Keanu,
Teddy Bears are not supposed to be cool. Their job description clearly states that they need to be:
#A: comforting and submissive #B: cuddly and innocent and #C: in need of constant hugs and protection, but not COOL or in charge! A Teddy Bear in sunglasses is an awkward message. It tells the person in need of a cuddle: “Look, I got MY shit together, time for you to get YOUR shit together. I do not want to fucking HUG anymore! I want to finger bang, play pool, dance to Huey and Lewis and The News and be a KILLER bartender who rides a ridiculously loud motor bicycle. GROW UP!”
Way to kiss Teddy Bear ass Keanu! YOU lose HE wins. He HATES you and he’s the one dressed like your mom’s, brother’s magician friend, Stephen. You are like a Teddy Bitch to his Teddy Man.
Clip courtesy of the glorious and award stealing TV CARNAGE DVD “A Sore For Sighted Eyes. Available in the streetcarnage.com Gift Emporium aka STORE.” BUY IT NOW! xo
Leave a Reply
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
“bearsness?” ew
02.26.08 at 1:05 pm
It says on Emily’s blog that he and Gavin went down to Jamaica in December. Therefore we know that while down there he took some Rasta pics, and had someone carve “Street Carnage” lettering. Then knowing, as always, that there is no journalistic watchdogs ever looking over him, he crafted the letter from John and “Ratty.”
Further evidence exists in that the supposed Jamaican dred letter was published just after “Street Boners and TV Carnage” was shortened to “Street Carnage.” There was no way that John and Ratty could have known of the amalgamation. If it was a real letter they would have carved “Street Boners and TV Carnage.” Gavin and his ilk were also responsible for killing Kennedy and blowing up the world trade center.
We may also take the WWII vet letter as fake and just about every other supposedly sincere letter that seems to appear out of the crack of Gavin’s ass.
I can’t believe that for years I might have believed a lot of this shit. No wonder my life is so fucked up.
02.26.08 at 3:39 pm
I would like to dedicate “Murder She Wrote” by Chaka Demus, to Jules and his family.
02.27.08 at 8:45 am
WOW! WOW! WOW!
02.27.08 at 3:59 pm
so hilarious and funny! best thing ever written by anybody. ever.
doesnt matter gavin makes this shit up, actually kind of makes it better
02.27.08 at 7:21 pm
I want my life to end after watching this. Is this supposed to be lame, which means it’s funny? because it’s neither.
02.28.08 at 7:45 pm