New York City braces itself for Mischief Night. What are you doing to ward off would-be teepee’rs and ding-dong ditchers?

GORDON, BROAD CHANNEL, QUEENS

Doorknobs smeared in Vaseline, eggs splattered across plastic siding–what’s the worst you’ve gotten it on Mischief Night?

The only kids who ever did that stuff have grown up and moved out.

Does your neighborhood have its own “Angels’ Night” look-out group?

You mean to patrol the area? Why would we need one of those? We take our grandkids out for trick or treating but we’ll have them back home not long after dark.

Are you concerned about the Bloods initiations? Allegedly, the quota of women the recruits have to slash is well past 100.

Around here we don’t have to worry about that.

May I take your picture?

With all due respect, absolutely not. Thank you.

SUE, BROAD CHANNEL, QUEENS

Are you going to spend the night on your porch to make sure you don’t get toilet papered?

Naw.

When people with bikes go into stores here, they don’t lock them up. They just lean them against the wall and go inside.

Yeah? Well, they wouldn’t get far with somebody’s bike before someone recognized it. Kids around here know better than that. What you should do is come back here Sunday and ask us if anything happened. That would be reporting.

Do you think–

–I’m sorry [drops cigarette butt into soda bottle] but I have to go back inside now. I’m getting cold.

May I take your picture?

I don’t think so.

ANONYMOUS MAN, BROAD CHANNEL, QUEENS

Can I help you?

Oh, hello. Are you worried about your home getting egged tonight?

Tonight? Halloween’s tomorrow. I’m not a home-owner.

It is, but tonight is Mischief Night–some call it Devil’s Night–and some teenagers go around performing pranks. Sometimes  it reaches the level of vandalism.

I don’t think anyone would want to do that.

Before I go any further can I take your photo?

No, I’m sorry.

Is… it because of my Phillies hat?

As a matter of fact it actually is.

-PETER MADSEN

No related posts.