TV CARNAGE ARCHIVE

TV CARNAGE: SPOOKY SENIOR CITIZENS


As if Gladys wasn’t creepy enough, the nurses load her up with mescaline and turn her loose in the suburbs wearing a rubber skeleton mask. MORE»

3 Comments

TV CARNAGE: HOW DO WE FIND BOB?!


I tell ya how we find Bob: We huff the space dust and get into this guy’s minivan and talk all night about the novel he’s thinking about writing. MORE»

4 Comments

TV CARNAGE: PESCI IS THE RAP KING!


Forget auto-tuning and all of the uproar of Justin Bieber, the only MC you will ever need to know is Pesci. You get it all with this sweaty little Italian man.

9 Comments

TV CARNAGE: TRAPPED IN THE VELVET CLOSET


While mourning the loss of America’s Sweetheart Gary Coleman, I totally forgot to do a tribute to America’s Romeo: Dennis Hopper.

3 Comments

TV CARNAGE: HOWIE, IS THAT YOU?


How does a man who wraps a condom over his head become a germaphobic host of a popular game show?

5 Comments

TV CARNAGE: SOMEBODY CALL SIR CHRISTOPHER HANSEN!


You meet this guy on line, he says he’s 20 and sure, he seems all interested in your video games and sunglasses, but when he arranges to meet you in the Walmart parking lot and gets you home, it’s another story.

4 Comments

WORK IT OUT SNEAK PREVIEW: BRAINPOWER WORKOUT


LET’S WORK IT OUT will permeate your brain and birth an egg of greatness that will hatch out of your skull.

2 Comments

TV CARNAGE: I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING


What happens when Cronenberg and Sally mate?! Well friends, it’s a catastrophic orgasm consisting of brain matter and aquanet.

5 Comments

TV CARNAGE: FATHER-SON MASSACRE


These are the moments dads live for. Their young martyr cheering about homemade napalm and a paralyzed pregnant woman is Cat Stevens to their ears. MORE»

9 Comments

TV CARNAGE: PUSSIFIED POETRY


Any time Mike attempts to be insightful, it just winds up sounding like a barf laced lecture by David Lynch.

13 Comments
STREET CARNAGE RADIO 05.07.10
FANG ISLAND

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STREET BONER 1291

This woman refused to let us take her picture but it seemed unethical to let her go.

★★★★★★★★★★

STREET BONER 1290

I’d been working on her for three blocks and things were going great but just as I went in for the kill, kaboosh. Gone. Fucking Matrix bitches.

★★★★★★★★½☆

STREET BONER 1289

Er… for whom, rodents?

½☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

STREET BONER 1288

Every time I’m about to give sandals a pass, I imagine Chucks on her and my dick becomes a pegacorn.

★★★★★★★★☆☆


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