While I’m still drunk and sassy: What the fuck is going on with this site? The site was cool a year or so ago because it was a cesspool for the uncensored thoughts of angry young people and other miscellaneous assholes. For better and worse, this was working really well because anti-censorship is righteous and all. The posts were irrelevant, immature, lame, stupid, sad, but in a totally different way than what’s going on now.
Almost all recent posts (including my own, some of which I didn’t think you would even post because they were so ass-tastic) have been reading like: “FML, BECAUSE OF THE PICTURE, I WAS PUSSIED INTO READING ANOTHER TOO LONG, WAY LITERAL STREET CARNAGE POST’S IRRELEVANT EXPLANATION OF WHY I SHOULD RESPECT THE INFREQUENT, FILLER CONTENT OR THINK SOMEONE IS WAY RAD BECAUSE THEY HANG OUT AND TAKE PICTURES OF IT. EVEN THE BONERS ARE KIND OF SUCKING UP THE JOINT, SO I’MA GO READ JEZEBEL.”
Due to what I can only attribute to our present level of SUCKING, some of the commenters who used to make me wet my pants with glee have since dropped off the face of the planet. I miss them. Don’t you want them back? We’ve even pissed off Vane$$a’s apparently hard-working ass by resorting to cunt shots [NSFW] to up site hits. Now that we’re so pent on making our image “happen” and “upping site hits,” we’ve fucked ourselves dry. It was easier to digest when nobody gave two shits worth a damn and posted unedited, uncut, pathetically dumb submissions.
Basically, you can’t let people in on a joke they don’t want to be in on. You have to give the readers a little bit of credit. They learned to fucking read didn’t they? That’s how we would stimulate things like “readership” and “commenters” and “class”.
I’ve been rep’ing this site since its inception, and I loved what it used to be. I started to contribute complete and utter SHIT because I think SHIT is what passes the time at work, is funny because it’s bad, and gets the commenters to write angry things about us like, “Lori is a fat girl’s name.” It doesn’t have to be real, smart, socially provocative, or even use good syntax. It just has to not pussy whip people into a coma, and not make me want to write you long drunken e-mails about why I am totally over it.
And did you know my name is actually LB? Because Lori is a fat girl’s name.
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STREET BONER 1127
Being straight edge as a kid is a great way to rebel against: puking, getting pregnant, and wrapping your parent’s car around a tree.
Bad Behavior has blocked 4360 access attempts in the last 7 days.
wat
10.19.09 at 10:22 am
word
10.19.09 at 10:36 am
Link-filled stunt for hits.
10.19.09 at 10:37 am
My grandma complained about the past always being better, too. Nostalgia doesn’t count for much, and people ignored her, too.
(Namely, stop talking about what was so awesome before and just make with the awesome now.)
10.19.09 at 10:53 am
ughh a “chutzpah” post. you just did a back flip over the shark
10.19.09 at 11:10 am
awwwwwww
<3
10.19.09 at 11:12 am
I still say we need another good internet war with another site like the whole MissBehave fiasco. I think that flaming Gawker or Jezebel would make that happen.
10.19.09 at 11:19 am
‘member when gay marriage was all the rage? What happened to that?
10.19.09 at 11:25 am
gawker has the most baffling comments policy in existence. I was shooed off after like a day then something I posted just for my own edifcation showed up months later. if you just try and come off like a really bland NYC wannabee person you will get in just fyi. like say something about mayor bloombergs pants or the whitney museum or somehting awful and you’ll be acepted
10.19.09 at 11:27 am
Gawker’s weekend faggot editor booted me off for making a dick/helicpter joke with regards to that mid-air chopper crash that they at the time were reporting that EVERYONE was alive, because you are supposed to get your news from twitter like a huge faggot.
10.19.09 at 11:33 am
it doesn’t suck that much
10.19.09 at 11:45 am
it does
10.19.09 at 12:12 pm
It currently sucks because your article is currently on the home page.
10.19.09 at 12:19 pm
It sucks. It’s the whole teen posse with the exception of Arv, that’s bringing it down. Kid’s alright, and if you don’t think he is, remember that he’s brown. We gotta give the brown kids a break.
