Jesus christ, I’m so glad your letter is over. All tryin to be funny and shit, ya Chapel Hill UNC fratboy – just ask me the damn question! I get email from all over the world, and I swear to christ your prose is just as aggravating as the worst Polish or South American asstripe I’ve had to endure from anywhere. Fuck it: you’re literally worse than the DARK Mexicans, who are worse than Carlos Mencia, and so by the transitive property you are a big fat cunt.

Wow! Look at the unnecessary anger you’ve evoked; I wonder what that’s about? It’s surely not because I’m offended – as you know, I hardly even identify with black people at all – only enough to use my barely-qualifying Halle Barre skin tone as an excuse to create an inflammatory blog name to attract attention and feed my psychotic ego disorder.

So don’t take it personally, Streetcarnage Named Dezenuts. In fact, I apologize. Sorry; Sorry for that outburst.

Your question is almost fantastic, and will be once it’s edited thusly: You don’t really want to ask “If Obama wins, will The Blacks™ shut the fuck up,” because I think we all know the answer to that question: “No.”

You see, The Blacks™ (e.g. Rev. Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and some privileged douchey Columbia University African American Studies TA preaching to a bunch of apologetic white freshmen chicks sitting native-american-style in his dorm room smoking hash and listening to him talk about Modes of Racial Alienation in the Workplace he’s never entered while they stare at his package and rub their legs together like crickets) will never shut the fuck up. Ever ever ever, as you say, Carlos.

The real question you want to ask is “If Obama wins, Do The Blacks™ have to shut the fuck up.” Much better question cause it’s got a much better answer – YES THEY DO.

Right? They’ll have to shut the fuck up then, yaknow? Totally will have to, right? NO, not fuckin right! See – I just wanted to get to you say that shit.

Listen, don’t get upset, it’s a trick question: The answer is that The Blacks™ should have shut the fuck up quite some time ago: NOT exactly when the first wealthy Black Proto-Diddy entrepreneur slinked out of a Model T, turned to the shineboy valet and said boy u betta mind this hat and have it steamed bytime I get back outta he-ah….but absolutely unequivocally by the time the Huxtables came into power.

The Huxtables were more than equal – the Angel Heart daughter was white for chrissakes – they lived in Brooklyn Heights, could vote, buy the painting at the auction that time, drink from water fountains and shit; done deal pal – done deal.

And indeed, all normal lowercase b blacks – at least anyone I would consider hanging out with – all DID shut the fuck up about race a looong time ago. Q-Tip said it in 1989 for fuckssake: “Afro-centric living is a big shrug…”

Reality check for White America: When I’m with my black friends (both of ‘em) we sit around talking about pussy and Sarah Silverman and her pussy and The Onion and this bitch and how much the new Simpsons sucks and then sometimes my retarded gay friend talks about World of Warcraft and his character Clovis the ColonKeeper Paladin Level 12.

What, you think my peoples sit around talking about Plessy v. Furguson? You think I give a shit about Rosa Parks, may she rest in peace? (she dead?) Hey Jewish guy: how do you feel about Oskar Schindler? Who gives a shit, right? But-but-but; the nigga saved all these jews from the holocaust! Well, yeah, he hooked you up indirectly but you don’t sit around getting high and talking about his factory-owning nazi ass, right? How is that shit gonna get the General Tso’s chicken to my door faster? Thanks, but yaknow? You feel me?

So the bottom line is – The Blacks™ will never stop obsessing about Race like a bunch of jerkoffs. Ignore ‘em. And regular lowercase b black people have all gotten over it by now – and anyone who hasn’t will still find a reason to be upset even after Obama is president.

Nigga has a white gram-ma?! Fuck tha-shit! Gim ME a white gram-ma I’ll go to harvard too NIGGA. punk ass nigga. a yo lemme hit that shit over here philly ain’t a microphone kid sss ssss ssssss sssss!

Fuck it, ignore ‘em. You don’t see those fools anyway, do you? I don’t, so how the fuck do YOU see ‘em? Get ‘em outta your head – why do you care what they think?

Now Dr. Mencia, let me redirect your question a bit more if that’s ok – let me advise you that if you waste your time speculating what The Blacks™ or the blacks are going to do, you’re going to miss the real bonus benefit of an Obama victory – It’s all about getting a whooooole ‘nother group of people to shut the fuck up….the FAGGOTS™ !

