There is no creature who is more mysterious and alluring than the “Normal Girl.” We know so little about them and the little we do know has never been confirmed.
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This entry was posted on 08.14.09 at 12:00 pm by Gavin McInnes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
that doesn’t even look like something you could have sex with. i count her instead of sheep when I’m too yakked out to sleep but to an accountant she’s wet dream material.
State University… BS in Marketing… Sales Rep…. Delta Gamma Sorority sister…shops at Kohl’s .. has a boyfriend, Tim who played Divison II college football… secretly goes into restrooms in the mall and defecates on the floor because it is “a rush and a stress reliever” …
I don’t know about everywhere else, but ALL of the midwest is crawling with them. I’m sure there is no shortage on the coasts, either.
Weddings, Engagement Rings, Showers, Babies/Breeding, Jennifer Aniston movies, The Sorority, Money, Stupid rivalries, Dane Cook is funny, The Gap/Banana Republic is high style, Carrie Underwood/David Cook (or any bland, annoying DoucheComposite from American Idol will do), Juicy Couture, UGGs, Jogging, Michael Phelps, Pottery Barn, CollegeWear, Stupid Trendy Cocktails, Chain Restaurants, Chain anything… (do I really need to go on?) Translation: THERE IS NO MYSTERY.
…Positivity in General. They can’t do the Neg side, like ever. This is why they usually look at us with a blank stare if we indulge in our favorite habits of sarcasm, snark, irony, etc. They won’t get any of it. Don’t even bother. A website like this one would confuse them.
9/10ths of them are as shallow as a bottle cap. Every now and then you meet one that’s a freak in disguise, or a little crazy. So what.
If you are surrounded by them, every day, your brain will eventually try to fool your boner into thinking that he’s interested. (Apparently, there is also some sort of phenomenon whereby lack of exposure to Normatives leads Brain to tell Boner that this is interesting, exotic.) Likewise, if one of them is around/in close contact with/forced to hang out with one of us for any extended period of time, their mind might in certain circumstances fool their vagina into thinking that she’d let you bone it. Regardless of the outcome (trust me, one of you will probably come to your senses sooner or later), it’s an illusion and a total waste of time and effort in the end. Translation: THE ALLURE IS AN ILLUSION… MOST LIKELY NOT EVEN CLOSE TO MUTUAL.
Are you still wondering why you can’t fuck one? Answer: you’re not a dumb dude-brah.
Oh, and they probably shave the triangle bald, too. Again… Boring.
One of these recently fondled my moustache in passing outside of a bar. She then agreed to let me drink beer out of her heels in exchange. They can’t be all bad.
my hometown is crawling with them. they also all kind of look the same; small noses, close-set eyes, basically unremarkable features. the only thing attractive about them is their youth.
it’s like a micheal madsen/gloria estefan prom date gone…wrong? he’s all, am i really going to fuck this bitch? and she’s thinking, i’m on the rag. i’m gonna bleed all over your chevy.
And then she moved from Indiana to Williamsburg, got some obscure band tattoos, picked up some hipster togs, started drinking Colt 45, hooked up with a guy from Oregon who did the same thing two years ago, and exactly one week after this post, on August 21, 2009 at 12:00 p.m. EST, she re-appeared in this feature as a 10-kitty Streetboner, with all the comment trolls singing her praises.
and just so you know, girls can’t stand these kind of girls as friends either. They are mysterious in their banality, though. I feel like I”m missing something, how can someone be so mediocre? It must be an act…?
i know deeply psychotic and mildly insane girls who live very ‘normal’ lifestyles, because it’s the only way for them to stay in ballance and away from chaos and severe insanity
Can be subverted and destroyed through extreme sexual maneuvres, but once she recovers, she might try and have you incarcerated. If you get inside her apartment, steal as much shit as you can without getting caught.
I am a fun-loving person who has a successful career and great friends, and I’m looking for someone with whom I can have great chemistry with and experience so much that life has to offer. I’m very active and health-conscious, so in my free time I like to work out at the gym, go out dancing, and play sports such as tennis, volleyball, or golf. I love to travel and try to get away to a nice, sunny destination at least once a year. I also have a quiet side to me that sometimes likes to just chill and watch tv or enjoy a nice dinner and a glass of wine with friends.