10.19.09 at 12:41 pm
urgh who cares
whats really disturbing is how few good sites there actually ARE on the internet
its astounding
10.19.09 at 12:50 pm
You know this site is starting to suck when you see kids like Felicia on it.
Jesus, just click on her name.
10.19.09 at 1:06 pm
@ scabby rats
you are accurate.
10.19.09 at 1:22 pm
this is what ive been saying for months.
10.19.09 at 1:45 pm
I think the self-depricating nature of this post would have been more effective if it wasn’t itself snore-inducing nonsense.
10.19.09 at 2:23 pm
Agreed with Cunty Baws.
10.19.09 at 2:38 pm
Scabby, Vane$$a, & Cunty are all correct. Enough of this “Teen Steam”® please.
10.19.09 at 2:43 pm
I like a site that debates its own suckage and an author who says yeah, I’m fat.
10.19.09 at 2:55 pm
lol @ awful.
you’re directing so much traffic to my site. I’ve been checking SBTC for the past 2 years, and comment only sometimes. Sucks I can’t entertain you..
10.19.09 at 2:55 pm
but I can -wink wink-
10.19.09 at 2:56 pm
yeah, AWFUL IRENE, VALERIE THANG, IT’S A GOOD THIN THEY DON’T ACTUALLY GET PAID.
10.19.09 at 2:57 pm
@a4awesome: You sure can girly girl, entertain us
10.19.09 at 2:58 pm
@awful I’ll start by spelling correctly and working my way up from there
sounds good?
10.19.09 at 3:07 pm
I’d be with the other regulars on this issue, except Arv chokes dick too. See the post above this one.
10.19.09 at 3:12 pm
Support the working-class: Loosen up your tight Scots ass and pay Jim Goad to write for you.
10.19.09 at 3:27 pm
everyone just works for american apparel now, you should diversify your sponsors so you don’t have to worry about offending the one company that pays for the site, like get tobacco and booze companies to throw in. they have trouble finding places to advertise and what idiot would get pissy about seeing lucky strike ads on the sidebar here? as for me, I smoke newports so black bums think i’m cool when they ask me for a cigarette and i give them one because i’m scared of them (they’re black)
10.19.09 at 3:35 pm
Jim Goad had a little tiff about a political post of Gavin’s. He got his knickers in a wad and stormed off, never to be seen again. It was quite a while ago. Plus, if you follow Goad on Twitter, he’s kinda working a little too hard at the humor thing.
10.19.09 at 3:51 pm
no, sbtc sucks because there is no quality control. i was thinking about this as i was looking through my old vice mags. gavin is good on his own but he needs folks to butt heads with. unfortunately we are now in an age where nothing is shocking and a lot (but still not everything) has already been reported. this is no longer punk.
shit, interview hookers, interview ppl with AIDS, interview angry middle americans, just get the fuck out of new york. stop trying to be HIP. this is very self aware and trying NOT to be vice.
hire edgy photographers, start talking to artists again, start bringing in fiction writing.
folks like blognigger and wasted pushups guy were very succesful because they were for the most part, self referential. most of the shit here is either heavily referencing whats already on the internet or referencing other places that have taken heavily from the format and content that early vice created.
stop fucking trying to be vice, fucking grab IT by the balls and fucking lead already.
up the intelligence level and be assholes again. right now you guys are just being……….milktoasts.
10.19.09 at 3:55 pm
you guys need a tack sharp creative director. for trill.
10.19.09 at 3:56 pm
i like what no. thanks. just said. the comment at 3:55. that’s about right.
10.19.09 at 4:24 pm
@Dork:
Do you just make up shit as you go along? Goad’s departure had nothing to do with any of Gavin’s political rants. It had to do with outing Gavin and Beckles for posting about themselves under pseudonyms.
10.19.09 at 4:27 pm
WHAT??? WE DO THAT?
