STREET BONER 261
All you have to do to look great this summer is keep it simple, tone down the accessories, lose the make-up, and be the most beautiful woman anybody’s ever seen, ever.
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July 3, 2009 12:00 pm
This person is going to chew you up and puke you out but you’re not a man until you’ve: had your heart broken, broken a heart, had the shit beaten out of you, and beaten the shit out of someone, so you might as well get this first part over with.
July 3, 2009 4:31 am
Are the words “J.A.P.s in July” in any Broadway songs about how great New York is? They should be.
06.27.08 at 1:18 pm
OH
06.27.08 at 1:19 pm
Dude, that girl is a fox.
06.27.08 at 1:22 pm
Wow, she really is gorgeous. jealous!
06.27.08 at 1:24 pm
MY
06.27.08 at 1:24 pm
SHE LOOKS LIKE VANESSA MARCEL,AND SHES GOTTA SCRAPED UP KNEE, DONT WORRY, COME HERE AND ILL KISS IT FOR YOU.
06.27.08 at 1:25 pm
GOD
06.27.08 at 1:49 pm
Wow. I’d marry her tomorrow.
06.27.08 at 2:00 pm
im boned up
06.27.08 at 2:46 pm
fap fap fap fap
06.27.08 at 2:53 pm
sure she’s as excited as her floor scrubbing shirt and shorts. she looks like every beeze walking out of urban outfitters. boringzzzzz…
06.27.08 at 3:29 pm
quit bytin’ my style tampon. your shit is weak and lazy.
fap fap fap fap fap
06.27.08 at 3:58 pm
She could be about four to six inches taller.
06.27.08 at 3:59 pm
This would be the most accurate streetboner of all time if she wasn’t so…I don’t know…fugly? You know a man has bad taste when he can’t discriminate between women who are hot for life and women who are fuckable for a microsecond. Just marry her and you’ll see. By the time she hits thirty you’ll be going: “Oh God, she bought even more baklava to stuff down her throat, and now she’s giving it to our annoying ass kids. And the pilates machine? I guess I’ll have to dust it again. And here comes her illiterate meathead brother with the gold chain nestled in his chest hair. But damn if that new chick at work isn’t giving me a boner that won’t quit. Oh well, I can always fantasize.”
06.27.08 at 4:17 pm
bite my tampon eating vagina, crampon
06.27.08 at 4:20 pm
hot damn. thats perfection
06.27.08 at 4:42 pm
make picture bigger
06.27.08 at 5:12 pm
three 10s in a row, come on. if I wanna look at hot girls I’ll just look at some porn. show me fat gross people wearing weird shit. that’s what I come to this website for.
06.27.08 at 5:30 pm
this is a vice “do” caption from like 2 years ago
06.27.08 at 5:31 pm
srsly. she’s just a fucking urban outfitters clone. She probably doesn’t have an interesting thought in that tiny tiny brain of hers. Let’s see some innovation! BORED.
06.27.08 at 5:33 pm
you look so cute
my little pumpkin!
and my hard on is so fucking big right now,
hahahahha
06.27.08 at 5:42 pm
The realest shit I’ve ever read on this blog.
06.27.08 at 6:20 pm
Your penis has a boner aversion to Urban Outfitters? Well, mine doesn’t. So, while you’re talking about yourself as you pompously parade about a gentrified neighborhood in a pair of shorts previously owned by an autistic 15 year old that had a fondness for milk of magnesia, I’ll be chasing a dull bitch with daddy’s credit card.
06.27.08 at 8:17 pm
yeah, I really don’t see the arguement here? Urban Outfitters makes girls hot - good on them.
06.27.08 at 8:21 pm
Wow, a swarthy girl with a cute face. Those are a definite rarity, right? In ten years she’ll transform into a shuffling hag overnight, then you’ll be sorry.
06.27.08 at 10:02 pm
Nice, but this doesn’t make up for the picture of the naked dude in the left side of the page.
06.27.08 at 11:33 pm
so like… i know i’m about to get hit with it, but… a “shuffling hag”? I know what you mean, but why don’t you say that shit about the weird dudes in this column? like, dick cheney is a total man hag. we need a good word for man hags. shit, i’ve got to start a dos and don’ts for girls.