What a bunch pf pretentious wannabes. If you had much experience with women at all, you would know that it is virtually impossible to tell what you are going to get based on appearance alone. Furthermore, are you only interested in girls who are exactly like you, but with with nicer hair and eyelashes?
Not to come off as a raging sexist, but the fact is when you peel off whatever trendy duds, tats, etc., taste in music and even intellect, a female is still a female and that hipster bitch today will be hounding you to give her a baby before she’s 35. I’ll take a so-called “normal” girl who knows she doesn’t want kids and can communicate intelligently (no drama) over some “cool” girl who happens to share my taste in music. By the time they turn 40, they’re all pretty much the same. But, yeah, a lot of those “normal” girls are about as dull as they look……
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there’s nothing to know
08.14.09 at 12:17 pm
that doesn’t even look like something you could have sex with. i count her instead of sheep when I’m too yakked out to sleep but to an accountant she’s wet dream material.
08.14.09 at 12:19 pm
We know they love Obama. That’s about it.
08.14.09 at 12:21 pm
they know how to fuck. thats about it.
08.14.09 at 12:23 pm
State University… BS in Marketing… Sales Rep…. Delta Gamma Sorority sister…shops at Kohl’s .. has a boyfriend, Tim who played Divison II college football… secretly goes into restrooms in the mall and defecates on the floor because it is “a rush and a stress reliever” …
08.14.09 at 12:29 pm
I’m totally banging a banging “Normal Girl” right now. She does not know how to fuck. There, I said it.
08.14.09 at 12:35 pm
You should come to Chicago. The streets are crawling with them here.
08.14.09 at 12:39 pm
They kiss too much and make sex more of a performance than necessary.
08.14.09 at 1:52 pm
Rape was invented to try and figure them out.
08.14.09 at 2:46 pm
@Brap!: I’m intrigued. What does that mean? Does she not know where it goes in or something? Explain.
08.14.09 at 2:50 pm
Too boring to fuck.
08.14.09 at 3:02 pm
She might just be in disguise! Like, a bridesmaid or something. Those D’orsays, though…
08.14.09 at 3:33 pm
You haven’t lived until you’ve fucked a Republican woman in the ass.
08.14.09 at 4:23 pm
you haven’t lived until you’ve fucked a Republican man in the ass.
08.14.09 at 4:38 pm
I don’t know about everywhere else, but ALL of the midwest is crawling with them. I’m sure there is no shortage on the coasts, either.
Weddings, Engagement Rings, Showers, Babies/Breeding, Jennifer Aniston movies, The Sorority, Money, Stupid rivalries, Dane Cook is funny, The Gap/Banana Republic is high style, Carrie Underwood/David Cook (or any bland, annoying DoucheComposite from American Idol will do), Juicy Couture, UGGs, Jogging, Michael Phelps, Pottery Barn, CollegeWear, Stupid Trendy Cocktails, Chain Restaurants, Chain anything… (do I really need to go on?) Translation: THERE IS NO MYSTERY.
…Positivity in General. They can’t do the Neg side, like ever. This is why they usually look at us with a blank stare if we indulge in our favorite habits of sarcasm, snark, irony, etc. They won’t get any of it. Don’t even bother. A website like this one would confuse them.
9/10ths of them are as shallow as a bottle cap. Every now and then you meet one that’s a freak in disguise, or a little crazy. So what.
If you are surrounded by them, every day, your brain will eventually try to fool your boner into thinking that he’s interested. (Apparently, there is also some sort of phenomenon whereby lack of exposure to Normatives leads Brain to tell Boner that this is interesting, exotic.) Likewise, if one of them is around/in close contact with/forced to hang out with one of us for any extended period of time, their mind might in certain circumstances fool their vagina into thinking that she’d let you bone it. Regardless of the outcome (trust me, one of you will probably come to your senses sooner or later), it’s an illusion and a total waste of time and effort in the end. Translation: THE ALLURE IS AN ILLUSION… MOST LIKELY NOT EVEN CLOSE TO MUTUAL.
Are you still wondering why you can’t fuck one? Answer: you’re not a dumb dude-brah.
Oh, and they probably shave the triangle bald, too. Again… Boring.
