It’s virtually impossible to NOT want to touch Randy Jackson’s body, any given second of any given day and he knows that. Then he goes and ups the anti-Christ by wearing his trademark L.A. Czech wardrobe which naturally is designed to push all of us over the sensual edge. The fucker plays us all like an erotic violin. I can’t even hear him when he speaks because I’m too busy reading his gorgeous body. I tell you, I would kill to spend one night curled up with a glass of wine reading my favorite Randy Jackson tops!
He is also the king of segues (speaking of hot!) and at the age of 80, isn’t afraid to cast his own teen ballot.
Great, all this Randy talk has made me incredibly RANDY! Thanks Randy!


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This entry was posted on 08.14.08 at 12:09 pm by TV Carnage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.
8 Comments
  1. miaumiaume Says:

    its like unsubliminal messaging. now i really do wanna touch his bod-ay


  2. active hag Says:

    Dear Mr. Beckles,

    When can I see that Crystal Castles music video you did? Or did I miss it?

    Cordially,

    active hag?


  3. count brad lee Says:

    yo is Randy Jackson the subject of Randy’s Hot Tonight, or is that just in my masturbation world


  4. ladycake Says:

    I love that you keep tabs on Randy Jackson’s wardrobe. Me and my girls are obsessed with his shittyness. Too rich.
    PS fuck your former employer they suck so much now that you guys r gone.


  5. my two cents worth Says:

    randy is so fat, he’s a god that’s why


  6. Pecker Snot Says:

    i never noticed he waddles like that. or was it just because he was giving a backhand peace sign.


  7. Chachi and damn Guidos Says:

    He saw that shirt at JC Penny and said “Perfect.”


  8. Janet Dobinson Says:

    Count Brad, you were warming up at the end of that Raymi Roastin’ Extravaganza; its was like 2004 all over again.


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STREET CARNAGE RADIO 07.12.11
ZEBRA KATZ MIXTAPE: CHAMPAGNE

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STREET BONER 1681

Looks like Dora the Explorer is all growed up and ready to party!

★★★★★★★★☆☆

STREET BONER 1680

This is just as ridiculous as BeyoncĂ© doing shampoo ads for “blondes.”

★★★★★★★★★☆

STREET BONER 1679

Meet the exception to the “Women are attracted to confidence” rule.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

STREET BONER 1678

When I’m mayor, brass knuckles will no longer be illegal but short hair and flats will.

★★★★★★★★☆☆