’s of mexi too, but nearly no black folk. Portland looks like a meeting of the Nation of Islam in comparison.
05.26.08 at 12:06 am
I think goad sucks, but he’s right about this. In my experience traveling, the worst are the fucking europeans, who whine and whine about America when they are the most racist pieces of shit in the world from incredibly racist countries. racism is still prevalent everywhere, yes, but America is far less racist than 99% of over countries. and we treat our immigrants better than 99% of the world as well. Immigrants can still move here, work their asses off, and earn a good living and rise up in socioeconomic classes. not the case in “progressive” europe.
05.26.08 at 7:33 pm
god, the french are the worst. what a bunch of sniveling hypocrites.
05.26.08 at 7:33 pm
All y’all are gay
05.27.08 at 8:59 am
The diversity cunts and multi-kulti komrades make me prey to Sugar Popa Satan that a Boyd Rice grade of Social Darwinism kicks in and a large supply of ammunition is your only 401K program.
Misanthophy means never having to say sorry to anyone…
12.14.08 at 12:46 am