10.19.09 at 4:39 pm
“LCC Says:
I like a site that debates its own suckage and an author who says yeah, I’m fat”
well yeah, but you have to admit you are the “lb” who started this topic
“Goad’s departure ”
the guys big claim to fame is getting pwned by Heavy D on politically incorrect before pwned became a word. Vice used their “offensive” anti religous left wing/ canadian style and crossed it with his horror fanboy schtick and it gave VICE legitmacy. they were doing something an AMERICAN did, it wasn’t just that canadian humor, it had substance.
10.19.09 at 4:40 pm
there was a point when i didnt even read the site i just read the comments
but now i dont read anything i just comment and jerk off in the mirror
10.19.09 at 4:53 pm
@no. thanks
thanks.
10.19.09 at 4:54 pm
i just think it’s over. vice too. i’ve been wondering what they were up to letting the teenagers run the site, trying to pass the torch or something? i would read those val and aileen and arv posts and just wonder WHY.
you take a guy like gavin who managed to haunt the psyche of every hipster on the planet for ten years, all of a sudden he’s letting people like that take over his site? i gave them a chance thinking i just wasn’t getting the joke but they’re really as lame as they seem.
it’s weird, but not really. things change. you can’t be funny forever.
10.19.09 at 5:25 pm
this is not the way i thought things would turn out
10.19.09 at 5:33 pm
well i’ve been reading this shite for years and will keep reading it. why, i don’t know. i drank the kool aid and can’t find the antidote. just about everything on the internet blows dead dogs, licks a bag of dirty dicks, etc…
10.19.09 at 5:40 pm
but yeah, maybe forget about n.y. for a couple of months…i’m sure it’s lovely there, but most people couldn’t give a flying fuck, you know?
10.19.09 at 5:41 pm
@Dork
To further the point made by “Says,” search SBTVC for all comments made by the commenter known as Loomis. It is Gavin. Gavin won’t acknowledge that, but it’s his most prominent sock puppet (among others). Goad was annoyed about two things: Gavin wrote a post making fun of anonymous commenters, and Blognigger wrote a post making fun of the commenter known as “too long” for using sock puppets.
So maybe the site sucks, at least in part, because it is run by a guy who likes to pose as a heavy-bag-hitting tuffbro when it’s time to tackle the pervasive bugaboo of anonymous commenters … and who also loves to act as an anonymous commenter when he feels like praising himself. Self-obsessed delusion.
10.19.09 at 5:48 pm
it sucks because there isn’t much going on in the world and it’s reflection of that. the strokes weren’t as good as nirvana or janes addiction. culture hasn’t really done anything since 2000. without the internet none of the new music or movies would have been made just by some guy and put out by someone else on their merits. nothing has any merits. art is dead so vice is dead
10.19.09 at 5:52 pm
to be honest, this site was never that great to begin with. I’m just here trying to relieve the overwhelming sense of boredom pervading this existence in even the smallest, most temporary way. what used to be marginally interesting content has now degraded into the blandest type of self-conscious drivel.
my girlfriend has a saying though, which she says to friends in the depths of gambling or drug addiction. she says “you have to hit rock bottom.” I tell her that’s not really the best advice to give someone who has gone $30k into debt and depleted a hubby’s bank account on the sneak. but in your case, it applies. the good news is, you’ve arrived! rock bottom, this is it. you can only get better now. congrats.
10.19.09 at 6:01 pm
there is a lot going on in the world bobby brown. a lot. its happening now but we just havent caught up to it yet.
10.19.09 at 6:04 pm
what a mess
10.19.09 at 6:44 pm
@ Vane$$a
“support the working class”
please do, sir, please do.
10.19.09 at 8:09 pm
btw I was in a billionaire’s apartment today and saw his fridge and it had wine and bud light. for real? bud light? the richest men in the world drink bud fucking light?
10.19.09 at 8:12 pm
Hey, this is like that time Gavin left Vice.
10.19.09 at 8:21 pm
what you guys really need to do is get back to posting on those fucking weird sexual fetishes, like the whole ‘vore’ thing, etc. and if you’re going to post shots of a freshly shorn asian snatch, make sure we can see who it belongs to with a series of photos so that we can actually beat off to it.
and as long as you insist on being political, you could at least try writing an erotic story about obama fucking somebody (anybody). even michelle. or maybe like having sarah palin fuck him with a giant strap-on while fellating hugo chavez. anyway i think it would be a terrific story.