06.28.08 at 10:19 am
i got everything there but the woman part
06.28.08 at 11:40 am
UH, HULLOH!?
I’m waay into the girl in the blue’s outfit.
06.28.08 at 1:35 pm
She’s mushy. Needs to tone up a bit. Give her 10 years, she’ll be massive.
and since when were full body leotards, baggy tank tops and feathers considered style? Oh that’s right… 20 fucking years ago! Let’s move on. Asimov baby. Asimov…
06.28.08 at 2:03 pm
how you gonna hate on a beautiful woman by bringing her daddy and urban outfitters into the situation.
stay hate.
06.28.08 at 3:44 pm
please…are you blind?or you just like the ugly?look at those things she put on for shoes…not to mantion her bag,and feather,her shirt,and that black THING underneath her shirt…
Vane$$a’s got it right,except shes not fuckable even for a microsecond!
06.28.08 at 5:08 pm
she’s actually a really cool girl and competent musician.
06.28.08 at 6:31 pm
this caption is a bit of a bite of an old vice one
“here’s a good new look for this season: be the most attractive woman in the world”
not knocking you for self-plaige, but i liked the wording of the first one more
06.28.08 at 6:41 pm
I can’t believe someone this incredibly good looking could be so divisive. This girl could stop the Israeli-Palestine conflict with her presence. Her face all but says “I bring you peace and horny.”
06.30.08 at 12:03 am
its ripping off vice bc this is the site for all the people not cool enough to contribute for vice.
06.30.08 at 1:29 am
I think the author is getting busted for ripping off himself for writing a similar caption in the VICE of yore, when he was at the helm. So, Applejack you are dense and misinformed. Go read some “cool” stuff in Vice and stay off this site then.
06.30.08 at 1:57 am
This is why all fact-checkers, word-mincers, and unhired continuity mavens need to smoke a joint for once in their lives. What a surprise that the same person said a similar thing under similar circumstances. I’m guessing that he forgot.
06.30.08 at 2:01 am
But what about that “I bring you peace and horny” comment eh? I thought that was spot on brilliance! Gavin, when are you gonna bring back the comment awards?
OK, OK, I wrote the “peace and horny” thing. Sigh.
06.30.08 at 11:53 am
i would tap my tip on her nose for sure
06.30.08 at 12:26 pm
damn my booty is so hot, i like to get down and durty and FUCKK titties and dumprings
06.30.08 at 4:45 pm
DeAnna Pappas-esque.
06.30.08 at 5:15 pm
I’m calling BULLSHIT!
This is pretty much a re-worked ‘DO’ Gavin wrote for Vice some time ago. There’s a hot girl (hotter than this one), and the caption reads (sic): “Here’s a hot tip for the summer: be the most beautiful girl in the world.” I believe it was two years ago. I would find it and link right now if I didn’t have my own deadlines to procrastinate from!
p.s. oh yea: bullshit, gavin; you got called out from here in beautiful WYOMING!
06.30.08 at 5:48 pm
“No” to the shoes. But more importantly, where are her tits? I bet she doesn’t even have an ass. Way to want to fuck 14-year-olds dressing like their older sisters, Gavin.
06.30.08 at 6:52 pm
[...] lose the make-up, and be the most beautiful woman anybody’s ever seen, ever.” I agree. (Street Carnage) Tags: Mixed Bag!, Photography, Style, Trends Share Mixed [...]
07.01.08 at 12:16 am
Here’s the link to the first time Gavin used this caption:
[url]http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=399[/url]
07.01.08 at 6:48 am
If you touch her you’ll go to prision for ten yearS and even when you got out she still wouldn’t be old enough!
07.01.08 at 12:13 pm
she looks lyk a slut.
07.02.08 at 8:46 am
hi
07.02.08 at 8:47 am
aw shit.
07.03.08 at 2:59 am
i got a stiffy
07.12.08 at 2:43 pm
she’s cute
07.13.08 at 1:22 pm
women that can make a man forget his name are like dominos, everywhere. there is maybe one Girl of summer who can make me forget I’m lame.
10.21.08 at 12:37 am
boing
10.28.08 at 9:28 pm
oh my satan