TV CARNAGE ARCHIVE

TV CARNAGE: BILLY IRONWING


I know we took lots of shit from the Indians, but I’m having trouble remembering exactly when we pillaged their syntax.

7 Comments

TV CARNAGE: GOLDEN ERA


Easily my favorite vintage-boot commercial.

5 Comments

TV CARNAGE: FANTASY


It was always my ultimate romantic fantasy to be married to a big brawny, handsome firefighter and then spend hours

3 Comments

TV CARNAGE: PET PEEVE


If there’s one thing that I hate more than suits, it’s crowds.

1 Comment

TV CARNAGE: REMINDER


I often find myself needing a quick overview of the painful, shameful, and agonizingly long death of my mother.

4 Comments

TV CARNAGE: CARPOOLIN’


While Craigslist rideshare is a great way to save money and the environment, it can be really hit-or-miss as far as the other passengers go.

4 Comments

TV CARNAGE: GULLIBLE AS SHIT


As a compulsive liar, it really makes no difference to me what I’m lying about: it could be what I ate for breakfast, how much change I have in my pocket, even my opinion on Happy Feet Two

3 Comments

TV CARNAGE: AWKWARD


“I watched the dogs melt under my grandmother’s touch.”

8 Comments

TV CARNAGE: STUPID LIKE A FOX


The best way to find buried treasure is to outsource the finding, digging and accepting the wrath of the curse.

5 Comments

TV CARNAGE: A LITTLE ABOUT ME


“I watched the dogs melt under my grandmother’s touch.”

3 Comments
STREET CARNAGE RADIO 07.12.11
ZEBRA KATZ MIXTAPE: CHAMPAGNE

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STREET BONER 1678

When I’m mayor, brass knuckles will no longer be illegal but short hair and flats will.

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1677

You can keep your California girls. I wish they could all be breathtaking slobs who don’t give a shit.

★★★★★★★★★★

STREET BONER 1676

I don’t care how he died. I still think that cheetah is a lucky fucker.

★★★★★★★★★★

STREET BONER 1675

Black people never smile in photos. Even when they’re dressed like gay crusty clowns.

★★★★★★★½☆☆