We are hearing buzz about these “new life-recording technologies” that are really just tiny cameras you wear all day. Question: Wouldn’t the product just become a feedback loop of you sorting through a bunch of footage of you sorting through a bunch of footage?

nelson

NELSON TORRES, 70, GREENPOINT, BROOKLYN

There is new technology that lets you record every moment of your life. Interested?

For an outstanding person like Barack Obama, who is globally important, he should record his life because he will become a member of history. For common people? No [chuckles].

So you’re saying only the elite should use this technology because only their existences deserve to be preserved?

We experience things that are not very interesting.

But your experiences are valuable to you, right?

I have a life that is more or less peaceful. For example, I don’t drink or smoke.

With those things we make life more interesting.

With those things I would be dead. A person should be conscientious about what he consumes. There are people who make their children of no more than 15 years into big balloons. They die quickly.

Will you remember this conversation tomorrow?

Yes. I don’t often speak to a Polack.

curry

CURRY BRUNSON, 74, CLINTON HILL, BROOKLYN

You wear a camera around your neck all day. Yes/no?

I would let the camera select for me.

How would the camera know what’s important?

That would be the amazing thing about it!

What things would the camera have picked up today?

Just different people walking in the streets. The way they dress. There’s always something extraordinary that passes by in New York.

What’s something you would like to forget each day?

That one is pretty rough. I saw a guy the other day on a bike that was a tall as a block of buildings.

Ick, tall bikes. What’s something in your life you would like to remember forever?

As a young man I played football and I was a boxer.

Those sports are great ways to both create and delete memories simultaneously. Like booze.

It depends on how and where you’re drinking.

Let’s say a guy’s day plays out like a Country song. What does he drink, and where?

Well, if he’s drinking to forget something, he could drink just about anywhere!

What’s the best liquid eraser?

A lot of beer. It alone has more alcohol than vodka or gin. It gets people higher, quicker!

Do you envy the goldfish for its five-second memory? It would be like being blackout all the time.

I don’t know too much about the goldfish. Last night I heard the panda bear have some sort of a memory with them, too.

They have a bad memory?

No, I think they have a pretty good memory.

rodney

RODNEY RAMIREZ, 62, SOUTH WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN

What part of your day today would you like to have recorded?

I have this technology. I’m a mechanic. I used to have a motorcycle. But you know, with one of those when it rains you get wet. I have two bicycles.

Do the air fresheners on your handlebars make the air smell better when you’re bike riding?

Yeah.

Tell me why people should back up their memory.

It’s a good idea. It’s better for you. Better technology always works. Long time ago I used to be bicycle delivery rider. On the East side.

Represent.

I was a cop. Six years.

Why didn’t you make it a career?

Being a cop is dangerous. When you’re new they put you in the Bronx, in the tough parts. You have to follow drug dealers. Some cops don’t even make it a year. They kill ‘em right away.

Cops are drug dealers.

Yeah. They’ll shoot you and nobody will know. They take the drugs from the dealers and use, sell them. There were gangs we knew and we would keep their guns.

Is being a drunkard a crime?

No, but sometimes when people get drunk they do crazy things.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done drunk?

I take a woman and force my way.

You forced your way on a woman?

Yeah, yeah. It was domestic, in house. It’s a felony.

That’s rape.

Yeah, rape.

And you’re talking about yourself.

Yeah.

That’s great.

-PETER MADSEN

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This entry was posted on 09.25.09 at 6:43 pm by Peter Madsen. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
22 Comments
  1. BZM Says:

    Polack!


  2. mr.meat Says:

    You should make it your mission to get every word on the street to admit to rape.

    Coming up next: Kirk Cameron Hates Nazis.


  3. Turd Town Says:

    These get better every time! Though I don’t condone raping. That’s bad. But, hey, I wasn’t there… I can’t judge the guy.


  4. bob Says:

    yeah i love this column. privileged white college boy goes around and makes fun of ethnic types and homeless people. so precious. i can’t wait until one of your subjects knocks your fucking teeth out, you dickless little wannabe smartass piece of shit.


  5. RJ Romero Says:

    How is he making fun of them? He’s asking the same questions he’d ask his buddy. It is retarded to have air freshners on your handlebars – or maybe it’s not. That’s why he asked. Maybe you all have a glorified view of New Yorkers and hate reality being shoved in your face. Sorry to burst your bubble.


  6. kat Says:

    He’s kind of making fun of them, but I can’t help but love the old guys he talks to. I really liked Adele from a day or two ago. This group is really good too.


  7. Clapback. Says:

    Yeah, kudos. Assuming everything is contextually unmanipulated it’s just an accurate cross section of crazies.


  8. hippies Says:

    okay, so there’s a lot of interesting stuff that you could be getting out of these individuals but you decide to ask fucking patronizing questions.


  9. Peter Madsen Says:

    Bob:

    You act like this is bumfights or something. PS. I graduated college years ago.


  10. Peter Madsen Says:

    Hippies: What do you consider interesting? Give me a list of questions to ask people and we’ll see what’s good.


  11. a4awesome Says:

    Holy shet! I completely forgot about bumfights! Noyce!


  12. Deadbeatmanchief Says:

    Good job Peter. Good tone, innocent enough but perhaps next time, video interviews?


  13. stinky Says:

    That last one was fucking hilarious/really bad.


  14. Hippies Says:

    Well, I really liked the part where the guy was talking about how he was a cop. Maybe less questions about drinking more questions about lyfe.


  15. Pussy Tastemaker Says:

    @Turd Town

    “But, hey, I wasn’t there… I can’t judge the guy.”

    When would that ever be right?


  16. Peter Madsen Says:

    Hippies, in wine comes truth.


  17. bob Says:

    maybe a little too aggro friday (gin) but still if you don’t see how this column makes fun of homeless people you’re not paying attention. not just this one, look back at the older ones. and rj romero, i live in los angeles so i’m far from naive about homeless people. i just wish one of them would give homeboy a surprise, just enough to make him wonder about whether he’s being patronizing or not.


  18. jwonder Says:

    bob’s right


  19. jwonder Says:

    bumfights lite


  20. Peter Madsen Says:

    Bob, for realsies, are you just on some West side/East side shit?


  21. Sal Says:

    What the hell is wrong with making fun of hobos?

    It makes our lives interesting and they get to tell their creative hobo stories.

    You think these guys a telling the truth about most of this shit?


  22. Zabs Says:

    The infinite loop of footage remark reminds me of Infinite Jest and the tape that would forever shut off a person that was being distributed by legless Canadian terrorists


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