New York governor David Patterson said he will tighten state agencies’ purse strings by $500M to offset a mounting, nearly $3B mid-year budget deficit.

B. FRED, 64, INWOOD, NEW YORK

What do you think about New York State’s financial footing?

Any idiot knows it’s really poor. It’s the recession. I’d rather be here than Calcutta.

What cuts should we make?

Soak the rich.

“Eat the Rich” by Aerosmith?

I can’t hear you.

Where would you cut state spending?

I don’t want to take anything from the people who need it the most: the poor. Soak the rich. Increase tax revenues. Of course then the rich will go to a different state. It’s a big problem. I’m an artist not a financier.

What art do you make?

I draw pictures of everyday people. Here’s a drawing of a girl sitting in the park. Only her shirt was purple-striped so I took liberties and ran stripes down to her feet.

What genre is this?

It’s my style. It’s almost art brut—I mean, it’s not totally art brut because I’m not crazy. I draw what I see and I put my own brand on it. I just received a settlement from a lady drunk-driver who hit me, so I’ve been trying to wear nicer clothes. I usually look more like a street person, even though I’m far from homeless. My ex-wife is taking me to Florence soon. A friend of mine, who’s black, gave me this shirt. It’s pretty American tourist-y. My settlement? $25,000 is not a bad guess.

That’s a lot of sandwiches.

I usually never buy a sandwich like this but I forgot to put my keys on top of the fridge because that’s the tip-off. These are the keys talking to me: “Yeah, you can’t use me until you get the sandwich out of the fridge.”

Do your keys often talk to you?

You’re kidding me, right? I’m not a nutcase. I’m just trying to sound interesting for the tape.

It’s working.

I’m on a natural high! I’m off my meds! I’m border-line bi-polar but I’m not the least bit delusional. Oh, I haven’t slept in 12 days! Give me your address I’ll send you some of my drawings.

OK.

MONSTER DAVE, 55, SOHO, NEW YORK

How would you describe New York’s financial situation?

I would say the sales tax is too high.

What is it, 8.5%?

It’s not eight-point-anything—in New York City it’s eight and five-eighths. OK? It’s raised in quarters and halves it’s not raised by points. I think the governor sees featherbedding.

Which agencies would you spare from budget tightening?

Not colleges. I don’t much believe in them. Every mother wants her son to go because she doesn’t want him to be harmed by work. Quit having children. Oh, “get green”? Get real! Global warming is overpopulation. Why are all the Mexicans in the kitchens? You can’t get a job in one because they’ll kill you. I know because my nephew works in that industry.

Why don’t we watch our Northern border?

Because all the poor people are below our Southern border.

Why don’t they just go around?

That’s a lot more expensive. Chinese come in from Canada. They’re the worst because they hate everybody. They don’t tell the truth.

Is your landlord Chinese?

I don’t have a landlord. I worked 26 years as a piano-tuner but I crushed some discs in my back. I know scales few know. I could be of use to somebody but I’m preoccupied with some pain in my feet and in my spine. I’d like to work for a millionaire because I’ve got some ideas.

What other skills do you have?

I have psychological skills. I know how to scope people out and get things out of them.

You could be a reporter.

I wouldn’t want to be that. People come up to me on the street and ask me to give them blessings. They sense I’m accessible.

Does New York City make a good return on the state taxes it pays?

What? There’s nothing set in any state or federal government that there’s an equal-return for anyone. I think airhead reporters are a big problem.

I think the state should cut Journalism schools.

I think they should cut kids.

KATHRYNE KATES, 19, NOHO, NEW YORK

What’s your impression of New York State’s financial state?

Um, I just moved here from Jacksonville, Florida.

That’s the South.

Definitely. It’s nothing like Miami. New York is rich, because that’s the impression. They definitely used their money because they’ve been doing construction here on Washington Square Park. That’s a good thing.

If police are more spend-thrifty, will that compromise our safety?

I guess to a certain extent that’s worrisome, but it’s more a question of how would they have spent that 11%.

What do cops spend money on?

I guess equipment. Precincts. I don’t know.

Are you in college?

I’m an NYU film student.

-PETER MADSEN

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