10.19.09 at 8:30 pm
maybe just have more articles about how you suck, and then everyone can open up and talk about shit like they are now. (hahaha) (i think)
10.19.09 at 8:58 pm
plus, it’s easier to say something sucks than to commend someone for doing a good job now and then.
10.19.09 at 9:03 pm
FUCK YOU first of all for probably feeling like you accomplished something by writing this. You sound like the kid who gets left behind by all their old friends when they move from elementary to junior high. It’s something called ‘moving forward’ and if you can’t handle that then by all means, kindly FUCK OFF somewhere else. You’re right, a lot of what started this site is shit, and a lot of what is on this site is shit. You make it sound like somehow the fact that it happened a year ago makes it better. In effect, what you are really saying is “Please someone give me a time machine so I can go back to when I was able to find fulfilment in looking at a website that made me feel special”. Well guess what: you’re not. All you are is a fucking FAT bitch who can’t write for shit sending drunk emails that say ‘I am over it’ when clearly you are not. Do all of us a favour and the next time you are drunk and sexually unsatisfied please just open your freezer door and stick your head in a box of ice cream sandwiches until the feeling passes.
FAT!!!
10.19.09 at 9:06 pm
Listen you fucking faggots…maybe the COMMENTERS started slurping furry necro balls down their shitty throats? One hundred percent uncensored equals one hundred percent potential for awesome, and it’s both partee’s’’s fault’s’s for not coming through with anything worthwhile/mirthwhile. The funny comment people all left, and now we’re stuck with boring losers.
Then again…the articles you linked to, those were like the last funny ones anybody read! Thought they just came out, like that one about Objectum-sexuals seems really recent, but I guess shit since then has gone downhill huh. How hard is it to find nasty shit on the internet and post it for the world to see?
10.19.09 at 9:22 pm
Free Consultation:
@ Gavin: Redefine your facial hair.
@ Beckles: Tits or GTFO.
10.19.09 at 9:22 pm
“one hundred percent uncensored” is a good thing, but when you have blognigger writing articles/veiled threats like that XTC shit, it’s gonna have people reaching for the remote, not out of fear but from the straight up lameness and hypocrisy of the whole thing. oh no, they have my IP address and they know what region of this big ass country i live in! i just soiled myself! are you serious?
and fuck the hey hey we’re the monkees beach blanket bingo pajama party crew too.
10.19.09 at 9:30 pm
Isn’t time for some luminary to OD again?
10.19.09 at 9:33 pm
Isn’t IT time for some luminary to OD again?
10.19.09 at 9:33 pm
yeah, if that happens gavin can sit up all night doing tribute lines and be “interesting” again.
10.19.09 at 9:35 pm
As long as we’re lodging complaints/making requests…I’d just like to say that I truly enjoyed that hard-core BDSM vid you posted. With the rise of redtube, porn is a bit irrelevant, but that shit really got me thinking outside the box (no pun intended)! More please!
10.19.09 at 9:40 pm
This is wise stuff.
10.19.09 at 9:56 pm
@ Vane$$a
Agreed. BN’s conduct warrants a written apology to the entire streetcarnage fanbase. PRONTO.
10.19.09 at 10:03 pm
Don’t get carried away. That kid is a total faggot. The XTC was a prize piece. The point is he needs to come back so he can be tormented to just above suicide level.
10.19.09 at 10:12 pm
wow. every one’s kind of in a cunty mood today. just relax, it’s going to be okay. just hang in there, they’ll post some good shit eventually. if they just had a party because they’re in the black then they can start paying people and when you can pay people you get better shit. that’s how it works.
as for my two cents: SC should have a party where everyone from the site and all the commentors can show up and talk shit to people in the flesh. maybe that would you know help people bond or something. i dunno. . .