If Obama wins, Politically Correct Faggots™, WILL, for the first time ever, HAVE to shut the fuck up; and you know what – some of them might obey!!

Proof by induction:

PCFags™ have been walking around all guilty and apologetic and scared and insecure since about 1987. All their judgmental fake-ass uptight accusatory bullshit is fueled entirely by a single deepdown fantasy which is their WORST nightmare and it goes as follows:

They’re riding on the A train and are suddenly and inexplicably called out by a multitude of Blacks™. The Blacks™ start pointing at them and grabbing them by the shirt collar and then their leader is all “THIS WHITE GUY DOESN’T LIKE THE WAY WE SMELL WHEN WE SWEAT. HE THINKS BLACK PEOPLE HAVE A PARTICULAR NEGRO ODOR WHEN WE SWEAT. FUCKIN GET HIM AND SWARM AND BEAT HIM AND FUCKIN SHAME HIS WHITE ASS! THEN GET HIS CAR KEYS TOO RACIST WHITE BITCH!”

So PC Fags™ live their whole lives in fear of this experience – they are afraid of getting FOUND OUT as racists. See, in real life, everyone is a “racist,” and so normal people just say, ah, big deal, in the end I wish everyone the same middle-finger, and my particular racisms rarely need to come up. But see, that standard-issue innate “racism” scares the fuck out of a PC Fag™ – they see it within themselves and freak the fuck out! So as a defense, they’re all forced to go through life on the PC attack tip! They gotta point out shit that is OFFENSIVE, accuse people of racism and sexism and this and that to divert everyone’s attention away from their own secret niggerfear. Everyone has racism inside them, but instead of coming clean they point their fingers, and in doing so for 20 years they’ve ruined American fun and comedy with a witchhunt that would make Sen Joespeh McCarthy himself shave his nuts in shame.

Now here’s why they might Shut The Fuck Up if Obama wins:

Understand their mentality: In their eyes, Obama-as-president levels the playing field. They no longer have to fear the trainswarm fantasy, because even if it actually happened, they could then just shout “LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OFF ME! WE ALL PROVED TO YOU PEOPLE WE WEREN’T RACIST. LOOK AT THE PRESIDENT! I DON’T LIKE THE WAY *ANYONE’S* SWEAT SMELLS!!! LET ME FUCKIN–”

Let him go, let him go. He’s right goddamnit… they proved it.

So the PCFags™ percieve Obama’s victory as giving them this get-out-of-jail-free card to use in case of trainswarm; Therefore, it will cause their fear of this nightmare to abate. Finally, without this fear motivating their core behavior like a psychotic Kernal Kurtz, they will be able to come off the offensive, drop the whole witchhunt charade, and thus we will slowly see the muscle behind American Political Correctness start to atrophy.

In closing, let me confess to you that as a half-a-fag, I’ve got a little more skin in this game than you might suspect:

I’ll admit…I just don’t think a black man can win the presidency in this country. If he does, it’s too foundation-shattering for me to comprehend – it would mean there is NO X-FILES SMOKING MAN behind the curtain – cause that nigga would NEVER let some shit like this happen.

If Obama gets elected, for me it will be like finding out definitively that Oswald shot Kennedy, Bush believed there were weapons of mass destruction, the US really did land on the moon, and Roswell New Mexico is just a military testing facility in a desert shithole – all in one cockgulp.

It would completely fuck-up the conspiracy theorist inside me, but more to the point, it would assassinate my inner-faggot. I don’t believe it can happen, but I think it will. We’ll see.

And as for The REAL PCFags™ : the hippies, the Park Slope Co-op cunts, the Jezbians – I really believe they’ll stop sucking Black / Gay / Brazilian people’s dicks quite so hard. In their eyes, voting for Obama is the ultimate and ideal apology to Minorities™ – public, visible, easy, and cool.

Hope this helps, Mencia, ya smug little faggot-ass date-rapist. Shit, there goes that anger again, no-nigger. My apologies – now where do I click to shut up the Gen-Y cunt-ass Misfits-listening niggerloving hipsters?