08.14.09 at 6:19 pm
How do you cope with women who aren’t into obscure band tattoos and Colt 45? How?
08.14.09 at 6:20 pm
One of these recently fondled my moustache in passing outside of a bar. She then agreed to let me drink beer out of her heels in exchange. They can’t be all bad.
08.14.09 at 6:27 pm
my hometown is crawling with them. they also all kind of look the same; small noses, close-set eyes, basically unremarkable features. the only thing attractive about them is their youth.
08.15.09 at 3:19 pm
Uncle Wah Wah – i think i love you.
08.15.09 at 5:56 pm
Uncle Wah Wah – i think i love you.
08.15.09 at 5:56 pm
it’s like a micheal madsen/gloria estefan prom date gone…wrong? he’s all, am i really going to fuck this bitch? and she’s thinking, i’m on the rag. i’m gonna bleed all over your chevy.
my two cents
08.15.09 at 8:48 pm
And then she moved from Indiana to Williamsburg, got some obscure band tattoos, picked up some hipster togs, started drinking Colt 45, hooked up with a guy from Oregon who did the same thing two years ago, and exactly one week after this post, on August 21, 2009 at 12:00 p.m. EST, she re-appeared in this feature as a 10-kitty Streetboner, with all the comment trolls singing her praises.
08.15.09 at 9:00 pm
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08.16.09 at 12:51 am
and just so you know, girls can’t stand these kind of girls as friends either. They are mysterious in their banality, though. I feel like I”m missing something, how can someone be so mediocre? It must be an act…?
08.16.09 at 12:10 pm
i know deeply psychotic and mildly insane girls who live very ‘normal’ lifestyles, because it’s the only way for them to stay in ballance and away from chaos and severe insanity
08.16.09 at 12:51 pm
tell yourself whatever you need to, but they are all fucking normal.
08.16.09 at 3:26 pm
They have a rewarding career. They like music, travel, good wine, and art.
08.16.09 at 4:42 pm
Shit, I like music, travel, wine and art too? Am I a normy?
08.16.09 at 5:13 pm
They work in insurance. They like Bud Light, McDonald’s, Dane Cook, and television.
08.16.09 at 5:30 pm
Can be subverted and destroyed through extreme sexual maneuvres, but once she recovers, she might try and have you incarcerated. If you get inside her apartment, steal as much shit as you can without getting caught.
08.16.09 at 9:08 pm
I am a fun-loving person who has a successful career and great friends, and I’m looking for someone with whom I can have great chemistry with and experience so much that life has to offer. I’m very active and health-conscious, so in my free time I like to work out at the gym, go out dancing, and play sports such as tennis, volleyball, or golf. I love to travel and try to get away to a nice, sunny destination at least once a year. I also have a quiet side to me that sometimes likes to just chill and watch tv or enjoy a nice dinner and a glass of wine with friends.
08.16.09 at 9:49 pm
beware the normies. yes, quite a few attempt this ‘normal’ look b/c they are actually super psycho.
08.16.09 at 10:48 pm
the comment before my last one is gonna be great for my craig’s ad
08.16.09 at 10:49 pm
What a bunch pf pretentious wannabes. If you had much experience with women at all, you would know that it is virtually impossible to tell what you are going to get based on appearance alone. Furthermore, are you only interested in girls who are exactly like you, but with with nicer hair and eyelashes?
08.17.09 at 11:14 am
Sound the closing bell: a lady’s comment (above) won this round.
08.17.09 at 11:17 am
Not to come off as a raging sexist, but the fact is when you peel off whatever trendy duds, tats, etc., taste in music and even intellect, a female is still a female and that hipster bitch today will be hounding you to give her a baby before she’s 35. I’ll take a so-called “normal” girl who knows she doesn’t want kids and can communicate intelligently (no drama) over some “cool” girl who happens to share my taste in music. By the time they turn 40, they’re all pretty much the same. But, yeah, a lot of those “normal” girls are about as dull as they look……
08.17.09 at 1:02 pm
Uncle wah wah- fuck you, and your sorority bashing you ignorant slob
Sincerely,
Delta Gamma National Pan Hellenic Sorority
Est.1873
08.17.09 at 11:18 pm
fix your link
08.18.09 at 5:46 pm