Yesterday government officials admitted the FBI ignored warning signs that Major Nidal Malik Hasan–who allegedly killed 13 people at Fort Hood, Texas–might become a threat.

FRANK PINTO, 63, QUEENS VILLAGE, QUEENS

Do you think the FBI is getting too much flak? Should we consider all the times we don’t hear about how they didn’t fuck up?

No.

Why’s that?

I don’t know.

Oh. How about the attention paid to Al-Qaeda’s interest in—

I’m not Arabic.

I’m interviewing just anybody.

I’m Italian. Half Sicilian and half Neapolitan.

OK. I understand there was a time when an Italian-American would tell people he was French because men were afraid of being suspected as Mafiosi.

I’m bisexual.

Are… you trying to tell me something?

No. What do you think about gay marriage?

I don’t have an opinion.

I used to live in Hollywood. It was a while ago. I dated a man named Steve. We met at a bar-and-grill.

In which part did you meet?

The grill part. It’s where the dancing was. We ended up living together.

If he was going to prepare a nice dinner for you, what would he make?

Spaghetti and meatballs.

That seems like a steep cliff to climb.

He did alright. It was fine. Are you gay?

Frank. Are you and Steve still in touch?

No.

What’s your last name?

Pinto.

Like the beans. You’re “Frank and beans.”

Yeah.

You’ve heard that one before, huh?

Yeah.

-PETER MADSEN

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This entry was posted on 11.10.09 at 7:43 pm by Peter Madsen. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
12 Comments
  1. Maxipad Says:

    Nuts to butts only for poor old Frankie, Though we all know what happened to Frankie????
    HE WENT TO HOLLYWOOD!!!! Thats all I got…Bye


  2. Barak O' Taco Says:

    fuuucking fuuuny


  3. milky Says:

    haha, this was cute.


  4. Taeil Says:

    I found situational humor first hearing about the Ft. Hood shooting. C’mon, a psychiatrist goes postal and starts shooting guys he’s supposed to be helping?

    But then I found out the dude was Muslim. He not only killed 13, but his last victim was irony.


  5. Sal Says:

    That dude wants to fuck you in the ass. Look into his eyes. That’s pure passion for young dudes.


  6. Anonymous Says:

    I hate the way, when someone kills a load of people, no-one actually blames… the person who did all the killing! Cho Seung-hui, the sniper family, this Major Mustafa – it was their choice at the end of the day to start shootin’.


  7. ew Says:

    i’ve never been to a bar-n -grill that was actually physically divided. But then i guess everything is different for bisexuals.


  8. Beefy McManstick Says:

    How does it feel to have your interview hijacked by a bisexual? (It ended up being way better that way, though.)


  9. thebestthinggoingwoooo Says:

    yesssss!!! i like the way you kept your journalistic objectivity when he asked about your sexual preference


  10. Spud Gun Says:

    Ha. This is pretty funny. Can you please try this out in London?


  11. skull front Says:

    explains it all. we are safe. continue on as normal.


  12. miss universe Says:

    this is the best part of this whole website


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STREET CARNAGE RADIO 07.12.11
ZEBRA KATZ MIXTAPE: CHAMPAGNE

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