10.19.09 at 10:49 pm
i remember in the glory days of street carnage when i could share my shit with this site and then i shared this site on my shit and everything was good. now every time i email a new smut cave i get no response and each visit to this site elicits less of a response from my brain. i used to want to dance in the golden fields of the internet with you, sbtvc, but i’ll search for greener pastures… or some other gay metaphor…
10.19.09 at 11:04 pm
Dude I don’t wanna do that to anyone. I like the guy. So dark. The pills have changed me.
10.19.09 at 11:15 pm
free yourself from the WORD. the word is tyranny. tyranny is word the. word the is tyranny. is the word tyranny?
seriously, do like a beat magician and take your enemies out with tape recorders, photos, and word salads. trust, not in the fund, but in the spectral voice of burroughs.
works every(fucking)time.
10.19.09 at 11:18 pm
What a female post.
10.19.09 at 11:23 pm
what i really liked was the posts about rampant drugs abuse… also sex, and being hungover, i think i’ll contribute! tomorrow’s my day off so i’ll whip up a little je ne sais quoi
10.20.09 at 12:12 am
Try filling Hefner’s niche w/ your own spin.
10.20.09 at 1:13 am
i masturbate to everyone’s commenting.
plus fat girls are where it’s at. you’re just too idiot to realize your dick goes UP and it will be mothered and pleased to all hell by an insecure fatty that knows it, and desperately wants you to be okay with it. you know what that makes for? THE BEEJ OF A LIFETIME IN A WAY YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.
10.20.09 at 1:53 am
the shitty bit is all the funny commenters have gone and there’s only the tedious ones with the false ennui and the personal anecdotes.
no one cares if you did heaps of blow below 14th st and your gf is cool with you looking at porn.
summarily: bring back the lolz.
10.20.09 at 2:10 am
they need jim goad back. they need more posts from taeil. and what made it cool was when gavin and BN and everyone else woudl respond to the comments and talk shit back to the commentators. now the best posters barely post anything, and when they do it sucks. its just every day full of “word on the street”, Arv, and some other idiots i dont even bother reading anymore.
maybe they are too old now? i dont think so…just more effort. we used to be a family… now you have all become too important for us and you left us to babysit the kids.
10.20.09 at 6:38 am
It’s even hard to troll these days because the subjects are so uncontroversial and bland.
10.20.09 at 8:42 am
I have hated this site for months.
I love you LB.
10.20.09 at 9:31 am
this is actually a pretty typical shareholders meeting circa 2009
10.20.09 at 10:13 am
Where’s Jim Goad? Lesley Arfin? Tracie Egan? I’m not going to try to hate on the newer contributors – every other commenter does a fine job at that.
However, none of them actually WRITE. Val posts pics/flashes her caca, Arv usually posts links to videos, Peter Madsen does interviews (of which I’m quite partial too, I might add). All of these things are fine. BUT I want ARTICLES in addition to this, something good to sink my teeth into. Why do you think Blognigger is the most popular contributor to this site? He WRITES and it’s STIMULATING; giving the commenters more to say than ‘this sucked’, ‘tits or GTFO’ or ‘this was actually pretty funny’.
10.20.09 at 10:18 am
You know, the comments that Blognigger and Gavin did anonymously were fucking funny. Maybe they should do that again. I thought it was hilarious when I would say something negative about a Blognigger post and then there would be a comment under my name saying that I suck cocks. That’s funny!
10.20.09 at 1:17 pm
“…BUT I want ARTICLES in addition to this, something good to sink my teeth into. …”
write it yourself and send it in then you fucking faggot, these guys will post ANYTHING
10.20.09 at 1:40 pm
If Gavin and Arv take any of this feedback into consideration, then this might be the most important post in the site’s history. Well done, self-loathing drunk lady.
10.20.09 at 2:33 pm
If we’re still complaining, I’d like to add in that the chick from that new ad for Florence + the Machine looks like a dead ringer for peg bundy.
I can’t tell if this a good thing or not.
10.20.09 at 5:28 pm
Peg Bundy is HOT, Al Bundy must be impotent or something.
Boy, did I have wood for her.
10.20.09 at 6:55 pm
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11.19.09 at 6:51 am
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11.21.09 at 5:49 am