FRED JOHNSON, 27, BEDFORD-STUYVESANT

Fred Johnson was standing on Fulton at Herkimer and people kept coming up to him. They would either pass and say hi or they would give him money. When they did this he would stick his hand in one pocket before shaking their hand with the other. He wouldn’t let me photograph him, but his friend—who was wearing his t-shirt inside-out and backwards and said he was waiting to get a Mohawk haircut–said I could photograph his sneakers. I really wanted to photograph Fred’s face because while he had gold fronts on his upper row of teeth, he wore nothing to disguise the nubs of enamel rotting behind his lower lip. Seriously, it looked like he had replaced his gums with his tonsils and his tonsils had come down with really bad strep. This guy was clearly the furthest thing from a phony, so I decided to ask his opinion (and those of four others) about the Catcher in the Rye lawsuit that no doubt has left 16-year-olds the land over wondering if reading the sequel would make them sell-outs.

Have you ever read Catcher in the Rye?

I never read that one. I’ve never heard of it.

It’s about a kid who gets kicked out of prep school and wanders around Manhattan for two days. He gets drunk and buys a prostitute but, because he’s still a kid, he chickens out on having sex. He’s just a kid, you know? Is this a book you’d want to read?

Yeah. How many interviews have you gotten today?

You’re my first one.

Today’s your lucky day.

What would you do if you were in J.D. Salinger’s position?

I’d sue the shit out of him. Make your own book, you know? Why you going to make money off my book?

What if the guy ripping off your characters was someone you knew from the neighborhood?

I’d probably get into it right there. I’d probably punch him in the face.

Where in his face would you hit him? Is there a more vulnerable spot you’d go for?

I’d hit him right in the mouth.

Hoping to break his teeth and make him bleed?

Yeah. And I’d beat him with a bat.

A wooden one or an aluminum one?

An aluminum one.

An old, rusty one, or a brand-new one?

A new one. I wouldn’t want to poison him with tetanus. But I’d break both his arms so he couldn’t write no more sequels.

Gulp. So what line in the sand would you draw when it comes to riffing versus copying?

As long as you switch it up a little bit. Switch the character, the names. Don’t try to imitate it too much.

What are some examples in your life where you had to consider things like creative property, theft, and stuff like that?

Well, a nigga trying to fuck the same girl I’m trying to fuck—that’s something. If that’s my girl and you’re trying to get some, that’s no good.

What’s the most recent dispute you’ve witnessed or went through regarding property and stuff like that?

It’s been a while. I don’t really get into that stuff. I stay to myself.

What’s a book you’ve read and liked?

I don’t read books. I buy my girl books and she reads novels about people in the streets.

Would you tell me why you were locked up?

No.

-PETER MADSEN

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