I know we took lots of shit from the Indians, but I’m having trouble remembering exactly when we pillaged their syntax.

Easily my favorite vintage-boot commercial.

It was always my ultimate romantic fantasy to be married to a big brawny, handsome firefighter and then spend hours

If there’s one thing that I hate more than suits, it’s crowds.

I often find myself needing a quick overview of the painful, shameful, and agonizingly long death of my mother.

While Craigslist rideshare is a great way to save money and the environment, it can be really hit-or-miss as far as the other passengers go.

As a compulsive liar, it really makes no difference to me what I’m lying about: it could be what I ate for breakfast, how much change I have in my pocket, even my opinion on Happy Feet Two

“I watched the dogs melt under my grandmother’s touch.”

The best way to find buried treasure is to outsource the finding, digging and accepting the wrath of the curse.

“I watched the dogs melt under my grandmother’s touch.”