Ever notice how, the bigger the company, the more shitty their stuff is? It’s like corporate monopolies eventually become communist dictatorships. Using Air Canada’s website is like hacking into the mainframe and decoding the Pentagon’s toppest secrets. You can’t believe it’s meant for mortals. Same with Fedex’s website. You have to basically work there to know how to use it. This is because you have zillions of employees, petrified of getting fired, doing the least creative thinking possible.
Which brings me to this box. Who the fuck designed this piece of shit, a team of salesmen? Where are your eyes supposed to go? Tony? Indiana? Frosted Flakes? 35% More? Action Packed? Kellog’s? It’s a motherfucking pizza pie of bullshit that looks more like a High School locker than a cereal box.
And you couldn’t cut out Harrison Ford properly? What is he, radioactive? He looks like a wet peach that got forgotten behind the fridge. Here’s a notion: You make Frosted Flakes gigantic across the top and Tony’s face almost as big, then you can throw all your bullshit movie and health promo in the corners wherever. If the sales guys say they need equal billing for all images you say, “No.”
Where’s the CEO of Kellogg’s walking in and taking charge of his company? Frank Mars would never let this happen. He used to fucking taste test all of his company’s dog food! Can we get some balls please?
This cereal box does not make me think Frosted Flakes are healthy nor does it make me want to see Indiana Jones. It reminds me of my homeland Quebec and all the shitty French Canadian posters the government would pay them to make.
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are you ranting about a cereal box?
05.08.08 at 3:41 pm
have you seen Kashi’s “Good Friends”? it looks like the cover of a face-cancer awareness pamphlet
05.08.08 at 4:07 pm
ARE YOU SAYING YOUR FROM QUEBEC! FUCK YOU AND INDIANA JONES, AND FUCK YOU TOO TONY.IM GRRRRREAT!!!!!!!
05.08.08 at 4:16 pm
This was fucking grrrrrreat!
05.08.08 at 4:30 pm
WHAT IS SO FUCKEN GRRRRRREAT,MY DICK SIZE, OR THE FACT THAT THE STREET CARNAGE BOYS ARE FROM QUEBEC….. RAT BASTARDS, SHOVE A HOCKEY PUCK IN YOUR ASSES!!!
05.08.08 at 4:38 pm
Re: “This is because you have zillions of employees, petrified of getting fired…”
Kellogg’s, FedEx, Air Canada… all those companies are unionized, n’est-ce pas? In that case, their employees are contractually obligated to fuck the dog daily and they can only be fired if they show up to work drunk and grab the wrong person’s tits in the lunchroom on any day other than Casual Friday. I reckon complacency and over-whelming job security are to blame for that there breach of breakfast nook aesthetics.
05.08.08 at 5:13 pm
Indy looks like Freddy Kreuger.
05.08.08 at 6:54 pm
i see crap like this all the time and it disgusts me. why is that the bigger the company/brand the shittier the design work?
05.08.08 at 7:58 pm
Ottawa? non?
05.08.08 at 8:04 pm
Yeah, what the fuck Gavin?
Your homeland is Ottawa, Ontario. Why can’t you be ashamed like the rest of us?
05.08.08 at 9:26 pm
its kind of ironic that the posters for Indiana Jones have brought back the awesome hand-painted images that have been absent from movie advertising for the past decade or so.. but then some fuckhead kid with adobe illustrator pulls this shit out of his slimey ass. i dont even know whether if what i just said is ‘ironic’, i just dont think i have ever used that word in my life and i figured that this article was probably my best shot at using the word ironic.. maybe its just cause i wanna see iron man.. he’s kind of bionic, and he’s made of iron.. so i guess that equals ironic. but i seriously do hate that fucking adobe illustrator. the whole graphic design idustry at the moment is fucked.. last time i checked ‘illustrations’ were hand-drawn pieces of art.. not some junk that looks like the corel draw bullshit from the 90s. so all in all, summing up, + in conclusion, the cereal box sucks..
05.08.08 at 11:37 pm
ha, i’ve lived in ottawa as well and quebec for approximately the same amount of years, each-give or take a couple years and i’d definitely take quebec over ottawa any day…..ottawa has the market and it used to have hull after the bar, but no more…in montreal ya can party all nite in some places, the liquor board does indeed not giv a fuck! having said all that, anyone ever go have a few pitchers at the laff when it was still the laff?
i agree with your comments about air canada and its employees, gavin. bell expressvue are cocksuckers as well.
05.09.08 at 9:45 am
I have been to the laff and it will still give you the runs. And of course there’s Lucky Ron on Saturday afternoons…
05.10.08 at 6:12 pm
i think that “VALUE!” needs one more exclamation point
05.13.08 at 7:14 pm
The Laff is the shit. John Carroll on Wednesday nights > Lucky Ron.
10.06.08 at 11:40 am