STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE » WHEN I GET MY DRUG STUDY MONEY

I’m gonna get a massive,opulent, garish rich guy desk. A place were I can screw my receptionist, screw people over, make decisions and crush people. Equip with a top drawer where I, me, can hide my gun for the occasions when bad people show up, a secret hiding place underneath it for the occasions when bad people show up and an invisible bulletproof partition in front of the desk for the occasions when bad people show up. I’ll invite terrified strangers over just to ask people if they know who I am a I’ll change my name to Mason Storm. However, I would primarily use my awesome desk to showcase my all-white, rich guy hair and expensive international bobbles I picked up during my various international journeys. They may look like pieces of brass SHIT, but they are worth more than your pathetic life, loser.

xo PINKY

This entry was posted on 08.04.08 at 12:03 pm by Derrick Beckles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 2.0 feed. You can E-mail it to a friend.

5 Comments

Drewsy Says:

DEATH WISH!

so awesome. (Although this was easily the worst one)

08.04.08 at 2:09 pm
chip douglas Says:

Those are brass pieces of shit!

08.04.08 at 4:05 pm
Gayboners Says:

They’re called “baubles.”

Sorry I’m “that guy.”

08.04.08 at 11:28 pm
pepita Says:

Yeah, the only thing I got from this post was, “It’s ‘baubles’. ‘Baubles!’” in my head.

08.05.08 at 8:51 pm
jiffy Says:

i got bobbles, baubles and i want that desk too

08.07.08 at 12:14 am

STREET BONER 1124

You may have noticed there’s a lot of music industry chicks at SXSW all dressed up with no interest in you whatsoever. You may have also noticed you’re not in a band.

E-mail it! | No Comments

STREET BONER 1123

I love music nerds because they’re experts in other people saying, “Kick out the jams motherfuckers!”

E-mail it! | 15 Comments

STREET BONER 1122

The only way you’re going to get laid at SXSW is to find a girl who doesn’t mind having sex in a closet or on the floor of a shitty hotel room at six in the morning. In other words, you’re not going to get laid at SXSW.

E-mail it! | 21 Comments

STREET BONER 1121

Dude, Ché only executed 2,000 people. If you’re into communist genocide and you’re sick of Mao and Stalin, go for Pol Pot. He did 2,000,000.

E-mail it! | 20 Comments

STREET CARNAGE is mostly a website that features street fashion critiques called STREET BONERS and compilations of bad television called TV CARNAGE. The site also has a blog, a radio show, and regularly features video shorts made by Gavin and Derrick.

STREET CARNAGE is also a live presentation you can have in your town where Gavin shows a Street Boners "Best Of" and Derrick shows his latest TV Carnage endeavors.

STREET BONERS will eventually be compiled into a huge book which will feature hundreds of pages of Boners as well as contributions from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, Tim & Eric and many more.

Derrick makes videos for various bands as well as his own movies. His most recent project is called "Cop Movie" and is comprised of about three dozen different cop movies and he also has a workout video coming out that is made up of a million disgusting workout tapes. Gavin does freelance writing for TV, film and magazines and they both do funny acting stuff as well as other hilarious video shit we'll tell you about later. They are both dicks.

Bad Behavior has blocked 3680 access attempts in the last 7 days.